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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Temple of Mars" from season 10, which aired on March 18, 2018.

This transcript is complete.


Transcript[]

[The episode opens with Finn carrying two plastic bags full of eggs towards the Tree Fort.]
Finn: [Grunts as he opens the door with his foot, then opens the fridge with his foot and begins pouring in the eggs.] Boiled eggs. In the fridge.
[Jermaine is sat at the table. He clears his throat. Finn bangs his head on the fridge door and scatters boiled eggs over the floor.]
Finn: Jake! You're back! I've missed you so mu- Oh.
Jermaine: Uh, hi Finn. It's just me.
Finn: Jermaine! You and Jake both have sort of a grapefruit nature to you.
Jermaine: I came to your playhouse because I'm worried about Jake.
Finn: Don't worry, he's fine. He left a note.
[Finn holds up Jake's note. It reads "BRB - Jake".]
Jermaine: How long ago did he leave that?
Finn: Uh, I dunno. Maybe five weeks?
Jermaine: [Groans and exhales sharply] Whoo. Finn, you know you can call me if you're in trouble, right? Our brother's missing, and I come here finding you doing a lazy man's load with a hundred boiled eggs.
Finn: It's all they have at the store.
Jermaine: [Sits on the floor] I'm just worried, 'cause I had a dream about Jake - a vision.
[A representation of Jermaine's vision is shown. A tiny Jake is shown on top of Jermaine's head. He is in space, emaciated and alone.]
Jermaine: I think he's all alone in outer space. I don't think he can come home, and he's running out of birthday cake and cocktail hot dogs.
[Jake falls onto his side and the vision ends.]
Finn: Jake's in space?!
Jermaine: [Brushing something off his head] I know! It's chilling.
Finn: Hmm. Oh! So, this cosmic stuff, planets and space... [He begins writing a note. A pen lid in his mouth muffles his speech.] This is Normal Man-type subjects. [He spits out the lid and slaps the note onto the fridge alongside Jake's. It reads "BRB - Finn".] We're going to Mars!
Jermaine: Mars?! [Grunts and gets up.] Is it too much to hope that "Mars" is the name of some bookstore you like?
[The scene changes. Finn and Jermaine approach the house where Normal Man used to live.]
Jermaine: Is that a boat? I haven't seen a boat in years.
[They enter the house. Tiny Manticore is sat on a shelf listening to a cassette player.]
Jermaine: Ah, this is a pretty old house. What's that on the shelf? A little pegasus?
[They continue into the basement.]
Jermaine: Into the basement. Sure is lots of broken glass and decay down here. I'll be honest - I was just talking a lot because I'm nervous.
Finn: [Grabs the handles of the Martian transporter.] I know.
[Finn gestures to Jermaine, and Jermaine climbs onto his chest.]
Finn: [Whispering] Jake.
[The transporter whirs to life and sends them both out of the atmosphere in a beam of light. They pass through a cluster of eggs in space and then touch down on Mars. Jermaine screams the entire way.]
Jermaine: [Whimpers, panting, coughs, then speaks hoarsely] Mars.
[Finn and Jermaine walk past some Martians cleaning statues of Margles.]
Finn: Dang. Looking real prosperous around here.
Jermaine: Who's the statues, do you think?
Finn: Maybe Margles? But I've only seen a photo of her. Wait! Betty?
[Betty is standing by a pile of sand and a huge hole. She uses a pair of tweezers to drop a grain of sand into the hole.]
Betty: Oh, Finn. Uh, how is-
Finn: I haven't seen you, Betty, since you double-crossed everyone.
Betty: I-
Finn: Ya slopped up!
King Man: Finn! Empathy! [He climbs out from the pile of sand.]
Finn: Normal Man.
King Man: Nay! King Man! [Bows and then puts his hand on Finn's shoulder.] Finn, Betty is tormented. Just look at her.
Finn: Oh.
Betty: I'm trying to get better. I'm filling this hole with sand - grain by grain. [She drops another grain into the hole.]
King Man: We're going to cure Betty's obsession with the Ice King and the magical madness inflicted upon her.
Betty: [Glitches out.] G-G-G-G-Gah
Finn: If you inflicted it on her, shouldn't you be filling the hole?
King Man: Empathy, Finn. [He noogies Finn.]
Finn: Aah!
[The scene changes. Finn, Jermaine, King Man, and Betty are walking down a canyon towards a large entranceway.]
