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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "May I Come In?" from season 7, which aired on November 18, 2015.

Locations
Forest
Gumbald's Cabin
This transcript is incomplete.


Transcript

[Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, Finn, and Jake are following the trail of glowing orbs left by The Moon. Princess Bubblegum is using a Geiger counter-like device and getting feedback.]
Princess Bubblegum: Mm-hmm. Six and 19...
Finn: One vampire—[stomps on orb and blows a raspberry], two vampire—[stomps on orb and blows a raspberry]. Jake, check me out—I'm a self-sufficient mountain man. [eats orb]
Jake: No! [slaps orb out of Finn's mouth] Don't put that biz in your mouth, man! They could be booby-trapped or poisoned or—
Marceline: Whoa, chill, Jake. These pearls were dropped by The Moon. Her main power is accelerated healing. It'll be like fighting a cutting board.
Jake: Hmm. Okay. Anyways, we should try to find her before—[Finn pushes a pearl against Jake's cheek] No! [pushes it away]
[He and Finn tussle, shoving the pearl into each other's face.]
Marceline: [laughs]
Princess Bubblegum: See, Marcy? Isn't vampire hunting better with friends?
Marceline: Yeah, I guess. I'm just glad Simon is okay.
Jake: Anyway... [dusts himself off] I don't care how easy this vamp's supposed to be. We should hole up somewhere before the sun goes down—It's down. Great.
Princess Bubblegum: Yup. Let's get going. [uses Geiger counter] My vampire thingy is indicating high levels of vampire junk in... [points] this direction. Come on!
[The gang follows Princess Bubblegum's lead. A nearby bush rustles and Crunchy emerges, out of breath. He gasps as King of Ooo, riding a horse and wielding a bow and arrow, jumps out of the bush after him and knocks him on his backside.]
King of Ooo: Ha-ha!
Crunchy: Stop, please!
King of Ooo: Don't be such a nerd, Crunchy. [draws back cotton-tipped arrow] Hunting is the most royal of sports. The people expect it of their princess-king.
Crunchy: I don't think that's tr— [arrow hits him] Ow! [runs away] Aah!
King of Ooo: [clicks tongue] After him, Haydancy!
King of Ooo: Come on, Crunchy, it's dark. Let me tie you up.
King of Ooo: Aha! Good growling, Crunchy.
King of Ooo: All right, that's a bit much.
King of Ooo: Whoa, girl! Oof! Ugh!
Crunchy: Oh, no stop! Shush up! Huh? Oh!
Crunchy: It's it's okay. Animals can't climb trees. That's what separates us from them.
King of Ooo: Ha! Dumb, lowly animals.
King of Ooo: No! No, no, no, no, no!
Hierophant: Marceline Where is she?
King of Ooo: Oh, boy! I-I wish I knew! No love lost there, am I right?
Hierophant: Tell me everything.
King of Ooo: Okay, okay! I grew up poor dirt poor. The other kids called me Lil' Bubbles because we couldn't afford a bathtub. Sure, I try to act the way wealthy peeps are suppos
Hierophant: Shut up! Tell me where to find Marceline!
King of Ooo: Yeah, sure! Well, she hangs out with that Princess Bubblegum. You know her? Well, she has a nice little cabin by the, uh I'll draw you a map! Crunchy, do you have a pen? Tell me you have a pen.
Crunchy: Oh. Huh. Oh, this darn zipper Oh, brother.
Hierophant: May I come in?
Gumbald's Cabin: Aah! Ah ha ha! You're one of those old fashioned revenants, aren't you? You can't come in unless I invite you in! What do you think would even happen if you just walked in here, huh? You're so dumb, you sad old relic. How 'bout some garlic?
Hierophant: Hmm.
Gumbald's Cabin: You dumb vampire!
Hierophant: Ah.
Gumbald's Cabin: Wait! Don't go that way! Oh! Look! I'm out of the house! Come back! Come back! Back, back, back, back! He's not coming back.
