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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Evergreen" from season 6, which aired on January 15, 2014.

This transcript is complete.


[The episode begins in a prehistoric setting. Dinosaurs roam a rocky field. The camera pans into Nina running away from Gunther, who is yelling at her.]
Gunther: [laughing] Stop, demon! Get back here, I say! Ha ha, nowhere to run. I, the great and powerful Urgence Evergreen, command you to freeze into a million pieces and leave young Gunther alone!
[Gunther points at Nina, expecting her to freeze. Nina turns her head and meows much like a cat.]
Gunther: Foolish demon, you leave me no choice. Zap, zap zap zap zap! What?
[Gunther looks down at Nina, who walks over to Gunther and rubs her head against the rock he is standing on.]
Gunther: No, Nina! You're supposed to be frozen. Nina!
[A red flash of light appears in the distance. Gunther looks over at a nearby ice tower, where a fire and a portal appear.]
Gunther: Nina, the portals! The Elementals are gathering! C'mon, you blockhead!
[A pink portal appears, and Gunther and Nina run towards the ice tower where it appeared. They run up several flights of stairs, going through several rooms in the tower. They pass by a potion room, and they finally reach the top where the Elementals have gathered.]
Chatsberry: I just think we should discuss this, Evergreen.
[The camera pans out to show the top of the tower. The portals and elementals of Candy, Ice, Slime, and Fire are meeting there. The camera then zooms in to Evergreen talking about a deadly comet heading towards the Earth.]
Evergreen: "Discuss"?! Are you listening, Chatsberry? Once this comet hits, everybody dies. Not just everybody, but us, but us!
Balthus: Now, now, hold on, Evergreen. Hath not a comet impacted our world every thousand years with no lasting grievousness?
Evergreen: Ahh, but this, Balthus, is no ordinary comet. Behold!
[Evergreen creates a sphere of ice to act as a magnifying glass for the rest of the elementals to see through. They all gasp in horror as they gaze at the comet.]
Evergreen: See how it writhes? It aches for our extinction. It—!
Chatsberry: But Evergreen, even if the comet is as dangerous as you say, what can we possibly do?
Evergreen: We build a crown.
Chatsberry: "A crown"?
Evergreen: Like none seen before, or ever after! A magical crown whose phantasmal circuitry will bond to its first bearer and grant him his one deepest wish... [yelling] to destroy the hideous comet which threatens our world! The good news is I already built the crown. The bad news: it needs a power source. [yelling] The enchanted Ruby Eyes of the ancient lava dog, Magwood! And that's where you come in.
Chatsberry: Wait, wait! Evergreen, please. Wish Magic is really the real deal! This wish may see things in you you cannot see yourself. Can you truly say you know your heart's truest desire?
Balthus: I'm with Chatsberry. If this comet hits, we four indeed may perish. But the Elements we embody — Fire, Ice, Candy, and Slime — will live on! But a misplaced wish could cause irreversible damage to the very structure of existence!
Evergreen: Well, that's just great. What about you, Slimy D?
Slimy D: [begins rapping] Yo, yo. My name's Slimy D, and I'm here to—
Balthus: [interrupting the rap] Slimy D stands with us.
Chatsberry: We reject your plan, Urgence Evergreen!
Evergreen: Very well then. You leave me no choice.
[He moves his arms around and freezes Balthus and Slimy D in blocks of ice. Chatsberry fires jelly beans at Evergreen from his hand (accompanied by nasty farting noises) before Evergreen has a chance to freeze him.]
Chatsberry: Urgence! Stop! You'll doom us... all!
[Evergreen blasts Chatsberry with a beam of ice, freezing him.]
Evergreen: Ingrate! Hmm! Doom you to no doom, maybe! [yelling] Gunther! [Gunther pokes his head out of his hiding place.] Pack my things, Gunther. We ride forth with Mount Magwood. You get to watch me save the world! [Gunthers eyes turn to hearts] Gunther! [His eyes return to normal] Come on, Gunther. Get your head in the game.
