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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Son of Rap Bear" from season 10, which aired on September 17, 2017.

This transcript is complete (needs proofreading)


[The episode opens in the evening at a party on the beach. Flags read "CLAM RAP".]
Neptr: [Begins rapping Clams and Raps]
♪ C-C-C-C-Clam Rap ♪
♪ Juicy like nectar ♪
♪ My name is Neptr ♪
♪ I stay rapping no matter what the weather ♪
♪ I'm by the fire 'cause it's hot like a dryer... ♪
[Finn gets a plate of clams from Crab Princess and goes over to Flame Princess, who is by the bonfire. Neptr continues rapping in the background.]
Finn: Clams and rappin'. Doesn't get any better than this, right, Phoebe?
Flame Princess: It's actually my first Clam Rap.
Finn: [Begins beatboxing and then continues the Clams and Raps song]
♪ Clams, clams ♪
♪ Ate this plate of clams ♪
♪ Utensils weren't provided ♪
♪ So I had to use my hands ♪
♪ I'm gonna be unhappy ♪
♪ If it happens agains ♪
[The other partygoers cheer for Finn.]
Finn: Princess, what you got?
Neptr: Yeah, dump it in, stir it up.
Flame Princess: [Rapping]
♪ I'm like a library book, so check me out ♪
♪ Read my front and back cover so you know what I'm about ♪
♪ I'm straight droolin', spittin' out rhymes ♪
♪ People gather round and they're waiting in lines ♪
♪ I got a lot of combinations of words to throw ♪
♪ To let you know I got glow ♪
♪ I set it 'cause you just don't know ♪
♪ So what now? What's up, what's up, bro? ♪
[Finn and the audience cheers.]
Finn: [Rapping]
♪ You beat me fair and square ♪
♪ 'Cause maybe something's in the air ♪
♪ I'm wearing unlucky shoes, not my favorite pair ♪
[Audience is unimpressed. Most of them exit, talking among themselves, except for a familiar-looking individual with a mustache.]
"Victor Marilyn": Hello there, young lady. I heard you lay down some serious rhymes earlier. [Eats a clam and hands Flame Princess a business card.] My card.
Flame Princess: [Reading] Victor Marilyn? [The card burns up in her hands.]
"Victor Marilyn": I'm a talent scout by trade and, uh... [Eats another clam] and I'd love to book you for a big-time rap battle next week: Rap Fest Aid.
Flame Princess: Whoa. I've never heard of Rap Fest Aid.
Finn: It sure sounds like the big time.
"Victor Marilyn": But before I can book you anywhere, I'm gonna have to have you sign some waivers and release forms. Boilerplate stuff. Don't bother reading it.
Flame Princess: [Cheerfully] Okay. [She signs the papers.]
"Victor Marilyn": [Chuckling] Okay! I'll get this paperwork processed, and we'll be in business. ["Victor's" mustache suddenly pops off, revealing that it was Toronto all along.]
Finn: Toronto!
Toronto: [Laughs] Yes, it's me! And I'm making my move from second banana to top dog. As stated in the contract that you just signed, if you lose Rap Fest Aid, the Fire Kingdom becomes my property.
Flame Princess: [Flaring up] What?!
Finn: Aw, don't worry. Look at this mug. You could out-rap him any day of the week.
Toronto: Oh, you won't be facing me. You'll have to beat the most gifted rapper of our time. Son of Rap Bear! See you in a week. [He exits, waved off by Neptr.]
Finn and Flame Princess: [Together] Son of Rap Bear?
Finn: I wonder if he's any relation to Rap Bear.
[The scene changes to daytime. Finn and Flame Princess approach the Monster where the Party Bears live. It is asleep.]
Flame Princess: Rap Bear lives in there?
Finn: It's surprisingly nice.
[They enter the monster's mouth and find Rap Bear sat at a table, face down in a plate of food. Finn knocks on the doorframe.]
Finn: Knock knock.
Rap Bear: [Looking up] Who's there?
Finn: [Concerned] Rap Bear. What happened?
Rap Bear: [Groans] My son and I were having Sunday dinner. We were lightly rapping back and forth. It turned into a rap battle. He threw out rhyme after rhyme. I couldn't keep up.
Finn: You got beat by your own son? Are his rap powers that much greater than yours?
Rap Bear: Yes. Why are you asking about my son?
Finn: Flame Princess is going up against him one on one in a freestyle battle.
