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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Incendium" from season 3, which aired on February 13, 2012.

This transcript is complete.


[At the top of the Tree Fort, Finn watching, Jake eating a watermelon and Princess Bubblegum showing her latest invention.]
Princess Bubblegum: And so, through my experiments with cloud-seeding, I've invented... liquid pyrotechnics.
[Fireworks burst, splashing Finn with multi-colored liquid.]
Jake: That's really cool, PB!
Princess Bubblegum: Aw, thanks, puppy. [Draws Jake onto her lap.]
Jake: Isn't it cool, Finn?
[Princess Bubblegum looks at Finn]
Finn: [Stammering] Owwww-guh...
Princess Bubblegum: [Giggles]
[Finn makes an attempt to put his head on her lap, but she pushes him away]
Princess Bubblegum: Uh, Finn. No. Come on, Finn, don't be weird. Look, I'll see you guys later.
[The pyrotechnics bring rain clouds and thunder as Princess Bubblegum leaves]
[Finn becomes heart-broken as rain begins to fall]
Finn: Huh? Oh. [Finn and Jake run inside the Tree Fort away from the rain]
[Later, inside the house]
Jake: It's letting up. Hey, Finn, come on, let's go do something.
Finn: [Sighing]
Jake: [WhispersBMO, put on a game.
[BMO turns on a game and Finn begins to sing a song seemingly to its tune: "All Gummed Up Inside"]
Finn: [Sighs dejectedly]
Jake: Oh, Finn.... Uncle Jakey's gonna find you a new love interest.
[Jake walks out and wears a pair of boots and a backpack.]
Jake: Finn, I'm going out for a quick.... walk in the woods.
Finn: [Makes a pained noise]
Jake: BMO, you look after him with your camera-eyes.
BMO: If anyone tries to hurt Finn, I will kill them.
Jake: Ok, good.
[Jake goes down the ladder, then leaves the Tree Fort.]
[Jake sings the "Lady Song" while walking above the trees.]
Flambo: [Screams]
Jake: Woman!
[Flambo is covering under the wash tub and is under attack by Iron Owls.]
Jake: I'll save you, wash tub princess!
Flambo: [Still screaming]
[Jake kicks the Iron Owls and saves Flambo.]
Jake: You're safe now, Miss... Flambo?!
Flambo: Yeah, it's me. [chuckles] Bet you thought I was dame on account of my girlish screamin'.
Jake: I did think that. [Throws the wash tub]
Flambo: Haha, well. Thanks, anyway, brother.
Jake: Hey.... You're pretty plugged-in, Flambo. Do you know any princesses Finn's age?
Flambo: Oh, yeah. I know just the skirt, ...and she's way hot!
[Scene cuts to the Fire Kingdom]
[Lava Man walking]
Jake: She's from Fire Kingdom? I think I'll die if I go in there.
Flambo: Heh, oh yeah.
[Flambo casting the Flame Shield; chants and also creates a series of runic symbols. He spits on Jake once the spell is cast, but that was apparently just to spit on him.]
Jake: Ow...
Flambo: There, I cast Flame Shield on yous. Also I spat on yous.
Jake: [Angered grunt] BMO-cam on.
Finn [on BMO's camera]: Gold-darn you, tear ducts! Yah! Yah! [punches himself in the eyes.]
Jake: Ugh... Hang in there, buddy.
[After a pack fire wolves pass by the two Fire Guards, the door opens and Jake and Flambo enter the castle.]
Jake: [Gasps]
[Flame Princess looks at the two visitors. The camera zooms out quickly to show the entire throne room.]
Jake: [Jake scratches his stomach] Yo! What up? I'm Jake, Jake the [Flambo hits Jake in the gut] Dooug.
Flambo: [Whispers] Dude, you gotta pretend like you're of royal blood.
Jake: Could have told me this sooner.
Flambo: Haha! Yeah.
[Jake and Flambo walks closer to the Flame King.]
