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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Bonnie and Neddy" from season 7, which aired on November 2, 2015.

Music
None
Locations
Candy Kingdom
This transcript is incomplete.


Transcript

[In the Candy Kingdom, King of Ooo's blimp is seen docked at Princess Bubblegum's castle.]
Finn: Yeow!
Toronto: Whoops.
[Toronto is holding a sword. Finn rubs a cut on his head.]
King of Ooo: And I dub thee Sir Jake the Dog.
[Toronto lightly taps Jake's shoulder with sword.]
King of Ooo: You two now comprise the royal guard of the one true princess of Ooo. That's me! [winks] As such, you may no longer own property or operate children and must render all treasure and wives unto your sworn princess within a hangman's fortnight.
Jake: [scoffs] Joke's on you, man. We spent all our treasure the other day. Plus, don't even have any wives.
Finn: Wait, what? What about Lady?
Jake: Lady's my girlfriend.
Finn: Wait, but...
Jake: That was Tree Trunks.
Finn: Oh, yeah.
King of Ooo: We, the inhabitants of Ooo, owe you heroes our very lives. As the once powerful and dignified Princess Bubblegum sulked off into exile, it fell upon you two to save us from the impending comet of doom and/or from the hideous Orgalorg, who aimed to eat the powerful comet and grow invincible! And for that, we are eternally grateful.
Toronto: I know I am.
King of Ooo: But now your bravery is essential to a new heroic task! Can you guess what it is?
Finn: Uh...
King of Ooo: Come on. Guess!
Finn: Um... Fight a—Fight a dragon?
King of Ooo: Wrong! Follow me.
[Finn, Jake, the King of Ooo, and Toronto go to the highest part of the sweet castle]
Finn: [sighs] Man, this is stupid as heck. I miss PB.
Jake: Yeah, yes... [panting] I mean, except for this sweet armor, though. This armor is hot like fire.
Finn: Naw, the armor's stupid too. [muttering under his breath] Dang King of Ooo going around like DJ Snappy.
King of Ooo: This is it, fellas, the only spot in the kingdom left unscoured during my treasure census. I'm afraid it'll explode or something if I open it. But I really think there could, nay, there might be precious treasures in there. So I want you two to do it.
Finn: Man, this...seems like a really bad idea.
King of Ooo: Yeah, well, it's an order from your princess. Get, get, get.
Finn and Jake: [being pushed through the door] Hey, eh, ooh, oh, ah.
Finn: [muffled] Come on! Alright, alright.
Old Banana Guards: Hello.
Old Banana Guard 1: We are the sworn protectors of the forbidden inner sanctum, and to proceed you must answer this ancient riddle...I forgot the riddle.
Old Banana Guard 2: That's okay.
Old Banana Guard 1: I love you.
Old Banana Guard 2: I love you too.
Jake: Hey, there's stairs back here.
Old Banana Guard 3: I love you guys.
Old Banana Guards: [muttering]
Finn: Woah.
Jake: [panting] Wait up.
Finn: It's a dragon...a candy dragon. Look. He sucks the vitamins from the roots. And transforms it into candy juice? And then—And then the juice goes in all those drains. This. This is the lifeblood of the whole kingdom. Power, defense, recreation. This is everything. It cleans, it nourishes, and—and...
King of Ooo: ♪Muh-muh-muh money, money.♪ Go on...
Finn: What are you talking about with all this money talk?
Jake: Yeah, why are you singing the money song?
King of Ooo: What, you don't see it?
Toronto: [laughing] They don't see it.
King of Ooo: Look, everyone needs juice to live, right? And I control the source of the juice, so by me charging a mere pittance for every single drop, I can easily quadruple my treasure pile!
Finn: Man, if you think we're just gonna stand here and let...
King of Ooo: Although...if this dragon thing could pick up the pace a bit, we could have enough of a surplus left over to export worldwide! Hey, you there! What do you think about picking up the...
Neddy: [scared shrieks while crashing out through the wall]
