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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Food Chain" from season 6, which aired on June 12, 2014.

Electronic version of Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen (Queen of the Night's Aria) from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's The Magic Flute
We're Plants
Food Chain
Museum Of Natural History
This transcript is complete.


[The episode starts off showing the Museum of Natural of History. Inside, Candy Children are running through an obstacle course.]
Candy Children: [All screaming and cheering] Whoa-a-a!
Candy Child: That was awesome!
Candy Child 2: Lets go over there!
[All laughing and cheering continue as they slide down the obstacle course]
Candy Children: Whe-e-e-e!
Candy Child 3: Come on! Come on!
Candy children: Wow! Yay! Whee!
Candy Child: Whoa-a-a!
[They finish the obstacle course. The scene changes to Finn and Jake observing the caterpillar family. Muffled cheering and laughter in the background]
Finn: Hmm. Why would I need to learn about caterpillar families? I don't get it.
[Cheering and laughing continue as the scene changes to the Candy Children eating candy leaves. Finn and Jake observe them from the back.]
Jake: Well, they look like they're having fun.
Finn: [Scoffs] Real leaves aren't made out of candy. They always have a gross, bitter taste.
[The scene changes to the children now eating candy caterpillars.]
Candy Child: Whee! [laughs]
Candy Child (Terry): Terry eats all the caterpillars!
Candy Child 2: Mmm! Ah, it's so good!
[Scene changes back to Finn and Jake.]
Finn: Ugh. That's gross, too. There's no way real caterpillars are delicious.
Jake: You think? I bet they taste great if you're a boid.
[The scene changes to a close up of a food chain wheel as it changes its image on it about every three seconds. Princess Bubblegum appears to be teaching the Candy Children about the Food Chain.]
Princess Bubblegum: The caterpillar eats the leaf. Then the bird eats the caterpillar. Then the big bird eats the little bird. The big bird then dies, and its remains decompose into rich, fertile soil And from that soil, a new plant bursts to life. And then the caterpillar eats the plant again. And so the circle of life continues. This is a law of nature we call the food chain.
[The shot zooms out where can visually see Princess Bubblegum and the children at the Food Chain wheel.]
Princess Bubblegum: Isn't that fascinating?
Candy Child (Terry): Yo, Princess Bubblegum, do birds play football?
Princess Bubblegum: No, Terry. They don't. 
Candy Child (Terry): [Sighs] That's weak, Ma'am.
[Finn and Jake, from the back, walk out.]
Candy Child 2: You guys, this is lame.
[The scene changes to Finn and Jake walking to the snack bar. Indistinct sighing, complaining in the background]
Finn: No way I'm eating a bug's butt. Those kids are right. Whats the big deez about the food chain, anyway? Lets hit the snack bar and eat something yummy.
[From behind, Magic Man, up to no good again, uses his magic to transform Finn and Jake into birds. Finn and Jake chirp out the Electronic version of "Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen."]
Finn: Hey, this is pretty fun!
Jake: Hey, have you noticed we are birds now?
Finn: I'm hungies.
[The camera angle pans down where an oasis is seen from a distance.
Jake: Look over there. That oasis looks pretty good to me.
[Jake swipes a bunch of caterpillars on a leaf in the air.]
Jake: Bon appetit!
[The caterpillars which Jake swiped in the air now fall into his mouth.]
Jake: [Gulps]
Finn: Oh, dude, you ate those?!
Jake: Come on, man. We're sweet, sweet birds, and we get to eat worms. This is a unique experience.
[Finn swipes the caterpillars from another leaf into the air, and he eats it.]
Finn: [Gulps]
[Finn throws up on the floor.]
Finn: [Groans]
[The scene now changes to Finn and Jake with bloated bodies.]
Finn: [Groans] Uh, how did I get so mad chubs? I only ate one grub.
Jake: Dude, you've been eating grubs for hours.
Finn: What?!
Jake: Yeah, you're a beast.
[The shadow of a big bird is seen coming closer to Finn and Jake. The scene switches to a big bird trying to grab Finn and Jake. Both screaming, Finn and Jake dodge from the big birds claws. A beat plays in the background as Finn and Jake try to fly away.]
Finn: Help me, Jake! My body's too bloated to fly!
Jake: Hide!
[Finn cowers. The big bird is now confused as Finn is hiding. It flies away, but it notices Finn escaping from his cowering position. Finn continues flapping but is too bloated to levitate, not realizing that the big bird is watching him. The big bird then dives down to snatch up Finn.]
Finn: [Grunting]
[Just before the bird grabs Finn, Magic Man changes Finn into the big bird, and the little bird barely escapes. Talk about your close call...]
