Hello my fellow Americans, as you may know, I'm running for chat mod.
Now, now, hold your applause, I shall tell you why I would make a good chat mod.
*I save kittens.
*I can play the trombone.
*I shall stop any SJW or special snowflake from invading our lands.
*Trolls are helpless when they are around me.
*I'm for the American Dream, Smarf.
*I have an endless supply of JonTron and Nostalgia Critic gifs.
*I stole The Declaration of Independance so Barrack Obama could have more toilet paper.
*I give food to the people who really need it.
*My favorite Disney movie is the best Disney movie, Fantasia.
*I'm already iTZ's bodyguard; if you vote for me, I'll be your bodyguard too.
*I have an endless supply of macaroni.
*Only 8 seats available? I can make another seat, god damn it.
- This is all I got, so have a gif of a cat.