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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Preboot" from season 8, which aired on November 19, 2016.

Dr. Gross's laboratory
This transcript is incomplete.


One, two, three, go!


Look what treasuresthe low tide has revealed.

Oh, Glob, my door.

I don't know.

This place is kind ofa bust, man.

We're investigatingearly human culture.

We'll probably find all kindsof cursed artifacts.

Hmm, it has been a while sinceI had a good hex put on me.

Oh, yeah, pretty spooky.

[ Snake hisses ]Someone could definitelyget cursed in here,

and I hope it's me!

Susan: Look.

Art facts.

Whoa. It's the bonesof a prehistoric horse.

They were totally coveredin feathers,

and they used their polesto sting people

who triedto steal their honey.

Horse honey?Pshh!

You said there'd be hexesand sup‐‐

[ Squeak! ]A demon!

Oh, nah.It's just a little cutie.

[ Grunts ]Huh?

The dino plushis cursed.

Come to me, angry demons!

Teach me a dark lesson.

I thinkit's an ooo‐quake!

‐Run!‐[ Laughs ]



[ Spooky music plays ]

Hey, bozos, it's me.



I thought you got ateby the worm queen.

Come with me, and I'll explainalmost everything.

Woman:Welcome, new flesh.

Pretty nice, huh?

I mean, I came straightfrom a worm queen's intestines,

so I'm biased.

I was like a crazedvermilion crab

limping alongthe sea floor.

How'd you getthat sick bionic arm?

Oh, this old thing?It was a gift from the doctor.

The doctor?

Later, Jake.Later.

‐But how did you ‐‐‐Cyber shush, Finn!

Wait for the reveal.

Well, I think bionic armsare cool, don't you, Susan?


[ Robotic buzzing ]

Dang, you speak robot?

Hey,stay with the tour!

[ Robotic buzzing ]

Woman:Unlocking sequence confirmed.

How'd you do that?

So what?I've been here loads of times.

Whoa! Look at all thesedang beakers!

Woman: Please keep outof restricted area.

[ Robotic buzzing ]


[ Heart beating ]

Clearance confirmed.

Hmm?Oh, my.

Just ‐‐just one second.

How wonderfulto meet you all.

I'm Dr. Gross.

Dr. Gross?That's a funny name.

Ha! It is.

What a treat to meeta perceptive young man.

Hey, Dr. G, can you writea prescription for my bro,

'cause his cheeksare pretty red.

Such a splendid displayof male camaraderie.

Dr. Gross, what do you get upto in this totally cool place?

I'm so glad you asked.

♪ Evolution'sa natural process ♪

♪ But it's not exactlythe fastest ♪

♪ You can reach your potential ♪

♪ With just a little help ♪

♪ Get some light surgery ♪

♪ Shake off the anesthesiaand you'll see ♪

♪ That science has made youmore special ♪

♪ With just a little help ♪

♪ Step into my menagerie ♪

♪ One look at my laband you'll see ♪

♪ The opposite of extinction ♪

♪ Nature leveled up ♪


Wow, these dude's lookmad advanced.

They're mash‐ups, bro.

♪ A shark that breathes airand likes to eat cheese ♪

[ Gasps ]

♪ A really fast chickwith wasp wings ♪


♪ An electric eelpowered by wind ♪

♪ When it's dark,that eel's ideal ♪

♪ And one of my best hybrids ♪

♪ A guy that knowswhat time it is ♪

[ Clock chiming ]


This zoo's amazing.

You got any normal animalslike hummingbirds or bats?

This isn't a zoo,zoo nerd.

It's a menagerie.‐That's quite all right.

We don't have any non‐hybridanimals here, Finn.

And even if we did,they'd probably die...

of envy.

[ Laughter ]

[ Tapping on glass ]

What's this guy's deal?

That's a scorp‐munk.

[ Chuckles ]Look at you go, girl.

Hmm, it's almost like he'strying to tell me something.Sweet granny!