King of Ooo: Looks like the Candy Kingdom empire is finished. But the four of us will live like kings 'til the juice runs out. What do you say, boys? Let's... Huh, I wonder where they ran off to.
Finn and Jake: [scooting up to PB's cabin] Princess, Princess, Princess! Princess, Princess, Princess, Princess!
Princess Bubblegum: Oh, hey boys!
Finn: Princess, sklizz is really blizzed up with the King of Ooo! He really blizzed up all the sklizz.
Jake: He blizzed it all up, man.
Princess Bubblegum: Yeah, well maybe he should unblizz it then. [muttering to herself] Why do I always gotta unblizz everything?
Finn: But Princess, under the tree there's—there's a dragon. And he took the juice!
Princess Bubblegum: [gasps] Oh no. This is all my fault. Neddy...
Finn: Princess? Princess, what is it?
Princess Bubblegum: [sigh] That dragon you saw, he's my brother, Neddy.
Jake: [gasps]
Finn: [autotuned] Whaaaaaaaaa?
Princess Bubblegum: We spawned together from the Mother Gum, and now I'm all he has.
Swan: [squawks]
Princess Bubblegum: Neddy's very sensitive. It's not safe for him out there. He needs my help, and I'll need yours.
Jake: [falling backwards] Woah. [holding on to swan feathers] Ahhhhhhh.
[PB has a flashback of her and Neddy's early life, in which they communicate through whimpers, clucks, and other vocalizations, but no dialogue]
Finn: [oblivious] It's pretty quiet, huh?
[second flashback]
Princess Bubblegum: Okay, guys. Neddy's in this cave. I know because my bod rod here is calibrated to our sister-brother bond. Now, people frighten him, so I'm going in alone. If he tries to run, STOP HIM.
Jake: I don't think we can. He's a giant.
Finn: [thumbs up] Yup.
Princess Bubblegum: Thanks, guys!
Jake: [sigh] This armor is driving me nuts!
Finn: No way, I changed my mind. I feel like a fancy shield. Or if I was like a dangerous candlestick. Like a knight's candlestick.
Jake: You don't stretch, man. This thing's cramping my crimps! [grunting while stretching out of the armor] Woo!
Finn: Dude, I don't like that.
Neddy: [shrieks]
Princess Bubblegum: [tongue clucking] Neddy, you sweet weirdo. [more tongue clucking]
Neddy: [yawns, then falls asleep]
[scene changes back to the Candy Kingdom]
Neddy: [noticing the nourishing roots] Ooooh! OOOOH!
[Neddy sucks on a root and the juice begins to flow again]
Banana Guard: [waking up in the bathtub] Oh nooo! I just want consistency!
Princess Bubblegum: [taping sabers to the Old Banana Guards' arms] If the King of Ooo tries to come here again, you have my secret permission to stop him. No holds barred. Moosewood Stadium freestyle. [turning to Finn and Jake] So, what are you two up to now?
Jake: Eh, garden stuff, I guess.
Finn: Ummm... Hey Bonnie, you always act like a loner, right? But next to your brother, you're the light of the party. Sorry, the LIGHT of the party.
Princess Bubblegum: I mean, yeah. One of the first things I did after making sure Neddy was safe was to start making the candy people. I was formed in the Mother Gum. My mind and my gum were in touch with dozens of others, like a crowded womb. I guess I missed that.
Jake: But Neddy's from the same place you're from, and he's a wet hot dog around everyone.
Princess Bubblegum: People get built different. We don't need to figure it out. We just need to respect it. Maybe he likes his own company better than I like mine.
Finn: Well, do you miss the candy people?
Princess Bubblegum: [shrug]
King of Ooo: Hey babaloos, good thing that juice is back on. I was making a mint, but hoo doggie, my candles were starting to turn. [laughing] Thanks, Jake. [showering in the juice] Ahh, that's the stuff. Hey, do you know if I can drink this? Like, is it like well water? Good for bathing, but not so good for drinking? You know what? I'm going for it! [spitting and coughing out the juice] Yup, it tastes just like you'd think.

Episode ends

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