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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Marceline's Closet" from season 3, which aired on December 12, 2011.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode begins with Finn and Jake walking in Marceline's cave. Finn is holding a balloon, and Jake is holding his viola.]
Finn: Do you think it's right for Marceline to invite us to jam without Princess and BMO?
Jake: It's just a jam sesh. Is that what you're gonna jam with?
Finn: Yeah, man. Balloon music is the future. Listen. [He starts rubbing his balloon and demonstrates balloon music by rapping the Extremities Song.]
Jake: Pretty good. [They continue walking and come up to Marceline's house.] I don't think you mastered it yet.
Finn: Well, duh. I just started.
Jake: Oh, dude. There's a note.
Finn: What's it say?
Jake: [Reading note on Marceline's door] "Hey, guys, I had to run out, but I'll be back," blee-bloo-blop, "Don't go in my house."
Finn: That's it?
Jake: Yeah. Just "Don't go in my house" in all caps... written in blood.
Finn: Hmm. [Finn rubs his balloon and sits down; Jake also sits down and closes his eyes.] What are you doing?
Jake: Eliminating desire from my heart. It helps pass the time.
Finn: Come on! I can't do that! Let's play Cloud Hunt 'til she gets here.
Jake: No, man, I got a mental block with Cloud Hunt!
Finn: Yeah, that's what makes it awesome, 'cause I know I'll win.
Jake: Oh, what?! Bring it on, brother! Now explain the rules 'cause I forget.
Finn: Okay. I count to ten and you go hide somewhere. Then, I gotta try to find you. You can hide... anywhere in here. Anywhere in here, ...but Marcy's house is off limits because she said so. Okay?
Jake: Got it.
Finn: Okay. I'm gonna start counting. Ready?
Jake: [Glances at Marceline's house] Yes.
Finn: Go! One... [Jake runs towards Marceline's house.] Two... Three... Four... Five... Four...
[While Finn is counting, Jake goes through Marceline's dog-door. Finn then recites the poem that goes with Cloud Hunt.]
Finn: Cloud Hunt... GOTCHA! Huh. Hmm. [Checks under porch] AH-HA! [Finds nothing and goes on porch; spots Jake] JAKE! [Jake starts mirroring Finn.] Get out of there! Marceline's gonna kill you! Jake! I know this isn't a mirror. What the—?! You're doing it wrong, even! Get out! Get out!! [Finn goes inside. Jake spots him and continues mirroring him.] Dude, get out of there! She's gonna kill us! She'll be home any minute! Did you read the note?! I mean, you read the note! You told it to me!! [Gasps and tackles Jake]
[Marceline appears. Jake and Finn go upstairs before she can spot them.]
Marceline: [sniffs] Smells like sourdough in here.
[Cuts to upstairs in Marceline's bedroom; Finn and Jake hide in her closet]
Jake: She's gonna kill us. Once she finds out she's gonna tie us up and eat us like a spider.
Finn: You don't think I know that?! Hmmmmmmm... We'll wait for the right moment and sneak out... right under her big, fat caboose.
Jake: Okay, man. I can do this. [Begins pumping his fist] Egh! Egh! Egh!!
Finn: Shh, here she comes!
[Marceline pokes her head through her floor door.]
Jake: Here she comes...
Finn: Shh, shh!!
[Marceline sniffs around. She turns the lights on and sniffs again.]
Marceline: Huh.
[She goes to the bathroom to urinate.]
Jake: Let's get outta here.
[Finn attempts to open the closet door; it creaks.]
Marceline: Hello?
[Marceline flushes and comes out of the bathroom.]
Jake: She didn't wash hands!
Marceline: Is someone here?
Finn: [To Jake] Shh!!
[Marceline sniffs; Finn and Jake get distressed. Eventually she sniffs her armpit.]
Marceline: That's what stinks. [Finn and Jake look relieved.] Where are those dweebs? [Dials cell phone; it begins to ring.]
[The scene cuts to Finn and Jake's Tree Fort where their phone is ringing.]
Finn [on voicemail]: This is Jake!
Jake [on voicemail]: And this is Finn!
[They both begin to laugh on the voicemail; scene cuts back to Marceline's bedroom.]
Finn & Jake [on voicemail]: We're not home right now, so... [They laugh some more. Finn and Jake begin snickering in the closet.] ...leave a message! [Marceline notices sounds from her closet; Finn and Jake [in the closet] quiet down.] Leave a message! [Tone sounds.]
Marceline: Uh... Yeah, hey, you guys. Are you still coming over? It's jam time, so, like, call me, 'kay?
[She hangs up, then picks her nose; Finn and Jake are disgusted. She flicks the booger in the closet and it hits Jake. Finn and Jake look at each other for a moment. Suddenly Finn looks like he got an idea. He goes through Marceline's clothing looking for something. Finn and Jake whisper.]
Jake: Whatcha doin'?
Finn: [Kneels down holding a piece of paper and a pencil] Get down. [Uses Jake's back as a writing platform. When Finn finishes writing, the note reads, "MARCY, PLEASE COME TO THE TREEHOUSE—IT'S AN AMERGENCY! [sic] Love, FINN + JAKE"] When she gets this, she'll leave and we can escape!
