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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Cherry Cream Soda (episode)" from season 7, which aired on November 4, 2015.

Candy Kingdom
This transcript is complete.


[Episode begins at the battlefield in the Cotton Candy Forest, Root Beer Guy run towards the dome-caged machine where Maja and Darren are on it.]
Root Beer Guy [voiceover]: Fearlessly, Captain Root Beer Guy charges across the battlefield. The ancient sleeper raises his power staff to attack. With one lever pull, [He pulls down the switcher to turn the dome-caged machine on] Captain Root Beer Guy saves the-
[Unfortunately, Darren fires his powers at Root Beer Guy, it melted his body and glass-head down and it soaked his root beer down into the ground as she's kills him. In a moment as Root Beer Guy's actions, the dome-caged machine traps Darren and Maja.]
Cherry Cream Soda: [wakes up in fear from his nightmare] Root Beer Guy! [exhales, catches his breath]
[Cherry Cream Soda rolls himself over to Root Beer Guy, is seeing nothing when he was gone.]
Cherry Cream Soda: One day at a time.
[Cherry Cream Soda's pet cat Loafy goes on the bed, Cherry Cream Soda seeing her stepped on his blanket as she's purring at him. At his kitchen, Cherry Cream Soda is dressed on his robe while Loafy pushes his cat food bowl by his face.]
Cherry Cream Soda: Okay, Loafy, just a second.
[Cherry Cream Soda opens the below-shelf door, carrying a box of cat food and pours them on Loafy's bowl. Loafy starts eating some cat food. Suddenly, Cherry Cream Soda hearing a water shower in his bathroom.]
Cherry Cream Soda: Hmm? [He walking towards his bathroom] Hello? [He opens the bathroom door] [gasps] [He seeing Root Beer Guy's figure is taking bath on her bathtub] Root Beer Guy?
[Cherry Cream Soda opens the bathtub curtains to found Root Beer Guy's figure, a figure is revealing Starchy, now is taking the bath.]
Starchy: Nope. Starchy. You do this every morning.
Cherry Cream Soda: I know. [He sits on a toilet] I'm sorry, honey. I'm trying, but I can't stop thinking about him.
Starchy: Look, we've been married two months already. I love you, baby, but isn't there an expiration date to this grieving thing?
Cherry Cream Soda: I don't think it works that way.
[Starchy sadden, she closes the bathtub curtains and continue taking the bath. The scene changes to a living room, Starchy puts his thermos into his lunchbox while Cherry Cream Soda and Loafy enters.]
Cherry Cream Soda: Starchy, dear, could you feed the cat later? I've got to prep a witness tonight.
Starchy: Anything for my Cherry Cream Soda and her sweet, little kitty cat. [He tries touches Loafy, which is hissed in anger at him, frightened] Oh! I'll win your heart someday, Loafy. [He carrying his lunchbox and takes his shovel] We can't all be a cute, little character with a cure, little straw sticking out of our cute, little head. [Cherry Cream Soda puts all the files into his bag] But take some advice from an old grave digger, huh? Maybe it's time to do something with [He clinks his shovel on a glass of old root beer] that. Here a thought... I could bury this for you. An unmarked grave kind of thing. Just... [swings his shovel] sswt!... Toss him in there with whoever.
Cherry Cream Soda: Well, that's... that seems macabre. [smiles] But sweet. I'll think about it.
Starchy: Okay, okay. [kissing Cherry Cream Soda's lips] See you tonight. [He opens the door]
Cherry Cream Soda: Looks like it's gonna rain. Don't forget your umbrella, Starchy. [He gives a umbrella to Starchy]
Starchy: Ooh, thanks. Maybe I'll take my hoe in case things set sloppy. [takes his hoe] Well, bye again.
Cherry Cream Soda: Bye.
