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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Tree Trunks" from season 1, which aired on April 12, 2010.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode begins with Finn and Jake waving around swords, cutting apples, and wearing apples on their heads]
Finn and Jake: Swords! Yeah, swords! Whoo!
Tree Trunks: [scolds Finn and Jake] Oh, men and their swords... You boys, stop horsing around with my apples!
Both Finn and Jake: Aw,Tree Trunks!
Tree Trunks: Now, come on over! I baked y'all an apple pie.
Finn: Yeah, apple pie!
Jake: Whooo-hoo-hoo!
Finn: I'm gonna eat it all before you even GET there! [runs away laughing]
Jake: Noooooo!
[Tree Trunks sets the pie down on a table]
Finn: Apple pie!
Jake: [blocking Finn] Don't let him eat it all!
Tree Trunks: [chuckles] Now, you boys sit down and behave yourselves. Oh!
[A fly lands on her apple pie and flies away]
Tree Trunks: Shoo, fly! Get off my apple pie! Huh! [dramatically] A fly landed on my pie. That's no good. [She throws it away.] Bye-bye.
Finn: Why are you throwing the pie away?
[A bunch of flies fly in and fly around the pie; Finn and Jake groan in disgust]
Tree Trunks: Flies wanted it, they can have it.
Tree Trunks: Anyways, don't y'all worry 'cause the new pie is coming in the wag of a lamb's tail.
Finn and Jake: New pie?
Finn: Woohoo! Pie, yeah!
Jake: Yeah! Wowowowowo
Tree Trunks: Here you are.
Finn: Wow.
Tree Trunks : Come on, go ahead.
[Finn and Jake eat Tree Trunk's delicious apple pie]
Tree Trunks: What you think?
Jake: Best apple pie ever!
Tree Trunks: Oh, Jake, thank you, but that ain't the best apple pie.
Finn: What are you talking about, Tree Trunks? What can be better than your apple pie?
Jake: You ate all the pie...
Tree Trunks: Finn, what would you do if you could do anything?
Finn: Anything? Well, I'd catch a shooting star, travel to outer space and fight space monsters!
Jake: I'd carve my face on the moon so the moon would look like my face!
Finn: What would you do, Tree Trunks?
Tree Trunks: I would go pick an apple.
Finn: ...Lame.
[Jake slaps Finn]
Finn: I'm sorry. I mean, it's just you pick apples every day.
Tree Trunks: This apple ain't like the apples that I pick. They say it's the apple of apples; rarest kind of all. Legends call it the Crystal Gem Apple.
[Jake spits tea at Finn]
Jake: That sounds awesome!
Finn: Where is it?
Tree Trunks: I've heard that it grows at the deepest end of the Evil Dark Forest.
Finn: Whoo! Tree Trunks you gotta go pick that apple!
Jake: YEAH!
Tree Trunks: What? Me? Oh, no I'm just a cute little elephant. I'm not cut out for adventuring.
Finn: Tree Trunks! This is your dream! Think about eating that apple with your own mouth.
Jake: Or your trunk.
Finn: Imagine the flavor.
Jake: And your satisfied face.
Tree Trunks: Really? You think I can handle the Scary Dark Forest?
Finn: Yeah, and we'll help you.
Jake: We love you, Tree Trunks.
Tree Trunks: Okay. I'll do it. Call me... Adventurer Tree Trunks.
[Adventure Time Screen comes with Tree Trunks as the sword]
Finn & Jake : Yeah, Tree Trunks!
Tree Trunks: I love being so high up from the ground!
Jake: Psst, I can take you even higher on my shoulders.
Finn: No, Jake. She has a weak heart.
Jake: Oh, yeah.
[They step into flesh]
Finn: Ewww, why is this ground all squishy?
Jake: Whatever it is, I'm liking it. Oh, yeah!
Tree Trunks: I wanna try!
Finn: Okay. I'm cool with you letting you do whatever you want.
