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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Flute Spell" from season 7, which aired on March 12, 2016.

This transcript is incomplete, missing [action].


[At night, Jake plays a video game on BMO, facial hair growing on him and it's shown that he's exhausted]
Jake: BMO, I've been playing this 72 hours straight. Can I please save after this battle?
BMO: No, it takes up too much brain space.
Jake: [drowses and then wakes up] I'm out of candles. Huh? Man, if Finn were here, we'd be doing this in shifts. Oh, well, let's keep grinding.
BMO: I cannot talk and run this game at the same time.
[BMO displays the main title screen of the video game]
Jake: [screams] NOOOOOOOO! [chills out instantly] Well, I guess that means I'm free. I live again!

Jake: [sings "My Name Is Jake"] ♪My name is Jake, and love my life. Kissin' on lady 'cause she's basically my wife. Fixin' up Neptr 'cause he fell from a tree. Catchin' up with Maja and Aptwe.
Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant: ♪Maja's in a coma, and she might not wake up.
Jake: ♪I'm glad you got a friend now even though that's messed up. Take T.V. to the market to get him into fruits. Take a little nappy in my blanket cocoon... Wake up really early just to cook for my friends. Later in the field at night I thought I saw death. Made myself a boat, and I sailed with a whale. Took T.V. to the market so he could try kale. And some other stuff...♪ Ah!
Shelby: Nice song, Jake.
Jake: What a crazy 2 weeks. I think I'm ready to hole up and go round tow on 'Age of Grinders'. But where's Finn? I need him on this adventure.
Shelby: Uh, well...
Jake: Hold on. What?
Shelby: If you don't know, I'm not sure it's my business to tell you.
Jake: Don't you dare, Shelby! Give up that greasy gossip!
Shelby: Word on the street is, Finn's been hanging with a new lady.
Jake: Who the honk is it?
Shelby: I don't...
Jake: Muscle Princess. It's perfect.
Shelby: I don't...
Jake: Me-Mow, from the future! [gasps]
Shelby: Nobody knows. Finn's been keeping this on the super DL.
Jake: Why?
Shelby: He's just trying to be careful this time.
Jake: Oh yeah, I get it. But I still got to know who this girl is.
Shelby: Okay, just don't blow up his spot.
Jake: I won't!
[Jake slides down from the Tree Fort]
Science Cat: Hey, Jake.
Jake: Oh hey, Science Cat. Where's Sword Shark?
Science Cat: He died of old age. Hey, are you gonna find out who Finn's girlfriend is?
Jake: Who told you that?
Science Cat: Word gets around, man.
Jake: Not to me, apparently.
Science Cat: Let me know the dirt when you find out.
Jake: I won't!

Jake: Huh? What's that? Sounds like a flute coming from above the canopy.

Jake: Huntress Wizard!
Huntress Wizard: Stop!
[Finn stops playing the flute]
Huntress Wizard: This isn't working, Finn.
Jake: Dude.
Finn: [screams] Oh, hi, Jake. What are you doing here?
Jake: I wanted to check out your new lady friend, but I guess she just dumped you like a diaper in the dirt, bro. [sobbing] I'm sorry, man! I want you to have a healthy relationship with someone cool.
Finn: That's so sweet, Jake. I love you, man.
Jake: Me, too, man. Okay, I'm okay.
Finn: But, dude, me and Huntress Wizard weren't together. We're just trying to conjure up the Spirit of the Forest with my flute spell.
Jake: What the blood are you talking about?
Finn: It went down like this.

Finn: I was just minding my own business, in my new alone place I've been hanging out at.

Finn: Hello.
Huntress Wizard: How are you playing like that?
Finn: I don't know. I'm just making stuff up.
Huntress Wizard: Something in your notes has the quality of a powerful evocation spell. What spirit guides your hands? Tell me, or I'll put this up your nose.
Finn: First off, I'm a great fighter. And especially agile when I'm nude, so good luck. Second, my flute improv ain't no secret. I let my grass hand do whatever it wants, which is usually sort of shreddy and busy.
Huntress Wizard: Let me see that hand!
Huntress Wizard: You're what I've been looking for.

Jake: Looking for a dope boyfriend.
Finn: No man. She thinks my grass arm flute playing could summon the Spirit of the Forest. I've been playing different songs for 2 weeks, though, and he hasn't shown up yet.
Jake: Who's that, her ex-boyfriend?
Finn: Uh, I guess they used to hang out, but maybe in some kind of mentor-student capacity.
Jake: So my theory holds. You can still make this happen.
Finn: Yeah, I really want to help her summon this dude.
Jake: Finn, that's not why you're here.
Finn: That's why I'm here.
Jake: Come on. Let's make some magic happen.
Finn: Yeah, my magic flute spell.

Huntress Wizard: Finn. I had an idea.
Jake: Hi.
Huntress Wizard: I think the problem is your flute. We should make you a better one from a magical tusk, like the tusk of the legendary Thunder Boar that lives in these woods.
Finn: I'm down for whatever if it helps.
Jake: I'm also here.
Huntress Wizard: Hey, what's up? It's late. Why don't you guys crash at my place tonight? We'll start the hunt first thing in the morning.
Jake: Ha-ha! I'm like your sleepover chaperone.
Finn: Grow up.
Jake: You grow up, you teen.