[Starchy leaves from the house and close the door. Cherry Cream Soda nervously seeing Root Beer Guy's shirt and a glass of old root beer. Cherry Cream Soda carrying a glass of old root beer with his little wagon, went though the town to the old, ruined soda cafe. Upon arriving, Cherry Cream Soda remembers Princess Bubblegum who creating him and Root Beer Guy. The flashback begins at the past soda cafe, Princess Bubblegum humming, he squirts the cherry cream soda on a empty glass-head with its body, turned to a living woman. Princess Bubblegum then squirts the root beer on a empty glass-head with its body, turned to a man. Princess Bubblegum takes out a straw and a cherry, he puts a straw on Root Beer Guy's head and puts a cherry on Cherry Cream Soda's head.]
Princess Bubblegum: You two are married. [He pushes Root Beer Guy and Cherry Cream Soda by his hands, they both bumped by their glass-heads together]
[Root Beer Guy and Cherry Cream Soda blushes their cheeks red in romantic. The flashback ends, Cherry Cream Soda takes a long metal piece and digs a big hole up. He then places a big glass into a big hole and covers it.]
Cherry Cream Soda: Good-bye, Root Beer Guy.
[The thunderstorm grumbling and starts showering the rain down. Cherry Cream Soda leaves home with is wagon. A thunder lightning struck on the big glass of old root beer in a big hole, it grumbling the soil and pops a reed out. The next morning, Cherry Cream Soda wakes up, seeing the Root Beer Guy who went off, happily. He walk to his bathroom where Starchy is shaving his moustache with a whipped soap and a razor.]
Cherry Cream Soda: Good Morning, husband.
Starchy: Good morning, wife.
Cherry Cream Soda: Shaving your 'stache?
Starchy: Uh-huh.
[Suddenly, Cherry Cream Soda saw the zombie Root Beer Guy aka the Dirt Beer Guy by the window.]
Cherry Cream Soda: [screams] Starchy! [holding Starchy]
Starchy: [squirts the whipped soap shocked] What? What??
[Cherry Cream Soda and Starchy both screaming, tripped on a bathtub and falls on it with holding the bathtub curtains and it removed off the metal pole.]
Starchy: Blazes mazes! What is going on?
Cherry Cream Soda: I saw him. He was right outside.
Starchy: Who? Finn? Jake? Candy person number 22?
[Cherry Cream Soda seeing Dirt Beer Guy, who had disappeared by the window. He then walk to the door.]
Cherry Cream Soda: Maybe I can still catch him... [opens the door]
Dirt Beer Guy: Hi, sweetie. I was dead, but I came back to life. That was really something.
[Cherry Cream Soda passed out.]
Dirt Beer Guy: Hmm.
[Cherry Cream Soda opens his eyes slowly to see Starchy.]
Starchy: It's okay, baby. Starchy's here.
Cherry Cream Soda: Oh, thank heavens. It was just another hallucina-a-tion. [He seeing the same Dirt Beer Guy who is sit on his couch.]
Dirt Beer Guy: Honey, I'm fairly upset that you remarried.
Cherry Cream Soda: But how is ths possible? You were zapped by Darren, the ancient sleeper. Your dome was cracked. Your root beer soaked into the ground. I buried you remains in a mason jar, which is now your head. And... and... and now I'm with Starchy. I mean we're... we're legally married. You're legally dead. Not that I want to sound obsessed with legalities, but I am a lawyer.
Dirt Beer Guy: Hey, where's that little statue I got you? It said, "I wuv you," on the base of it. It was a little bear with his arms out like this.
[Dirt Beer Guy bumps a vase table hardly by his hand, the table clattering through onto the wall.]
Dirt Beer Guy: He was all, "I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuv you."
[Dirt Beer Guy bumps a couch hardly by his hand, it crash onto the wall. The wall cracking and the lamp topper drops down onto Starchy, it hits him in the head.]
Starchy: No sudden moves, baby. He's got freaky zombie strength.
Dirt Beer Guy: [seeing at the brick fireplace, dropping the sand off his glass-head] Maybe it's up here.
[Dirt Beer Guy jumps up on the brick fireplace. Dirt Beer Guy was so heavy, he falls down onto the floor, the brick fireplace collapse to piece with some household objects were been shattered to pieces.]
Dirt Beer Guy: Did you hire a maid service or something while I was gone? I sure hope they didn't throw out the "I wuv you" bear.
