This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Sow, Do You Like Them Apples" from season 6, which aired on October 1, 2015.
Transcript
[The short begins at the dead of night, with Ice King awake in his bed in the Ice Kingdom next to a sleeping Gunter]
Ice King: [stomach grumbles] Aww, fine
[Ice King gets out of bed and walks offscreen]
Gunter: Wenk
[Ice King opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of mustard]
Ice King: Ah, [opening and closing lips] bleh
[Ice King drops the mustard bottle on the floor]
Ice King: [walking over to his telescope] Getting so a man can't even get a decent carb around here, uhh
[Ice King looks through the telescope, panning it around some mountains, and spots a Hawk]
Ice King; Nah, too fast
[Ice King pans the telescope down and spots a rat]
Ice King: Ehh maybe
[The hawk snatches the rat]
Ice King: Oops
[Ice King pans the telescope right past Peppermint Butler, who is dragging a body bag out of a lake, and stops at a vegetable patch]
Ice King: Ughh, veggies nasty [Ice King pans the telescope up to the sky] hmm? [then pans it down to zoom in on pig in a pig pen] ohhh
[Ice King looks away from the telescope with a big goofy smile and starts licking his lips]
Ice King: Mmmhmm
[the screen wipes to reveal Ice King's hands clasped together in the air]
Ice King: Bless Gunter in my beard
[the screen cuts to show Ice King behind the sleeping pig in its pen]
Ice King: And give me a princess soon too ahohoho I deserve it blahmen
[Ice King takes out a knife and fork]
Ice King: Okay, I'll have the ribs please
Ice King: [getting visibly annoyed] I said ribs
Ice King: [yanking on the pig's ear] WAKE UP AND SPIT OUT YOUR BONES
[The pig squeals and runs off]
Ice King: Hey, ugh
[The pig walks over to a corner of the pig pen, glaring at Ice King, before laying down to try to sleep]
[The pig is soon disturbed, opening its eyes as Ice King attempts to eat it by stabbing it with a spoon]
Ice King: almo-
[the pig rolls over]
Ice King: Hey, cough it up
[Ice King grabs the pig's mouth and forces it open]
Ice King: I know there's bacon in there
[the pig squeals and bites down hard on Ice King's nose]
Ice King: [screams and falls over backwards into the fence] Oof
[the pig rips off Ice King's momo and run's away with it]
Ice King: [gasp] Oh you disrespectful bag of meat [shoots ice lightning then pants]
[Ice King jumps onto the pig stomach first but falls over it, soon he starts kneeling and attempts to choke the pig to no avail causing him to fall over the entirely unmoving pig again which then walks away]
Ice King: Rrrrggh [starts crying] Oh I'm so hungry, and filthy, [unintelagable noises]
[the camera cuts to Marceline flying home with her groceries which consist of two bags full of red fruits and vegetables until she hears Ice King's crying and then she starts flying down towards him]
Ice King: [still crying] The famine in my guts compares only to that of my heart
[Marceline floats down so she's above the ground near Ice King]
Marceline: Hey Simon, are you okay?
Ice King: [sniffles] Oh it's you Marceline, it's this darn meat, keeps not letting me eat it
Marceline: [rooting through her groceries] Must be pretty tough
Ice King: How would I know this ham hock here won't
[the pig walks towards Marceline and her groceries]
Ice King: Huh?
Marceline: Sup girl, you want a snacky, [feeds the pig an apple and pets it on the head] was that old Ice King rooting you out, he can be kinda stank sometimes, should we give him a snacky too?
Pig: [oinks yes]
Marceline: [laughs] Don't worry, [feeds the pig another apple and floats over towards Ice King] I got it covered [whistling and throws Ice King an apple]
Ice King: [licks the apple] bleuh [drops the apple]
Pig: [oinking laughing]
Marceline: [laughing] wow, you gotta be nice to your food dude [her fangs become more prominent, eyes turn blue and elliptical, and she puts on her demon voice] like me
[Marceline digs her fangs into the pig causing it to squeal as she sucks out its red]
Marceline: See Simon, we both got something we needed, oh [places an apple in the now grey pig's mouth]
Ice King: [picks up the apple that he dropped on the floor previously] Sup, girl you want a snacky? ehh [kisses the apple] [whispers] alright, now turn into bacon.
[Short ends]