This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Gold Stars" from season 6, which aired on January 29, 2015.

Tree Trunks' house
Candy Kingdom school
Candy Kingdom town
King of Ooo's shack
a Dimensional void
This transcript is complete.


[The scene begins with The Lich surrounded by fire and wailing spirits. He cackles at the chaos around him.]
Sweet P: [screams and wakes up in his bed, clutching his blanket. From outside the door he can hear Tree Trunks' reassuring tone.]
Tree Trunks: Hold on, Sweet Pig Trunks. We're coming. [She and Mr. Pig enter Sweet P's room through a small door flap.]
Sweet P: [Holding out his large hands, his parents stand on them and he lifts them to his cheeks and weeps.]
Tree Trunks: There, there, Sweet P, it was just a dream. [She says as she rubs his shoulders] [She wipes away his tears with her trunk and he calms down.]
Sweet P: Just a dream. [Smiles]
Mr. Pig: That's my brave little boy. Now you better get dressed; today's your first day of school!
Sweet P: [Gasps]
[In the kitchen Tree Trunks has cooked breakfast. Sweet P receives a pile of eggs cooked sunny-side up, toast, and an apple.]
Tree Trunks: Now eat up. [She cranks the table upward so he can eat his food.]
Sweet P: Yum!
Mr. Pig: That's fuel you're gonna need later to soak up allll the education!
Sweet P: [Mouth full of food] Yesh, dahd! [Slurps up the rest of his eggs]
Tree Trunks: [Holding a lunchbox] Okay, there's your lunch and an apple for the teacher. [Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig both "aww" at their son.]
[Sweet P steps outside the house. Surrounding the home are the Banana Guards, three helicopters, and Finn & Jake.]
Tree Trunks: Golly, it's awful nice of y'all to take Sweet P to school on his first day.
Finn: [Hiding behind a Banana Guard] Our pleas', T.T.!
Jake: Yeah, first day of school can be real tough. We wouldn't want Sweet P freaking out or awakening any latent evil spirits within himself! [Cautious laughter]
[Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig only stare blankly.]
Mr. Pig: Well, we're gonna miss you, son. [He and Tree Trunks hug Sweet P's leg tightly.]
Jake: [to Finn] You think he's still secretly evil, that he's still all "Lich-y" in there?
Finn: Mm, not sure.
Jake: I don't know, Finn, he just seems so... sweet! [Sweet P hugs his parents back.]
Finn: [Unconvinced] Mm.
Mr. Pig & Tree Trunks: [Waving] Bye!
Sweet P: Bye!
Mr. Pig & Tree Trunks: [Passionately kiss]
[The group continues walking out of the orchard as Sweet P hums to himself.]
Jake: [to Finn] So far so good. [They both gasp as they see a squirrel whose head is stuck in a glass jar.]
Finn: Fat squirrel in trub! Gah! [Sees Sweet P running towards the squirrel] Oh, no! [Jake pulls him back.]
Jake: Wait, Finn. Let's just see how this plays out.
Sweet P: [Reaches the struggling squirrel and turns the jar over. The squirrel's head slides out, and it lets out a sigh of relief. Sweet P then pats it gently.]
Jake: Daww!
Finn: Hmm...
[They all arrive at the school. Sweet P is standing on the inside of the school's area. Outside, Finn takes out a notebook and checks a box next to "First day of school."]
Finn: Alright, welp, see you later, Sweet P! [Waves]
Jake: Bye. [Waves]
Sweet P: Bye, Teddy-Man. [Waves] [He taps his fingers together for a bit. When a voice behind him shouts, he turns to see three other kids.]
Kid 1: Hey, Baby-Man! Did your grandma knit your clothes?
Sweet P: Yeah, and she's my mom! [All the kids laugh at this, and Sweet P laughs too.]
Kid 1: Why are you laughing, Baby-Man? You're not even a real kid!
Sweet P: Huh?!
Kid 1: You're nothing but a big, weird baby-man! [The kids laugh snarkily, which brings Sweet P to tears.] [The teacher rings the bell, and all the kids, except Sweet P, run inside.] Baby-Man!
Sweet P: [Sniffles and sits down hugging his knees. There are two adults that witness the scene, and they watch him.]
