Five Short Tables/Transcript

Get back here, you worm!

12 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,738     What?! The last chapter of "Cosmic Kissing"?

13 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,974 My stirring lyrical interlude

14 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,709        from "Fionna Goes to the Market"?

15 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:46,578        The epilogue from "Flame Prince Breaks a Sweat"?!

16 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,713 [ Gasps ]

17 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:51,717     Who gave you permission to edit my fan fiction?!

18 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,719     Prepare to be punished!

19 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,020          But first...

20 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,488        what'd ya think?

21 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,322 Wenk!

22 00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:58,690 Great critique!

23 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,492 [ Zap! ]

24 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,194 Wenk.

25 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,595     I don't need an editor.

26 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,698      I'm my own editor -- editor-in-king!

27 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,000 Wenk. Wenk!

28 00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,869         Wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk!

29 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:13,172      Ooh! My custom tape!

30 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,276 Remix!

31 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,777        [ Clears throat ]

32 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,213        "Sunlight gleamed        through the window

33 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:24,950     as Fionna sat patiently at the breakfast table."

34 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,518     [ Humming ]

35 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,753 Hah!

36 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:31,190      Check out my sweet flippin' moves.

37 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:33,425 You're a real ace in the kitchen.

38 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:37,129    Roar! Ha ha!

39 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:38,297 Cooking is fun!

40 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,099 Here come the flapjacks!

41 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,034 Know what's better than cooking?

42 00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,735 No! Wha?!

43 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,271 These are narrative flapjacks.

44 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:49,408          Darlin', don't you see the brilliant comedy laid out before you?

45 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,877 You wouldn't eat Act II before Act I, silly.

46 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:55,481          Now try starting with the dockworker having a moral crisis.

47 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,949 Okay.

48 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,218     This...one?

49 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:02,588  Fionna, this character doesn't      serve any thematic purpose

50 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,423 until much later in the meal.

51 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,291    Sorry, Cake, but these just look like

52 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:09,228   formless blobs of sweet flapjack to me.

53 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,629 Mmm...

54 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,763 It's true.

55 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,266           Maybe if I based them off real people,

56 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,934       do some "life cooking" --

57 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,936           nonfiction flapjacks!

58 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:21,440 Let's go griddle up portraits of the entire kingdom!

59 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,009          Got to get my supplies together.

60 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,578          My portable griddle...

61 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,346 Mmm.

62 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,314 Some peppermint eggs...

63 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,650 and the twice-cursed flour!

64 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:32,651 Got it!

65 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,353 Ready for stories and flapjacks?

66 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,321      Heck yes!

67 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,024        You're wasting me           on breakfast!

68 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:42,461 Fionna and Cake: No one asked you, Flour Demon.

69 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:45,164   That was like a cookbook...

70 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,966      written by a genius.

71 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,801 On to the next chapter --

72 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,170 "A Game of Gumball."

73 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:54,806 Prince Gumball would probs make a great flapjack model.

74 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,441 Sometimes he gets so absorbed in his work

75 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,777 that he doesn't move for days.

76 00:02:58,779 --> 00:02:59,811 Ooooh!

77 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,614   I can break out the pink sea salt and --

78 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,316 Hey, there's Gumball!

79 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,551       [ Papers rustling ] Uh...

80 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,019      Gumball: Is it here?

81 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,454 No. No.

82 00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:12,324      Ah! Just what I need!

83 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:15,194       The periodic table of candy elements!

84 00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:19,198        If I use this one and this one here...

85 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,668 Ha ha! The perfect strategy!

86 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,403 Hyup!

87 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:29,741       [ Inhales sharply ]

88 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:33,011    Butterscotch Butler, the butterscotch Scottish butler,

89 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,280        I challenge you!

90 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:38,150 [ Sighs ] [ Scottish accent ] Again?

91 00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:41,486 I've gathered all the necessary strategy and tactics

92 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,589 to finally defeat you!

93 00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,865 To play, one must know strategy, yes.

94 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:59,705   But to know victory, one must also know their opponent!

95 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:00,839      Opponent?

96 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,407 Their dreams...

97 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,977          ...their ambitions....

98 00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:08,080          ...their rrrregrets...

99 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,514           [ Hisses ]

100 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:11,850 ...and their fears!

101 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:16,321   M-My mortality!

102 00:04:17,056 --> 00:04:18,056            [ Pop! ]

103 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,058 Byeeee!

104 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,193 King me.

105 00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:22,728     [ Growls ]

106 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,129          [ Both gasp ] [ Glass shatters ]

107 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:27,499 Maybe we should find someone a little more relaxed.

108 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,636 How?! How did you know?!

109 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:31,737 Huh?

110 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:35,240 Oh. You leave that lying around everywhere.

111 00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:36,842     [ Scoffs ]

112 00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:45,450        Yes!

113 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:51,023          [ Sizzling ]

114 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,959 Still not quite right.

115 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,895 How about this for some inspiration?

116 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:57,929     [ Hisses ]

117 00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,465 Pancakes and flapjacks are nothing alike!

118 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,500 [ Groans ]

119 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,168 Aw, Cake.

120 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:07,072   It's just that flapjack literature is such a niche genre,

121 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,841 and none of my flapjacks are turning out any good.

122 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,176 Come on, Cake.

123 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:14,179      We've still got 10 minutes before the library closes.

124 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,682 It's Flame Prince!

125 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:19,418 What's that fire hazard doing in the library?

126 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,419 Hmm?

127 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:21,720 Oh, no!

128 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,623 Oh! I love that author!

129 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,991    Have you read her newest book?

130 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,360   I-I could, uh, find it for you.

131 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,629 Oh. Uh, n-nah, that's okay.

