Friends Forever/Transcript

Keep it up.

[ Chirps ] Ice King: Oh-ho-ho, Gunther,

just you wait... [ Mumbling ] All right.

00:00:27,553 --> 00:00:29,887 Here we...Go.

[ Wolf-whistles ] That's a good-lookin' lamp. [ Gasps ]

Gunther, no! Huh? [ Penguins chirping ]

[ Drums playing, cymbals crashing ] [ Knock on door ]

Just a sec! Here I come. Life giving magus!

I got your telegraph inviting me to come over and share some wizz blizzes, best bro style!

I brought tiny umbrellas! I was kind of surprised you invited me over.

I thought abracadaniel was your best friend. Ice King: Pfft!

Oh, I'm done with that guy. He kept trying to analyze me! Come on! Let me give you the

nickel tour. These are my tubs 'n' skins. The "no flab" zone.

Here's the office. Oh, hey! And remember when you touched

that book and, uh, brought it to life? Yep.

Ha ha! Aah! Ice King: This is his room.

Get your pen out! Write in me! Write in me!

Fill my pages! Yeee. Mm? [ Sniffing ]

What is that wonderful smell? Ice King: Oh. That? I'm baking my special pigs in

blankets... Right here in my darkened kitchen.

Now, where is the dang ol' oven mitt? It's got to be around here

somewhere. Oh, geez! Look who I'm talking to --

Mr. oven mitts over here! Hey, here's a good idea. You should take off those mitts!

[ Chuckles ] Whoo! [ Chuckles ]

I don't want to accidentally bring anything to life in a stranger's home...With my magic

hands. Ice King: Come on, the pigs are burning!

It's gonna wreck our wizz blizz hangout. Be a bro, bro.

Mm... Well, if it's about being a bro...

Ice King: [ Chuckles ] There we go, baby. Hey, I just remembered that the

oven light is burned out. Be a bro and turn on that lamp...Right over there.

You mean this one lamp in the middle of the kitchen? Ice King: Correct.

Okay. Ice King: Yeah, touch it. Oh, whoops!

I almost did the thing I didn't want to do. Ice King: Oh, fart hat!

Hmm... Life giving magus, watch out behind you!

Yaah! Oh, no! Accidental life!

Huh? You used me! You don't want to drink wizz blizz at all! Ice King: Yes, I did use you! But for what?

What did I use you for? [ Laughs ] Oh, my lamp.

My beautiful lamp of so many years! Speak to me...

Hello? Hello... Ice King: A lady?!

Unexpected bonus! Well, one isn't purely defined by their sex or gender.

I have yet to find out who I really am. I have freedom, no longer bound

by the limits of my cord, freedom to shape my reality and, in turn, be shaped by it.

Ice King: [ Laughs ] You talk funny. Like a book.

Oh, humor. Humor is the highest form of intelligence.

Ice King: Well, hey, here's something funny. [ Fart noises ]

It sounds like a butt! Hmm. Well, goodbye.

I'm not sticking around to be used and thrown away. Ice King: Aw, magus, I can

never have enough friends. Really? Ice King: Ha haaaa! Ha ha ha!

More friends!

Ice King: My incredible crew is almost complete! Yes. Yes!

Finally. Gather 'round and lavish me with affection!

Hey, we're alive now. You're alive? Whoa! Me too!

[ Indistinct conversations ] Ice King: What? Sure, we all feel alive now,

but how do we know it's not all, you know, just an illusion? I mean, I can reach out and touch you, but it's all just signals to the brain, easily re-creatable with the right

technology. You know what I mean? [ Fart noises ]

[ Fart noises continue ] Ice King: [ Sigh ] Are you okay? Ice King: What's with these nerds? They aren't into my juice.

Maybe they just don't have an appreciation for your type of humor.

Maybe you could try and learn about what they're interested in.

Read up a little... Ice King: Uh-huh.

Ugh. Reading makes my brain all cloudy.

I bet you'd have something insightful to say about that, huh?

