This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Broke His Crown" from season 8, which aired on March 26, 2016.
Music
None
None
This transcript is Incomplete - Missing [Actions]
Transcript[]
- Princess Bubblegum: I can't believe I let you talk me into this. It's not like I have a lot of free time, you know.
- Marceline: Peebs, you work too much. Imagine a pizza. Only half should be business. The rest should be personal. Personal pizza.
- Princess Bubblegum: Yuck.
- Marceline: Try to have fun tonight.
- Princess Bubblegum: With the Ice King? Not in your everlasting lifetime, girlfriend.
- Marceline: I wish you'd call him Simon. He's actually kind of sweet and funny.
- Marceline: Can you please try to get along tonight? It would mean a lot to me.
- Princess Bubblegum: I'll try.
- Ice King: Try anything once, that's what I say.
- Marceline: Simon! What's this?
- Ice King: It's a present. To bribe you for coming over.
- Marceline: You don't have to bribe us, silly. We're here because we want to hang out with you.
- Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before. You didn't say, "No take backs."
- Marceline: Bottoms down.
- Ice King: So, check it out! I upgraded my home karaoke system. Do you like karaoke?
- Marceline: Duh! We love karaoke. Bonnie is a dynamo on the mike! Okay. You guys get started, I'll freshen up PB's drink.
- Princess Bubblegum: Marceline?
- Ice King: Irslerskat prjon! Prjon, prjon Prrrrrrrrrrrrjon!
- Princess Bubblegum: Marceline! Get out here quick!
- Marceline: What's going on?
- Princess Bubblegum: Something's wrong with the I.K.
- Marceline: No! Simon!
- Ice King: Hi, Marceline.
- Marceline: Are you guys pranking me?
- Princess Bubblegum: Your friend just majorly malfunctioned! He was jerking around all weird, and his voice sounded like he was possessed!
- Marceline: Cool out, B-Bell. I know you love karaoke, but you can't take it so seriously.
- Ice King: I hope you like penguin cuisine. It's mostly just shapes.
- Marceline: Who doesn't love a good rhomboid?
- Princess Bubblegum: You're a rhomboid.
- Marceline: Here, Simon. I know these are your favos.
- Ice King: Thanks, Gunther!
- Princess Bubblegum: He just called you "Gunther."
- Marceline: He calls everybody Gunther. Bonnie!
- Princess Bubblegum: There's something really wrong with Simon.
- Marceline: There's some wrong with Wait. You just called him Simon.
- Ice King: Call me whatever you want. This is the best date I've been on since my last date.
- Princess Bubblegum: This is not a date.
- Ice King: Neither was the last one. It was a robbery.
- Marceline: For real?
- Ice King: Yeah. She stole my heart. And my crown.
- Princess Bubblegum: Your crown.
- Marceline: Crubs! He's really flipping out! [PB strikes on IK's head with an icicle] What'd you do that for?!
- Princess Bubblegum: It just makes things easier.
- Princess Bubblegum: I'm definitely seeing some weird activity here. It's really, really.
- Marceline: You don't know what's going on.
- Princess Bubblegum: Maybe I can access it with my VR equipment.
- Marceline: Whoa, Bon-bon! This stuff is rad. Why haven't you shown me before?
- Princess Bubblegum: I didn't think you liked science.
- Marceline: I like games.
- Princess Bubblegum: We can play sometime. But this time, it's business.
- Marceline: Whoa.
- Princess Bubblegum: This is not what I was expecting.
- Marceline: Did you press the wrong button?
- Princess Bubblegum: I never press the wrong button.
- Marceline: Yeah, you always know which button to press. I'm referring to the fact that you know how to annoy me.
- Princess Bubblegum: Yeah, I got that. What I don't get is this stupid scenery.
- Marceline: At least it's got a pretty killer beat.
- Gunther (Evergreen): Wow! Two newbies at the same time! How'd you manage that? Yeah, okay. I guess if you really squeeze together, it could fit you both.
- Princess Bubblegum: Who are you?!
- Marceline: Are you a dinosaur?
- Gunther: I'm a Gunther.
- Princess Bubblegum: Okay, what's a dinosaur doing here?
- Gunther: I'm practicing my drums. The others say the acoustics out here are better than in town.
- Marceline: What the bleep?!
- Gunther: Yeah. That's been happening lately. You're lucky you didn't get rearranged. Ooof!
- Princess Bubblegum: Does this circuit look infected to you?
- Marceline: I don't know. I only deal in infectious grooves.
- Gunther: Sounds like you guys need another brain. I'm gonna take you guys to the the professor! He's the smartest guy I know. Next to Master Evergreen, of course.
- Sveinn: Prjon.
- Gunther: Hey, guys.
- Sveinn: Prjon. Hey, Goontz!
- Marceline: Who are those dudes?
- Gunther: That's Sveinn. He only wore the crown once. And the guy next to him says he's the first "Santa." Like, what's even a "Santa"?
