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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Return to the Nightosphere" from season 4, which aired on April 30, 2012.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode starts with Finn and Jake waking up in a pile of bananas.]
Finn & Jake: [Both scream]
Finn: Oh. Heh heh. What? Where are we?
Jake: I dunno.
Finn: What did we do last night?
Jake: Mayhaps we drank juice of the Elder Toad.
Finn: Eh, I doubt it. Yo, do you see this? We're in a cage! Do you think we, like, did something wrong?
Jake: Yeah, right. When did we ever did wrong actions? Get real. [takes out his cellphone]
Finn: Who ya calling?
Jake: I'm callin' BMO, see if he knows what happened. [mutters] Junk... My new camera phone... Wait, c'mere!
Finn: What?
Jake: I guess I vid-taped a buttload of stuff on here.
Finn: Play it for the clues within.
Jake: Okay, play. [clicks play button on his phone]
[Static on phone]
Finn [on phone]: Did you take it yet?
Jake [on phone]: Recording.
Finn [on phone]: Okay, get a shot of the portal.
[Jake moves the phone to reveal a blue swirling vortex that is apparently a Nightosphere portal]
Finn [on phone]: Gonna go through this biz!
Jake [on phone]: Alright, let's do—[screen goes blank, video ends]
Finn: Oh, no! What?!
Jake: Battery crunked out.
Finn: Dude, do you remember any of that mess?
Jake: No, but I guess we're here on purpose?
Finn: So we opened a portal to somewhere, but where? [walks to the bars on the cage where a jailer demon is standing]
Nightosphere Jailer: The Nightosphere.
Finn & Jake: [both scream] AHHHhhhh...
Nightosphere Jailer: You're in the Nightosphere.
Finn: Are you sure?
Nightosphere Jailer: Uh, yes. You got thrown in jail. Look. [flies up to a light switch and pushes it down, lighting up cages along the walls full of howling demons]
Jake: Look!
Finn: [gasps]
[Scene cuts to a shot of a statue of Marceline's father.]
Finn: Marceline's dad! We really are in the Nightosphere!
Nightosphere Jailer: Up an' at em, people. [opens cages] Eveyone out of your cages. My shift is over, and no one's shown up, so...
Finn: Whoa, wait. You're letting us go?
Nightosphere Jailer: I mean... yeah, but not really. You're in the nightosphere, so...
Finn: So what?
Jake: [holds up cellphone and charger] Is there an outlet somewhere for this?
Nightosphere Jailer: [laughing loudly]
Finn: Hey, c'mon! Just tell us how we can get back to our world.
Nightosphere Jailer: You can't leave the Nightosphere. Not unless he let's you. [points to statue]
Finn & Jake: Marceline's dad.
Nightosphere Jailer: Yeah, that's Hunson Abadeer. He runs this place.
[Scene cuts to a plaque under the statue that says, "HUNSON ABADEER: OUR GREAT LEADER IS WITH US FOR ALL ETERNITY" and a large caterpillar-like demon runs between the statues legs.]
Jake: Hunson Abadeer? [giggles] Alright.
Finn: Well, dude, how do we talk to him?
Nightosphere Jailer: You can't just talk to the boss. You gotta make an appointment.
Finn: Yeah, but we don't even know why we're here!
Jake: [holding up a banana] And what's up with this?
Nightosphere Jailer: Ugh. Oh! Oh, oh, sick! You touched that stuff?!
[Jake looks at the banana questioningly.]
Nightosphere Jailer: Later, fools. [goes away]
[Demons cheer.]
Jake: [trying to get the demons' attention] Hey! Hey! Is there an outlet anywhere? You guys...
Finn: Maybe this is where they put all the dummy demons. [cuddles a caterpillar demon and talks to it in a baby-like voice] Right, big guy? You're not so smart, right? Yeah... [to Jake; normal voice] Let's go out that hole, man.
Jake: Okay, get on.
[Finn climbs on his back, and Jake stretches up through the hole. They climb out and see various scenes of chaos.]
Finn: Mm-hm, mm-hm. Pretty neat.
[A reddish cloud flies overhead and obliterates a mountain with a green ray.]
Finn: Whoa, look!