Jake: Good morrow, Majesty! [Exclaims] I am Sir Jake, Baron of the Grasslands!
Flame King: Hmmmmm.... What do you seek? Speak! [Points left hand at Jake.]
Jake: [Terrified] Uhk-uhg... I come as an envoy of Prince Finn.
Flame King: A prince?!
Flame People: [Chattering] A prince! Finn is a prince! Yeah, a prince!
Jake: Yeah and he's the same age as your daughter. [Points left hand at Flame Princess.]
Flame Princess: Oooh...
Flame King: Bold words, but know you that my daughter is a rare jewel. She cannot be wooed by just any ragamuffin prince!
Jake: Umm.... Oh, Prince Finn is AWESOME!
Flame People: [Chattering] An awesome prince?! That's the best kind!
Flame King: Silence, my molten mommas. [Walks closer to Jake] We are perplexed. If you are a baron true, where is your gift? 'Tis common practice among visiting dignitaries.
Flame People: [Chattering] Yeah, a gift! Where is the gift?!
Flambo: [Whispers] You're blowin' it, bromite.
Jake: [Smiles] A gift?! Sire, Prince Finn sent, uh... three gifts! [Shows to hands how many gifts he brought and claps.]
Flambo: [Surprised] What?!
Flame King: Hmmmm.... Three is more than one.
Flame People: [Chattering] Wait a second, three's a lot of gifts! I want three gifts!
Flame Princess: [Interested] Oooh...
Jake: The first gift is [looks inside the backpack] um-um-um this water bottle.
[Shakes the bottle and accidentally slips from the hand, consequently hitting the Flame Jester] Whoap!
Flame Jester: [Dances like an idiot.] [Groans]
Flame Princess: [Gasps and scowls]
Flame King: Prince Finn has smoked my jester! Pourquoi?! ("Why?!") ...I do hate my jester.
Jake: Uh, Prince Finn hated him too.
Flame Princess: Hmmm...
Jake: For your second gift, a, uh... hmmmm oh!
[Sees a Fire Musician playing a Fire Guitar] A serenade, [Takes the Fire Guitar] that Finn wrote for m'lady.
[Jake plays the Fire Guitar and begins to sing a song: "All Warmed Up Inside"]
Flame Princess: [Applauds and sighs with admiration]
Flame King: A fire inside my body?! I am disgusted! Give me your third terrible gift and be on your way!
Jake: [Jake then checks on Finn with BMO's camera.] Oh, Finn, I'm so sorry!
Finn: [Lets out crying huffs] BMO, go away! [Turns around]
BMO: [BMO performs a Kancho prank on Finn.] Whoooop.... Duck, Duck, Duck, Goose!
Finn [on BMO's camera]: [Yelps]
Flame King: Is that him? He looks terrible! Why isn't he here? Why did he send his buffoon?! Leave now, buffoon, for you have failed!
Jake: No, wait! Uh-um, [Exclaims] Prince Finn is here! [Stretches his stomach to look like Finn.] He's riiight... here!
Jake [Fake Finn]: Greetings, Flame King! My final gift is your favorite thing in the world.
Flame King: A koala bear?
Jake [Fake Finn]: Uh, yes!
Jake: [Sounds of concentration]
[Then appeared a koala bear inside a box made from Jake's stretchy powers.]
Jake [Koala]: Eucalyptus! Eucalyptus!
Flame King: I don't like koalas anymore. Begone!
[Flame King shifts out of his armor as a flame and goes up.]
Jake [Fake Finn]: [Begins to cry]
Jake: Dude, don't cry.
Jake [Fake Finn]: Can't help it! I'm in love with Bubblegum!
Jake: She's too old for you.
Jake [Fake Finn]: [Grabs Jake with both hands on both of Jake's shoulders] I don't care!
Jake: Come on! Flame Princess seems into you.
Jake [Fake Finn]: No, no, no! Only Bubblegum!
[Jake rubs Fake Finn to cheer him up, then Fake Finn bites Jake's left arm.]