Tree Trunks: Heeheehee! It's like some cookie dough!
[An eye comes up and stares at Tree Trunks]
Tree Trunks: Oh, hello there.
Finn: Uhh, Tree Trunks, stay away from that.
[The Wall of Flesh attacks Finn and Jake]
Finn: Ugh, you're gonna get it, wall of flesh.
[Finn and Jake attack the monster]
Tree Trunks: An eye and a mouth. Well, I think I got the perfect thing for him or her... stickers!
Finn: Careful, Tree Trunks, this thing is evil.
Tree Trunks: Here's a rainbow sticker, and here's a scratch-and-sniff sticker. Smells just like a pickle. Oh, and this one is a holographic unicorn, but it doesn't have a horn.
[The monster grabs Tree Trunks]
Tree Trunks: Oh, now, whatcha doing?
Finn: Huh? Tree Trunks!
[Finn cuts off the wall's arm before it could eat Tree Trunks]
[The wall returns to hide in the tree]
Jake: Whoo!
Finn: You better stay in that tree, baby. Um, Tree Trunks were you putting stickers on that evil monster?
Tree Trunks: Yes, I thought it needed some tender love and affection. Oh, what a pretty butterfly!
[Tree Trunks follows the butterfly]
Finn: Tree Trunks? Ugh. Jake, I just realized that Tree Trunks is old and bonkers. We can't take her through this Evil Dark Forest.
Jake: Nah, she'll be fine.
Finn: But the monsters?
Jake: It's fine. It's fine!
Finn: Are you sure? 'Cause she has zero adventurer training.
Jake: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine, she'll be fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
Finn: [laughs] Maybe it is fine. Tree Trunks?
Jake: Where'd she go?
Finn: Tree Trunks!
Finn: We gotta find her, Jake! Tree Trunks!
Jake: Where are you, Tree Trunks?
[Tree Trunks sets up a picnic with the butterfly]
Tree Trunks: And here's your teacup, and here's my teacup.
[Evil sign posts follow Tree Trunks]
Finn & Jake: Tree Trunks! [Gasp]
Tree Trunks: And here's your sandwich. Oops, you dropped it.
Finn: Tree Trunks, run!
Tree Trunks: Oh, hey, Finn.
Jake: Hiya!
Finn: Time to call your mamas, evil sign posts.
[Finn & Jake fight the sign posts]
Tree Trunks: Patience, boys. There's enough tea for everyone.
Finn: Errr...
[Evil sign posts Grabs Tree Trunks]
[Finn grabs and protects Tree Trunks]
Finn: NO!
Tree Trunks: Oh, Finn. What a nice hug.
[Finn gets jacked up]
Finn: I'm not hugging you! I'm trying to save your life! There's too many!!
Jake: Finn?!
[Jake smashes all of the sign posts]
Tree Trunks: Oh, Finn. That tea party was crummier than a big old biscuit.
Finn: Errrr. Tree Trunks, I'm all jacked up because of you. Look at my jacked up face!
Tree Trunks: Are you mad at me?
Finn: No, I'm not mad. You're too super-cute for me to be mad at you, and you're a top notch adventurer. Now, let's go find and eat the heck out of that crystal gem apple together.
[A Snake Armed Ruby Brain Beast appears]
Finn: Dang it!
Jake: You go fight—I'll keep Tree Trunks out of trouble.
Finn: Awesome.
Tree Trunks: J-Jake I think Finn is getting jacked up again.
Jake: Yeah, Finn can handle it. He's 12.
Tree Trunks: I think I know a way to help him out.
Jake: Uhh, you should stay here, Tree Trunks.
Tree Trunks: But I thought Finn told me that I was a top notch adventurer. And my adventurer instincts tell me to seduce that tentacle critter with my womanly charms and elephant prowess.
Jake: Uhh, no way.
[Off-screen Tree Trunks kissed Jake on his face many times]
[Tree Trunks tries to seduce the Brain Beast]
Finn: Uh, what are you doing here, Tree Trunks?