King of Ooo: Let's see what we got here. Hello there. Intimidated by those bullies, eh?
Sweet P: Uh, yeah.
King of Ooo: What's your name, kid?
Sweet P: Sweet P!
King of Ooo: I'm the one true King of Ooo. This is my attorney, Toronto. Sweet P, there are all kinds of education, you know.
Sweet P: No?
King of Ooo: Yes, sir, all kinds! Such as... dancing. You could blow off this podunk school and get a proper dance education! Then you can come back and really show those mean kids and make your parents proud!
Toronto: Hey, King of Ooo!
King of Ooo: Yes, Toronto?
Toronto: You are a certified dance instructor, right? Show the kid the dance you do.
King of Ooo: Nooo, that dance is too tough for an amateur!
Toronto: Aw, come on. You gotta show the kid. It's awesome!
King of Ooo: Yeah, I know it's awesome, but I really don't think the kid is ready.
Toronto: Ready?
King of Ooo: I don't think he's tough enough to be ready.
Sweet P: I'm tough enough to be ready!
Toronto: See?! The kid is tough... and ready!
Sweet P: [Takes the apple out of his backpack and hands it to the King of Ooo] Please?! [He jumps up and down excitedly.]
King of Ooo: Aah, I do see it!
Sweet P: [Gushes] Eee!
King of Ooo: You've got a good eye, and you're a good dog! [Hands the apple to Toronto, who holds it. Turning back to Sweet P, he lifts up his shirt to expose his belly.] Watch this, kid. [He gives a shake that sends his belly swinging back and forth.]
Sweet P: Ahh! [Sweet P lifts up his own shirt and shakes his belly. King of Ooo and Toronto nod in approval.]
King of Ooo: Well, we got us a prodigy here. You're ready for advanced classes. [The two lead Sweet P away from school and into town.] Hey, you mugs, wanna see some world-class dancing? Just turn around!
[Three Candy People have walked out of a Candy Tavern but don't turn around.]
Candy Person 1: Ah, leave me alone!
Candy Person 2: Leave me alone, too.
Candy Person 3: I'm turning around! [Turns to see Sweet P shaking his belly. He snorts and laughs, causing his fellows to turn around, walk back, and laugh as well. They laugh so heartily that their golden teeth pop out of their gums and onto the sidewalk.]
Toronto: Teeth! [Scoops them up]
King of Ooo: [Pickpockets the laughing people's money] Ha, ya did great!
Toronto: You should come back tomorrow, kid, for more dancin' lessons!
King of Ooo: Have a gold star! [Hands Sweet P a large metal gold star] Show that to your parents, kid. They'll love it! But... don't tell 'em where you got it, or you'll ruin the surprise. Just think how proud they'll be at your big, uhh, end-of-the-year recital! You understand?
Toronto: Of course Sweet P understands; he's a good boy!
Sweet P: A good boy! [Smiles giddily]
[Back at home the family is eating dinner]
Mr. Pig: So, how was school?
Tree Trunks: Yes, how'd ya do? [Sweet P shows them the gold star.] A gold star?!
Mr. Pig: I'm gonna put this where we can see it every day. [Taking the star, he goes and sticks it on the refrigerator.] Thumbs up!
Tree Trunks: Thumbs up! Come on, thumbs up! [With encouragement, Sweet P gives a thumbs up.]
Sweet P: Thumbs up! [Giggles]
[Morning arrives and Sweet P is back in town shaking his belly for a crowd of onlookers, who laugh, and as they laugh King of Ooo and Toronto steal their money.]
[At home, a gold star appears on the fridge.]
[Another morning, another location, and the act continues, resulting in more stars appearing.]
King of Ooo: Thumbs up!
Toronto: Thumbs up!
[King of Ooo and Toronto spend their newfound wealth with reckless abandon.] [They all arrive at the King of Ooo's small shack.]
King of Ooo: Well, this is our place.
Toronto: We'd invite you in, but the place is a mess.
King of Ooo: He's right; we're filthy. Listen, we all need a break. Go on home, kid, and we'll see you tomorrow!
Sweet P: Mm!
[Back at home, Mr. Pig and Tree Trunks are arm-in-arm.]
Tree Trunks: Sweet P, uh, we're going on a date. You're smart and educated enough to stay at home all by yourself.