Look at the hour, and so manymore wonderful thingsstill to do.

Hope we're goingto the snack room.


I did my warning danceand everything.

This is the wonderfuland amazing examination room.

Did you hear that, Susan?

The imagination room.

Please take a seat.

You've all beensuch super guests, so...

lollipops for everyone!


But Finn told Susan not to takecandy from strangers.

A stranger's just a friend youhaven't taken candy from yet.

Well said. So, eat them quick,and let's get this show started.

You're going to show me ifyou're right for my "process."

Just got to get more"comfortable" first.

Uh, I liked it betterwhen you were singing songs.

Oh, yeah,that feels better.

Sometimes I just got to get outof this hot STIM suit.

It's so stuffy.‐You're human?!

I thought I was the last one.

Well, me and Martin.And Betty.

And sometimes Ice King?

Yeah, and I still havequestions about Susan.

Actually, human plus.

[ Whirring ]


Humans have relied on modsfor thousands of years.

Glasses to let us see better,

artificial heartsto replace bum tickers,

and the next logical step ‐‐

scissor handsand telescopic spider legs.

And the longer you work for me,the more mods you'll earn.

It's likean incentive program.

It's a great program.

Cool, huh?

Sure, mods are cool,

but check outmy stretching powers, Dr. G.

100% natchy.

[ Squeak, thwack ]


I can't movemy limbs/torso!

Dr. Gross, help!


Susan's stuck, too.

Oh, you put the paralyzingjuice in the candy.

My boss is so smart.

Yes, yes.Now, let's get to work.



They got the high enduranceof a sea lard combined with

the bloodthirsty killerinstincts of a sea lard.

Is this still partof the tour?

What are you doing,Dr. Gross?

They used to ask me that allthe time back at the island.

"What are you doing,Dr. Gross?

You'll never get awaywith this."

Lady, you are sick!

[ Scoffs ]

None of you normies knowwhat you want.

So it's up to meand my hybrid army to drag

all the other humansinto a golden age.

Wait, other humans?

There are more humans?!

Let's get you prepped.

[ Razor buzzing ]

My style!

Let's see what kind of melonyou got going here.

Oh, you've already gotan implant.

Looks deactivated, though.


You're one of ‐‐

[ Grunts ]

Susan, what's happening?

I missed that whole exchange!

But I dosed the candy.

Susan trickedall y'all.

Hey,let go of my buddies!

[ Honk! ]

She's getting away!

No biggie, Tiffany.

My petswill bring them back.

[ Pinging ]


[ Growls ]

[ Shrieks ]

[ Roars ]

[ Hisses ]

Fetch 'em up.

Susan: This way.

Right, left.

Dang, Susan, did youmemorize the layout?

Susan just know somehow.

[ Roaring ]

Susan will protect you!


Good job, Tiff.

Now let's get you scamps backto the operating table.

We'll never work for you,you monster!

I don't get it.

Don't you guys wantto hang out with me?

Oh, it's okay, Tiffany.

We'll just use themfor spare parts!

You can't do that,boss.

I've got a blood‐brotherconnection to Jake.

And to a muchlesser extent, Finn.

Don't you worry.

Tomorrow, I'll splice youa new dog boy.


[ Thinking ] Crisis ‐‐another critical life juncture

in the ongoing sagathat is Tiffany.

Tiffany, now!


Susan: Huh?

Woman: Coolant leak.

Cascade failure imminent.

You are gonna getsuch a write‐up.

Get out of here!Don't worry about me!


Aren't you curiousabout how I know you?

Woman:In three, two, one, dive.


Tiffany will be okay, man.

[ Explosion ]

Tiffany willprobably be okay, man.

[ Screeching ]Oh, shmow.

Looks like someof the hybrids busted out.

Hey, scorp‐munk!

I hope nothingtoo big got loose.

[ Roars ]

Likethat giant electro eel.

Headed straight towardsthe Candy Kingdom.

[ Eel roars ]