King Man: Okay, so, Jake's in space.
Jermaine: Yeah.
King Man: And you don't know where in space.
Jermaine: Yeah.
King Man: And you don't know where in space, even though literally every single place in this dimension is [air quotes] "in space".
Jermaine: Again, yeah.
King Man: You are a real cutie. Okay, here we are. To locate Jake, you will need to retrieve our space telemetry capsule - deep within Mars at the end of a deadly three-part mind maze.
Jermaine: [Whimpers]
King Man: Don't fret, cowardly dog. Betty will go with you.
Betty: I... should really get back to my sand.
Finn: Nah. You should come with us.
King Man: Now, only Martians may enter the maze, so you'll need hats to fool the guard over there.
Jermaine: Okay, cool. Where are the hats?
King Man: Space.
Jermaine: Wha- Aw, come on, man!
[King Man winks and points to a nearby box full of hats.]
Jermaine: [Groans]
[Finn removes his normal hat to put on a Martian one, revealing that his head is shaven.]
Jermaine: Eeh!
Finn: [Talking to the guard.] Um, Door Man?
Guard Man: [Looking up from his book] I'm Guard Man.
Finn: Well, I am Boy Man.
Jermaine: Uh, and I'm... Jer Man.
Guard Man: Sure. [Looks back down at his book.]
Finn: [Whispering to Jermaine] "Jer Man" was really funny.
Jermaine: Thanks, Finn.
[They enter the maze and the door slams shut. They emerge into a room filled with water and strange frogs. Most of them have heads which resemble Ice King's crown.]
Finn: Hey Jermaine, get a load of these frogs. What do you think's going on with all these frogs, Jermaine? Jermaine?
Jermaine: What? I don't know.
[Finn spots a single frog whose head resembles Fern's hat.]
Finn: Oh, whoa. That one looks different - kinda... special.
[The Fern frog's eyes suddenly turn red. It hisses and leaps at Finn.]
Finn: Yip! [He ducks the frog.]
Fern frog: Remember!
[The frog falls into the water and out of sight.]
Finn: Whew!
Betty: Finn!
Finn: I'm okay. These guys mean business, though. If you look them in the eyes, they get outraged.
[As Finn is speaking, Betty looks at many of the Ice King frogs, and their eyes turn red.]
Finn: You got all that, Betty? Betty! Hup!
[Finn tackles Betty to the ground and the frogs fly overhead.]
Betty: Oh! There's more on this side.
Finn: [Growls] Hyup!
[Finn hoists Betty and Jermaine onto his back and runs to the end of the room as frogs continue to fly at them.]
Betty: Guys, I think I figured out the frog puzzle. [Jermaine pulls her hat over her mouth, and her speech is muffled.] It's really quite simple.
[They arrive at a structure made of ice where there is a blackboard full of mathematical symbols, and the Ice Thing is perched above.]
Betty: I found the next challenge! I think maybe if I solve this equation, we'll be able to pass through to the next chamber.
Finn: And if we mess up, that guy pecks our tummies open, right? [He gestures at the Ice Thing.]
Betty: No. See, the work is already full of errors. I just need to correct them.
Jermaine: Um, I'm not trying to complain or anything, but none of these puzzles have anything... to do with... me.
Betty: [Speaking over Jermaine] Look see? This quadrinomial has been improperly factored. He forgot to double cube root the bottom partial nominator. [She magically produces a piece of icy chalk and corrects the error on the blackboard.] There we go. I'll have us out of here in no time.
Finn: Well, just let me know if you need any help - with anything besides these maths problems.
Betty: [Muttering to herself] X plus square, hypotenuse cubed plus Y minus three... [Muttering continues.]
[Finn spots the error she corrected reverting back to its erroneous form.]
Finn: [Gasps]
Ice Thing: [Chuckles]
Finn: Hey! He's jukin' the stats!
Betty: What?
Finn: He's changing the dang numbers around!
Betty: He's changing. Oh no.
Finn: [Climbing towards the Ice Thing] Come on, Jermaine!
Jermaine: Up there? You're gonna break your neck!
Ice Thing: [Laughs and takes off.]
Finn: Hey!
[The ice structure snaps and Finn falls through the blackboard, screaming. It shatters and Finn, Jermaine, and Betty are transported to a white void.]