Princess Bubblegum: [PB a vamp is runin 2wards U] [Im sorry my bad] [-\_("3)_/-] [good X] Yo, guys? Pep says we got an incoming vamp.
Jake: What?!
Finn: Is it "The Moon"?
Marceline: Doubt it. She's more of a hide-and-seek type.
Jake: So what's the plan for this chump? Given that he can see in the dark probably and could come from anywhere at any time and suck the flesh off our bones!
Finn: They could ambush us like right n Ahh!
Lumpy Space Princess: I feel refreshed! Are y'all hunting wabbits?
Finn: Man! I can't believe they just Left me here. All unarmed and tethered like this. Boy, my neck sure is hot. This baby needs to get some air.
Lumpy Space Princess: Let's do it.
The Hierophant: Back off!
Finn: What are you gonna turn into next, A puppy, a baby goose?! I'm a Pbht! Vampire! Pbht!
The Hierophant: Ah!
Marceline: Hierophant!
Finn: Pbht.
Jake: Green light.
The Hierophant: Ugh! Geez, aren't you cold up here? Don't people wear coats anymore? I've got a propo Oof!
Marceline: Oh! Surprise.
The Hierophant: Marceline, wait! Marceline!
Finn: Jake, gather up all the stakes you can find.
Jake: On it!
Lumpy Space Princess: Hey, Finn, catch!
Finn: Yes! Toots! Where'd he go?
Lumpy Space Princess: Finn, heads up! Finn, I'm helping! How about this? Use one of these stakes!
Finn: L.S.P., stop!
Jake: Finn, I got one!
Finn and Jake: Oof!
Lumpy Space Princess: What?!
Princess Bubblegum: Finn!
Hierophant: What is with all this tacky plastic rubbish?!
Finn: We'll never let you get to her!
Hierophant: Oh! You dunderheads! I can't even deal with all this modern nonsense! The rest of you, beat it!
Jake: My blood, man! I love my blood. [PS vamp plays by old timey rulez, cant enter house etc. HTH]
Jake: Get in me!
Hierophant: Ohh! May I come in?
Jake: Nop.
Hierophant: Grr! "Grr"? Let me in!
Jake: Not gonna happen, man! Eek!
Hierophant: What sort of creature are you?
Jake: Uh, I'm a magic dog with magic blood!
Finn: I've got gallons and gallons of warm red teenage blood, and you can't have it! Pbht! Eh, yeah? Yeah! Open up a murder-hole, buddy!
Hierophant: Oh! Marceline, listen to me. You will never defeat The Vampire King. You can't even defeat me in your current state.
Marceline: All right. What do you want?
Hierophant: The truth is, I hate the king as much as you do. He's a total dink. I came looking for you because I want to team up. Then you started tempting me with boy blood
Lumpy Space Princess: Hey.
Hierophant: and hurling spiky purple gobs at me. Here's the dope You need me.
Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah, okay, girl, you got this.
Hierophant: I don't know how it finally happened, but he must have let you beat him. Am I right?
Marceline: Ugh! All right, say we do work together. You need to give up drinking blood.
Hierophant: I'm a vampire! Drinking blood is kind of the main thing.
Marceline: And you can drink red just as easy.
Hierophant: Hmm.
Marceline: No hurting poor, scared, blood-filled animals.
Hierophant: Well, then, I suppose I have no choice. I'm just going to waste you And eat that kid, because that's what an old-school vampire does!
Crunchy: I don't want to play anymore!
Hierophant: No! I wasn't invited! No!
Finn: Geez. What happened?
Marceline: Dude was too old fashioned for his own good. He just couldn't get with the times.
Crunchy: Y'all see that? I killed a vampire.
King of Ooo: Aah, great! My plan worked!
Marceline: Ugh. I don't feel so hot.
King of Ooo: Bye-bye!
Princess Bubblegum: Marceline! Oh, no.
Jake: Uh, guys, I'm not feeling that great eith Ugh!


Episode ends

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