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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Normal Man" from season 8, which aired on May 12, 2016.

Locations
Tree Fort
Mars
This transcript is complete, but needs more action would be better.


Transcript[]

[Normal Man is looking up at the night sky and talking on a walkie-talkie.]
Normal Man: Hey, how's it going up there? Have you made visual confirmation with Glob?
Tiny Manticore: [over radio] Shut... you... This is freaking har—!
Normal Man: Come again? You're breaking up. Make sure you tell Glob it's me who sent you. Tell him we're coming for Grod, Grob, and Gob, also! I believe in you, little guy!
Tiny Manticore: You can keep your little guys in your—aarrgh! What the freak am I doing?!
[Tiny Manticore is shown flying up into space wearing a respirator.]
Normal Man: Come again?
Tiny Manticore: Nothing. Never mind. [gasps] Oh, crud. There... he... is!
Glob: Who's that? Dark off.
[A beam of light shines down at Tiny Manticore and reaches Earth.]
Normal Man: Whoa!
Tiny Manticore: I... got... you! [grabs Glob]
Glob: Uh-oh, don't pass out, man. Hey, wake up. Hey.
Tiny Manticore: What?
Normal Man: [watching through telescope] Pull up! Pull up!
Tiny Manticore: Oh, right. [laughs] I did it! I have your brother, Magic Man!
Normal Man: It's "Normal Man" now.
Tiny Manticore: Yes... powerless... Normal Man.
Normal Man: Bring him here, Tiny!
Tiny Manticore: No.
Normal Man: Wh—Wh—Huh? What is this?
Tiny Manticore: It's a classic double-cross, bozo!
Glob: Brother, tell this animal to put me back in space.
Tiny Manticore: You messed with me for years! Now it's my turn to mess with you! [laughs]
[scene changes to the Tree House.]
Finn: Hey, Jake. You need help with demma Eggs Benedict inna demma hollandaise sauce?
Jake: [looking out the window] Get over here, dude.
Finn: Yo, no dogs on the table. Shoo! Get down, boy! [looking out the window]Whatcha see, boy? Show daddy.
Jake: I do see something, but you're making it weird.
Finn: Sorry bro. What's going on.
Jake: [pointing] Look.
Finn: Whoa. Hey, you! scram![Normal Man is shown sitting on Finn and Jake's doorstep eating brownies.]
Jake: [yelling] Yeah, beat it Magic Man!
Normal Man: Oh, hey.
[Finn and Jake throw a cooking pan at his head. Normal Man is knocked unconscious.]

 

Jake: Got him!
Finn: [Looks unsure.] Uhh.. is he dead?
Jake: Nah, he's magic.
Finn: Dude, he lost his powers, remember?
Jake: Oh, right. [a fly lands on Normal Man's face.] Uh-oh.
[Normal Man slaps it off.]
Finn and Jake: Phew!
Finn: Come on. Let's bring him inside, you murderler.
[Normal Man is sleeping. Finn puts a sock under his nose. He wakes up.]
Normal Man: Finn and Jake! I need your help!
Finn: Why would we help you, Magic Man?
Normal Man: It's Normal Man, and it's not helping me. It's helping my brother, Glob.
Finn: [confused] Whaaaaaa?


Finn and Jake and Normal Man are walking up Trap Mountain


Normal Man: That's where Tiny Manticore took Glob -- to the very top of Wild Trap Mountain.
Tiny Manticore: Come on, fool! Come on. Get spanked!
Normal Man: Tiny always liked you guys.
Jake: That's because we freed him from your sick nightmare house.
Normal Man: Maybe he'll listen to you and not hurt Glob. This could be my chance to make things right between us, go back to Mars and run things how we used to, before I threw everyone under the bus.
Finn: Like when you made them all go bald or something?