[Cloud shoots more rays.]
[Scene cuts to a demon kid playing with tiny demons.]
Demon dad: [to his kid] Charlie, don't socialize with the smaller demons! They're dirty and stupid!
[Ray strikes the dad, turning him into a bunch of little demons.]
Charlie: Daddy!
[Cloud shoots a mountain, turning it into a sculpture of Hunson Abadeer's head.]
Finn: What is that?
Jake: I think it's like sentient blood mist.
Finn: Cool.
Jake: C'mon, let's see if anyone knows where Hunson Abadeer is.
Finn: Alright, well, how about that dude? [points to a one-eyed pink demon which is cut open like a cross section so you can see his guts]
Jake: Okay.
Finn: [to the demon and the little demons traveling on him] Yo, bros! How do we talk to Hunson Abadeer?
Half Monster Demon: [telepathically] The teller can help you. Get in my flipping belly, and I will transport you. My insides are habitable. You will not be digested.
[Finn and Jake climb in, and the demon flies them over to a river full of little demons.]
Finn: Bye, mister! [Looks around] Who's the teller? That guy? [He looks toward a birdlike demon in a rowboat rowing on top of the little demons. The Boat Demon bangs one of the small ones with an oar.]
Boat Demon: Okay, bozos, make room, make room, make room!
Small Demon: Ouch! Come on!
Boat Demon: Scooch over, fatty.
Small Demon: I can't, dude. This outbox is packed tighter than my tummy tunnel when I can't make brown on the camping trips because of my anxieties and I have IBS also. [gets hit with oar] Ow!
Finn: Hey, guy, are you the teller?
Boat Demon: No, no, no, this is the line to meet the teller.
Finn: No, man, are you for real? How long's the wait?!
Boat Demon: I dunno. I just like to row around on top of their heads.
Finn: Bunk that!
Jake: [holds up the banana] Hey, do you know about this?
Boat Demon: I... ew, no. [scoffs] Sick.
Finn: Why do we need to see the teller anyway? We just wanna see Hunson Abadeer and find out what happened to us!
Boat Demon: The teller will get you in touch with Hunson Abadeer. We got systems down here. You gotta swim the proper channels, ya know?
Small Demon: Youse ain't special! Youse gotta wait just like the rest of youse... [corrects himself] Us.
Finn: [sighs] Where's the line start?
Boat Demon: Oh... I dunno. The thing sorta governs itself.
[Finn and Jake climb into the river and squeeze in between the demons.]
Finn & Jake: [grimace as they squeeze in] Tight!
[Boat Demon rows over their heads.]
Finn & Jake: Ow!
[Finn moans.]
Jake: [looking at the boat demon] That guy stinks.
Finn: [to a big demon] Excuse me! Excuse me! Big man? Over here!
Big Demon: Huh? What, me?
Finn: Uh, yeah, how long have you been in line for?
Big Demon: How... long? [shudders and starts crying]
Finn: Oh, butt traps. Jake, stretch us to the front.
All demons: NO CUTTING!!!
Big Demon: I will kill you with all my hopes and regrets!
Finn: All right, dudes, chill! We'll wait! [whistles]
[Time card: TWO DAYS LATER]
Finn: I can't feel my legs.
[Time card: FOUR DAYS LATER]
[Finn and Jake are both quietly crying]
Finn: SAY SOMETHING!! Say something to me!!!
Jake: I... can't. I got nothing to say anymore.
Finn: Just make up words then!
Jake: Bloobity bloo bloo blah blee blee blah. Shree shrah...
Jake: Hey, check it out. We're at the front of the line.
Finn & Jake: Woohoo!
Finn: [to the teller] Yo, yo! We wanna talk to Abadeer!
Teller: Wha... Huh? [hands Finn a slip of paper with a number on it] When your thingy comes up, Hunson Abadeer will see you through the door.
Finn: [reading from paper] 42 million?! What's the number on the door?
[The door reads 41,999,999.]
Jake: 41 million... [mutters gibberish] We're next! Whew! Man, I thought I was gonna throw up!
[The number changes to 42 million.]
Finn: That's us!
Jake: Yaaay! [sees that there is another extremely long line] Nooooooo!
