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Adventure Time Wiki

This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Heat Signature" from season 2, which aired on May 9, 2011.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode opens with Finn and Jake standing on an abandoned highway. Jake stretches himself and Finn down, and they enter a cave.]
Finn: Man, I still can't believe Marceline is 1,000 years old and has never seen Heat Signature. This movie is gonna blow their minds.
[Marceline opens the door.]
Finn: Marceline! We brought Heat Signature.
Marceline: Woot! Woot!
Jake: Woo!
[Finn and Jake enter the house. A trio of ghosts float in the living room.]
Marceline: Hey, so I want you all to meet Finn and Jake. They aren't... completely lame.
Finn: Whatup?
Marceline: Guys, this is Wendy...
Wendy: Hey.
Marceline: Booboo...
Booboo: Hello. Hello.
Marceline: ...and Georgy.
Georgy: Hey.
Marceline: We used to be in a gang together back in the underworld.
Finn: Hmm. Yeah, that's pretty sweet. Hope y'all like getting your minds blown, cause it's showtime.
[Finn and Jake jump backwards onto the couch, and find out that it's hard as a rock.]
Finn: [groans in pain] What is wrong with this couch?
Jake: Ehh, that made my teeth hurt.
Marceline: Oh yeah. Sorry, I don't ever really sit on there. I just float usually. We... kinda all do.
Finn: Aww, what? man, no fair.
Marceline: Yeah, well, too bad you're not vampires. So, anyways, I...
Finn: Wait! Hold on just a second.
[Jake and Finn start whispering to each other.]
Finn: Marceline, we insist you turn us into vampires. Or ghosts, or whatever. We just wanna fly.
Marceline: All right, all right. Fine.
Finn and Jake: Yes!
Wendy: Come on, Marceline! you're gonna turn these goofballs?
Marceline: [giggles] Don't worry, I've got something more fun in mind. [She whispers to the ghosts. Finn and Jake are exhausted from jumping up and down.]
Finn: Okay, Marceline, we're ready now.
Marceline: Okay, hold that thought. [She floats into the next room.]
Georgy: Huhuuuhhuh...
[Marceline floats back into the living room.]
Marceline: I'm gonna perform the biting ritual. You guys close your eyes and don't open them until I say so. If you do... your heads will EXPLODE! Okay, Finn. You first.
[Marceline lifts up Finn's hat, to reveal his neck. She then makes a hissing noise as she moves closer. Then she pinches Finn's neck. Finn lets out a screech.]
Marceline: Bite.
[Then Marceline does the same thing to Jake.]
Marceline: Chomp.
[Georgy, Wendy, and Booboo all giggle. Marceline puts a dab of ketchup on two of her fingertips and touches Finn and Jake so it looks like they've actually been bitten.]
Marceline: Boop boop. Boop. Boop. Okey dokey. All done. How do you guys feel?
Finn: Pretty... much... the same.
Jake: My neck sort of hurts.
Booboo: Don't you feel a little hungry...for blood?
Finn: [moaning] I felt it. Jake, do you feel it?
Jake: Yeah, I could go for some blood.
[Marceline and her ghostly buddies are all snickering in the background.]
Finn: [gasps] Oh no. Jake. Now we're gonna have to drink blood for all eternity.
Jake: [gasps] Yeah, what if we turn evil? I'll hafta start wearing cologne.
[Marceline floats by, carrying two apples.]
Marceline: Relax, guys. You can satisfy your bloodlust without killing. Look. [She drains the red from the apple until it is pale.] You just eat the color. Here, Jake. You try. [She hands the other apple to Jake.]
[Jake bites the apple, but gets mush all over himself and Finn.]
Finn: Ugh. Come on.
Jake: Sorry, bro. [While Finn and Jake aren't looking, Marceline silently drains the red from the apple in Jake's hands. After Jake and Finn finish rubbing the mush off their faces, Jake looks down and notices the now-pale fruit.] Oh, snap! I feel... stronger. [Jake squeezes the pale apple between his hands.]
Finn: Whooooa... Marceline, can we float now?
Marceline: Mmm... Not yet. That's a really advanced power. First, you gotta go through vampire orientation.
Georgy: Huhuuuhhuh...
[Everyone else glares at Georgy. His cheeks flush.]
Marceline: Think you chumps can handle it?
Finn and Jake: Oh, baby, yeah, baby, baby, baby, yeah, baby, yeah, yeah.
[The scene cuts to everyone standing outside in a forest at night.]
Marceline: Okay, guys, the first phase of vampire orientation is learning... [Catches a firefly and puts it in her mouth.] ...invisibility. [She turns invisible. Finn reaches out to touch the firefly in her mouth and chuckles nervously]
Finn: [nervous chuckle]
Marceline: Ah! Hey! [She slaps Finn but catches him before he hits the ground. Marceline moves Finn around. She becomes visible once again.]
