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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Storytelling" from season 2, which aired on November 08, 2010.

Locations
Forest
This transcript is complete and simply requires minor additions.


Transcript[]

[The episode starts out with Finn and Jake inside the Tree Fort.]
Jake: [moaning sickly] Blankie me. Blankie me, Finn!
Finn: I'll get your blanket dude, where is it?
Jake: Right here. [touching the blanket on right side of his bed]
Finn: Why don't you just get it yourself?
Jake: Because I'm sick! [making a shriveled face]
Finn: Poor guy...
[Jake is moaning sickly again. Finn puts the blanket on Jake.]
Jake: Too hot! [pushes the blanket off] URGGH!
Finn: Oh man, Jake, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Jake: Soup me, Finny.
[The scene cuts to another scene where Finn is holding soup for Jake.]
Finn: Soup-flavored cure coming on through. [sniffs and dumps the soup in Jake's mouth. Jake waits a bit, then swallows]
Finn: Do you feel better now?
Jake: Yes. [Jake throws up all the soup, which gets all over Finn] Tell me a story... [Followed by a long pause]
Finn: Once upon a time...
Jake: No! I already heard that story before.
Finn: But you've all ready heard all of my stories before.
Jake: Make me a new one, Finn. A new story.
Finn: Okay... got it! Once upon a time...
Jake: Nooo! [Jake makes puppy eyes while staring at Finn]
Finn: What's the matter?
Jake: I don't want a made-up story. I need a real story.
Finn: Hmm. Now you hang on, my friend. I'll be right back. [goes outside] Okay, world, give me a story for Jake! [looks around] Huh! [he notices a leaf floating in the wind, with a snail riding the leaf. Finn laughs and goes back inside] Jake, Jake! Check it out! This true story is going to totally cure you!
Jake: Oh my gosh! What is it?
Finn: First, the leaf fell off a tree. But wa-w-w-wait.
Jake: Spit it out.
Finn: The snail was on the leaf. The end.
Jake: Oh no, now I feel a thousand times worse. Finn, a story's gotta have excitement, romance... [his eyes turn shiny] ...suspense, [dragging out the word and pulling his eyelids down] and it has to have a happy ending. [sniffs]
Finn: But I don't know how to make that stuff happen!
Jake: That's okay, buddy. Just dig me a hole and -- actually, two holes. One for my guts and one for my face, 'cause when I die, my guts are gonna blow outta my face.
Finn: I am not gonna let that happen, dude.
Jake: Then go get me that story. [pulls out a paper] And make sure it has all the stuff on this list.
Finn: I'll be back as fast as a can. I won't let your guts blow outta your face. [he goes outside runs over a log, and pulls out the list Jake wrote. It is poorly written and says, romance, fight, suspense, and a happy end] Hmm. Romance. That should be easy. [puts list in his pocket and looks around, then looks under a rock, finding two ants underneath]
Finn: Hey, how 'bout you two. Are y'all in love?
Boy ant: La ba ghee na goo da dee da?
Finn: Uh...
Boy ant: La na ghee ga ra la na!
Finn: Umm. [puts rock down, hears squirrels napping, and looks in the tree where they are] Are y'all kissing in there?
Squirrels: Ah! [chattering] [they run into each other and fall down]
Finn: Hmm. Maybe I should smooooth out my approach a bit. ♪Normal guy, forest guy. Just like normal forest guy.♪ [trips over a stick] Whoa! [Stops when he sees a fox and a goose, Boobafina]. Hey, so, uh, yeah... so, yeah, can I, umm... can I watch you guys kissing?
Boobafina: What!?!
Mr. Fox: Uh!
Finn: I just need to for my friend! He's really sick and unless I tell him about watching you guys kissing and...
Boobafina: What a weirdo! You're one sick man, mister...
Mr. Fox: [shakes his head] Yeah, what's this "friend's" [making airquotes] name, huh?
Finn: Jake! His name's Jake.
Mr. Fox: Yeah, right. Sounds pretty fake. C'mon, Boobafina, let's get out of here.
Boobafina: Yeah.
Finn: Wait! I'll do anything! [they look back at Finn]
Mr. Fox: Would you eat dirt?
Finn: I would for Jake! [eats some dirt] Okay, now you guys kiss.
Boobafina: Man, what a freak.
Mr. Fox: Let's go.
Finn: What! No! Jake needs this! Stop! [he grabs them and pushes them together, forcing a kiss] Just come on!
Boobafina: What? No!
Mr. Fox: Ah, wait!!! [against their will, they kiss. Finn stops pushing them and throws them]
Boobafina and Mr. Fox: AUGGH!
Finn: [face reddening] You see, no big deal.
Boobafina: I [coughs] can't believe you made me do that! I'm secretly in love with Mr. Goose, and now he'll never love me because now I'm soiled! [sobs and runs away]
Mr. Fox: Oh no, oh no! I really did want to kiss Boobafina! I'm secretly in love with her!
Finn: Okay, sweet!
Mr. Fox: No, no. It had to happen naturally! Now she'll never love me! [sobs and runs away]
Finn: Ugh! [slaps his forehead] That wasn't smooth, but it's all worth it to save Jake. Whatever it takes. Okay, a good fight... [Finn sees a teenage bear graffitiing a wall and walks up to him] Hey, you want to fight me?
Teenage Bear: Oh heck yeah! I've been waiting for this my whole life! Yes! [laughs]
