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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Don't Look" from season 8, which aired on April 2, 2016.

This transcript is complete.


Transcript[]

Jake: Hmm. [Reading aloud] 'Make more friends with sing-talking.' ♪ ♪ Hey there, Finn! Whatcha reading? ♪ ♪
Finn: It's a manuscript about "The Legend of Dead Mountain." Supposedly, if you get to the top, there's a treasure that will change you into the person you always wanted to be.
Jake: Ha, that's a dumb story; I love dumb stories! What would you change about yourself if you got that treasure? Fix your weird cursed grass arm so it wouldn't be weird and cursed?
Finn: Nah. I'd like to be taller.
Jake: How tall we talking about?
Finn: I don't know. Like, couple of inches. Say...tall as Princess Bubblegum?
Jake: [Mockingly] Oh, I see.
Finn: Jake, how would you change yourself on Dead Mountain if only the legends were true?
Jake: [Leaning back] I wouldn't change anything; I'm the whole package. [Falls backward] Whoa!
Finn: [Looks through book] Hey! There's a big warning about Dead Mountain in here. See? [Shows book] It says some kind of evil hermit guards the mountaintop. [Reading aloud] 'Don't let him look at you or something horrible will happen.' That seals the deal. The twin temptations of getting to grow a couple of inches and battling an evil hermit sound like a pretty perfect day. Let's go!
Turtle Princess: Shh!
Finn: [Whispering] Let's go.
[Finn and Jake march up Death Mountain]
Finn and Jake: [Chanting] Gear up for battle! You smell like cattle! Gear up for battle! You smell... Like cattle!
Finn: Monsters that get you by looking at you are so doomb.
Jake: Everybody knows all you need is a mirror.
Finn: They ought to get a new gimmick. [Finn and Jake reach the top] There's the evil hermit's uh... what is that? A hut?
Jake: No, it's a yurt.
[Finn and Jake enter the yurt, scaring away the rats inside]
Finn and Jake: Yah! Rats!
Finn: [Confused] Is that the hermit? [Disappointed] We don't get to fight the hermit.
Jake: Hey look.
Finn: What is it, boy?
Jake: The treasure. Okay, here it goes. [Shakes snow globe] Oh great treasure, make my taste buds think they're tasting fried chicken even when I eat my fruits and vegetables. I don't have any fruits or vegetables on me. I guess I'll find out later if that worked. Your turn.
Finn: [Speaking to globe] Oh great treasure, I want to be approximately 11.5 inches taller. [Stares at globe] Gross! It's leaking! [Finn and Jake inspect the yurt]
Jake: This place is depressing.
Finn: And I'm not growing taller. There's nothing going on here. ON TOP OF DEAD MOUNTAIN!
Jake: We should have known better than to trust a book.
[Finn hands Jake back the snow globe]
Finn: Yeah. He makes one cool skeleton, though. [Walks up to Hermit] These shades... [Takes off sunglasses] Let me check out these shades. [Hermit's eyes shine brightly at Finn] Aah! Ohh!
Jake: Finn!
[Finn wakes up in his bed disoriented]
Finn: Huh? Jake?
Jake: You're awake! Oh, I was so worried. I've been waiting with a bowl of soup. It has hoops and loops and maybe some goop.
Finn: [Fatigued] What happened? I don't remember getting into bed.
Jake: Don't worry. You're gonna be fine... [Looks away] in no time.
Finn: Thanks for taking care of me. You're the greatest big brother ever. [Jake transforms into a "jock"] W-Why are you doing that?
Jake: I'm not.
[BMO enters the room]
BMO: You're awake! You want some tea? Or saltine crackers?
Finn: BMO, you're my little angel.
[BMO begins transforming]
BMO: I'm a real boy! [Wings sprout from his back] With wings! [Halo manifests above his head] And a halo! [BMO flies out the window laughing gleefully] Oh!
Finn: What's happening?
Jake: I don't know but it probably has something to do with your weird old eyes.
Finn: [Surprised] Something is wrong with my eyes?
[Finn jumps out of bed and runs to the mirror]
Finn: Aah! Hermit eyes! Dead-hermit eyes!
Jake: Heh, it's fine.
Finn: Do you think the hermit did this... to punish me for grabbing his shades?
Jake: I think maybe the eyes are the treasure.
Finn: So, then, am I making people what they want to be?
Jake: No, because I don't want to be this awesome sweater bro. But maybe that's how you see me.
[Shelby squirms out from the fruit on the table]
Shelby: Hey dudes. Nice eyes, Finn. What's the word? What's the haps? [Shelby's appearance and voice transform] What's your major?
[Shelby squirms away cackling]
Jake: Whoa! Do you see Shelby as a bookish nerd?
Shelby: You're a nerd.
Finn: I don't know, maybe. Is that bad?
[Finn's phone rings from his backpack and answers the call]
[Princess Bubblegum is on the other end, but the audience can only hear indecipherable noises]
Finn: Hello? ... Hiya, P.B. What's up? ... You need help with your speech? ... An emergency?! ... On our way. [Finn hangs up the phone] Let's roll, varsity Jake.
Jake: Ah ah. Before we go... [Jake puts the sunglasses on Finn] Until you figure out how to use them, keep those peepers covered.
Princess Bubblegum: [Comparing two suits] What to wear for my speech... Boss next door or hot president?