[Norman Man's flashback starts]
Glob: Magic Man, stop this nonsense immediately.
King of Mars: Aah! Magic Man! As soon as I break these magic bonds, you're going straight to Ooo on that bus, you hear me?!
Magic Man: Magic Man! Have some of these bangers, why don't ya? Bang! [laughs]
King of Mars: What's that? Oh, no! Aah!
Magic Man: Just a few more laps and I'll break the jerk world record.
[Norman Man's flashback ends]


Normal Man: You know what, guys? I'll just go up there and let Tiny margle me off a cliff. It'll be good for Glob to see his trash brother eat it finally.
Jake: What do you think about that?
Finn: No. Glob's your brother, and brothers always care about each other, even if one of them is a terrible deuce breakfast like you. So let's stretch up this thing and talk it out with Tiny.
Normal Man: WAIT! It's called Wild Trap Mountain for a reason. Look. Normal-size manticores. Carnivore plants. Camouflage rock beasts. Mind-control parasites. Archer bandits that'll shoot you straight out of the sky. This one quiet dude nobody messes with. A dragon ghost. Red ants. Weekend survivalists. Waking dream demons. That squirrel that hates you, Jake.
Jake: Who?
Finn: We get it. We got to stealth it up there.
Normal Man: Oh, ouch, my knees.
Finn: Shh!