Marceline: You ready for the power of...invisibility?
Finn: With all my heart.
Marceline: Good. Now, spin!
[Marceline sends Finn spinning around until he falls to the ground, feeling dizzy. Jake laughs.]
Marceline: Give it a whirl, Jake! [Then she sends Jake spinning until he falls to the ground.] Now chant, "INVISIBLE!INVISIBLE!"
Finn and Jake: INVISIBLE!INVISIBLE! [They spin to a stop. They get up groaning dizzily.]
Marceline: Yup. It worked?
Finn and Jake: [gasp]
Jake: We're invisible! [He punches Finn in the stomach.]
Finn: You're invisible! [He punches Jake in the stomach.]
Jake: Hey. Then how come we can see each other?
Marceline: Because you guys become vampires at the same time. So you are forever linked.
Finn and Jake: AWW YEAH! [They do a stomach five, and spin around, laughing.]
Booboo: [laughs]'re friends with some real morons. [Georgy and Wendy grimace.]
[Finn and Jake happen upon a place deep in the woods where Lumpy Space Princess is camping out.]
Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, my glob, Melissa. Ever since Clara stopped eating meat, her skin looks so good. I mean, she still looks fat, but like, I can't say that junk to her face.
Jake: Wow! LSP's a hobo!
Finn: Let's mess with her.
Lumpy Space Princess: I'm doing so awesome on my own. Like, right now, I found this can of beans.
[Finn and Jake start making moaning sounds, while picking up some of LSP's camping supplies.]
Lumpy Space Princess: Finn? Jake! Put down my stuff!
Finn: [gasps] She knows it's us.
Jake: She must recognize our voices.
Finn: Let's disguise them. [Romanian accent] We're invisible!
[Finn and Jake continue to mess around the campsite.]
Lumpy Space Princess: Melissa, I have to go. They got into my toilet paper. Melissa, I have to go! [hangs up]
[Marceline, Georgy, Wendy, and Booboo are all watching close by. They start to snicker as they do. LSP starts chasing them.]
Lumpy Space Princess: Give it back, you guys!
Jake: Weeeee!
[He lets loose a roll of toilet paper, and it wraps around Finn's eyes, blindfolding him.]
Finn: Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah, Jake!
[Because Finn is blindfolded, he can't see where he's going, and his foot unintentionally knocks into the can of baked beans.]
Lumpy Space Princess: [in slow motion] Nooooooooo!
[Time seems to pass in slow motion as the baked beans spill all over the ground.]
Lumpy Space Princess: MY BEANS!!! [Angrily, she hits Finn and Jake. Georgy, Wendy, and Booboo laugh at the sight.]
Booboo: Time to join in on the fun!
Lumpy Space Princess: You guys ruined everything! I'm gonna kill you!
Finn: But we're undead. [An axe suddenly appears to float in midair. LSP suddenly gasps and faints at the sight.]
Jake: Geez, we really scared her.
[Finn and Jake gasp as Marceline appears behind them.]
Marceline: Nice vampire scare, guys.
Finn: Thanks.
[Georgy, Wendy, and Booboo appear.]
Booboo: Yeah, pretty good, fellas. [The ghosts chuckle.] You guys ready...for the next vampire lesson? [They all stick out what would be a foot. Marceline stares.]
Finn: You know we are.
Booboo: Good. [The ghosts all start kicking Finn and Jake.]
Finn: Ow! What's the point of this lesson?
Georgy: Kick 'em harder! [They do so. Bruises appear on Finn and Jake as they yelp in pain.]
Finn: Ow! It hurts!
Jake: Ohhh!
[Marceline decides she's had enough.]
Marceline: Okay, everyone! Stop the toughness lesson!
Georgy: What?
Marceline: Finn, Jake. You guys okay?
[Finn and Jake are all covered in bumps and bruises.]
Finn: We're okay. [coughs] It's all worth it.
Georgy: See? They're fine.
Wendy: When did you go all soft? You used to like teaching people about kicks. [Marceline stares.]
Georgy: Hey, guys, I think you're ready to learn how to float. All you have to do is jump off that ledge. [He glances up towards some derelict structures in the distance.]
Finn: Cool.
Marceline: [gasps] W-wait! There's more beginner lessons you need to learn before floating. Like... uh... the spooky vampire walk. See? Spoooooky... wooo!
Finn: Heh heh. No way.
Jake: We wanna fly!
[The ghosts take them away. Marceline growls in anger and floats after them.]
Marceline: You guys stop right now.
Georgy: Marceline, chill out. It's going to be okay. We've got a plan. [to Finn and Jake] Now, get in your flying positions. [Georgy pushes them off the edge.]