Finn: I'm gonna lose it! Waaaaaaaaaaahhh... [he continues screaming like this for quite some time]
Jake: Hey, do you know if there's an outlet anywhere?
Two-headed Demon: No.
Jake: Do you know what this is all about? [holds up banana]
Two-headed Demon: No... gross.
[Finn stops screaming and is lying face down on the ground, exhausted.]
Jake: What's going on, buddy? You givin' up?
Finn: [sighs] I guess.
Jake: You don't wanna just stick it out a little more?
Finn: I don't know if my little boy heart can take it.
Jake: Listen, Finn. Are you listening?
Finn: Mm-hmm.
Jake: Your heart may be small, but it's strong as a bull donk. And I know. You can wait through this line so we can meet Hunson Abadeer and find out why we're here, and why we're in a pile of banianials, 'cause you're a champ, OK?
Finn: [shrugs] Ok.
Jake: 上手で頑張ってね ("Being that you are skilled you can do it!")
Finn: Well, at least I can see the end of the line, I think. Let's wait the heck out of this line!
Jake: That's it, champ. [Finn starts to jog in place] Hehehehe, you're pretty pumped up.
Finn: I'm super pumped!
Cloud: Does anyone need to go pee-pees?
[One demon raises his hand.]
Cloud: Go ahead.
[The demon runs ahead of line.]
Okay, who's here with a question for Mr. Abadeer?
[Finn and Jake raise their hands.]
Finn: Oh, yeah, we've got questions.
[The cloud destroys the demons who raised their hands.]
Jake: [gasps] Put your hand down, Finn!
Finn: No way, dude, I got questions.
[Jake goes away with Finn.]
Finn: What the hey, Jake!
Jake: It's not answering questions, man. That thing is gonna bake our beans.
Finn: [takes out his sword and goes on top of a rock] Hey, bloodmist cloud! What happened to us? Why can't we remember any—? Oh, it's gone.
Jake: [Points to cloud] Look.
[The cloud goes inside a cave]
Jake: Ride me, partner. [Jake acts like a horse]
[Finn and Jake run to the cave.]
Finn: Hey, cloud! Where's Abadeer? Whoa, look at all these paintings. I think this is Hunson Abadeer's house.
[The cloud arrives and reveals he's Abadeer.]
Hunson Abadeer: Hey!
Finn: Hunson Abadeer!
Hunson Abadeer: How dare you chumps trespass here!
Jake: We just wanna go home, man.
Finn: Yeah, why'd you lock us up, Abadeer? When Marceline finds out about this, it's gonna stir up some heavy daddy-daughter issues.
Jake: Ah, come on, man!
[Hunson Abadeer attacks Finn and Jake.]
[Abadeer attacks Finn, but Finn blocks it with his sword. Jake tries to open a door, but Abadeer sees him.]
Hunson Abadeer: Come with me, you juicy, little mortal soul!
[Jake uses his powers to squeeze himself through the keyhole, leaving behind his camera phone and banana. Jake opens the door suddenly, hitting Abadeer.]
Jake: Finn!
[Finn runs through the door, while Jake hits Abadeer with the door again and gets his phone and the banana. Finn and Jake see the portal.]
Finn: Oh, my lob, Jake! You found the portal!
[Abadeer smashes through the door. Finn and Jake scream and run into the portal. Abadeer attacks Finn again, and Jake wraps him up with his arm.]
Jake: We don't want to hurt you, Abadeer. Just let us go.
[Abadeer laughs and throws Jake against the portal wall.]
Jake: [groans]
[Abadeer tries to suck his soul, but Finn stabs him in the head. Black goo starts to squirt out.]
Finn: What the—?
[Marceline emerges from Abadeer's head.]
Finn & Jake: [in unison] MARCELINE?!
Marceline: I'm gonna close this portal. [hisses] You're forbidden to come back to the Nightosphere!
Finn: But Marcy, let us help you!
Marceline: It's too late! Stay away from me, FOREVVVEEERRRR!!!! [the portal closes]
Finn: Marceline's in trouble! We gotta go back and save her.
Jake: Alright, but I'm gonna take a shower first.
[Jake leaves and Finn smells his armpits and the episode ends.]