Rap Bear: [Gasps] That kid will take you apart. [Rap Bear wheels himself out from under the table, revealing that he is in a wheelchair and both his legs are missing.] He rapped my legs off.
[Finn and Flame Princess look shocked. The scene changes to the Candy Kingdom in the evening. Finn and Flame Princess approach the Candy Tavern.]
Finn: Rap Bear, Son of Rap Bear's father, said his son, Son of Rap Bear, would be at tonight's open mic.
[They enter. A small audience is watching Son of Rap Bear and a gingerbread man engaging in a rap battle.]
Flame Princess: Dude, let's sit back here.
Gingerbread Rapper: [Rapping]
♪ You're a small bear with fuzzy hair over there ♪
♪ Get away from me, I don't wanna share my air ♪
♪ Doesn't matter where, anywhere, everywhere with you ♪
♪ Chop you in two with my rap kung fu ♪
♪ Are you scared of me? Boo! ♪
Son of Rap Bear: [Rapping]
♪ You're like a cookie who's about to crumble ♪
♪ Your rapping is stale, also you mumble ♪
♪ Did you just make a mistake smellin' like a cake ♪
♪ Who just stumbled into a lyrical rumble? ♪
♪ Your raps causes naps ♪
♪ You look a little frail and you're about to collapse ♪
♪ You'll know you got beat when you hear the people's claps ♪
[The gingerbread man's head is blown off by a rap-induced explosion. The audience cheers for Son of Rap Bear.]
Finn and Flame Princess: [Together] Whoa.
[Son of Rap Bear spots Flame Princess.]
Son of Rap Bear: Look who decided to come out to play. The news on street says you're gonna battle me at Rap Fest Aid. [Rapping]
♪ This is a joke, right? Hear me out. ♪
♪ What are you even gonna rap about? ♪
♪ You've been in a bottle since the age of two. ♪
♪ I got shampoo more worldly than you ♪
♪ I will do laps around your raps ♪
♪ I crush my opponents and collect their caps ♪
♪ If you wanna keep yours on, I suggest you run ♪
♪ People holla at me because I'm number one ♪
[Parts of the tavern explode during the rap. Finn and Flame Princess retreat and exit. The scene changes to the two of them walking at night.]
Flame Princess: Son of Rap Bear is right. I just rap about rapping. I haven't traveled the world or done anything really. Finn! Let's go on some adventures!
Finn: What?
Flame Princess: It would really help me build up some quick life experience.
Finn: I don't know if life is like a test you can cram for.
Flame Princess: This is for my kingdom. I've got to try.
[A montage begins while Flame Princess can be heard rapping the Experience Rap.]
Flame Princess: ♪ Unh. Yo. ♪
♪ Went along with Finn from mission to mission ♪
♪ To win the battle for the Fire Kingdom ♪
♪ Worked at Pizza Sassy 'cause I'm not too classy ♪
♪ Climbed a rock, had to mind the clock, tick tock ♪
♪ I go with Starchy, I hunt ghosts
♪ I blow fire with my saxophone ♪
♪ I'm a submarine teen, ain't nothin' I ain't seen ♪
♪ All around I'm known, I'm the girl on the throne ♪
♪ Givin' back rubs, in the bathtubs, hittin' math clubs ♪
♪ Makin' mad grub to outspit a rap cub ♪
♪ I got solutions to this rap pollution ♪
♪ When I'm done with Son of Rap Bear he's gonna need new shins ♪
♪ Unh, yeah, I'm experienced ♪
♪ Solid like a pebble in aquarium ♪
♪ I drop knowledge like I'm Bubblegum if she was librarian ♪
[Finn, Jake, BMO, and Neptr are listening to Flame Princess' rap in the Tree House.]
Finn: That was good!
Flame Princess: I thought trying new things would make me new and interesting, but I just feel like a hack.
BMO: Maybe there is an interesting thing about you that you just don't realize. Like how Neptr only just found out there is a face on his can, and now he thinks the can is his conjoined twin.
Neptr: I don't expect you to understand the bond I share with my family.
Flame Princess: Family...
[The scene changes. Flame King is sat in his cave, drawing pictures on rocks. He hums cheerfully as he draws a picture of an animal face.]
Flame King: No room for the body. Let's make him swim.
Flame Princess: Knock knock.
Flame King: Is that you, Bun Bun? Aah!
Flame Princess: Hi Dad.
Flame King: You're not here to put me back in lantern jail, are you?
Flame Princess: I guess I wanted to talk.
Flame King: Oh.
