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This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Astral Plane" from season 6, which aired on January 22, 2015.

This transcript is complete, but requires proof reading


[The scene opens with a starry night sky, a shooting star whizzes by. Finn & Jake are out camping. Each are on a sleeping bag. While Finn is looking up, Jake pokes at the fire with a stick.]

Finn: Jake, so I just had this weird thought.
Jake: Well, that's normal; people always have weird thoughts around campfires.
Finn: Well, I don't know. Isn't is sort of strange that we keep pets? We kind of make them worship us.
Jake: What?! Nah. [tosses stick into fire]
Finn: No, seriously, think about it. We're their only source of food and water and, like, tummy rubs. They basically have to love us.
Jake: [turns towards Finn] What's wrong with tummy rubs?
Finn: Yeah, tummy rubs are pretty great. [sighing he points upward towards a bright pulsating light] That one star is so crazy, looks like it's vibrating. [Finn's eyes pulsate pulsate the same] It's so cool. Wonder what it is, a planet? Do people live there? Are they friendly? Do they keep pets?
Jake: Alright buddy, [pulls his skin over himself] that's a little too much campfire. Time for bed. [extinguishes the fire with a large hand]
[Finn's eyes are still on the light. The light shifts into comet-like form. Back at the campsite a sleeping Finn finds himself astral project away from his body.]
Finn: Whoa... holy. [seems himself and Jake] Oh, dang. [he playfully flicks Jake's nose, but it simply phases through him.] [Laughs] Uh, okay. [He feels himself being pulled away and floating above the treeline] Man, this is screwy. Maybe it's the can of beans we had for dinner. [He floats towards a small square house] Looks- uh- homey. Wuh-oh! Whoa-Aah! [He tumbles mid-air into the wall and inside] Oh- right.
[Inside the house is a sleeping Mr. Fox.]
Mr. Fox: [Mumbles in his sleep] Mmm, Boobafina, just pay me back when you can.
Finn: Aww.
Astral Mr. Fox: Hello? [Sitting on a chair doing a sudoku puzzle]
Finn: Oh! Hey, you can see me?!
Astral Mr. Fox: See you...? But if I didn't see you... Wait, what did you originally ask me?
Finn: Oh, forget it, it's cool.
Astral Mr. Fox: Do you, want a drink or something? I think I only have water anyway. [Sees Finn floating upward through the ceiling].
Finn: Whoop, here I go! Bye!
Astral Mr. Fox: Oh, that was sort of rude. I hope he comes back. [Goes back to his puzzle]
Finn: [Above and way from the Fox's house] That guy seemed lonely, not a lot of foxes up at this hour. [Floating higher] Guess you get a lot of work done though.

[The scene changes to show Bounce House Princess and giggling from inside of her. She looks at her watch.]

