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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "The Red Throne" from season 5, which aired on February 10, 2014.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode opens in the Fire Kingdom. Flame Princess is seated at her throne, flanked by Flame Guards, in front of a line of Flame People, and Flame King is imprisoned in his lantern. A Flame Person runs off happily.]
Flame Messenger: Whoo-hoo!
Flame King: [grumbles unhappily]
Flame Princess: Next.
Flame Person: Oh, Your Highness, can you help my poor child? His hair is starting to go, and we can't afford flame care and... [sobs]
Flame Princess: Take this fortifier. It should last you through the cold season. [hands her the bottle]
Flame Person: Oh, Glob bless thy soul! [runs off laughing]
Flame Princess: [sighs]
[Her servant offers her a cup of tea.]
Ursula: More tea, Your Highness?
Flame Princess: [sips tea] Thank you.
Ursula: Mm-hmm.
Flame Princess: Who's next?
Flame Person: Hi, um, my microwave seems to be broken, and— [A rumble is heard offscreen.] aah!
Flame Lord: [breaks down the front door] Flame Princess!
Flame Princess: Don John—the Flame Lord!
Don John: I fear you're not evil enough to rule the kingdom.
Flame Princess: Excuse me? How dare you! [groans] [Her flames pale.] What?
Ursula: [laughs evilly while pointing to the teacup]
Flame Princess: You've been poisoning me. How could you, Ursula? Guards!
[Flame Lord casts a spell that gives him mind control over the Flame People.]
Flame Princess: Huh?
[A Flame Guard walks up to the lever that controls the lantern.]
Flame King: [happily] Oh, here he comes!
Flame Princess: No!
Flame King: [laughs evilly] Yes! Playtime's over, honey. Time to give Daddy his throne back. [as an aside] I've secretly arranged to make Don John my vizier and give him my daughter's hand in marriage.
Flame Lord: Uh, yeah, I know.
[The lantern lowers to the ground and Flame King steps out.]
Flame King: Ha-ha!
Flame Princess: [growls]
Flame Lord: Hwah!
Flame King: [shakes hands with Flame Lord] Man, you're looking shredded.
Flame Lord: My gym is dark magic, and my protein shake is rage.
Flame King: Okay, okay. [chuckles]
[Flame Lord punches Flame King playfully and chuckles. He then casts another spell, which removes Flame Princess' crown and places it on Flame King's head.]
Flame King: Splendid work, Don John.
Flame Lord: No big D, bro.
[A Fire Wolf runs by quickly.]
Flame King: Heavens to Betsy!
[It runs over to Flame Princess, and Cinnamon Bun, riding the wolf, picks her up and places her on its back.]
Flame Princess: Cinnamon Bun!
Flame King: Don't let them escape!
Flame Lord: Come here, girl. We're getting hitched!
[The entranced Flame People walk toward them.]
Cinnamon Bun: No! [hits them back with his lance] Go away!
Flame Princess: I can't leave. I have to fight for my kingdom!
Cinnamon Bun: No. Fight later. Now we get help.
[They charge toward the exit.]
Flame King: Huh? Aah! [jumps out of the way]
Flame Lord: Hwah! [jumps out of the way]
Flame King: Why did I jump?
[The scene changes to them riding through a forest.]
Flame Princess: Thanks, CB.
Cinnamon Bun: [guffaws] You're welcome. How are you feeling?
Flame Princess: A little better, I think.
Cinnamon Bun: Who should we go to for help? Princess Bubblegum?
Both: Nah.
Flame Princess: I don't trust her.
Cinnamon Bun: Yeah, she's devious.
Flame Princess: Well, I've seen Finn battle huge monsters and even armies, and we need somebody who can fight... CB, take me to Finn.
Cinnamon Bun: Mmm, okay.
[At the Tree Fort, Finn is sitting in a chair and fiddling with his mouth. The Fire Wolf bursts through the wall.]
Finn: Waah!
Flame Princess: Finn!
[Cinnamon Bun and Flame Princess dismount and walk over to Finn, who stands up.]
Finn: Um... [chuckles] hey. Uh, Jake isn't here. He's sleeping over at Lady Rainicorn's maybe.
Flame Princess: Finn, I've been slowly poisoned by my treacherous handmaiden. Now my powers are weakened, and—and the Flame Lord has freed my father and threatened to marry me. But I escaped with CB.