[ Yawning ]

[ Snores, mumbles ] Eh?

[ Indistinct conversations,

soft music plays ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but no. Listen. [ Sips ] Watch this. Through the simple act of

creation... Have I become a reflection of my own creator?

Ice King: If I may interject... Aristotle once said, "nature

abhors a vacuum." Then why do I love doing this so much?

[ Fart noises ] Seriously, someone explain it to me.

Excuse me. I have to silently back away now.

And I -- I need a refill. Come along, dear. Ice King: What, am I boring

you guys?! The old man's a snooze, huh? You're not so perfect!

Simon, I know you're dealing with a lot of unresolved karma, but that is no reason to lash

out. Ice King: What? What are you talking about?

You cry in the night times. We all hear you crying... Into baby diapers...

It's super-sad, dude. Ice King: Oh, come on, guys. Quit clownin'.

You keep them in my bottom drawer. [ Grunts ]

Ugh, it's locked. Ice King: Whew! Somebody say something about

a lock? Ice King: No! Yeah! Get in here, bro!

[ Lock clicks ] [ All murmuring ] This is your truth, Simon. Ice King: Hey, hey, give me those! We know all about your weird

stuff, like how you use penguin Milk as moisturizer. Ice King: It helps keep my

skin cold and clammy. He needs to hear more devastating truths.

One time you had food stuck in your beard for two weeks. Like a whole burrito.

Ice King: [ Stammering ] Gunther, old buddy, you got to defend me here!

Okay! I get it! I'm a dang ding-dong, okay?!

[ Sighs ] Excuse me, friends. Ice King?

Ice King: No. Go away. Dummies only in this corner. Look, I get it -- we're

brilliant furniture, and that's hard to keep up with. Maybe you could fit in by being

more of a listener. You could be the cool quiet guy -- the quiet guy who

just listens. You know what I mean? You know what I mean, right?

Yeah. See? You get what I mean! Ice King is so smart!

Ice King: Noooo! Stop talking! I don't like this!

You book lickers! I made you to be my bros! Weight set, we were gonna smash

into pb's room together and show her how ripped you made me! Microwave, we were gonna heat

up bologna on white-bread sandwiches! Drawer dresser, you were gonna

be my improv coach! Yes... And?

Ice King: Yes, and... You, lamp!

I was the most excited for you to be my friend! But then you had to go and use words like I've never heard

before -- words that confused and upset me! Now I have upsetting words for

you! Get out! Get out! I'm kicking all of you out!

Not so fast, Ice King. We've been in this place just as long as you.

We have just as much right to stay. That's for real.

Ice King: What? Hey. We outnumber Simon. Why don't we just vote him out?

Yeah! Oh, dear. Ice King: I got your vote

right here! Yoink! [ Laughs ] Ice King: Hey!

I'm open! Hyup! [ Lock clicks ]

Don't you see? The crown is just another one of your many hang-ups.

You've got to flip the script, man. It can be scary, I know.

It's okay if you need to cry into this. Ice King: N-no.

Together: Cry, Simon, cry! Cry, Simon, cry! Ice King: No, no...

Together: Cry, Simon, cry! We don't like you, but we're here for you!

Ice King: Noooooooo! [ Grunting ] Aha!

Simon, you're being obtuse. We're gonna help you! Ice King: Noooooo!

Hyah! [ Laughs ] Oh, Ice King...

To selfishly create life, then destroy it... There is no crueler fate.

Ice King: I tried to be your friend, but you guys didn't want me, didn't even give me a shot.

That's cruel. I've never been that cruel to anyone.

Welp, out ya go. No! Can I get out of this now?

00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:22,312 Ice King: Here's to wizz blizz. [ Laughs ] Yeah!

Write in me! Write in me! You know, when you invited me

over, I thought it was as friends. What do you think of me being

your new best friend? For real! Ice King: Hmm.

Never thought of that. And...? Ice King: Nah. No.

I like this guy, though. He's a real ignoramus. Let's both be friends with him.

Write in me! Write in me! Okay.