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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Min and Marty" from season 8, which aired on February 1, 2017[1].

Characters
Unavailable
Music
None
Locations
Unavailable
This transcript is incomplete.


Transcript[]

Susan? I mean, Kara?

Seems like you're leading us somewhere.


We're taking a ship to Founders Island,

because judging by the state of these facilities...

...Hub Island has been abandoned for over a decade.

Dang, I missed big words.

This island is where I trained to be a Seeker.

So, wait, why are we going to Founders Island?

I'm taking you back to your mom.

BMO, would you talk to this console?

I can‘t access it without my implant.

Um...you knew my mom?

You're gonna just drop that?!

Her name is Minerva.

— She's a Helper. —[Ding]

Oh, thanks, BMO.


Now let's try and start this sucker.

[Horn honks]

What's happening? Are we being arrested?

Don't worry, ladies. I'll get you to your senior swim class.

TOGETHER: Thank you, Dr. Minnie.

— Oh! — Whoa!

[Gasps]

[Tires screech]

[Muffled voice] Hey, it‘s not a crosswalk, ya know!

It's —— It's not a... [Groans]

MAN: The end.

You have been listening to ”Wizards Way. "

So I hear you guys wanna do some explorin"?

Canteens. Cool.

So what do you got for me?

Credits? I don't take credits.

I want gadgets.

See this gum? It used to be a book on tape.

Gadgets.

Hmm.

[Whirring]

[Gasps coughs]

Hey, not bad.

I'll take it.

Get down to Basket Beach,

and I'll meet you at the boat in 30 minutes.

-[Beep] — Hey, there.

Uh, you got a couple of Hiders headed for Basket Beach.

You're welcome. Bye.

Yah!

You startled me. [Laughs]

We understand that you can get us past the Seekers.

Yeah, but you just missed today's boat.

We understand that you like gadgets?

I do like them.

[Click]

Hello. Hello. Hello.

I don't like it. I love it!

Tell ya what, get yourself down to Basket Beach ASAP.

You're not coming with us?

Once I determine you haven't been followed,

I will join you at the boat.

We insist you join us now.

Let's go to the beach.

DR. GROSS: Bring back those Hiders, y’all!

[Alarm blaring]

Aah!

What do you got for me, Kara?

A sad ol' Hider with two busted legs.

Oh, I love busted legs!

[Groans]

When will he be at full health?

Tomorrow morning.

Okay, I'll have a transport here in the morning

to shuttle him to re—ed.

Re—education.

Oh, you're awake.

We set both your legs. They were broken.

Other than that, you only have psychological problems.

Well, I could've told you that.

— You don't look like a Hider. — I'm not.

It was a wrong place, wrong time type of deal.

It's true! I love it here!

So. . .white hat.

— You're a Helper, huh? — Yes.

I think that fella's still alive.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Very funny.

If I don't see you before tomorrow, enjoy re—education.

— You're Ieavin? — I have things to do.

What am I gonna look at when you leave?

Leave some flowers or somethin'!

These are in the trash?

— I think someone died. — Oh, that's great!

You're trying to escape?

No! I'm ——

Wrong place, wrong time?

No, no. I have to, uh...

— [crunch] — Aah!

Aah!

— [Clank] — Uhh!

Aah!

This is kind of a setback.

But nothing a good night's sleep can't fix.

You're not sleeping tonight. You've got a serious concussion.

— And I'm not sleeping tonight... — [Click]

...because apparently you need a babysitter.

— I'm not a baby. — Okay.

Aah!

Keep those elevated.

I have to figure out a new lineup for the JV curling team.

You wanna sign my cast?

Which one?

[Chuckles] You're all right, Doc.

Hey, you know I'm not going to re—ed tomorrow, right?

Oh, yeah?

I'll tell 'em this was just a misunderstanding,

and then I'll glide out the front door a free man.

Free to have dinner...with you?

If you wanted to.

I mean, I—I want to.

So what are you, a con artist or something?