Luke: [Luke yawns]Hey, Jonah.
Jonah: Hey, Luke. What's going on today?
Luke: Freaking nothing yet.
Jonah: I know. I just want to kill and eat someone already.
Jake: Phew! Well, we got past those guys.
Finn: Easy greasy. You doing okay, Normal Man?
Normal Man­: Easy grea‐‐
Finn­: What?
Jake­: [Jake is seen being half-eaten by a carnivore plant]Aah!
Squirrel­: I know that voice!
[Jake struggles himself free from the beak of a carnivore plant]
Finn­: Charge!
Camouflage Rock Beast­: Surprise, you're dead![Normal Man throw a carnivore plant at the camouflage rock beast as it struggles and fell down the mountain]
Finn­: Go, go,go, go, go, go!
Jake­: Finn?
Normal Man: Parasite!
[Jake flickers off the parasite off Finn’]
Finn­: What the heck?
Jake­: To the top! Wait! [ Jake steps in front of Normal Man and Finn, stretching himself to shield them as the archer bandits fire at them. He yelps in pain, as he blow out, firing the arrows on his body at the bandits ] Almost there!
Normal Man­: [As the trio runs by the one quiet dude nobody messes with]Don't bother that guy.
[The trio screams as they pass by a ghost dragon]
Normal Man : Wow. [Normal Man recoils as a red ant bites on his neck] Ouch! Freakin' red ants!
Red Ant­: Get off my mountain!
A weekend survivalist­: [On the ground, being attacked by a waking dream demon] Aah, my dreams! I'm having daymares!
Jake­: There's the top!
Squirrel­: [As the Squirrel jumps out from a tree] Jake! It's me!
Jake­: Who?
[The squirrel attacks Jake]
Jake­: My eyes! Sorry.
Normal Man­: [As he climbs up to the top of the mountain]Ahh! Tiny Manticore! Please! Don't hurt my brother!
Glob: This guy is really freaking me out.
Tiny Manticore­: Yes! Hello, Normal Man. Come and greet the dawning of your grimmest day! How ironic that you, who once trapped me, are now about to royally bite it. You stand at the mercy of my boomerang and flamethrower!
Normal Man ­: I know I really messed you up, but Glob has nothing to do with this. Kill me instead. I'll let you do it.
Tiny Manticore­: Why do you sound so insincere?
Normal Man ­: That's just my voice.
[Finn and Jake now climbs on the top of the mountain]
Finn­: Normal Man's telling the truth.
Jake­: Yeah!
Tiny Manticore­: Finn and Jake? I respect you guys a ton, but I have trained for this vengeance for months! I must seize this sparkling moment full in grasping hand! [Tiny Manticore­ flings the boomerang] Boomerang!
Normal Man: What's even a boomerang? [The boomerang flies back and hit Jake]Oh, my gosh. I've been calling them something different my whole life.
Tiny Manticore­­: I'm sorry, Jake! I'm just doing me right now. We're still cool, though?
Finn: Not no more!
Jake: Kick his tiny butt.
Normal Man: Aah!
[Finn and Normal Man runs toward Tiny Manticore­ as they triggers traps]
Normal Man: Gah! I hate this mountain.
Finn­: Boomerang! [Finn was looking behind him at the boomerang that missed them] Watch out for when it [A second one hits him in the back of the head]‐‐Oof.
Tiny Manticore­­: Two boomerangs! Could it be? My moment approacheth? Steady hand, steady heart.
Glob: Look out, dude.
Tiny Manticore­­: Whoa! Can I just have this?
[Normal Man leaps on Glob and Tiny Manticore­, sending the three off the edge of the mountain unsteadily]
Finn: [Finn recovers from being knocked out, and sees the three’s situation]Uh‐oh. Hang on like hot snot, Normal Man!
Normal Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Tiny Manticore­­: Let go! We're going to fall. I'm not very big. I ‐‐ Uh...Okay. Upon reassessment, this is actually a great situation for me!
Tiny Manticore­­: [As he undoes the cloth holding Glob] Farewell, Magic Man! By my hand, I soar free!
[Normal Man yelps as he and Glob falls down]
Finn­: [Observing from the top of the mountain] Boy‐yay‐moy! Jake!
Jake­: [As he recovers from being knocked out] What? I'm coming! I got to save the dude.
[Jake unsteadily tries to transform into a propeller plane, making sputter noises. But is unsuccessful and falls down quickly]
Finn­: No planes! Never planes!
Normal Man: Glob, are you okay?
Glob: Why did you rescue me?
Normal Man: I wanted to bring you back to Mars. They need a ruler up there, and I wanted to apologize for being such a beanshow for hundreds of years.
Glob: Whoa. What? Maybe you really have changed.
Tiny Manticore­: Yeah, right! I'm following to watch you die.
Glob: You know what, though, Magic Man? I've been doing a lot of thinking up in orbit. I shouldn't have shut you out when you got exiled to Ooo. In some ways, I, too, was a total beanshow.
Normal Man: I guess neither of us were perfect brothers.
Glob: Although you were much, much worse.
Normal Man: So, what now? Are we straight up just going to die?
Normal Man: I guess so. Sorry.
[ Tiny Manticore­ watches Normal Man holds Glob closer. Scene switches to LSP and Lemongrab on a picnic cloth]
LSP­: So, your profile said you were into music. That's crazy, so am I!
Lemongrab: It's stressing me out that there's food on a blanket! [Gets up and leaves]I have to go home. This was nice. You're running away from intimacy! You don't know you'd get hurt!
[Tiny Manticore­ swoops down to save Normal Man and Glob the last second, knocking Lemongrab]
Normal Man: Tiny? What are you doing?
Tiny Manticore­ ­: I could not go through with my vengeance. It wouldn't have accomplished anything. Also, you and your brother are really sweet together.
Normal Man: You're hard to track. But okay!
[Scene switches to Finn and Jake, now at the mountainside]
Finm­: We'll get down ourselves, guys. Don't even sweat it!
Tiny Manticore­­: [Now at Normal Man’s house, with the Normal Man and Glob] But, yeah, let's hang out sometime. I'm getting a phone soon.
Normal Man: Bye! Ready to go home?
[Normal Man and Glob steps on the teleporter, as it teleports them back to Mars]
(Gob, Grob, or Grod)­: Whoa, dang.
Normal Man: Oh, the people of Mars are gonna be so glad to see you. It really feels good to be good, you know? Maybe that's my new catchphrase. I don't know. Is that dumb?
Glob: It's a good catchphrase. You'll do okay up there. [Glob bites Normal Man’s fingers, causing him to let go, making Glob to drift away]
Normal Man: Ahh! Glob, what are you doing?!
Glob: My days of ruling Mars are over, but you got this, man.
Normal Man: All right. Well...
Gob­: Oh, my Gob. Where were you?
Glob: I was with Normal Man. He's cool now.
Gob­: Whaaaaa?I don't believe it.
[Scene changes to the arena on Mars, where the Martians were in ruins]
Normal Man: Hey, guys. I'm back.
Martians, in union: Magic Man!
[The Martians start panicking and turn towards King of Mars’ throne]
Martian 1­: Oh! He came back!
Martian 2: Oh, I can't believe it!
Normal Man: It's okay. Calm down.
Martian 3, who is a giant starfish­: Calm down?! You turned me into a giant starfish!
Martian 4, who is a flaming garbage­: You turned me into a barrel of flaming garbage!
Martian 3­: What horrible trick do you have planned now?
Normal Man: I don't really do tricks anymore. Hmm. Okay. Here's a trick. [Normal Man picks up a hat nearby on the ground, likely King of Mars’ ]It's a hat but inside it are... brownies!
Martian 4­: I want to eat those brownies.
Normal Man: It's a start.
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