This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Apple Wedding" from season 5, which aired on January 13th, 2014.
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This transcript is incomplete
Transcript
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- [Cinnamon Bun, in a tuxedo, walks while carrying a tray of apple cider to Princess Bubblegum.]
- Princess Bubblegum: Cinnamon Bun, what the heck are you doing out in the woods?! I asked you twenty minutes ago to take these drinks around for us.
- Cinnamon Bun: Oh, oh, "around for us". I thought you said "walk to the zoo and back!"
- Princess Bubblegum: Gob [smacks forehead.]
- [Cinnamon Bun walks away and Princess Bubblegum sighs and follows him to Finn.]
- Princess Bubblegum: Finn, Cinnamon Bun's gonna attend your juice bar now. I have a special job for you.
- [Finn walks out.]
- Princess Bubblegum: As Ooo's greatest champion, I'm relying on you to keep Lumpy Space Princess from crashing this wedding. I went ahead and deputized you [hands a badge to Finn] so you know, no holds barged, got it?
- Finn: [giggles] Yeah. Oh, what about Jake?
- Princess Bubblegum: Well, honestly I haven't seen Jake this happy in a while.
- [Jake is being tickled by 5 baby pigs.]
- Princess Bubblegum: I kinda don't want squash his groove.
- [Princess Bubblegum opens a door.]
- Princess Bubblegum: Knock knock. Hey Tree Trunks.
- Tree Trunks: Oh, hey princess. Wow, you look like a seeping cup in a snowbank.
- Princess Bubblegum: [giggles and closes the door behind her] Thanks, Tree Trunks. Now listen, I don't want you to worry about a thing. I've got Finn on L.S.P. Deputy and we're keeping your ex-husbands, Randy, Dandy and Wyatt a hundred feet apart at all times, at least until it's time for me to perform the ceremony.
- Tree Trunks: Oh well, I appreciate your generosity when all is trouble to hijack my wedding and all but you can't perform the ceremony.
- Princess Bubblegum: What?! Why not?
- Tree Trunks: Uh well, I'm sorry but I just don't recognize your quote unquote authority on such matters. I can only be married by his holiness, the one true king of Ooo.
- Princess Bubblegum: WHAT? That fraud?!
- Tree Trunks: Now I know...
- Princess Bubblegum: That fraud is here?!
- Tree Trunks: Why yes, but...
- [Princess Bubblegum leaves and slams the door.]
- Tree Trunks: Oh dear. Mama, I'm afraid I've offended the princess.
- Tree Trunks' mother: Oh nonsense, baby. She's probably jealous 'cause you're about to marry a handsome, fine, saucy man. Oh, but he's a fine saucy bologna factory. Mmm .
- Tree Trunks: Mama, please, please don't call him a saucy fine baloney factory!
- Tree Trunkss' mother: Bologna factory, bologna factory, bologna factory.
- Tree Trunks: Oh what else could go wrong?
- [Meanwhile, the King of Ooo is outside with Mr. Pig's relatives.]
- King of Ooo: Please, go on. Describe the next thought form.
- Mr. Pig's relative: Umm... let's see... radish green blotches.
- King of Ooo: Ah... ahaha! [taps the relative with his wand] One year of good luck.
- [Mr. Pig's relatives are all amused. Meanwhile, Princess Bubblegum is hiding by a bush and is spying on the King of Ooo.]
- Princess Bubblegum: I've waited a long time for this King of Ooo, and now I'm gonna expose you in front of everyone for what you really are!
- [Meanwhile BMO is having fun spinning herself in a chair.]
- BMO: Yay! [giggles]
- Wyatt: Heyya, Barky, can I have another one of these ciders?
- Cinnamon Bun: Sure! [takes out the bottle of apple cider and tries to do a trick but has difficulty taking the cork out.]
- Wyatt: Hey, little robot. How ye doing?
- BMO: I am the best! I love weddings, I love flowers! I love LOVE!
- Wyatt: Hey, did you know I used to be married to Tree Trunks?
- BMO: No!
- Wyatt: Hehe... it's just me and T-T. We had some wild times back in the day. Did you know I once taught her to play tennis?