Yeah, you make it sound so glamorous.

How about me? How would you con me?

I wouldn't con you. I wanna have dinner with you.

[Laughs]

Okay, but if you had to, how would you do it?

Um, okay, you like helping people, right?

So I'd get you to feel sorry for me.

I'd act real pitiful.

I don't think that would work.

I mean, you're number one at number two, after all.

—[Laughing] —[Laughs]

You saw my underwear! You're —— [Laughs]

MINERVA: Oh! — MARTIN: You're all right, Doc.

[Pounding on door]

SEEKER: Open up!

Sure thing. Just a ——

Give me a boost, Doc!

[Door clanks]

Oh, uh, hello, Dr. Campbell.

Prepare for re—education, Mertens!

You got the wrong man, fella.

I've been helping beefcakes like you catch Hiders for months.

We know you've been playing both sides.

You think that's not hurtful?

Uh—oh. That was kind of my only plan.

[Sobbing]

You finally ran out of quarters, didn't you, Marty?

[Sobbing]

Poor little Marty!

[Sobbing continues]

MINERVA: Hold up, guys!

Hey, I'm so sorry about this,

but I was completing checkout forms for Mr. Mertens,

and it turns out he's medically unfit for re—ed.

He's got a rare condition called garbage body.

Uh, that sounds completely fake

coming from anybody but you, Dr. Campbell!

[Laughs]

See you at the Fun Run!

That was breathtaking con work, Doc.

So you gonna buy me dinner or what?

I I heard that you loved me I

I But only for two weeks I

I To be hopeless or not to be I

I I'm weak with indecision I

I Could we begin again I

I On a terrible date I

I It would be greatly appreciated by me I

I I'll wear my normal shoes this time I

I Then maybe you'd like me I

I Better in the sunlight I

I If I built a raft I

I Will you stay with me then I

I And fall in love all over again? I

MINERVA: Oh, I'm so late!

[Cooing]

I'll be home by 7:00. Mwah!

Hey, can you run a load of laundry?

You got it.

Should I order us something for ——

Veggie thali and a mango Iassi!

[Tires screech]

[Crickets chirp]

[Laughs] Yeah, that's Mr. Bear.

Pretty interesting guy, huh?

Where the heck is Mommy's Indian food, huh?

[Laughs] Hey, look what you got.

That's one of my old gadgets, the breadstick wand.

—[Crying] —[Running footsteps]

— That must be the grub. —[Growls]

End of the line, Mertens!

We're here for vengeance!

— [Chirps] — Ha!

I Hot breadsticks is what we bake I

I We don't bake pie and we don't bake cake I

— I Breadsticks... I — You pathetic man.

Uhh!

Don't worry. Daddy's got a raft stashed around here somewhere.

—[Door opens] — MINERVA: Hey, guys!

—[Light switch clicks] — I'm ready for that thali ——

Martin?

Finn!

[Growls]

Mertens!

Phew!

Let's give Mom a text.

Yeah, I guess we'll just circle around the island and see if ——

[Thunder crashes]

—[Crying] Freaking Back to Nature Island!

Let's —— Let's just wait out the storm, and then...

Aah! The Guardian!

No, I'm not trying to leave!

—[Crying] — Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Don't worry. Daddy's always got a plan.

[Lights clank]

— Finn, I'll be back for you. -[Ding]

Here comes the rascal!

Oop! Wait, wait. Wait! Uh—oh.

Aah!

- [Thud] - Uhh!

[Glass shatters]

—[Beeping] — Hello. Hello.

Hello.

I Hot breadsticks is what we bake I

I We don't bake pie and we don't bake cake I

I can't believe that of all the hundreds that have tried,

the gallbag that finally makes it past the Guardian

is Martin Mertens!

[Voice breaks] I don't understand.

[Whirring]

— [Thud] — Aaayyy!

[Whirring]

Hey.

Oh. Hey, what's up?

Nothing. Ijust haven't said anything in a while.

This party is so crazy!

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