Jake: Brilliant... but how's it gonna work?
Finn: I'll fly the paper as an airplane down the bedroom ladder. It'll triple barrel roll past the kitchen, open the fridge, and cook some eggs, then eat the eggs, and unfold itself as it lays in the carpet in front of Marceline's door!
Jake: Yeah, yeah, awesome, yeah!!
[Finn throws the paper airplane. It almost lands in the waste bin, but it goes down the bedroom ladder instead, and goes into the kitchen. It opens the fridge, and grabs three eggs; it drops two, turns the oven on and cooks the one. It grabs a fork and pushes the frying pan off the oven. It flies upstairs and finally lands in the waste bin.]
Jake: No, nah, nuts!
[Marceline is laying on her bed staring at the ceiling.]
Marceline: Welp... they're not gonna show up, then I'll just work on my own stuff, I guess. [Plays bass and activates recording equipment.] Take one for new concept album based on five hundred years of my journal entries. So here's some preliminary notes. [sighing] I... I wanna make this the most emotional album ever. So private and secret, that I'll never let anyone hear.
Jake: [Whispering to Finn] This is so wrong.
Marceline: No one can ever hear it. Ever. Take one.
[She opens her notebook. A drumset plays in the background. Marceline begins singing the Journal Song.]
Jake: [Making a hole in the wall with a spoon] We've crossed the line! I'm gettin' outta here, man!
Finn: Yeah! Do it!
[Jake breaks through, shrinks down, and tries to escape, but a spider scares him. He runs in the opposite direction and jumps on Finn. The spider hisses and Finn and Jake climb up to avoid it. Jake takes a shoe box lid and pushes the spider out of the closet. Marceline is still singing. The spider crawls up to a table lamp.]
Finn: What? What's it doing?!
[The spider begins pushing the lamp. Finn and Jake gasp. The spider pushes the lamp off the table, shattering it.]
Finn & Jake: Shh, shh, shh!!
Marceline: Oh, what?! What happened?! Ugh! [She glares at the closet with a scowl, and the duo shrinks back. She hisses, and the duo scrambles around frantically. She opens the closet door.] Where are you?! Oh, there you are... My broom.
[Finn and Jake are shown hiding in a coat. Finn gives Jake a thumbs up. Marceline tries to clean up the mess, but has trouble getting a big piece of the lamp in the dust pan.]
Marceline: [sighs] [muttering to herself] Stupid... thing— Get... [exasperated] NO! Stupid— [kicks the piece] UGH!! [exasperated noise] [She throws the broom in the closet and ends up dirtying herself.] Ugh!
[She floats over to her bathroom again and turns on her bathtub faucet.]
Finn: Is it safe?
Jake: I dunno, man. Go scope the scene.
[Finn gives a thumbs up and drops out of the coat. He crawls to the bathroom. Suddenly, Marceline enters pulling her sock off [viewed only from the legs down], and Finn blushes. He retreats back to the closet and gets back in the coat.]
Jake: What happened, man?
Finn: [Talking quickly] I'm not goin' back out there.
Jake: Well... whaddaya mean? What happened? [Finn stares blankly.] Bro?
[Marceline comes out of the bathroom [fully clothed] blow-drying her hair. She yawns, turns off the lights, and floats over her bed to go to sleep. Finn and Jake sneak out of the closet. The spider lands on Finn's face and he tosses it onto Jake. The spider bites Jake; Jake mouths a scream and tears roll out of his eyes. They both continue to the bedroom ladder.]
Finn: Is she awake?
Jake: Why are you talking?!
Finn: I'm wondering if she's awake.
Jake: Well, if she's awake, she can definitely hear you talking!
Finn: I'm whispering.
Jake: Well, now we're both quietly screaming.
Marceline: [Awake] I can hear both of you.
Finn [Whispering still]:  Disguise yourself, fool!
[Marceline turns on the light and observes Jake shape shifted into Finn and Finn with a lampshade over his head.]
Marceline: What're you bozos doing in my lair?
Jake: Dude, I think she sees us!
Finn: What the—?! DUDE! You shape-changed to look like me?! [Throws the lampshade at Jake]
Jake: Well, yeah!
Marceline: HEY! [Hissing] Exssssplain yourselves.
Finn: [sighing] We were playing hide-and-seek in your closet and you came home, so we hid in there all day. We saw... everything. And, oh, Glob, I mean, whatever you do to us, I just wanna say, we're sorry.
Jake: So sorry.
Marceline: [Not seeing anything wrong] Okay... apology accepted.
Jake: What?!
Marceline: I hide in your house all the time.
[Finn and Jake stare at each other. Cut to the outside of Marceline's house.]
Marceline: Anyways, no hard feelings, guys! See you soon!
[The scene goes back to Finn's and Jake's bedroom in the Tree Fort. Finn is reading on his bed. He scratches near his left buttock and sniffs his hand. Finn hears hooting and blushes.]
Finn: Marceline? [covers himself] Jake! Jake!
[Jake stops showering.]
Jake: Hmm? [He covers himself with a towel even though he was already wearing one. He goes to the bedroom.] Hey, man, did—
[Camera pans up to the roof of the Tree Fort. It is revealed that Marceline was the one hooting. She hoots once more, and the episode ends.]