- BMO: No...
- Wyatt: Yep, tennis! I took her in one of those... uh... paddles... or whatever, you know!
- BMO: No.
- Wyatt: Yeah, she left me. She said I was stifling her spirit... I mean hehe... not enough tennis for ya?
- BMO: No.
- [Mr Pig's relative runs and pushes another guest down.]
- Mr. Pig's relative: It's starting! The ceremony is starting! [snorts]
- [The scene moves to the wedding ceremony.]
- [King of Ooo signals Jake to start playing music. Jake prepares to play his viola and his toe presses the play button of the radio. He plays the viola and the pig throws flower petals from her basket. All the guests turn to Tree Trunks, who is holding a bouquet of flowers. Mr. Pig's eyes begin to water and he wipes it off.]
- BMO: [gasp] Oh no! I'm missing the love! [gets off her stool]
- Wyatt: No! Uh, please stay here! This is cathartic, you're a good listener.
- BMO: Oh, okay... [sits down again]
- [Tree Trunks walk to Mr. Pig]
- Mr Pig: Sweetie, you look so nice.
- Tree Trunks: Sh...
- [Finn is watching from afar.]
- Finn: Sounds really sweet.
- [Finn hears some noises from the bushes and gets up.]
- Finn: Lumpy Space Princess? Is that you?
- Lumpy Space Princess: Not me at all, till then let's party...
- [A crow flies out, frightening Finn.]
- Finn: It's not your party, L.S.P. [tries to find Lumpy Space Princess.]
- Lumpy Space Princess: Poor Finn, don't you know? [flies up from a picnic basket. The wind blows the picnic mat off Lumpy Space Princess, revealing her in a wedding dress.] Every party is my party.
- [Finn grunts and walks towards Lumpy Space Princess. Meanwhile, Jake is playing the viola, with the 5 baby pigs sleeping around his feet. The camera then moves to a blimp and Princess Bubblegum is climbing a ladder to get in.]
- Princess Bubblegum: I'm just gonna look in this guy's blimp. [gets on the top of the ladder and tries to unlock the door] Make sure everything's in accordance...[breaks open the window and opens the door] with the laws.
- Mr. Pig: Psst... sweetie, what are ye doing?
- [Tree Trunks is walking back and far away is Finn and Lumpy Space Princess. Finn tries to block Lumpy Space Princess's way.]
- Lumpy Space Princess: Get out of my way, Finn. [pushes Finn] Oh my glob, you're touching a woman's body!
- [Tree Trunks walks to the stage.]
- King of Ooo: Okay dear, now up you come.
- Tree Trunks: Don't hurry this. [is about to take a step on the stage and King of Ooo lifts her up and brings her on stage.]
- King of Ooo: There you go!
- [Mr Pig and Tree Trunks kiss for a while but King of Ooo push them back.]
- King of Ooo: Ooh kids, we gotta finish the ceremony first. Keep the baby in the basket!
- [Lumpy Space Princess tries to get to the ceremony as Finn is pulling her by the dress.]
- Lumpy Space Princess: Everyone get the party ready! 'Cause here comes the hot bunch of grapes!
- [Finn's foot meets a rock and managed to stop Lumpy Space Princess. He flings her to a tent.]
- Lumpy Space Princess: Ahhhh... oh my gaaaah...
- King of Ooo: We've gathered here on this beautiful day, under my life-giving sun, to celebrate the enjoyment of Mr. Pig and Tree Trunks, the little elephant. These two weird animals...
- [BMO is still watching from afar.]
- BMO: I bet some cute weddings are happening over there.
- [Cinnamon Bun is still having some difficulty taking the cork out.]
- Wyatt: [sighs] BMO, you're so nice.
- BMO: Those flowers look really cold.
- Wyatt: I had a hard life. People seem cute. They seem nice. And then you can't stop crying because they beat you in tennis that one time, they call you a baby.
- BMO: Yeah, cute nice babies.
- Wyatt: BMO.
- BMO: Uh huh?
- Wyatt: Would you move in with me?
- gasps loudly as her eyes widen. She runs into the bushes.]