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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "The Hall of Egress" from season 7, which aired on March 5, 2016.

Princess Bubblegum (flashback)
This transcript is incomplete, missing [actions].


Jake: [panting] Remember last time we were out this way? It was right after you messed things all up with Flame Princess.
Finn: [chuckles] Yeah, that sucked. But then we found the Dungeon Train, remember? That was awesome.
Jake: No, it wasn't.
Finn: Sure it was. Anyway, Flambo's brother's map says the weird cave should be like, right over... Ah! It's right here. [chuckles] Come on, Jake.
Jake: Okay, hold on. Let me get out my sidewalk chalk. I want to write all over the walls in there.
Finn: What? You can't use that stuff in here. This is like an ancient, sacred temple.

[The door shuts itself]

Finn: Oh, well, now, that's just great. You don't put traps in the foyer! The foyer is a safe space. Man, not even Jake could smash through this mess. But maybe there's a back door or something.
Finn: Uh oh! Options. Better leave a little trail in case I get lost. Bread-crumb style. Plus, for if Jake gets in and tries to track me down. Too bad I don't still have that sidewalk ch... Oh!

[Finn crashes to the floor]

Finn: Okay, well, scratch that. Now I really hope there's another way out.

[Finn looks into the upside-down snowman statue made of rocks]

Finn: Hall of Egress. Egress, egress.

Finn: [in Finn's flashback] What's 'egress' mean?
Princess Bubblegum: [in Finn's flashback] Exit.

Finn: Egress means exit!

[Finn tries yet fails to open the hatch, then Finn smashes the rock from the top of the upside-down snowman statue against it]

Finn: Great. What am I supposed to do now? [inhales, then falls back through the hatch and on to the ground]

Finn: Wait. Hey. Hey, I just smashed you. I... Ah... Magic door, okay. Right, but if I...

Finn: Well done, Finn. You solved the magic door. That ought to have done it, and... Oh. This door is too tricky for me. Guess I better give up, right? Wrong, wrong! Let's try that again.

Finn: Hmm. Smooth like metal. Floor's smooth too. What have we here? An errant thread! [chuckles] It must lead back out. Bread-crumb... Oh, trap door? [grunts] Spike trap. Better head back and regroup.

Finn: Fiendish. Anyway, don't let's do that again.

[Finn draws the map of the labyrinth on a paper from his backpack, and marks the location of the spike trap.]

Finn: And right then straight. And... Hey now. Hold the phone, there should be a left turn here. Letters? E... G... 'Egress'. It spells 'egress'. This way! And here's another one, and another... [trap door opens] Whoa!

Finn: Okay. So, every map I make is wrong. All the exit signs led to traps. Plus the braille, the hieroglyphics, and the tape recorder message too. It's almost like the maze is trying to tell me something. Something confusing, whatever! Who needs anyway with your stupid signs and messages? I'm Finn Mertens, ya heard? And I don't need no nothing! Watch me. [inhales]

[Finn dashes into the hatch and keeps babbling at the same time]
[babbling slows down, and Finn starts panting]
[Finn hears Jake's voice from a distance]

Jake: Finn? Fi-inn!
Finn: Jake! Jake, I'm coming!
Jake: Finn? Where are ya, buddy?

[Finn pops out from a pile of stones]
Finn: Jake!
[Finn opens his eyes, then he is relocated to the front of the hatch]
Finn: That's a little disappointing. Still, though. I'm in the homestretch here.
[Finn dashes into the hatch then pops out from the ground again]
Finn: Jake!
Jake: Finn! There you are.
Finn: Yeah. Sorry to pop up, then disappear again like that.
Jake: Again? You just got here, son.
Finn: I did? Shoot, man. This cave has got me straight scrambled up and down.
Jake: What cave?
Finn: What? Oh. Uh oh.

Finn: Well?
Jake: Well, I followed your map, but there's just a bunch of grass here.
Finn: What? Let me see! [opens his eyes]

[Finn is relocated to the front of the hatch again]
Finn: Dang it.
Finn: So, yeah. Everything I did to try to make sense of the maze or to play it safe totally backfired, but when I got fed up, and started just charging in willy-nilly, I was able to get to the end and find you.
Jake: And then the whole thing disappeared. But I wonder how come I don't remember any of it.
Finn: I don't know. I'm just hoping, maybe if I sleep it off, maybe I'll be better in the morning.
Jake: Okay, well... Good night, buddy.
Finn: Thanks, Jake. Good night.

BMO: Are you awake?
Finn: Yes.
BMO: Are you gonna open your eyes now?
Finn: Maybe.
BMO: Are you scared?
Finn: No.
BMO: Then do it.
Finn: On three.
BMO, Finn: One, two, three,...

[Finn is relocated to the front of the hatch again]

Jake: So, been almost a month now. What do you think? You wanna try opening 'em? It's beautiful day. Plus, I need someone to tell me if this hat looks cool.
Finn: Man I told you. If I open 'em now, it'll just be the same. I got to wait till something's different.
Jake: Yeah, that makes sense, I guess. So, um, I got you a little something, a little present.
Finn: Wow, thanks man!
Jake: You're really gonna thank me. Gotcha!
Finn: No!

Finn: Yeah, you've done it, like, 30 times now.

Finn: It's like programmed into your DNA or something.
Jake: Well, shoot, man. If I wanna do it that bad, it must be kinda right, right?
Finn: [sighs]
Jake: Look at it from where I'm sitting. All this funky pizzazz that only you can see, that's like the literal definition of a hallucination, either all that stuff is a dream or like, I'm a dream. And I ain't no dream, ya heard?
Finn: Yeah, I know, I heard. It's just that, well...
BMO: Hyah! Open up!

[Finn is relocated to the front of the hatch again]

Finn: Oh, Jake, I know you mean well, but I guess I got to see this one through on my own. [sighs] I'll see you around, buddy.
Finn: Huh? What the... How long has this been going on? Someone's apt to track me down, bread-crumb style, e.g. Jake. Can't let him catch me. No more threads to follow. No more egress.

Finn: Hmm. It's cool in here... Ain't nothing wrong with that. Deep too. That's good. Ain't nobody gonna be looking for me down. Ugh! [gasps, and starts shouting] Egress! Egress! Egress! Egress!

BMO's voice: Something's different.

[Finn removes blindfolds from his eyes]

Princess Bubblegum's voice: Hurry, Finn. At the seashell's center lies, the cornucopia's smallest door.
Jake: Whoa! That must have been some cave!
Finn: No comment!

[episode ends]