Tree Trunks: I'm helping you by tempting this guy with my body.
Finn: It's not a guy, Tree Trunks! It's a Snake Armed Ruby Brain Beast!
Tree Trunks: Even brain beasts get lonely, Finn!
Finn: Jake! You were supposed to watch her!
Jake: She got passed me, man. I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me.
Finn: GET her out of here!
Jake: Huh?
[Jake grabs the snake arms]
Jake: Finn, kill it!
Finn: I can't find it's magic gem weak spot!
[The Brain Beast turns to his back]
Finn: Oh, there it is.
Tree Trunks: I did it! I helped! I'm the sexiest adventurer in the world!
Finn: Tree Trunks!! You're not an adventurer! You nearly got yourself killed again! Do you wanna die, Tree Trunks?! Is that what you think adventurers do?! Die and make all their friends feel terrible 'cause they couldn't save them?!
[Tree Trunks cries]
Jake: Whoa, man.
Tree Trunks: I'm going home now.
Finn: Ugh... Tree Trunks. Tree Trunks!
Tree Trunks: Don't follow me. Oh, Finn... You shouldn't yell at cuties that just wanna help you. OH!
Finn: Man, I feel horrible. I was only yelling because I care about her safety.
Jake: That's what happens when you care too much, dude.
Tree Trunks: OH!
[Finn and Jake ran after Tree Trunks]
Finn and Jake: Tree Trunks! Huh!
Tree Trunks: Finn, I found the crystal gem apple.
Finn: Woohoo!
Jake: You're the man, Tree Trunks!
Finn: Tree Trunks, I'm a huge butt guy for getting mad at you. I'm a huge fart. I was only upset because... I love you and I don't wanna see you get hurt.
Tree Trunks: That's precious, Finn, and I'll accept your apology if you let me kiss your cheek.
Finn: Uhhhh, I don't know, I--
Jake: Whoa! Let her kiss your cheek, man. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Crystal Guardian Jake: Whoa! Let her kiss your cheek, man. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Crystal Guardian Finn: Uhhhh, I don't know...
Finn: A crystal guardian! Tree Trunks, stay out of the monster battle this time. I don't want you getting hurt.
Tree Trunks: Alright, I promise I will.
Finn: Radical! Back off you!
Crystal Guardian Finn: Back off you!
Finn: Stop copying me! Grrah!
Crystal Guardian Finn: Stop copying me! Grrah!
[After the collision of their fists, Finn pulls his back in pain]
Finn: Ahhhh! A-a-oww..
Jake: Finn! Graw!
Crystal Guardian Jake: Graw!
[After the collision of headbutts, Jake gets hurt]
Jake: Ow! Ow.
Finn: He's copying everything we do.
Tree Trunks: Hey! It's my butterfly-friend. That's precious.
Jake: Whoo! Shake it, Tree Trunks!
Crystal Guardian Jake: Whoo! Shake it, Tree Trunks!
Finn: Gem-clam! Let's beat it up while it's copying Tree Trunks! Yaah!
Jake: Crud, this is barf dude.
Finn: Oh, man, I'm a total moron! We gotta fight this one Tree Trunks style.
Jake: I'll get the make up.
[Later, after putting on make up]
Finn: Hey! Crystal Guardian, are you okay with Tree Trunks taking a bite of that apple?
Jake: I'm okay with it.
Crystal Guardian Jake: I'm okay with it.
Jake: And I'm stupid.
Crystal Guardian Jake: And I'm stupid.
Jake: Heh-heh, you heard the guardian, TT. Bite that thing.
Tree Trunks: Okay!
Finn: Whoo! How's it taste, Tree Trunks?
Jake: Yeah! How is it?


[Tree Trunks eventually explodes, leaving Finn, Jake, and the Crystal Guardian shocked in horror. After the shocking disappearance, Tree Trunks is seen walking in front of a crystal background. The episode ends.]