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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Min & Marty" from season 8, which aired on January 31, 2017.

This transcript is complete, needs formatting.


Susan? I mean, Kara?

Seems like you're leading us somewhere.

We're taking a ship to Founders Island,

because judging by the stateof these facilities,

Hub Island has been abandonedfor over a decade.

Dang, I missed big words.

This island is where I trainedto be a Seeker.

So, wait, why are we goingto Founders Island?

I'm taking you backto your mom.

BMO, would you talkto this console?

I can't access itwithout my implant. knew my mom?

You're gonna just drop that?!

Her name is Minerva.

She's a Helper.

[ Ding ]Oh, thanks, BMO.

Now let's tryand start this sucker.

[ Horn honks ]

What's happening?Are we being arrested?

Don't worry, ladies. I'll getyou to your senior swim class.

Women: Thank you, Dr. Minnie.


[ Gasps ]

[ Tires screech ]


[ Muffled voice ] Hey,it's not a crosswalk, ya know!

It's ‐‐ it's not a...[ Groans ]


Man: The end.

You have been listeningto "Wizards Way."

So I hear you guys wanna dosome explorin'?

Canteens. Cool.

So what do got for me?

Credits?I don't take credits.

I want gadgets.

See this gum?It used to be a book on tape.



[ Whirring ]

[ Gasps, coughs ]

Hey, not bad.

I'll take it.

Get down to Basket Beach,

and I'll meet you at the boatin 30 minutes.

[ Beep ]Hey there.

Uh, you got a couple Hidersheaded for Basket Beach.

You're welcome. Bye.


You startled me.[ Laughs ]

We understand that you canget us past the Seekers.

Yeah, but you just missedtoday's boat.

We understandthat you like gadgets?

I do like them.

[ Click ]

Automated voice:Hello. Hello. Hello.

I don't like it...I love it!

Tell ya what, get yourself downto Basket Beach, ASAP.

You're not coming with us?

Once I determineyou haven't been followed,

I will join you at the boat.

We insist you join us now.

Let's go to the beach.

Dr. Gross: Bring backthose Hiders, y'all!

[ Alarm blaring ]


What do you got for me,Kara?

A sad ol' Hiderwith two busted legs.

Oh, I love busted legs!

[ Groans ]

When will he beat full health?

Tomorrow morning.

Okay, I'll have a transporthere in the morning

to shuttle him to re‐ed.


Oh, you're awake.

We set both your legs.They were broken.

Other than that, you only havepsychological problems.

Well, I could'vetold you that.

You don't look like a Hider.I'm not.

It was a wrong place,wrong time type of deal.

It's true!I love it here!

So...white hat.

You're a Helper, huh?Yes.

I think that fella'sstill alive.

Hello. Hello. Hello...

Very funny.

If I don't see you beforetomorrow, enjoy re‐education.

You're leavin'?I have things to do.

What am I gonna look atwhen you leave?

Leave some flowersor somethin'!

These are in the trash?

I think someone died.Oh, that's great!

You're trying to escape?

No! I'm ‐‐

Wrong place, wrong time?

No, no. I have to, uh...

[ Crunch ]Aah!


[ Clank ]Uhh!


This is kind of a setback.

But nothinga good night's sleep can't fix.

You're not sleeping tonight.You've got a serious concussion.

And I'm not sleeping tonight...[ Click ]

because apparently you needa babysitter.

I'm not a baby.Okay.


Keep those elevated.

I have to figure out a newlineup for the JV curling team.

You wanna sign my cast?

Which one?

[ Chuckles ]You're all right, Doc.

Hey, you know I'm not goingto re‐ed tomorrow, right?

Oh, yeah?

I'll tell 'em this wasjust a misunderstanding,

and then I'll glide outthe front door a free man.

Free to have dinner...with you?

If you wanted to...

I mean, I‐I want to.

So what are you,a con artist or something?

Yeah, you make it soundso glamorous.

How about me?How would you con me?

I wouldn't con you.I wanna have dinner with you.