Starchy: Enough! I should have put you in the ground a long time ago!
Dirt Beer Guy: Hey, I came back for her. [He stomps on the floor hardly by his foot, it cracked and all the reeds popped out the cracked floor]
Cherry Cream Soda: Root Beer Guy, if that is you in there, I'm so pround of you. But this isn't fair. You endend our life together when you pulled that lever. You made the choice, and you saved the kingdom. But you lost me.
Starchy: Heh, Burn.
Dirt Beer Guy: Cherry Cream Soda, I still wuv you... [tripped on the footstool] whoa!
[Dirt Beer Guy accidentally rolls over the floor, he clattering through into the wall, the wall cracking and all the reeds popped out the cracked wall.]
Dirt Beer Guy: You always wanted this wall knocked down anyway, right? [chuckles] Ooh.
Cherry Cream Soda: [furiously screaming, wiggling his arms] You come back with no explanation, wreck up the place, and you expect to just pick up where we left off? Get out of my house!
Dirt Beer Guy: [goes out the hole in the wall] I'm sorry.
[Dirt Beer Guy walk backwards to the door, he opens it and went off sadden until Starchy seeing him outside.]
Starchy: Starchy wins! [He slams the door hardly]
[Dirt Beer Guy sadly walking in the entire town in the Candy Kingdom before the sun went down to dawnfall. Dirt Beer Guy stop walking and relax to sit on the swing bench behind the tree. Dirt Beer Guy continue walking, he seeing the Candy Tavern where Jake and Lady Rainicorn are going to date until she enters.]
Jake and Lady Rainicorn: [both laughing]
Jake: That's funny.
[The scene back to Cherry Cream Soda's house, Starchy and Cherry Cream Soda are cleaning and fixing up the rooms inside.]
Starchy: I can't believe you used to be married to such a freak.
Cherry Cream Soda: He isn't a freak. Or he didn't used to be.
[Cherry Cream Soda sighs, walking to a footstool and sit on it.]
Starchy: Shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't worry, honey.
Cherry Cream Soda: Don't touch me now, please. I need time to think.
Starchy: Look, baby. Starchy knows all the fresh windows in town, and Starchy chose you. Starchy wuvs you.
[Cherry Cream Soda sternly upset, did not seeing Starchy who would not listen to him. Starchy goes to the storage basement and turns the light on, so she attempt to guarding the house with some shovels.]
Starchy: It's time to dig a hole.
[Next scene to the Candy Tavern, Dirt Beer Guy asked Jake and Lady Rainicorn that Cherry Cream Soda did not listening to him.]
Dirt Beer Guy: I thought she'd be happy to see me, but it was a disaster. I didn't know where to pick up with her, so of course I just acted like a goof. Oh, and now I'm one of the undead, I guess.
Jake: Hey, man, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Lady Rainicorn: 그래, 그리고 좀비가 뜨는 거 알지? 특히 요즘들어 말이야. (Yeah, and you know zombies are popular? Especially these days.)
Dirt Beer Guy: [sighs] She's got a point though. I was the one who wanted to be the big hero, and I got my wish. But I didn't think about her enough. [He drops the sand off his glass-head onto the table] I'm not even thinking about her right now.
Jake: Yes, you are.
Dirt Beer Guy: I am?
Jake: Run back and tell her all the stuff you've been telling us. Maybe you could pick up from a place you. Haven't been yet.
Dirt Beer Guy: I don't know what that means, but it sounds very encouraging! [runs off, out of the Candy Tavern] See you guys later!
Jake: He didn't bite you, did he?
[Dirt Beer Guy runs back to Cherry Cream Soda's house.]
Dirt Beer Guy: Cherry Cream Soda! Cherry Cream Soda! I've had a revelation of some kind.
[Dirt Beer Guy stopped, seeing Starchy who blocking the door with two shovels.]
Starchy: No dirt-heads allowed.
Dirt Beer Guy: Uh, but I have to talk to Cherry Cream Soda.
Starchy: [tries to stop Dirt Beer Guy to get in the house] Oh, no you don't. Nuh-uh.