Bounce House Princess: Quittin' time! [She ejects the bouncing children outside] You don't have to go home but ya', oh, you know how it goes! [Bounces away]
Finn: Bounce House Princess. [His body follows her up towards her home]. I didn't know B.H.P lived in a cave. [He floats inside. Bounce House Princess is at her vanity getting ready for the night] Hey, this place is pretty nice.
Bounce House Princess: [Slathers cream on her face]
Finn: [Blushes] Whoa!
Bounce House Princess: [Brushing her hair] Forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five. forty-six, four-seven, fourth-eight, forty-nine... fifty! [Finn is exasperated by this point]. Fifty-one, fifty-two [A noise startles her and she looks towards the front door]. Who's there?!
[A porcupine has entered the house through a door flap. It looks around and heads towards the kitchen area]
Bounce House Princess: [Loudly gasps] Oh my glob, oh my glob, oh my glob, oh my glob! [She runs to a far wall and rips the wallpaper, revealing a "Panic Room" door] [She quickly inputs the code] six four three two one! [She looks behind her to see the porcupine licking a cracker].
Finn: [Floats towards the panic room. He annoyingly looks at the porcupine] Dude, what's your deal? [The porcupine not hearing Finn simply continues to eat crackers.]
Bounce House Princess: [Inside the room she nervously eats a jar of preserved 'Froot Salad' ] Everything's okay now.
Finn: Aww, geez, poor Bounce House Princess.
Bounce House Princess: [Her expression changes to panic as she sees the porcupine making its way towards the panic room's closed door.]
Finn: [Looks at the monitor] Wha?
[The porcupine rubs up against the door and gradually moves over to the punch pad, its quills hit the correct code and the door opens. Bounce House Princess drops her jar of fruit and stands frozen. The porcupine walks in a laps up the dropped fruit. Bounce House Princess weeps in fear]
Bounce House Princess: [Stops and toughens up] Bounce House Princess, you listen to me! Are you gonna' shut yourself off from other people forever?! I mean he or she could be really nice and- okay, mm, maybe if I just say very still, it'll just- it will just go away. [Finn's body is pulled upwards towards the ceiling a loud pop is heard]
Finn: [Now floating above the princess's cave] Gosh, I hope BHP's okay, I feel bad for just splittin' like that. Maybe they sorted it out, they could have stuff in common. You never know until you speak to the person. [Floating around the clouds, he sees flashing lights and hears music] Oh, hey, Cloud Kingdom.
Finn: [Floating above the party goers he spots the Ice King] What the? Ice King?
Ice King: [Creates a giant ice ball and breaks it into ice cubes. He is seen leaning against a wall speaking with a Cloud Woman named Lauren] Yeah, I guess there's some cool people here, musics a little loud but the but the punch is top-drawer.
Lauren: Mm hmm
Ice King: Hey, you should come to one of my parties sometime; I'm friends with some pretty cool people too you know?
Lauren: Uh huh, who are your friends?
Ice King: Oh, uh- like that guy, Finn.
Lauren: [Suddenly takes interest] Finn?!
Ice King: Yeah, Finn and I are pretty tight!
Finn: [Watching the scene gasps at the idea and growls in frustration]
Lauren: Hmmm
Cloud Woman 2: [Holding a cup] Oh, hi, are you the ice-dude?
Ice King: [Zaps her an ice cube] That's me, ice-dude. [Back to the other Cloud Woman]. Hey, have you ever seen the inside of an ice bear cave?
Lauren: Did you say you know Finn the Human?
Cloud Man 1: [Holding a cup] Hey, buddy, buddy! Care to freshen me up?! [Ice King zaps him an ice cube]
Ice King: Yeah, yeah, now scram.
Lauren: Hey, is Finn seeing anyone right now? Could you introduce us? [Gasp] Oh my glob! Is he here now?! [Looks around]
Ice King: So I guess you're more into the 'little brother-type'? Huh.
Cloud Man 2: [Holding a cup] Hey Lauren, I heard your grandpa's given out ice! [Chuckles]
Ice King: [Growls angrily] Ice?! I'll give you ice! [He unleashes his powers zapping the group of partiers, one passes through Finn who is unharmed] Oh, looks like I put this party- on ice. Oh wait, you want ice? You, oh, you got iced! [Turns back to Lauren who is now a block of ice] Anyway, oh, don't look at me like that Lauren. [He watches as he and the other Cloud People slip through the clouds and fall towards the grown]. Eh, this party was weak anyway.
Finn: [Floating higher above the clouds] Poor Simon. Poor Simon, I guess? Poor Simon... sort-of? It's like some part of him wants to be a sad wong-lord. [Floating higher] But why would anyone want that? Is there some... incentive? [A strumming of a guitar is heard. Finn spots Marceline who is floating in the air playing the guitar and singing to herself]

[Now above Marceline and continuing upwards towards the stratosphere]

Finn: Sheesh, I wonder if being a sad loner gives you more raw material to form song ideas. Is that where creativity comes from? From sad-biz? [Floating above the earth] I am so high up now. I am so high up, there is no "high up". It's all just... [looks up to see blue creatures circling in space] Whoa! What the--? Whoooa! [Floats in the middle of the circle] Space Lards! Ah man, Jake would be flipping out; trying to get that super-rare milk. Make a sick flan with that milk. Oh, well.
[The Space Lards stop circling and sit up right]
Finn: Whoa! What's going on? You can't see me, right? [The Space Lards open up, their mouths and eyes begin to glow. They concentrate their beams into the center where Finn is. Out of this concentration is summoned a larger Space Lard with four eyes - the Mother Lard.]
Finn: [Gasp] I'm in the Mother Lard! [A newborn space lard exits its egg sac, greeting the human boy's astral form with a "Fiiiiinnnnnn", and phases outside the flesh walls of its mother]. What? Space birth! [A shot of the comet and Finn is pulled upward out of the giant lard] Okay, here we go! Whoa! [Exiting out the top of the lard's head] Bye, guys. Oh, that was creative and it wasn't sad either so maybe birth is the greatest statement in all the universe. [The space lard new-born floats under Finn] Hey, baby, ya' gonna give me a boost? [It does so, sending Finn quickly further away from Earth, past the moon into fields of floating food]. Here comes Mars. What the heck is going on though? [He sees a fleet of EVAC ships leaving the planet] Everybody's leaving!