- Marceline: Dude, the Santa?
- Princess Bubblegum: Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.
- Gunther: Aha! There he is! Professor Petrikov!
- Marceline: Simon!
- Simon Petrikov: Marcy! Dear! How is this possible? Did my beloved Betty master the secrets of the crown?
- Marceline: No. Bonnibel scienced us in.
- Simon Petrikov: You must be Betty's little assistant.
- Princess Bubblegum: Assistant?! I have been my own boss my entire life. I built my own lab! I've created freaking life forms!
- Marceline: Okay! Actually, I haven't seen Betty since she came back to Ooo.
- Simon Petrikov: But if Betty didn't send you, why are you here?
- Marceline: The crown is going ba-nay-nays.
- Princess Bubblegum: It's making Ice King act super weird in the real world.
- Simon Petrikov: Yes, I see. It seems to have infected much of the crown's labyrinth. I was actually just about to follow its path of destruction.
- Gunther: A quest!
- Simon Petrikov: Hey, Marcy, last time, I was so caught up in making things right with Betty that you got left out. I'm sorry.
- Marceline: It's okay. I get it.
- Simon Petrikov: So, you got a boyfriend yet?
- Marceline: Ha! No. There was this guy once, but he was a real jerk, so I dumped him hard.
- Simon Petrikov: Wish I'd been there to punch his face.
- Marceline: Simon! I can punch my own jerks now.
- Princess Bubblegum: It's getting pretty bad. I think we're close.
- Gunther: Yeah! Can't you hear my intense drumming?
- Princess Bubblegum: Magic Man?
- Betty (A.I.): Magic Woman.
- Simon Petrikov: Betty!
- Gunther: This is the fabled Betty? I always pictured her more majestic. You know, with, guts and stuff.
- Simon Petrikov: Betty, please, what are you doing?
- Betty (A.I.): I'm re-programming the crown's wish magic. Got to fix Simon. A-ha!
- Gunther: I'm a bush!
- Marceline: It's just on backwards.
- Princess Bubblegum: Betty's the one who's backwards. We got to get her malware out of here before she causes irreparable damage.
- Princess Bubblegum: Now!
- Princess Bubblegum: Now!
- Marceline: Hoo!
- Princess Bubblegum: Now! Aaah!
- Simon Petrikov: There has to be a part of the real Betty in there somewhere, Gunther. If only I could reach out to her.
- Gunther: Okay. Get in there and reach.
- Simon: I think I will. Betty? I'm the reason you're doing all this.
- Betty (A.I.): I'm busy.
- Simon Petrikov: Remember how we met? When we both reached for the same book in the library, and I said you should check it out first? And when you returned it, you left a note inside, because you knew I'd borrow it next? It was the funniest, smartest note I've ever read.
- Betty (A.I.): I... have to work.
- Simon Petrikov: Betty, I love you so much, but you can't help me like this.
- Betty (A.I.): I can and I will help you, Simon!
- Simon Petrikov: You remember me!
- Betty (A.I.): I-I
- Simon Petrikov: Stay with that feeling, Betty! Stay with it! Betty!
- Betty (A.I.): Simon?
- Simon Petrikov: Betty! I can't believe it's really you!
- Betty (A.I.): Technically I'm a magical A.I. avatar derived from Betty's memories.
- Simon Petrikov: Close enough!
- Princess Bubblegum: Shwang! The system appears to be stabilizing. Crown shields are coming back online.
- Marceline: What does that mean?
- Princess Bubblegum: The crown will re-seal itself off from foreign entities.
- Marceline: But I-I can come back and visit Simon, right?
- Princess Bubblegum: No.
- Betty (A.I.): What about me?
- Princess Bubblegum: Don't freak out, but you're gonna be deleted.
- Simon Petrikov: Oh, no!
- Betty (A.I.): It's okay, Simon. I'm just glad I didn't destroy your world.
- Simon Petrikov: You are my world.
- Gunther: Goodbye, freaks! Don't forget Gunther!
- Marceline: Bye, dude. I'm gonna be nicer to penguins from now on.
- Gunther: Okay. Wait, what?
- Marceline: Whoa.
- Betty (A.I.): Before I go, there's something I have to tell you.
- Simon Petrikov: Tell me, Betty.
- Betty (A.I.): I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
- Simon Petrikov: Betty!
- Princess Bubblegum: I'm seeing remnants of Betty's program in the readouts. It's like her data left a shadow print on the circuitry.
- Simon Petrikov: So, what was that thing you were gonna tell me?
- Betty (A.I.): I just said that for drama. I figured it would drive you crazy, but at least you'd never stop thinking about me.
- Simon Petrikov: Betty, I never could.
- Betty (A.I.): Mwah!
- Marceline: I don't see anything. These are just weird dots to me.
- Ice King: My place is trashed and I can't remember a thing. Great dinner party, huh?
- Princess Bubblegum: Best I've ever been to. What? I don't like relaxing; I like science.
- [ Episode ends ]