Finn: [Grunts] There goes my din-din. Why am I hungry again?
[Finn is now flying higher and eventually starts flying with Jake.]
Finn: Jake!
Jake: Who are you?
Finn: It's me, Finn.
Jake: Dang, when did you get so big?... And old?
Finn: [Stomach growls]
[Finn starts to hallucinate and sees Jake as a piece of meat.]
Jake: You feeling okay, bro?
Finn: Jake, we are good friends. So let me just say you look awesome right now.
Jake: Ha, really?
Finn: Yeah.
[The scene switches back to Finn hallucinating and seeing Jake as a piece of meat.]
Finn: You're looking tasty. [Muffled] Hey, why don't you take a seat in my mouth?
Jake: Why? That's... weird.
Finn: It's okay. It's okay. Just give it a try. It's a new experience, right?
[The scene changes to Jake in Finn's mouth.]
Jake: Wow, you have a lot of saliva. [Chuckles] You must have a broken pipe, old timer. It's comfy, though.
[Finn then tries to eat Jake by closing his beak but Jake quickly escapes.]
Finn: [Chomps]
Jake: Whoa! Did you just try to eat me?!
Finn: No...? But if I did that'd be okay, right?
[Jake flies closer next to Finn's face.]
Jake: You are trying to eat me.
Finn: I'm just following the Law of Nature.
Jake: What're you talking about?
Finn: I don't know. I just feel that way. [Chomps as he tries to eat Jake again]
Jake: [Groans]
[Jake flies away.]
Finn: Aw, Jake, you're missing out... by not getting eaten... by me.
[Jake flies away.]
Jake: Sorry, man. I'm not into it.
[Weak from hunger, Finn falls and hits the ground with a thud. The scene changes to an Irish beat playing as Finn lies on the ground, dying as the sun sets before him.]
Finn: So alone. So hungry. [weakly] The Law of Nature... has claimed this... bod... [Groaning weakly]
[Thus ends Finn's life as a bird and the scene fades to black. The scene now changes to Finn's next life as a bunch of bacteria. The change like Finn changing from a small bird to a big bird happens again. This time, Finn has changed from a big bird to bacteria - trillions of 'em.]
Finn: Yay! What a big turnout. Top notch! To decompose stuff! Yeah-h-h! We are so pumped! Yeah! [Sniffs] What's that smell?
[The scene has changed to a bird (in Finn's hallucination) made out of fruits and food, which interests Finn as bacteria]
Finn: Wow. It looks amazing! Yay! Yay!
[Wavy colorful lines appear shining out beside the bird.]
Finn: Party time!
[The scene changes back to Finn as bacteria]
Finn: So good! Awesome. This bird went bad so well!
[Jake - also a bacteria - now appears positioned out of the hundred Finn bacteria]
Jake: You took it too far, man. I'm a dog, and I eat all kinds of horrible things. This is disgusting.
Finn: Come on, think of it as a conversation starter—like, "The other night, I ate the grossest thing I've ever tasted." You know, it's interesting. [Gulping]
[The scene changes back to the bird now already consumed by Finn as bacteria, little more than a skeleton.]
Finn: Whew! I'm full.
[A whooshing sound is suddenly heard. A strong breeze starts blowing as the Finn bacteria grab the ground.]
Finn: Whoa! Aah!
[Some of the Finn bacteria fly off, and the scene changes to a closeup of the bacteria holding on to the skeleton of the bird.]
Finn: Whoa! Aah! Whoa! Aah! What's going on?! Whoa!
[The camera angle goes through all the bacteria, and the scene changes as the background color turns green. Three leaves sprout, and Finn and Jake turn into flowers.]
Finn: [Burps]
[The song "We're Plants" starts to play as the surroundings rapidly change from day to afternoon to night (a day is short to a plant). Finn and Jake (as flowers) get eaten by caterpillars (as indicated by the "Caterpillars" bubbles pointing to the swirly vortices eating away at their leaves), and two birds fly in and eat the caterpillars just in the nick of time. The camera zooms into Finn's face towards the end of the song. Static ends the song (apologies for technical difficulties).]
[The scene changes. The first shot is the sun, and the surroundings are full of fire.]
Finn and Jake: [Laughing]
Finn: [Panting]
Finn: I think we're safe now... and also caterpillars.
Jake: [Breathing heavily]
[As the camera angle pans down, we notice that Finn and Jake have changed into caterpillars. Out of the frying pan, into the fire...]
Jake: We're still in a bind, man. No food, no water.