[ Laughs ]

Okay, but if you had to,how would you do it?

Um, okay, You likehelping people, right?

So I'd get youto feel sorry for me.

I'd act real pitiful.

I don't thinkthat would work.

I mean you're number oneat number two after all.

[ Laughing ][ Laughs ]You saw my underwear!

You're... [ Laughs ]Oh!

You're all right, Doc.

[ Pounding on door ]

Open up!

Sure thing. Just a...

Gimme a boost, Doc!

[ Metal door clanks ]

Oh, uh, hello, Dr. Campbell.

Prepare for re‐education,Mertens!

You gotthe wrong man, fella.

I've been helping beefcakes likeyou catch Hiders for months.

We know you've been playingboth sides.

You think that's not hurtful?

Uh‐oh. That was kind ofmy only plan.

[ Sobbing ]

Ya finally ran out of quarters,didn't ya, Marty?

Poor little Marty!

[ Continues sobbing ]

Hold up, guys!

Hey, I'm so sorryabout this,

but I was completingcheckout forms for Mr. Mertens,

and it turns outhe's medically unfit for re‐ed.

He's got a rare conditioncalled garbage body.

Uh, that sounds completely fake

coming from anybody but you,Dr. Campbell!

[ Laughs ]

See you at the Fun Run!

That was breathtakingcon work, Doc.

So you gonna buy me dinneror what?

♪ I heard that you loved me ♪

♪ But only for two weeks ♪

♪ To be hopeless or not to be ♪

♪ I'm weak with indecision ♪

♪ Could we begin again ♪

♪ On a terrible date ♪

♪ It would begreatly appreciated by me ♪

♪ I'll wear my normal shoesthis time ♪

♪ Then maybe you'd like me ♪

♪ Better in the sunlight ♪

♪ If I built a raft ♪

♪ Will you stay with me then ♪

♪ And fall in loveall over again? ♪

Oh, I'm so late!

[ Cooing ]

I'll be home by 7:00.Mwah!

Hey, can you run a loadof laundry?

You got it.

Should I order ussomething for ‐‐

Veggie thaliand a mango lassi!

[ Tires peal ]

[ Crickets chirp ]

[ Laughs ]Yeah, that's Mr. Bear.

Pretty interesting guy,huh?

Where the heck isMommy's Indian food, huh?

[ Laughs ]Hey, look what you got.

That's one of my old gadgets ‐‐the breadstick wand.

[ Crying ][ Running footsteps ]

That must be the grub.[ Growls ]

End of the line, Mertens!

We're here for vengeance!

[ Chirps ]Ha!

♪ Hot breadsticks iswhat we bake ♪

♪ We don't bake pieand we don't bake cake ♪

♪ Breadsticks bustlingdown the line ♪You pathetic man.


Don't worry. Daddy's got a raftstashed around here somewhere.

[ Door opens ]Hey, guys!

[ Light switch clicks ]I'm ready for that thali...



[ Growls ]



Let's give Mom a text.

Yeah, I guess we'll just circlearound the island and see if ‐‐

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Wailing ]Freaking Back to Nature Island!

Let's ‐‐ let's just wait outthe storm, and then...

Aah! The Guardian!

No, I'm not trying to leave!

[ Wails ]Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Don't worry.Daddy's always got a plan.

[ Lights clank ]

Finn, I'll be back for you.[ Ding ]


Here comes the rascal!

Oop! Wait, wait. Wait! Uh‐oh.


[ Thud ]Uhh!

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Beeping ]Hello. Hello.



♪ Hot breadsticks is whatwe bake ♪

♪ We don't bake pieand we don't bake cake ♪

I can't believe that of allthe hundreds that have tried,

the gallbag that finallymakes it past the Guardian

is Martin Mertens!

[ Voice breaks ]I don't understand.

[ Whirring ]

[ Thud ]Aaayyy!

[ Whirring ]


Oh. Hey, what's up?

Nothing. I just haven't saidanything in a while.

[ Growls ]

[ Dolphins chatter ]