Flame Princess: It seems like lot's changed since I last saw you. Maybe we actually have a shot at putting the past behind us and, I don't know, being normal with each other.
Flame King: I know exactly what you're saying. I've totally gotten over being in lantern jail, so we're good.
Flame Princess: Well, I was kind of hoping you could acknowledge hurting me, like-
Flame King: Phoebes, come on. It's better to be thankful for what you have now; an awesome chipmunk dad! ... Uh, I'm gonna put on some music. You're totally welcome to listen, or not. Totally up to you.
Flame Princess: So you won't even apologize?
[Flame King drops an acorn into a nearby tissue box. Three chipmunks appear and one of them begins to rap the Chipmunks Rap. Flame Princess exits angrily.]
Flame King: Ugh. Drama.
[The scene changes to the Wizard Battle Arena, where a crowd has gathered to watch the rap battle.]
Toronto: What's up, Rap Fest Aid?! [Laughs] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the battle for the Fire Kingdom! To my left, we have the Flame Princess.
[Finn, Jake, and Cinnamon Bun are seen cheering for Flame Princess.]
Toronto: And to my right, the reigning champion, Son of Rap Bear!
[A giant baseball cap enters the arena, which explodes to reveal Son of Rap Bear.]
Son of Rap Bear: Yo.
[The audience cheers.]
Toronto: And go, Son of Rap Bear. [Toronto exits]
Son of Rap Bear: [Rapping]
♪ Yo, I'm a word wizard, I'm Son of Rap Bear ♪
♪ But you're a fire hazard, maybe I should be scared ♪
♪ I mean, I do hear you're more dangerous when your temper flares ♪
♪ Do guys even date you or just cook wieners in your hair? ♪
[The audience cheers and parts of the arena blow up.]
Son of Rap Bear: [Rapping]
♪ I guess there was that fire guy that wanted to marry you ♪
♪ Was it Don Jon with the big guns? ♪
♪ Oh, but you're not into macho men, are you? ♪
♪ You like 'em soft and round like cinnamon-flavored buns ♪
[More explosions and cheering.]
Neptr: He's good.
Flame Princess: [Rapping]
♪ I got more rhymes in my hair than you ever will ♪
♪ You better run away like it's a fire drill ♪
♪ You're so lame and stinky, more spark from my pinky ♪
♪ I'm a flaming master, I'm... slinky... hinky...
[Internally] Oh Glob. What am I saying?
Son of Rap Bear: She's choking!
[The audience boos Flame Princess.]
Flame Princess: [Groans]
Flame King: [From the audience] Hi, Phoebe!
Flame Princess: Huh? Dad, you came to see me rap?
Flame King: No, I had no idea you were in this. Isn't that crazy? Don't feel bad about losing, though! He's way out of your league!
Flame Princess: [Raging] Dad! [She calms down] Why the heck did I ever try to talk to you? You only ever cared about things like koalas, and chipmunks, and baby kangaroos. [She begins to rap]
♪ It's actually pretty sad, I mean ♪
♪ I usurped you when I was fourteen ♪
♪ I thought we could be friends, I don't know what I was thinking ♪
♪ I don't need you or anyone 'cause I'm the real Flame King ♪
[The crowd cheers for Flame Princess.]
Flame Princess: And as for Son of Rap Bear...
♪ You're so unoriginal your put your own dad in a wheelchair ♪
♪ Just so you could steal his name and ride on his fame ♪
♪ But without it, you're just a sad kid full of hot air ♪
♪ Y'all can try to bully me and scam me, I don't care ♪
♪ As if being a jerk's gonna make you dummies happy ♪
♪ But my kingdom ain't a commodity, Toronto, it's a part of me ♪
♪ So sorry, you can't take what isn't owned by me... ♪
So take him away. [She points at Son of Rap Bear.]
Finn: Boom.
[The audience cheers for Flame Princess and chants her name.]
Party Bear: I get it! She owned him!
Toronto: [Quickly entering and raising Son of Rap Bear's paw] The winner is Son of Rap Bear!
[The audience ignores him and tramples the two of them to go and lift Flame Princess.]
Son of Rap Bear: [Rapping sadly]
♪ I thought I was the Glob of rap, rivaled by none ♪
♪ But I'm more like bubble wrap 'cause she squashed me for fun ♪
[His legs pop off from the self-own.]
Flame King: [Talking to Bun Bun] She's actually not bad. [Shouting to Flame Princess] Hey, honey! You're actually not bad!
[Flame Princess puts her thumb up and blows a raspberry.]

Episode ends