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Adventure Time Wiki

This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Escape from the Citadel" from season 6, which aired on April 21, 2014.

Crystal Citadel
This transcript is complete.


[This episode starts in the Time Room. A guardian of the Citadel is taking the Lich in a crystal that he had previously caged him in. The guardian starts to take the Lich out of the Time room through a portal. Finn runs towards it while Jake jumps on Finn's back.]
Finn: Wait, wait, wait, wait!
[Jake stretches Finn and himself on the Lich, and the guardian pulls them all out of the Time Room as if it were made of Jello. The guardian brings them towards the Citadel. Jake looks back to the Time Room.]
Finn: Look, Jake. [Jake turns his head toward the Citadel] More guardians. The Citadel, I presume.
Jake: Likely so.
Finn: Hey. Do you think maybe one of them could be my dad?
Jake: Eh, I don't think so. We'll probably know when we see him.
Finn: Right, right. That makes sense.
[They arrive at the Citadel. Jake turns into stairs that Finn walks down. The Lich is teleported to the floating crystal pillar on the top in front of where Finn and Jake can see him.]
Finn: Hey! The Lich again! This must be where the prison cells be at. See? Good riddance, too. I hope you rot forever, you awful jerk-clapper. Some people just make the world a worse place to be in just by being around, Jake. [The Lich starts to breathe gray smoke through the pink crystal.] That's right. Bad apples. Lock 'em all up, I say. At the bottom of the ocean, where it's too dark to see.
[The camera view moves to a figure inside one of the crystal shards.]
Jake: Look at that weird ol' kid over there. He looks just like you. [It closes up on Finn's father.] Man, look at his clo—
Finn: Daddyyy! [Finn immediately jumps towards his father. Jake turns into a slide and slides Finn into the crystal cage with his father inside and falls onto the floor of the pillar.] Aah! [Jake and Finn look up at Finn's dad silently. The take then zooms in on Finn. Then it zooms in on his caged father.] All locked up in there. D-Do you think maybe he's a criminal too?
Jake: [He walks towards Finn who is still on the floor.] Well, it had crossed my mind.
Finn: [He groans while slapping his head across his face, then gets up from the floor.] Jeez, man! Now I wish I hadn't said all that stuff before. Now my heart feels yellow and green. [He makes an angry sound while clenching his fists in the air, then he exhales.] Maybe we shouldn't even have come here—waah!? [Jake is beside Finn's dad while blowing on it. Black fire is melting the crystal cells and pillars.] Jake, what did you do?
Jake: It wasn't me! It came from up there!
[Finn looks up to see The Lich's crystal cell fully gray and spreading his grayness and black fire to other cells with prisoners that are gray and have escaped or are still in their cells. The prison is being destroyed by this. Finn is shocked by this.]
Finn: [referring to The Lich] He's melting the crystal all up! [It zooms in on the Lich than other prisoners as Finn talks.] Breaking cats out left and right! Turning cats gray! Did he trick us again!? I think he did!
Martin: Hey, kid! [He starts to blow on the crystal that's burning on the crystal close to his hand.] Hey, do me a favor. Get me out of here, huh? [Finn, bearing his teeth, goes to help his father.] This fire smells crazy!
[One of the escaped prisoners gets zapped in the background. Finn goes to Jake. Jake turns into a wrecking ball and twists him around his body then twists the other way to knock Jake into the crystal cell and saves his dad.]
Martin: Thanks, kid. Now, where'd you guys park your Star Skipper? [As Finn's dad speaks, the guardians fire off their lasers to obliterate the criminals trying to escape. One guardian has fallen in the line of duty and is falling into the depths of space.] This place is coming down quick, and I mean quick, like zip zip. Like wow, like boom boom wow.
Finn: Oh. We... we don't have a Star Skipper.
Jake: [turns back into his dog form] Also, Finn'ss your son.
Martin: Whaaat? No Star Skipper?
Jake: Ahem! I said, Finn's your son. He came a long way to meet you.
Martin: Son? Oh, hey, good for you, kid. In other news, I still gotta get out of here and the ground is melting. Huh? [He pokes at a pink circle that has formed in the center of the Citadel.] It's all pooling in the center.
Finn: Hey, um... I... I wanted to ask you something. I... well... [Finn's dad jumps into the center.] Hey, wait up! [Jake brings himself and Finn into the center. They all swim upwards.] [underwater] Dad, wait! [At the top of the center, Finn, Martin and Jake gasp for air. Limbs of the guardians are everywhere. A guardian falls and makes a wave.] Dad, I need to ask you —- aah! [The wave causes Finn, Jake, and Martin to a rock of the Citadel that is standing as an island. They all catch their breathe. Jake coughs up water.]