Finn: Oh, what?! I'll help you. I'll do anything for you.
Flame Princess: Listen, Finn, this doesn't mean we're getting back together. We're all business.
Finn: Mm-hmm. Of course.
Cinnamon Bun: Yeah, business.
Flame Princess: [sighs] I'm feeling exhausted. Where can I freshen up?
Finn: [points] Girls' bathroom is over there. Also, it's the boys' bathroom.
Flame Princess: Oh, thanks. [walks off]
Finn: So, what do you think, CB? You think I still have a shot with her, right?
Cinnamon Bun: [bluntly] No.
Finn: Does she ever talk about me? Is she seeing anybody?
Cinnamon Bun: No and no.
Finn: "No and no," she does talk about me, or "no and no," she isn't seeing anybody?
Flame Princess: Alright, guys, let's wolf.
[The scene switches to the three flying through the air on the Fire Wolf.]
Finn: So... your Fire Wolf can fly.
Cinnamon Bun: Yep. I taught him.
Finn: Hmm. [places his hand on Flame Princess' shoulder] Whoa! You've cooled down a lot.
Flame Princess: No funny stuff.
Finn: Things have been going great for me lately. Been hanging out with my boys. I got a cursed sword arm now, so that's new. Yeah, I've been exercising a lot and taking some piano lessons—trying to improve myself. Not dating anybody or anything, just getting a little me time, being the best Finn I can be. [scoots closer to Flame Princess]
Cinnamon Bun: [groans and looks back] Hyup! [moves Flame Princess in front of him]
Finn: Oh, no!
[They reach the outskirts of the Flame Kingdom and land.]
Finn: I hid my flameproof suit behind these rocks... just in case, whatever, you know?
Cinnamon Bun: [drawing in the dirt with a stick] So, the guards are posted here and here, so we should probably sneak in here. [points]
Finn: Suited! [walks over dirt drawing]
Cinnamon Bun: Uh...
Finn: Remember my fire suit? Hey, CB, you did a great job getting us here and everything, [extends grass sword] but I got this, all right?
[They walk up to the Fire Palace.]
Finn: I got a sword arm, so—
Cinnamon Bun: Yeah, you said that.
Finn: Watch this. [runs through the front door, breaking it] Hey, guards! Come at me at the same time!
Flame Princess: [hushed] What are you doing?!
Finn: Let's go, Princess! [grabs her hand]
Cinnamon Bun: But that wasn't the plan! No!
Finn: Ha-ha!
Flame Guard: [monotone] It's the princess.
Flame Guards: Capture them!
Finn: [holding up his sword] Ahhhhhh—
Flame Princess: No, Finn, don't hurt them! They're entranced!
Finn: [retracts sword] Oh, right. [Flame Guards move in on them.] Oh, no.
Flame Guards: Captured.
Cinnamon Bun: [groans angrily then roars loudly] [breaks his lance in half and runs toward the guards] Hyah! Um... [grunts] [tries to break through the guards' ranks]
Finn: There's CB!
Flame Guard: Get that bun!
Cinnamon Bun: Could you move, please?
Flame Guard: Whoo, get him, boys! We're taking these two away.
Finn: Don't worry, FP, your boy Finn won't fail you.
Flame Guard: [to Cinnamon Bun] Put up your dukes. You have permission to leave when you out-duke us.
Cinnamon Bun: Okay.
Flame Guards: Duke! Duke! Duke!
[One Flame Guard swings at Cinnamon Bun and misses. Cinnamon Bun knocks the other out.]
Cinnamon Bun: Duke! Uh, duke! [hits the other one and takes one of their keys] These two are out-duked! Now I'm making my escape. [runs off]
[Scene changes to Finn and Flame Princess in prison.]
Flame Princess: [sighs]
Finn: Trust me. It'll be fine.
Flame Lord: For soon you shall be mine. [chuckles] If you've forgotten, I'm reminding you now.
Flame Princess: Never!
Finn: Yeah! It's because you secretly still have feelings for me.
Flame Princess: No!
Finn: [sadly] Hmm.
Flame Princess: [to Flame Lord] I can never marry you, because I don't even know you, much less like you, and forcing me to marry you is gross.
[Flame Lord squints and walks away. Flame King is looking out over his kingdom and jumping joyfully.]
Flame King: Whoo! Whoo! Man, I love staring out over things. Whoo! [jumps] It's so good to be king.