Momma Bear: Oh, no you don't! [smacks the teenage bear]
Teenage Bear: You never let me do anything! Grr! [he tries to smack his mom, then jumps at Finn, who Finn punches him to the ground]
Momma Bear: You killed him!
Teenage Bear: [wakes up] Mom, quit touching me!
Momma Bear: You killed him and now he's dead!
Finn: [running away] He's probably not dead. I'm sorry though, that you think he's dead. Mmm, I don't want to hurt aminals, but - but Jake - [Finn stops running, looks at the list, and points to suspense] Okay, what's next? [he looks around, sees a flower, a radio, the snail on the leaf and some birds] Ohhhhhhhhhh, suspense... [holding up his fists, he walks up to the birds, picks up a rock and has a thought]
Finn [In Finn's thoughts]: Hey you guys, you wanna die? [the birds get scared and pass out. They fall out of the nest. The mom comes.]
Momma Bird [In Finn's thoughts]: Boys! Boys! Have you seen my boys?
Finn: [really scared] No! [Turns around and throws the rock on the ground which makes the birds fly away. He kicks the rock] Awwwwww, I can't do it! I keep messing with folks, aaaaaaaahh!!! [punches a tree] Jake needs me, but I can't keep messing with folks, but Jake's really sick, but I can't but, but, but, but...uhhh!!! [rubbes his arm] [owl hoots] [someone throws a rock at Finn's head] Oww, hey, who threw -- ahhhhhhhhh!!!! [a whole bunch of animal's attack him] Wait, what's happening, are you guys gonna eat me?!
Momma Bear: You'll see...
Finn: [breathing hard] Hey, wait, this is really suspenseful! [then Finn gets hit in the head with a walking stick from a wizard. Everything turns black. Finn wakes up in a cage on top of a blue swirling hole.]
Finn: What is this?
Forest Wizard: This is the Rite of Forest Justice!
All the animals: Huzzah!
Forest Wizard: Finn the human boy, for your crimes of the inhabitants of the forest... you must enter the earth and become one with the soil...
Finn: Don't I get a trial or something?!
Forest Wizard: No! Lower the cage!
All the animals: Huzzah! [a rabbit begins lowering the cage]
Finn: I'm totes gonna die... and now Jake won't get his story and he'll die too... because I still don't have a happy ending... huh??
All the animals: Oo iggi, boo boo, oo iggi, boo boo, oo iggi, boo boo, oo iggi...
Finn: Wait a minute! I may be busy dying... but you need to get busy living...
All the animals: Huh?
Finn: Y'all living some unhappy lives. You, Boobafina...
Boobafina: [bends down]
Finn: You love Mr. Goose. You just need to tell him.
Mr. Goose: What?
Finn: She loves you... y'all just need to hook it up.
Mr. Goose: I-I've been wanting to date you for years. You really love me?
Boobafina: I do...
Mr. Goose: Oh!
All the other animals: Huzzah!
Finn: And you Mr. Fox, you need to face facts man. Boobafina is not interested. It's time to move on.
Mr. Fox: It's true... it's for the best.
Finn: And hey, jerky teenage bear!
Teenage Bear: What?
Finn: Your mom is right. You shouldn't just go around fighting strangers in the forest.
Momma Bear: Yeah! [smacks him on the head]
Finn: Momma bear, your son's not a baby anymore. You should stop spanking him in the face.
Momma Bear: He's right... It's time to let you grow up...
Finn: Yeah! That's the stuff!
All the animals: Huzzah!
Finn: And Mrs. Cow, take that bag off your udder. You're beautiful, girl. You live in the forest, so why don't you just let it hang out?
[They take the bag off, revealing she has a PHIL FACE on her udder.]
Everyone except Mrs. Cow: Ewwwwwwww!
Mr. Fox: Yo, put that bag back on. [they do so]
All the animals: Huzzah!
Forest Wizard: Silence! Finn the Human, for meddling in our lives and disturbing the order of the forest... [stops making the blue swirl] we thank you.
Finn: What?!
Forest Wizard: [laughs] Our lives have improved since you came here.
Finn: Does that mean you're going to release me?
Forest Wizard: Your cage is made of sticks, brother. Just kick it apart.
Finn: Cool! [He breaks the cage and lands on the ground] Yeah! I'm coming for you, Jake... with a story!!!
[Cuts to Tree Fort]
Jake: And then what happened? [coughs]
Finn: And then everyone in the forest was happy... The end.
Jake: Huuuuuuuuh!!!
Finn: What's wrong?!
Jake: That was... [he stretches his arms and legs and shakes them] perfect! I feel a million times better!
Finn: Really?
Jake: Yeah! The romance stopped my fever... the suspense cured my headache... and everything else cured everything else! I'm not sick, I'm not sick!
Finn: Ha ha! Neat. [coughs and lays his head on his knees]
Jake: [dancing] Finn, c'mon! Dance the health dance with me.
Finn: Nah, I'm good. [sneezes]


Jake: You allergic to my health dance?

 

Finn: [lies down] No, I just feel bad.



Jake: Ohhhh... Finn, did you catch my sick?


Finn:Yeah, I think so...  ​

Jake: Well, I know just how to make you feel better...blankie... [puts a blanket on Finn] ...rubbie... [rubs Finn's head] and best of all, a good story. Once upon a time... ​

Finn: [snoring]
Jake: The end. [turns the lights off]



Episode ends

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