Jake: [coughs] [gasps]
[All the prisoners are loose and most of them are fighting one another. A Void Caster opens a void portal which hits a guardian with a meteor. The guardian aims a laser at the Void Caster, but misses. The Void Caster opens another portal to the head of the guardian. He tries to zap him but dies due to a train—driven by Starchie—to the head.]
Starchie: Aaah!
Void Caster: Gree-nah-gah-ga-ba-ga-ga-da-da-ga-ga. [laughs]
Jake: [looks around] Finn, I know we normally come out of these things okay, but I got a bad feeling about this. Just promise me, if both my eyes get fried off, you'll fry yours off too.
[Jake stretches his arms and pulls Finn out of the water.]
Finn: What? No. [He gets up from the floor] Listen, you don't gotta worry about a thing, Jake ol' pal. [He points upwards] We just need to defeat those five space villains, hijack the shard they're hijacking and sail it home to safety. [Jake looks upwards.] Easy peasy.
Martin: Yeah, Jake, smarten up. As soon as the last guardian dies, the fighting stops. See? He's bitin' the dust right now.
[A guardian is dying with black flames on its head. It shoots a parting laser before it fully bites the dust and it burns off Martin's lower leg, exposing the bone underneath. Brutal.]
Finn: Aahh! Uh oh! [he says it 15 times]
[While Finn is speaking, Martin falls over. Jake crouches over holds his head and breathes.]
Martin: It's-- It's okay. It's okay. [Finn continues then stops.] You just gotta fetch me a gob of that guardian blood, son. It's got that good nooch that keeps us young in the crystal.
Finn: Nooch?
Martin: Come on now, partner. [breath] No dawdling, yer old man needs ya. [winks]
Finn: [sighs]
[Jake has stretched to form a bridge between two islands. Finn walks across.]
Martin: Atta boy, Flynn! Do it for yer old man! Yeah, yeah, just get right in there! Don't be shy. Yeah!
[Finn reaches the other side. He plunges his hands into the gooey white substance. He manages to pull a large blob from the mass and falls over backwards into the water. He hurries back over.]
Martin: Hey, good job, son! Now, rub some of that sap on my leg there. Make sure to get it into the chicken wing hole.
Finn: [shudders] Dad...
Martin: Martin!
Finn: Okay, M-Martin. We need to talk.
Martin: Yeah, okay, kid, but hurry it up. I'm trying to act cool here, but this thing really stings!
Finn: [inhales, talks speedily] Why'd you abandon me in the forest when I was a little baby!?
Martin: Oh... I mean... Heh. You know me. I'm a funny guy!
Finn: [groans unhappily]
Martin: Ahhh, I dunno. It was a long time ago. [Martin brushes his hair back while he talks] Who knows, [points at Finn] maybe you left me!
[Holding the sap, Finn looks unhappy. Jake looks angry towards Martin.]
Martin: [sighs] But hey, daddy's back! [grunts] [Martin scoots over to Finn and put his arm around him.] You and me, daddy and baby, or should I and daddy. [He lightly slaps his face. He then moves his leg closer to Finn.] Now slap that sap! [Finn takes some of the sap and spreads it on his leg bone. This renews his veins, muscle, then his skin.] Whoa! Would ya look at that! [He brings his leg near his face.] Smooth like new. [He holds his boot.] Pssh, couldn't fix the boot too, huh?
Jake: Dude!! [Jake grabs at Finn's shirt.] S'mores important junk happening! Look!
[Black fire is bubbling the melted sea-like crystal. The crystal that was holding the Lich has turned from pink to gray pops up from the melted crystal. The camera goes to Finn and Jake. Jake runs across the scene.]
Finn: It's time to peel bananas on this fool, as a family! [In unison, Jake and Finn flex their muscles.] How about it, Martin? [beat] Dad?
Martin: [Swimming away from the island Finn and Jake are at.] I gotta run to the store!
Finn: [annoyed] Hrm. [An explosion throws Finn off balance. He turns around.] Wha?
[The Lich is standing and surrounded by black fire. He takes a step. The only part of Billy that is still attached to him is his eye. Billy's eye slides off the Lich. He turns the surrounding area fully black.]
The Lich: Fall.
[Finn and Jake are forced to the floor. The Lich walks toward Finn. The Lich laughs menacingly. Finn finds the strength to get on his legs and knees. He looks towards Jake, who can't get up.]