Mr. Pig: The proof is on the fridge! [They leave.]
Sweet P: Mama and Papa will be so surprised if the refrigerator is all covered with stars when they get back. One more star should do it. I need to find King of Ooo and Toronto to get me that last star.
[Walking into town at night, Sweet P arrives at the King of Ooo's shack. Outside, Sweet P can hear them talking to each other.]
Toronto: I don't know, K.O, they've gone rancid.
King of Ooo: Horse feathers! A lick of gold paint is all it needs! [Inside the shack] Just a couple more garbage stars, eh, Toronto?
Toronto: Mo' stars means mo' dosh!
King of Ooo: Soon we'll have enough scratch to fund my big comeback! This kid is great at helping us rob people!
Toronto: And best of all, he doesn't know a thing! Because if he did...
King of Ooo & Toronto: We'd have to take care of him! [They both shake the stars violently.] [Outside, Sweet P is startled and steps back, snapping a twig. The two stop.]
Toronto: What was that?! [They go outside.]
King of Ooo: Sweet P? What did you hear?
Toronto: What does it matter?! None of it was good!
King of Ooo: We gotta take care of him.
Sweet P: Aaa! [Runs away frightened]
King of Ooo: I shouldn't have said that out loud.
Sweet P: [Runs back home] Mom, Dad! [Peeking inside his home, he sees they are not there.]
King of Ooo: Hey, kid! Toronto and I talked it over, and we decided that we're not going to [Air quotes] "Take care of you."
Toronto: We're going to burn down your orchard! [Ignites a torch]
Sweet P: [Angrily] Nooo!
King of Ooo: Yup, we're gonna burn it down—unless...
Sweet P: Unless?
King of Ooo: You leave home and your loving parents and come dance with us forever.
Toronto: Forever!
Sweet P: No! No, no, no, no, no! [Cowers]
King of Ooo: Come on, Sweet P. The people love you!
Sweet P: They do?
King of Ooo: Well, mostly they love to laugh at you. I mean, look at yourself. You're a— a— a big, weird baby-man! [Laughs]
Toronto: Baby-Man, Baby-Man [The King of Ooo joins in as they step closer to Sweet P.]
Sweet P: [His eyes capture the torch's light, they flicker, and then the scene goes dark.] Stop. [They both gasp in surprise as the torch goes out.]
Lich/Sweet P: I have learned much from you. Thank you, my teachers. And now for your... education. [His eyes produce a flame, and they all become surrounded by fire.]
Lich: Before there was time, before there was anything, there was nothing, and before there was nothing... there were monsters. [The area changes to a pile of grotesque monsters compounded together and shrieking. The King of Ooo and Toronto are terrified.] Here's your gold star! [Lich/Sweet P opens his mouth, and out pours black smoke. There is a flash of light as the King of Ooo screams. Sweet P gasps and snaps out of his trance, panting heavily.]
Sweet P: Mr. King of Ooo? [He sees the two covered in soot as they rub their eyes, still in fear.]
King of Ooo & Toronto: Monster! Monster! Waaaaah!! [They take off their valuables and run out of the orchard.]
Sweet P: [Stares at his hands and squeezes them] Just a dream!
[In the morning, Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig sit at the table. Sweet P enters with his hands behind his back.]
Tree Trunks & Mr. Pig: Morning, son - Sweet P!
Sweet P: [Gasps in excitement and lifts his hands to toss gold coins and jewelry onto the table] Surprise!
Tree Trunks: Oh, my, my, where did you get all this bling?
Sweet P: [Shrugs] Uhh, my teachers!
Tree Trunks: Wow, how nice of those teachers!
Sweet P: Mm-hmm! [Smiles]
[In the school yard, kids gather and play around as they wait for the bell to ring.] [The three kids from before are there wearing yellow tops and bottoms. Sweet P arrives, playing with the fat squirrel he saved days before.]
Kid 1: Hey, Baby-Man, guess who we are! [They all dance, stop, point at Sweet P and harshly laugh.]
Sweet P: [Tears well up in his eyes, but he calms himself. The kids are confused by his reaction.] [Sweet P lifts up his shirt and shakes his belly, causing the kids to double over in laughter.] [The bell rings, and Sweet P and runs into the school, humming happily.]
Episode ends
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