Dirt Beer Guy: I'm trying to be polite.
[Starchy kicks Dirt Beer Guy by two shovels, he walk backwards and falls on the street behind the trash can.]
Dirt Beer Guy: Oh, dear. Hmm. Pardon me!
[Dirt Beer Guy harderly throws a trash can of garbage bags to Starchy. She duck down over the trash can, it crash upon the house.]
Starchy: It's on, zombie.
Cherry Cream Soda: [shows up by the window] What the heck?
Starchy: You have met your match, freaky dirt guy! [whirls two shovels by his hands at Dirt Beer Guy] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!
Dirt Beer Guy: Look, will you give me a break?
Starchy: [stop whirling two shovels] Too chicken, huh? Look, I'll put the slovels down. See? [He lays two shovels down on the street and starts to his actions like a karate] Hah!
Dirt Beer Guy: This is childish.
[Dirt Beer Guy knocking the door until Cherry Cream Soda ran down the stairs to the door.]
Starchy: [digs the sand on Dirt Beer Guy's glass-head and drops it on the house steps] Ha!
Dirt Beer Guy: [runs off] Get away from my head!
[Dirt Beer Guy run away before Starchy rolls over the street to two shovel and grabs them until she is chashing him.]
Starchy: Ho-ho! We have some unfinished business. Wait for me, Little Dirt Beer!
[Cherry Cream Soda opens the door, out of his house and runs to follows Dirt Beer Guy and Starchy until Loafy closes the door.]
Starchy: Ooh, is somebody afraid of old Starchy?
Dirt Beer Guy: [bumps the lamppost, it falls down on the street] I'm afraid of killing you.
Starchy: Oh, boo-hoo. [He gets ride on two shovel and continue walks to chase Dirt Beer Guy] Don't hurt me!
Dirt Beer Guy: Ugh. Is it not possible to get away from you?
Starchy: I'm escorting you to your new home... Far away from my house.
Dirt Beer Guy: It's not even your house.
Starchy: Ha! It's practically mine.
[Dirt Beer Guy and Starchy arrives at the ruined old soda cafe where a big hole that Cherry Cream Soda digs up. Starchy jump off two shovels and aims them at Dirt Beer Guy.]
Starchy: [bumps two shovels on Dirt Beer Guy's face] Tonight you'll sleep in a hole... The same dirty grave hole from whence you sprang!
Dirt Beer Guy: [slaps the shovel by his hand] I'm not usually violent, but you pushed me. [He picks up a long metal piece, but it is too medium and toss it on the ground] Nah. What's this?
[Dirt Beer Guy pulls a long iron pipe out from the ground and raise it.]
Dirt Beer Guy: Okay, now we're talking. [swings a long iron pipe around at Starchy] Poke me with a shovel now, you mustache face.
Starchy: Aw.
[Dirt Beer Guy tries to hit Starchy with a long iron pipe, but Cherry Cream Soda arrives to force him and Starchy to stop fighting.]
Cherry Cream Soda: Stop it, both of you. Neither of you thought to ask me what I want. I've made a decision who I want to be with.
[Dirt Beer Guy and Starchy both stand guarding to watch Cherry Cream Soda to forced them to still stop.]
Cherry Cream Soda: I don't want to be with either of you.
Starchy: What?!
Cherry Cream Soda: [to Starchy] You're a maniac. I can't believe I ever got that low.
Starchy: Mmm! [furiously drops two shovels on the ground and walks away] Starchy doesn't need this.
Cherry Cream Soda: [to Dirt Beer Guy] And you. I don't know you anymore.
Dirt Beer Guy: [lays a long iron pipe down on the ground] Okay. Take care of yourself. [He sadly walks away]
Cherry Cream Soda: I said "I don't know you," but I'd like to. [Dirt Beer Guy stopped and smiles] Would you like to go on a date?
Dirt Beer Guy: Yee! [clears throat] I mean, yes. This is weird, right?
Cherry Cream Soda: Well we've never actually dated before. We got married so fast.
Dirt Beer Guy: Let's take it show this time around.
Cherry Cream Soda: One date at a time.
Episode Ends