The Lich: You are alone, child. [Finn falls and lets out a groan. There is a light now in the dark coming from the small crystal island that Finn and Jake lie on.] There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. [The Lich points to the shard with crystal and criminals on it.] These Ancients are just the beginning.
[As the Lich talks, He walks over to Finn and Finn is trying to attack. Weakly, he gets his sword out and falls over while groaning. He falls in the guardian blood.]
The Lich: I will command a great and terrible army; and we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength. I am the end. [He reaches to touch Finn. Finn rolls to see the Lich. He balls his hand in a fist.] And I have come for you, Finn. [Finn slaps the Lich with the blood on his hand. The Lich starts to grow veins and muscle. This causes the blackness to go away. The Lich starts to spazz and make bizarre noises as he is tainted by what he is the opposite of: Life. Everyone who was under his spell aren't anymore.]
Finn: [Finn sits up.] What? You don't like this stuff, huh? [He reaches for more guardian blood.] Whoa! [His transformation goes faster and Jake wakes up. Jake witnesses Lich transform and is disturbed, closing his eyes. Lich falls over, now made of flesh.] Right in the doorbell. [He looks toward his dad.] Dad. [He runs toward him.] Jake, finish off the Lich. I gotta go catch my dad.
Jake: Finn, forget that loser!
[Finn dives in the crystal-like sea and swims to his dad. Martin is humming to himself and is climbing up the shard.]
Finn: Dad, wait!
[Finn starts coming up to the shard. Martin glances back to see him, then goes back to climbing. He gets to the top.]
Martin: Hey, cool guys. Looking for a new boss? [They look at him and then he winks at them. As Finn climbs up the shard, one of the criminals, a centipede, starts to cut at the shard Finn is climbing up.] Chew faster, that guy's really moving.
[The centipede cuts the shard before Finn makes it. He grabs both shard pieces and tries to pull them back together. He seems to be losing his grip.]
Finn: [grunting and disappointed] Dad! Stop!
Jake: [He glances over at the Lich, then he sees Finn in danger.] Finn! [He takes an arm and throws it to help Finn.]
[Finn has almost lost his grip. Jake pulls him to help keep it together.]
Finn: [shouting] Martin, I won't let you escape!
Martin: [Martin runs toward a Void Caster] Hey, hey, you're a void caster, right? We gotta put some [pats his leg] gas in this buggy.
[The Void Caster nods his head. He opens a void and it pulls the crystal toward another dimension.]
Jake: Finn! Let go! He's not worth it!
[Finn is still struggling to keep hold, and his face gets more red the more effort he puts into keeping hold. The grass sword on Finn's arm forms into a large, grassy, spiny arm which grows bigger and bursts his clothes off as he screams. Jake gasps. The grass arm now intertwines with the shard.]
Martin: Oh, gross. Pedal to the metal!
[The Void Caster makes the void larger. The strength of the other void causes Finn's grass arm to snap off, thus taking his forearm along with it. Jake gasps. Finn falls into the ocean. The crystal and other half of the shard go into the void.]
Martin: Hey, what about air—?
[While Finn is in the ocean, a small bit of the guardians' blood touches his arm and makes a flower. Jake pulls Finn in from the ocean and onto the small island. Jake moves Finn's hair out of his face and sits him up.]
Jake: It'll be okay, dude.
[Shelby comes out of Jake's ear and tears up. He lies on Finn's arm. Finn smiles. He grimaces at his arm.]
Finn: [sighs] I mean, at least you finished off the Lich, right?
[Jake perks up.]
Jake: Oh, yeah, that's the good news: I didn't have to! One sec. [He runs behind the large piece of crystal.] Up you go! Check this out! [Finn is surprised, Jake shows Finn the new Lich. And so this is how the undead scourge ends.] Brand new baby. The Lich is super cute now, and he smells real neat! [The new Lich sticks out his tongue.] That sap rebooted him or something. [The Lich makes popping sounds with his mouth.] I like him a lot.
[Finn smiles. A train whistles.]
Starchie: Over here, fellas! Next stop, the Candy Kingdom. Previous stop, this weird place.
[In the Land of Ooo, Mr. Pig and Tree Trunks are having breakfast. She is looking at her ring while Mr. Pig is reading the newspaper.]
Tree Trunks: Mr. Pig, I think we should get a d—
[Someone rings the doorbell. They both look at the door.]
Jake: [whispering] Okay, run. Go, go, go!
[They open the door]
Tree Trunks: Oh! [She hugs Mr. Pig while also spilling his coffee. Mr. Pig is smiling.] Oh, this changes everything!
[The Lich is in a basket.]
The Lich: Hello!