Finn: Is this what you needed help with?
Princess Bubblegum: No, I think I got this. Oh! Hi Finn and Jake. You guys look...cool. You trying out a new look? [Finn and Jake shrug at each other] Anyways, I'm preparing for a very important speech about the benefits of candying vegetables, and I need you guys to take care o-o-o-o-o-of [Walks over to balcony] that.
[Starchy seen in the distance struggling with a stack of chairs]
Finn: Help Starchy set up chairs?
Princess Bubblegum: No no no. That.
[Screens pans over to Ice King sitting on a tree]
Finn: Oh boy. We're on it, princess.
Princess Bubblegum: It's probably nothing. He's been good lately, but it's a big speech, you know.
Ice King: [Eating a sandwich] Ohh. Ah.
Finn and Jake: Hey Ice King!
[Ice King falls off the tree suspended upside-down by his tunic]
Ice King: Aah! I'm not doing anything wrong. I was just lady-watching. [Tunic tears and Ice King hits the ground] Ow!
[During the fall Ice King shoots a small bolt that knocks off Finn's glasses]
Finn: Oh no.
[Ice King's appearance reverts to that of his fully-human self]
Ice King (appearing as Simon): Where'd my muscles go?! I'm a scrawny-armed loser! [Runs off crying]
Jake: That's how you see him? That's beautiful.
Finn: Sure, I-I mean it's... It's hard not to sometimes. Where'd those glasses go?
Jake: There.
[Starchy taking selfies with the sunglasses]
Finn: Starchy! Give those back, you thief!
Starchy: [Transforms wearing a burglar outfit] Huh? No way! Starchy looks good!
[Finn chases Starchy around a stack of chairs]
Finn: Starchy, you butt!
Starchy: [Starchy's head turns into a butt] Ohh!
Finn: Oof, sorry.
[Princess Bubblegum comes down]
Princess Bubblegum: What's going on here? [Becomes transformed] Can you explain this?
Finn: I don't know. I'm not a psychiatrist!
Jake: Come on, let's get you home, dude. Peebs, good luck with the speech.
Princess Bubblegum: But... Teen boy heartthrob it is.
Jake: Okay, at least now we're safe from you donking up any more of our friends.
Finn: Nobody got hurt.
[Neptr rolls out from the treasure]
Neptr: Have any of you guys seen BMO?
[Finn transforms Neptr into a basic microwave]
Finn: Aah! Did I kill Neptr?!
Jake: You turned him into a microwave. So...yeah, you kind of did.
Finn: But... but... but... That's not how I see Neptr, is it? I like Neptr. He's like my half-son. If I was a better person, would I be turning my friends into better things? Am I uncaring, judgmental...
[Finn transforms into a caricature of his father]
Jake: Uh, Finn.
Finn: Self-centered? Monstrous? I'm... I'm... I'm a huge wa-a-a-a-a-d! [Runs through Tree Fort and off into the hills]
Jake: Finn! You're being melodramatic!
[Jake enters the yurt]
Finn: I know it's you.
Jake: Hey, buddy. I figured you'd come back here.
Finn: Don't look at me, Jake. I might turn you into a microwave.
Jake: Baloney! You turned Neptr into a microwave because he's a microwave. But that doesn't mean that's all he is to you. I know you think Neptr is an interesting person, and I know that "microwave" is just one part of his personality. I mean...maybe your eyes are just bad at describing things, you know? Like how you feel about people, what they mean to you... That stuff's in your guts. Eyes can't grok that... Unless you have the eyes of like a trained artist or something. But you don't. I'm telling you, man: you're not a bad dude like this skeleton bro, or you'd be turning everyone into rats and plops. Now come on. Look at me.
Finn: Jake, you're so wise.
[Jake transforms into a small old elf]
Jake: What?! Di- Wha... Well, at least you're listening to me. And wise old Jakey got a plan. [Back at the Tree Fort Finn is looking at his reflection] P.B., you want to go first?
Princess Bubblegum: He may not be the most cunning soldier, but one thing about Finn is that he always puts other people first, and that makes him a true hero.
[Finn transforms in a Spartan soldier and then back to his caricature but wearing Spartan armor]
Starchy: Finn helped Starchy fart once.
Shelby: What a life saver.
[Finn's head turns into a floatie]
Ice King (appearing as Simon): Finn's a mean old party pooper. [PB nudges Ice King] Ow! But he is the hottest guy in Ooo, so he can kind of do what he wants.
Jake: Finn's just the best guy to do bro stuff with, like lying on the grass and talking to bugs or baking chocolate chip cookies. Finn's just a good friend.
[Finn transforms back to his self with the hermit eyes]
Finn: I'm me again. These balls are going nuts. [The hermit's eyes pop-out of Finn and Finn puts the eyes into the microwave] Uh... My son.
[The microwave transforms the eyes and Neptr emerges simultaneously transforming everyone else]
Neptr: Eye pie!
Everyone: Ew.
Finn: Good job, Neptr. You saved the day. [Carrying Neptr out] Neptr! Neptr!
[Everyone runs outside Neptr held in the air]
Everyone: Neptr! Neptr! Neptr! Neptr! Yay!
[BMO falls from the sky and into the eye pie Jake holds]
BMO: I just had the most wonderful dream.
[Episode ends]
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