Finn: I'm hungry.
Jake: I'm thirsty.
[As the camera angle pans to the side of Finn and Jake, another caterpillar appears in the distance.]
Jake: [Panting] Hey, look.
[The camera shows a closeup of Erin's face.]
Jake: It's another caterpillar.
[Back to Finn and Jake, Finn's eyes are replaced with pounding hearts - love at first sight.]
Jake: Huh? You okay? [Jake waves his hand over Finn's eyes.]
Finn: She's beautiful.
Jake: She's just a caterpillar, dude.
[Back to the closeup of Erin's face, she starts to faint.]
Jake: Looks like she's gonna faint.
Erin: [Whimpering]
[Erin finally faints and falls to the ground.]
Jake: You see?
[Finn isn't there and appears to be trying to rescue Erin.]
Jake: Huh. "Love is Blind"—that must apply to all species.
[Now Finn, Jake, and Erin are traveling together.]
Jake: Oh, I see. Your name is Erin, and there's a famine near your town, so that's why you're out here searching for an oasis.
Erin: Yes, I have to hurry and find food. Otherwise, my family won't survive. [Weakly] But I don't know if I can go on... [Thunk]
[Erin faints again, and Finn holds her.]
Finn: Hold on, Erin. Food! Water! Shade! Where are you?!
[An oasis is seen in the distance. And not a moment too soon.]
Jake: Over there—the oasis!
[They stare at the oasis. Erin eats a bit of a leaf while Finn eats a lot of it.]
Finn: [Muffled] Yummy!
Jake: Really? You like leaves now?
Finn: So good, dude.
[Erin and Finn eat on the same leaf and bump their heads together. They both blush.]
Finn: [Gasps] Your eyes.
[Jake starts eating a lot of leaves and breaks up the conversation between Erin and Finn.]
Jake: Hey, hey, hey, move over a bit. I got a rhythm going here.
[Jake leaves. Finn and Erin hold hands as they sit on a leaf by the sunset. Jake is on the underside of the leaf.]
Erin: I've never been this happy.
Jake: [chuckles] [imitating Finn] This oasis is pretty romantic, huh?
Erin: Sure, I guess.
Jake: So, how many kids you want to have?
Finn: Uh, [stuttering] d-d-do you want to get married?
Erin: Yes!
[And with that, the scene changes to a shot of flower bells ringing at Finn and Erin's wedding in the oasis. Jake acts as the priest.]
Jake: And will you, Finn, take this caterpillar to be your wife, even if she becomes a flower or a bird or a bacteria, to love and to cherish till death do you part?
Finn: Y-y-y-yes.
[All the other caterpillars start cheering and an electronic version of Mendelssohn's wedding march plays.]
Jake: You may now kiss the bride.
[As Finn tries to kiss Erin, much to the "aww" of the audience, uninvited guests in the form of two birds appear in the distance that eventually crash the wedding, their presence interrupting the kiss and causing general mass hysteria, and dine in on some caterpillars.]
Finn: This way, Erin!
[Caterpillars get swiped into the air.]
Caterpillar: Hey, is that my butt? Man, it's been a while!
[Finn and Erin are falling.]
Erin: Finn!
Finn: When we're reborn as caterpillars, I'll marry you all over again!
Erin: That's beautiful, Finn! But when we're bacteria, I might see other people!
[Right before Finn falls into the bird's mouth, Magic Man changes Finn into a bird (and not a moment too soon) - and Finn chokes on the caterpillars. Now the scene changes back to Finn as a human. Finn has been dreaming this whole time, and in reality he is choking on candy caterpillars. He spits them out on the table. They are in the snack bar.]
Jake: Hey, why are you eating caterpillars?
[The scene changes to Finn in his mind, hallucinating.]
Finn: My eyes are open.
[Finn recaps the words Princess Bubblegum used to teach the kids about the food chain.]
Princess Bubblegum: The caterpillar eats the leaf. Then the bird eats the caterpillar. Then the big bird eats the little bird then dies and its remains decompose into rich, fertile soil. And from that soil, a new plant bursts to life. And then the caterpillar eats the plant again. And so the circle of life continues.
[The song "Food Chain" begins to play, and in the background Finn dances and realizes the importance of the food chain. The song ends with Finn representing a strange combination of the food chain.]
Candy Child 2: Eh, so what? Let's go play.
Candy Child 3: Yeah, weirdo.
[The candy children sigh and complain as they leave the snack bar. The exact same first scene replays with the Candy Children playing through the obstacle course, and the episode ends. To quote Princess Bubblegum: "And so the the circle of life continues."]