Jake: Ouw, Finn! [Fake Finn strangles Jake] Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn stop man....
Jake [Fake Finn]: Ahh-ahh!
Jake: [Choking] Fiiiinn. [Then plays dead and inhales]
Flame King: Excellent!
Jake [Fake Finn]: Huh?!
Flame King: You have indeed proven yourself! Any prince ruthless enough to kill his own buffoon would make an excellent boyfriend...
Jake: [Whispers] Yeah!
Flame King: ... for my evil daughter!
Jake: Whaaaat?!
Flame King: She's an unstoppable force of destruction. Ahhhh, nothing a psycho like you can't handle. Congratulations!
[Flame King pulls the lever releasing Flame Princess and his body evaporates and his armor starts to float up returning immediately to his throne.]
[The lamp opens and Flame Princess quickly gets out.]
Flame Princess: I'm so happy! I'm so happy to meet you, Prince. You're my Prince. [Flame Princess embraces Fake Finn.]
Flame People: [Chattering] That's sweet. That's so sweet.
Jake: [Whispers] She seems normal.
Flame People: [Chattering] Yeah, she seems normal.
Flame Princess: Stop whispering! [Flame Princess transforms to her enraged form and turns the other citizens of the Fire Kingdom into flambits.]
Flambo: Hey, so that's where I came from.
[Flame Princess returns to her normal humanoid form.]
Jake [Fake Finn]: You know, on second thought, ...we're not really each other's types.
Flame Princess: We're... what?
Jake [Fake Finn]: I changed my mind. I don't like you.
Flame Princess: You... WHAT?! [Flame Princess transforms again to her enraged form.]
Jake [Fake Finn]: [Terrified] Uh, nothing. [Jake uses Fake Finn to pick himself up] Bye, Flambo. [Runs for his life]
[Fire Castle erupts]
[Later, Jake runs above ground and is near the Tree Fort.]
Jake: [Panting]
[Flame Princess is gaining on Jake]
[Jake pushes the door and quickly closes it behind him.]
Jake: Finn! I really messed up.
[Tree Fort shakes and the fire starts spreading.]
Jake: Finn, buddy, you gotta help me. I made a mistake.
[Fire closing in and Jake and BMO start running.]
Jake: [Screaming]
[The flames start burning the two pictures of Princess Bubblegum.]
Finn: Who lit that fire?! I'll kill you!
[Tree Fort shakes again and Flame Princess appears climbing the Tree Fort outside the window.]
Finn: [Kicks the window, shattering it] Yaaah! [Finn goes out of the window]
[Flame Princess reaches the top of the Tree Fort and Princess Bubblegum's liquid fireworks are near to her flames.]
Finn: [To himself] Bubblegum's rockets! [Yelling at Flame Princess] Don't you touch her stuff!!!
[Flame Princess accidentally ignites the rest of Princess Bubblegum's liquid fireworks and the drops from the fireworks hit Flame Princess, dousing out her flames.]
Flame Princess: [Screams of pain]
[Flame Princess is reduced to her normal humanoid form, which surprises Finn.]
Finn: It's a girl.
[Flame Princess is still weakening, briefly passes out and begins to fall. Finn puts Princess Bubblegum's lock of hair on the side of the Tree Fort near the window he broke and catches Flame Princess in his arms.]
[Finn then goes inside the Tree Fort]
Flame Princess: You! What's wrong with me, huh?! You don't like me?!
Finn: [Contrary tone] I like you!
[Flame Princess blushes for a few moments]
Flame Princess: What's wrong with you?!
[Flame Princess slaps Finn, leaving a hand-shaped burn mark on his face]
Flame Princess: Don't ever mess with me again!
[Flame Princess shoots out the window in a trail of fire]
Finn: [Looks at Jake] Who was that?
Jake: [Still terrified] The Princess of the Fire Kingdom?
Finn: [Looks out the window, then back at Jake] Dude, I think I have a crush.

Episode ends