Gunther: Sorry, Master Evergreen. [His head ducks out of his hiding place]
Evergreen: [sighs] And he expects me to teach him the ways of magic? As if.
[The scene goes to the comet speeding towards Earth. It then changes to Evergreen riding on a palanquin being rolled along on top of pillars of ice. Gunther and Nina walk alongside him on the ground, with Gunther carrying his and Evergreen's things.]
Gunther: [stepping on rocks] Ouch! Oof! OUCH! Uh, Master Evergreen? Can I ride on the palanquin with you? My feet are soft. [beat] No, you're right. Ooh, boy...
[Gunther steps in an anthill, and ants crawl over him. The scene changes to Evergreen and Gunther setting up a camp.]
Gunther: [points at comet] Gettin' fat. [yelling] Gettin' fat, right?
Evergreen: Hmm. [reading scroll]
Gunther: However, I would suggest this is still a nice night. It's quiet.
Evergreen: Hmm, it is quiet. Why don't you put on some music? The chimes, Gunther.
Gunther: Okay.
[He hops into the large bag he was carrying. He digs around through the bottles in the bag. He pulls out a bottle with a drum on it and opens it. An imp appears and starts playing the drum. Gunther sits down and listens. He starts rocking back and forth in time to the music.]
Evergreen: Gunther! I said "chimes"! Gunther, no! [throws sand at Gunther]
Gunther: Sorry, Master, I'll put him back.
[Gunther starts poking the imp creature with the bottle. It starts yelling.]
Ice Imp: Heeeeey! Mmm, what?
Evergreen: Oh, never mind. [rolls a jar towards Gunther] Here, take the jar and find me some water. There's not enough moisture in the air for me to make an ice camp.
Gunther: Uh, Master? I'm sorry, I don't think I've seen any water at all today.
Evergreen: Just do it. Don't anger Daddy.
Gunther: Wait, are you my father?
Evergreen: No, but I stole your egg and mutated your brain—get going! [goes back to reading scroll]
Gunther: Hmm.
[Gunther and Nina travel over a small hill of rocks to find a single source of water.]
Gunther: Heh, you don't know where you're going, do you, girl? [Gasps] Ah, you're good at this. [The water pouring from a tiny rock structure that is low to the ground.] Man, you know who I like? Master Evergreen. He can do anything; one thing he's gonna do—he said he's gonna teach me magic. I can be like him!
[With the jar barely able to fit under the structure, Gunther grunts in frustration as he jams the jar under to get more.] [Nina puts a reassuring paw on Gunther only to be smacked.]
Gunther: Nina, no!
[Nina obediently curls by his side as he scoops the water by hand to fill the jar.] [Later Gunther and Nina make it back to the camp site.]
Gunther: Master Evergreen, I found the water so you could build a—oh, [sees ice tent and hears a sleeping Evergreen] I guess he also found water, too.
Ice Imp: [Gunther takes blanket] Heeeeey?!
[Evergreen, Gunther, and Nina stand on a block of ice that moves slowly down a river of flowing lava. They then enter the area of Magwood.]
Evergreen: Now, Gunther, listen to me. Don't follow me into Magwood's lair or else he'll melt your dome!
Gunther: [Disappointed] Yeah...
[Evergreen walks around the corner.]
Evergreen: [pointedly] Oh, Gunther! You should see this!
Gunther: Okay!
Evergreen: [Taps his nose] Gunther, no! You failed; he'll melt your dome.
[Evergreen enters the lair, and sees a small Magwood sleeping on a column.]
Evergreen: [to himself] Not as grand as you once were, eh?
[Evergreen steps on a small skeleton. The sound is enough to awaken Magwood, whose size increases.] [Outside of the lair, Gunther worryingly fidgets and cringes at the sounds he hears as his master and Magwood battle. He gets up and walks in to the lair.]
Gunther: Master Evergreen, I'm sorry, but I got worried. Yeeeee!!
[An enraged Magwood has chased Evergreen to a hanging stalactite. The wizard blasts ice at the creature, who then bites at the stalactite. Evergreen falls into a pit as lava encroaches from above.]