Finn: [Groans and rubs his head] If anyone else feels like solving any of these puzzles, just jump right in, you know?
Jermaine: Hey! Over here! I hear something.
[They approach a window which looks into a room where a past version of Betty is speaking to someone on the phone.]
Past Betty: ...if you water them once a week they'll totally be fine. No! I know! Six months studying ancient petroglyphs in the Outback?! [Squeals] I can't believe it! [Her conversation continues indistinctly in the background.]
Betty: That's me.
Jermaine: Uh-doy!
Finn: You looks so happy. And sane.
Betty: [Sighs] I was. But I never took that trip. I met Simon the next day, and he was just so amazing. I put everything on hold to help him search for the Enchiridion.
Jermaine: Listen, Betty, I may not be a psychiatrist or a life coach, or even know what you're talking about, but maybe you should try focusing on yourself a little more, you know?
Betty: Can I though? I spent so much time dedicated to Simon I'm not sure there's even any "me" left anymore.
Past Betty: Good point, Future Betty! Maybe it is too late to save you, but with your power and my joie de vivre-ay, maybe the two of us could save Simon together! Think about it.
Finn: Oh, come on, Betty! Get it together! Even if you are a lost cause, she-
Jermaine: -Or whatever she represents-
Finn: -is not.
Past Betty: Or am I? [Blinks innocently]
Betty: No, Finn's right. You'll thank me for this later, Past Betty.
[She magically changes the date on Past Betty's plane ticket so that it says "today" instead of "next week".]
Past Betty: Hmph.
[The room dissolves into static and then returns with Past Betty preparing to leave for her trip.]
Past Betty: [Speaking on the phone] And don't forget to water my plants. Okay, got to go! My flight leaves in an hour!
[She hangs up, and the room dissipates. There is a pop, and confetti falls from above into the white void.]
Finn: Good job, Betty.
Betty: Thanks, Finn. Sorry I couldn't be more help. I was a little preoccupied.
Jermaine: Oh really?
Finn: Anyway, where's the space thingy? [Chanting] Space thingy! Space thingy!
Jake: Space what-y?
Finn and Jermaine: Jake!
Jake: Hey everybody.
Finn: Hey, long time no see, brudda! [Scratches Jake's head.]
Jake: [Laughs] Hey, what's with the hair, brudda?
Finn: Man, you're lucky you missed it. I had lice crazy-bad! I think I got them from Marceline, who got them from Ice King.
[While Finn is talking, Jermaine, in horror, flashes back to all the times throughout the day where he has touched Finn's head.]
Jake: [Laughs] Nice.
Finn: Anyway, how'd you even get here?
Jermaine: Eugggh! [Drops the hats he is holding.]
Jake: Beats me. I was just eating a sausage on some stupid planet, then all of a sudden there was a beautiful rainbow explosion and a loud noise - sort of like a space telemetry capsule activating. Then here I was, standing next to this Mars door.
[An opening has appeared in the void, and King Man is standing on the other side of it, back in the canyon where they began. King Man blows a party horn as Finn, Jake, Betty, and Jermaine exit the maze.]
King Man: Congratulations, everybody. Now, who's ready for a nice boiled egg?
Finn: Me!
Jake: Me!
Jermaine: Wait a minute. What even happened in there? Where's the telemetry capsule?
King Man: Don't you see, Jermaine? You were inside the capsule all along, learning valuable lessons while you programmed its Jake-extracting telemetry with your minds.
Jermaine: Of course.
King Man: And you, Betty - finally you've learned that most pressing of lessons - that sometimes, for our own good, we must accept the loss of that which we hold most dear.
Betty: [Imitates a buzzer] I've learned that I just got to work even harder to get it back.
King Man: What?!
Betty: Like, did you see Finn in there? He was indomitable!
King Man: Yeah I guess but-
Betty: So as I stared into that endless white void, I came up with a plan.
King Man: A plan?
Betty: For me, to save my Simon, and for you, (we fade to black and an image of GOLB fades into view) to finally pull Margles (GOLB then turns to the viewer as our view accelerates towards its mouth) back from the maw of GOLB.
King Man: [Gulps] Marg-


Episode ends

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