[The scene changes to being on Mars. Grob Gob Glob Grod is there along with a man, Star Man, sitting at a large machine. The machine is aimed at the pulsating light, the comet Finn saw before]

Grob Gob Glob Grod: Fire defense missiles!
[The Martian defense missiles launch from their defense silos. Target: the Catalyst Comet.]
Star Man: Missiles away! Impact with Catalyst Comet in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
[IMPACT! The missiles hit the Comet!]
Grob Gob Glob Grod: Yes! Do you think it worked, Star Man?
Star Man: [Shrugs] Uh, yeah, probably, right? [The comet appears through the missiles' dust cloud without getting so much as even a dent] Shoot! No effect! It's still coming right at us!
Grob Gob Glob Grod: Was that all of our missiles?
Star Man: Uh, yeah, I'm surprised we even had those ones. Like who would we shoot a missile at? Who'd we shoot at?!
Grob Gob Glob Grod: [Altogether] I'm thinking, Star Man!
Star Man: [Covers his mouth] Rooot!
Grob Gob Glob Grod: Grob. Assessment.
Grob Gob Glob Grod: We're sunk, bro. This whole place is gonna be a stinkin' molten dump in a minute.
Grob Gob Glob Grod: It doesn't make sense. Every 1,000 years, the Catalyst Comet mysteriously reincarnates itself and collides with Earth, bringing with it an agent of change. But the comet has never been so off schedule - and it's never freakin' hit Mars!
Grob Gob Glob Grod: What do you think, Finn the Human?
Finn: Wha? Who, me? You can see me too?
Grob Gob Glob Grod: Yes, I am Glob.
Finn: Oh yeah. Hey, do you ever say "Oh my Glob?"
Grob Gob Glob Grod: No, but sometimes Gob does. [They all smile and so does Finn, who laughs] You're dreaming so far from home, it must be comet related.
Finn: Yeah, but, I gotta question.
Grob Gob Glob Grod: What's that?
Finn: Well, if just being born is the greatest act of creation. [shot of Space Lards] Then what are you suppose to do after that? [shot of Mr. Fox looking at the sky] Isn't everything that comes next just sort of a disappointment? [shot of Ice King standing in an empty Cloud Kingdom] Slowly entropy-ing until we deflate into a pile of mush? [shot of Bounce House Princess, now deflated in her panic room with the porcupine continuing to eat]
Grob Gob Glob Grod: Well, it’s not enough to have created something amazing, right? What if I just let my Martian supersociety go to butt?
Finn: But what's it worth if we're all gonna get blowed up right now? [Grob Gob Glob Grod suddenly takes off into space]
Star Man: Whoa! What are you doing?! [looking through the machine's scope] [Grob Gob Glob Grod head straight at the Comet screaming and crashes into it, sacrificing their synthetic lives for the Red Planet in a blaze of cosmic glory. The impact is so powerful, Finn is blown away by it and falls back to Earth and back into his body.]
Finn: Ahhh! [Gasps and wakes up] Oh my bod!
Jake: [Wakes up] What is it, boyi?!
Finn: ...Glob is dead.

[Above Mars, the fleet of ships saw the explosion]

Evacuation Man: [On a walkie-talkie] Hello, Star Man, this is Evacuation Man, what's the sitch, can we go back yet?
Star Man: [On walkie-talkie] Yes! Gob Glob Grod Grob diverted the comet, it's back on its normal path to Earth.
Evacuation Man: And what about the G-Man?
Star Man: No sign of Glob.
Evacuation Man: [Takes off his hat and lowers it in respect] [The comet passes by]

[As it appears, the "comet" is really a star cruiser... and inside this ship's bridge is Finn's father, Martin.]

Martin: Ahh! Computer! What did we hit?! [No good - the computer spouts gibberish then explodes, no doubt from the heavy damage inflicted by Grob Gob Glob Grod's sacrifice.] Oh, blobs... [recovers and looks out the window] oh, for real blobs... [He is quickly approaching Earth]
Finn: [to Jake] Hey, I think Bounce House Princess needs our help.
Jake: [thumbs up] Let's do it!
Episode ends