Gunther: Ah! Oh, boy! Uh, maybe maybe maybe, maybe I can do magic! [Looks at his hands] Like Master Evergreen. Bah! Ice! Flah, sorry... [He steps back only to trip over the same skeleton as Evergreen. This again catches the attention of Magwood.]
[The basket of bottles spill, and the bongo-playing ice imp is released.]
Gunther: Shh!
Ice Imp: That's what you get! [Magwood approaches and roars. Lava shoots from his mouth and lands on the imp, melting him] Heeeey....
Evergreen: [With Magwood distracted, he shoots a large block of ice.] Ice! [And then freezes the creatures head and quickly runs to the top. He stabs Magwood's head to obtain the jewels.] [Now walking away from the volcano, a frustrated Evergreen holds the jewels with Gunther slunk behind him.]
Evergreen: This is why I don't teach you magic.
[Back at Evergreen's home]
Gunther: [Petting a sleeping Nina] Niiina, Hiiina, Iiiina, Fiiina—
Evergreen: Gunther! The heck are you doing?! Get in here, Gunther! Oh, there you are, you blockhead. Quickly, take your position. We have precious little time. Once I complete the bonding chant, you deactivate the force field. [Gunther gives a thumbs up.] Bonding, bonding, three two one, you can do it, you can do it, three two one, bonding bonding. I did it! I— [A pounding sound comes from the doors. An angry Magwood, now in igneous rock form, appears. Evergreen blast him with ice but it has no effect as the creature has been cooled down] Come on, now, what did I ever do to you?! [Dodging an attack Magwood breaks a column] Watch the columns, stupid! Whoops! [Although he runs to another part of the room he puts his hands up in defense.] Easy now... [Magwood rears up and stomps, the ceiling cracks and a large piece of it falls on its head, knocking it unconscious] Oh, wow, did you see that?! [Evergreen too is now pinned under a piece of ceiling.] Ow, my bread balls!
[With the room in ruins, the floor falls away. Gunther is knocked unconscious only to wake with his master calling to him.]
Evergreen: Gunther?! Gunther, can you hear me?!
Gunther: [Groggily] Yeah—yes, Master Evergreen!
Evergreen: Okay, good. Now, aiming at the sound of my voice, throw the crown so it lands right on the top of my head.
Gunther: I—wait, what?
Evergreen: No, no, there's no time! It must be you, Gunther!
Gunther: Me?
Evergreen: Don't worry, it's easy. Even a mush-head like you couldn't donk it up too bad. Just focus on your deepest truest wish, the destruction of the deadly comet, and the rest will take care of itself.
Gunther: [Places the crown on his head] My deepest truest wish... [Darkness overtakes him] Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no!
Evergreen: Gunther? Buddy? What are you wishing for down there? [Gunther sprouts white hair, a long nose and blue skin and starts shooting ice powers... all just like his master, Evergreen. If that isn't bad influence, Glob knows what is.] Gunther... no... That's the wrong wish! You've got to snap out of it! Use a concentration spell or, or a basic focusing charm—like I taught you... I mean, like I meant to teach you... I--
Gunther: Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no!
[The comet approaches and all fades to neon green]
[Morning. The Ice Kingdom in the present world of Ooo. Ice King, current wearer of the Crown, is seen jumping on his bed, dreaming the tragic events played out in the distant past.]
Ice King: Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, noooooo! [Imitates explosion sounds - signaling the end of Evergreen's story - and falls off the bed and wakes up full, yawns]. Mornin'. Man, what a dream. Do you guys ever have the dino-boy dream with the astero-- what? What... what is it? [He sees the penguins shivering in the corner, afraid] Something in my teeth? Something in my hair? Something in my nose? Something in my ear?
[As Ice King says the latter lines, the scene changes to the outside of the Ice Kingdom. In the morning sky, a twinkling new light - easily mistaken for a star - glints into view. A fade in to the depths of outer space reveals the source of the light: a new comet, light blue in color. Destination: Earth. Zoom in to the comet, fast approaching, then slowly and surely fade to black. And so the end begins again...]
Episode ends