Huntress Wizard: So, yeah, here's the place. We got some nice soft dirt right over here. Pantry, in case you want a snack, bathroom. I got a console if you get bored, but it was a gift, so I haven't really set it up yet. Night, boys.

Jake: Dude, I think I figured it out. You can't summon the Spirit of the Forest 'cause you ain't playing that flute for him. You got a crush on HW.
Finn: HW's just training me to live an ascetic life like her.
Jake: Okay, I buy that for like zero seconds.

Huntress Wizard: Before we hunt the Thunder Boar, you should drink from this enchanted spring. It might give you crazy dreams, but when you wake up, you'll be immune to the Boar's electrical attacks.
Finn: Let's roll those dice.
Jake: Hey, dude, are you sure you wanna do that?
Finn: I've had plenty of weird dreams... Oh-okay! That was fast.
[Jake as a purple bird chirps]

the Spirit of the Forest: Welcome. I am the Spirit of the Forest.
Finn: Wow, dude, we've been trying to summon you for weeks.
the Spirit of the Forest: And why do you seek me?
Finn: I don't, personally, but Huntress Wizard really wants to talk to you, man.
the Spirit of the Forest: Did you know that a wolf's eyes are on the front of its head?
Finn: But, yeah, didn't you guys used to hang?
the Spirit of the Forest: Most predatory species are like that. This little buddy doesn't even know I'm here.
Finn: Fella, I don't want to have a science talk right now.
the Spirit of the Forest: Huntress Wizard only sees straight ahead, eyes on the prize. Now, why did you really need to see me?
Finn: Oh, yeah! Can you make me immune to electricity?
the Spirit of the Forest: [gives Finn Finn Sword] Here.
Finn: Whoa.
the Spirit of the Forest: Now plunge that into your heart.
Finn: And this will give me immunity to electricity?
[the Spirit of the Forest shrugs]
Finn: I'll do it. To help Huntress Wizard.
[Finn yells and wakes up]
Finn: How long was I out?
Jake: Seven long harrowing seconds.
Huntress Wizard: Hold still.
Finn: Yeah, fells fine.
Huntress Wizard: Great. Now we can hunt down the Thunder Boar.
Finn: Oh, yeah, the Boar.
Huntress Wizard: Try to stay focused.

Huntress Wizard: Magic dog, what do you smell?
Jake: Mostly, Finn, but also some kind of giant wild pig.
Finn: There!

Finn: Jake's joking. I smell fine.

Huntress Wizard: Good work.
Thunder Boar: You just wanted a tusk? You could have asked!
Finn: Oh.

Huntress Wizard: You can stop. He is not coming. He is gone for good, and I should just deal.
Finn: Maybe if I played it a little jazzier, like, all syncopated?
Jake: Hey! Why don't you tow try playing together? Use that chemistry to guide the music. Yeah, just get in there. Cozy up.
Huntress Wizard: I guess we've tried everything else.
Jake: Wow...

the Spirit of the Forest: Who summons me with the sweet song of longing? Oh, hey-oh. Can you see me now?
Huntress Wizard: Yes.
the Spirit of the Forest: How's it been going?
Huntress Wizard: I've been talking to a lot of twigs. Where have you been, dude?
the Spirit of the Forest: I've been right here, but the forces that drew us close became obscured as you drifted into the lifestyles of magic city livin'. Attracting forces come and go. It's the way of the world.
Jake: I still can't tell if you guys dated.
Huntress Wizard: But I'm ready to come back now.
the Spirit of the Forest: Are you, though?
Jake: That's what I'm saying.
the Spirit of the Forest: Finn, who was your flute spell for?
Finn: Um... I was playing my flute for you the whole time, but I knew you had a thing with this dude, and he seems cool, so I was just gonna keep playing this flute song about my secret feelings until my flute broke.
Huntress Wizard: I-uh, I worry that hard meat don't get eat. That is to say, if I ever find what I'm looking for, I'll become soft and I'll cease to matter in this world.
Jake: What?
Huntress Wizard: Fear of softness is waht drove me to the mad and sad world of wizarding. And Finn...
Finn: Yeah, what?
[Huntress Wizard gives Finn kiss to the mouth]
[Jake gasps]
Huntress Wizard: My flute spell was for you, too. You're an exceptional beast, and you have great hair. But exceptional beasts like us cannot fall in love. That is the secret of ordinary people.
Jake: Uh, that's real dumb.
Finn: I agree.
Jake: Wait, you agree with me or her?
Finn: Take it easy, Huntress Wizard.

Finn: Man, I can't believe all you can do is upgrade your armor in this game.
Jake: It's all about patience and treating each grueling repetitive battle as if it were your first.
Finn: Oh, snap! Finally!
Both Finn and Jake: Whoo! Blah!
Finn: What a bad and boring game. It was just what I needed.
Jake: I'm sorry it didn't work out with Huntress Wizard. She just needs time to miss how cool you are.
Finn: Attracting forces come and go, man.

[the end of the episode]