Flame Lord: You said she'd do whatever you told her.
Flame King: Umm, okay...
Flame Lord: But she refuses to marry me. She's her own woman, you liar!
Flame King: Liar? You want to fight me?
Flame Lord: Aye—fistfight. [puts up his fists]
Flame King: Yes... I'll fistfight you. Come on! [punches Flame Lord in the face]
Flame Lord: You hit me? Felt good! [punches Flame King in the face]
Flame King: Oof! I love fistfighting. [gets punched again] You dirty bread breaker. [charges at Flame Lord growling and punches him in the face again]
Flame Lord: Aah! [punches Flame King]
[The two continue fighting and wrestling.]
Flame Lord: Put them down. [punches Flame King] Put your dukes down.
Flame King: No! [punches back]
[They continue punching each other in the face and make their way into the room where Finn and Flame Princess are imprisoned.]
Finn & Flame Princess: Whaa?
[Cinnamon Bun bursts through the wall on his Fire Wolf. He looks back to see Flame Lord and Flame King still punching each other then walks over to Finn and Flame Princess.]
Finn & Flame Princess: We're saved!
Cinnamon Bun: Hi. [procures key] Got a key.
[He inserts the key into the lock, and the bars rise up.]
Flame Lord: Fight! [punches Flame King]
Flame King: Fight! [punches Flame Lord]
Cinnamon Bun: They're distracted. Let's go!
[They climb onto the Fire Wolf and fly through the hole in the wall. Finn reaches for Flame Princess, but quickly retracts when Cinnamon Bun looks back at them.]
[The scene changes back to Flame King and Flame Lord fighting. They burst through a wall and roll on the ground, wrestling. Flame Lord gets on top and punches Flame King several times.]
Flame King: [kicks Flame Lord off him] Leg press!
Flame Lord: [groans] Stamina... failing.
[Flame King grabs a hold of him and they wrestle. Then Flame King uses his powers to fly upward.]
Flame Lord: Cheater!
[Flame King throws Flame Lord to the ground, who lands with a thunderous thud.]
[Cinnamon Bun, Flame Princess, and Finn have reached the Fire Palace, where dozens of entranced Flame People try to stop them.]
Cinnamon Bun: Onward, Jake 2!
[A Flame Person throws a bit of fire at Cinnamon Bun's face, knocking his hat off and causing him to become fully baked.]
Cinnamon Bun: Aah!
Flame Princess: CB, are you okay?
[Scene switches back to Flame Lord.]
Flame Lord: [groans] [closes his eyes]
[The Flame People suddenly become un-entranced.]
Female Flame Person: Huh? What happened?
Male Flame Person: Should—should we keep attacking?
Cinnamon Bun: Stop! You were all brainwashed... by him! [points to Flame King]
Flame King: Uh-oh.
Female Flame Person: Hey, I don't like that guy!
Male Flame Person: Yeah, let's get him!
[The crowd of Flame People run toward Flame King.]
Cinnamon Bun: Capture him!
Flame King: It wasn't me. It was Don John! [A Flame Guard tackles him.] Aah!
[Some other Flame People start kicking him.]
Flame Lord: [groans weakly]
Flame Princess: [gasps] [dismounts and runs toward Flame Lord]
Flame Lord: Huh? [sits up] Oh... [rubs head]
[Flame Princess runs up behind him and punches him in the head.]
Flame Lord: Aah!
[The scene changes to the lantern, now containing Flame King and Flame Lord, being raised up.]
Flame King: Have you all gone dumb from Don John's magic? I mean, how do you expect this softy to rule you? She's even weaker than before from being poisoned. Look!
[Flame People murmur in agreement.]
Flame Princess: Oh, come on.
Cinnamon Bun: You're wrong. Flame Princess may not be the most ruthless of all despots, but she is strong where it really counts—in her heart. And that is good.
[A Flame Person sheds a tear and wipes it away.]
Cinnamon Bun: I have learned so much watching this beautiful woman work, and with her example, I have become a better man. I will be by her side as her champion and knight every step of the way because... I love her.
Flame Princess: Thank you.
[They hold hands.]
Flame Person: Aw, how sweet!
[Cinnamon Bun walks her up to her throne, and she takes her seat. The Flame People cheer.]
Flame King: [growls loudly]
Finn: Jeez. Did I just get shown up by Cinnamon Bun?

Episode ends