Marceline: What are you guys waiting for? You said you had a plan.
Wendy: We do. It's to let them die! [The ghosts start laughing.]
[Marceline is furious. Her eyes blaze with rage. Then she dives off the edge after Finn and Jake, turns invisible, and catches them just before they land on some jagged glass at the bottom. Finn and Jake cheer on all the while. Marceline, still unseen, drops the two of them safely on the ground.]
Finn and Jake: We did it! Yeah! Woohoo! Awesome!
[Marceline turns visible again. The ghosts float up to her looking not too satisfied.]
Wendy: Way to go, Marceline.
Marceline: Hey, you guys need to stop trying to kill my friends!
Booboo: They gotta die someday.
Wendy: Hey! Let's invite them to our place! When they show up...
Wendy, Booboo and Georgy: We'll suck their guts out through their brains!
[Marceline and the ghosts float over to Finn and Jake.]
Finn: Did you see us?
Wendy: Yeah, you guys were pretty amazing.
Booboo: Hey, we're gonna throw a party... in honor of your new vampire skills.
Finn: Holy snaps, that's awesome!
Marceline: They're lying to you guys. They just wanna suck the guts out of the top of your head.
Finn, Jake, and ghosts: What?
Booboo: She's just jealous of you.
[Wendy hands Finn and Jake an envelope.]
Wendy: We'll see you at midnight at our place. [The ghosts turn invisible. Finn and Jake turn toward Marceline.]
Marceline: Guys, promise me you're going to that party.
Finn: We're not gonna go.
Marceline: You're not?
Finn: Nah. I'm kinda tired from doing vampire stuff all day. We're just gonna chill.
Marceline: Oh. Okay.
Finn: Well, we're going back home.
Jake: Peace.
[The scene transitions to Jake and Finn standing in the Spooky Forest. Lightning flashes across the night sky. A run-down manor stands on top of the hill.]
Finn: Number 25, Blood Drive. [Finn and Jake enter the mansion.] Hey guys, we're here! Wow! Look at you guys! That's awesome!
[Georgy, Wendy, and Booboo have changed. They have significantly increased in size, are wearing laced collars, and have menacing eyes and puckered lips. Georgy closes the door. Then the ghosts join hands, spin around our heroes, and start chanting ominously. Their eyes and mouths start glowing white.]
Finn: Uh... [He shrieks in horror as one of the ghosts puts a mouth on his head. Jake tries to punch the ghosts' mouths away, but one gets him from behind.] Georgy, what's wrong? Jake, what's happening?
Jake: I think they're testing our vampire abilities.
Finn: Oh, sweet. VAMPIRE KICK! [Finn leaps in the air, but gets knocked away and lands on top of the chandelier.]
Georgy: Aw, come on. Will you knock it off already?
Wendy: You know you're not even real vampires.
Finn: Pssh. Then why am I flying, Wendy? [realizes] Oh. [The chandelier breaks loose. finn falls screaming to the floor.] Yo, man. I think Marceline tricked us.
Jake: Yeah.
[The ghosts' mouths start to close in on our heroes when Marceline suddenly appears out of nowhere.]
Marceline: VAMPIRE KICK!!! [She kicks the ghosts' mouths away.] Finn. Jake. I'm so sorry I got you into this. I should've never pranked you so perfectly.
Finn: It's okay. You're here now to beat up those ghosts and save us.
Marceline: Oh, no, vampires can't beat ghosts. It's sort of a Rock-Paper-Scissors thing. I just came to apologize.
Finn: Aw, man. [The ghosts' mouths pick up Jake and Finn and start sucking on their heads.] I can't believe we're gonna die just because we wanted to be comfortable watching Heat Signature. [Suddenly, the ghosts drop Finn.]
Georgy: Uh... did you guys say... Heat Signature?
[The scene cuts to a clip from the movie Heat Signature. A Commander and Private are inside a submarine, looking at a scanner.]
Commander: Have you located the enemy's heat signature, Private?
Private: Yes, sir. But I also noticed something... strange. Something... I can't explain.
Commander: Well, spit it out, man!
Private: I... I... I can't seem to locate... our heat signature.
[The scene reverts back to Marceline's living room. Marceline and the ghosts are watching in awe while Finn and Jake struggle about on the uncomfortable furniture, looking none too pleased.]
Finn: [groans in frustration] This stink-ups mega bam-bam to the J-stop. Could we just go back to the brain-eating or whatever?
Georgy: MMM-HMM. After the movie.
Finn: Well, can't we just--
Marceline and ghosts: Shhh!
Georgy: Shut!
Private: [off screen] Look out, Commander!
Commander: [off screen] Aaaagh! My heat signature!
[Marceline's face and the ghost's faces suddenly snap to a satisfied smile. The episode ends.]