132 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,297 I'll just start with this one.

133 00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:33,498 Thanks, though.

134 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,100 Uh -- Aah!

135 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,468           Oh. Sorry about that.

136 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,103     Uh -- Uh -- W-w-w-- W-w-w-- Eh...

137 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,539 No, no, no, no, no! Hot, hot, hot!

138 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:45,110 Wow. I am not graceful today.

139 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,478 N-Not the first editions!

140 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,479       Ow, ow!

141 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,081     Ow, ow, ow!

142 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:55,153       Easy...

143 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,154        Unh!

144 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,823           [ Foosh! ]

145 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,224     Gah! Huh?!

146 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:02,661 Leaving, yes?

147 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,663 Yeah. I'll borrow this one, please.

148 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:08,133 Of course! I'll just need you to sign it out.

149 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,901          [ Sizzling ]

150 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,503 [ Both scream ]

151 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,571      [ Sighs ]

152 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,839     I'm sorry.

153 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,375 I have a duty to serve the library's patrons,

154 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:19,511 but I'm also sworn to protect the books.

155 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,314 I can't in good conscience let you take it home.

156 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:26,818  But maybe I could read this book to you?

157 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,355     Listen, I just came in here to use the bathroom, man.

158 00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:33,859     I thought you had to, like, check out a book first to pee.

159 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,528          Actually, I don't even have a library card.

160 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,029    [ Laughing ]

161 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,898        [ Both laughing ]

162 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,100           [ Whoosh! ]

163 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,103           [ Panting ]

164 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,038 Lumpy Space Prince!

165 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,441          [ Coughing ]

166 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:51,376 [ Gasps ]

167 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,577           [ Groans ]

168 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:56,214       Lumpy Spaaaace Priiiince!

169 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,616  [ Coughs softly ]

170 00:06:57,618 --> 00:07:00,285 Come on. You've been coughing for five days.

171 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,586 Just take one tablespoon.

172 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,955 Uh... B-Bumpy Space Prince?

173 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,891 Uh, there's no one here by that name.

174 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,592 Then who am I talking to?

175 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,061  Uh, this is Ja-- Jack.

176 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,730    [ Coughs ] Huh.

177 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:15,233           Well, if you're Jack, then I'mmmm...

178 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,735 MMMMichael Dean.

179 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,070           Yeah. And I'm looking for this beautiful prince.

180 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,606 I got to give him this...magic potion!

181 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,476 See, he was cursed by this evil snot gnoll.

182 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,744 Really?

183 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,546 The snot gnoll transformed him

184 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,549       into a totally disgusting mucus monster.

185 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,750 What?! No, I'm not!

186 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,251 [ Gasps ] Did you hear that?

187 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,486 Huh? What is it?!

188 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,054 It's -- It's --

189 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,589 [ Roars ]

190 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,090 It's the snot gnoll!

191 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,793 [ Growling ]

192 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,928 Aah!

193 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,263 Uh-oh! It's coming towards your tree, Jack!

194 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,932     [ Grunts ] I'm stuck!

195 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,600 I'll protect you, beautiful prince!

196 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:49,801       [ Heavy footsteps ]

197 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,236           Step off, snot gnoll!

198 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,437           [ Crash! ]

199 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,672 Get him, Michael Dean!

200 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,440          [ Crash! ] Gah! It got me!

201 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,441 Ugh!

202 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:57,476 No!!

203 00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:58,743           [ Thump! ] [ Grunts ]

204 00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,512          I got one last hit in!

205 00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:01,947      [ Heavy footsteps ] I-It's running away!

206 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,282   [ Footsteps soften, fade ]

207 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,617 [ Sighs, coughs ]

208 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,352 I think this is the end for me.

209 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,254 Rally, Michael Dean!

210 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,622     [ Grunts ]

211 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:11,923 [ Pop! ]

212 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,595 [ Voice breaking ] It's...too late for me, beautiful prince.

213 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,829 Take the potion.

214 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,998 [ Voice breaking ] Take it and live.

215 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,299 Live!

216 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,101 [ Groans ]

217 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,804 I won't let your sacrifice be wasted.

218 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,138 [ Glug! Glug! ]

219 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,274       [ Glass shatters ]

220 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,842 See? No more coughing.

221 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,712     Hey, yeah. Actually, I do feel better.

222 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,881      [ Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! ]

223 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:36,882 Wow.

224 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:39,384 Maybe that was the wrong potion.

225 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,587 Much better!

226 00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:49,461  Ice Queen: Lounged atop their comfortable sense of ennui,

227 00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:52,631       Flynn the human being and Jacques the raccoon

228 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:56,334 listened to the Ice President read his fiction.

229 00:08:56,336 --> 00:09:00,639 "Lynn the person looked at Janet  and asked, 'Am I my feelings?

230 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:03,008           Do I exist because I can't stop feeling?'

231 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,843   Janet the fox answered her.

232 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,478      'Feelings are action,

233 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,848   and like all mortal action, they are doomed to failure.'"

234 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,883 Flynn and Jacques sighed.

235 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,152        They totally got it.

236 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,320 The end!

237 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,355     What do you guys think? Too philosophical?

238 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,324         [ Flute plays ]  [ Penguins chanting "Wenk!" ]

239 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:20,325           [ Groans ]

240 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,093 Out of my way!

241 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:25,163 Blazin' blueberries -- comin' through!

242 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,699  [ Penguins chanting "Wenk!" ]

243 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,368 You're ruining my literary reading!

244 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,736 Oh, hey, Ice Queen.

245 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,772  Do you want Cake to make your flapjack portrait?

246 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,207 Why, ye-- No! I mean no!

247 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:39,210 Why don't we table this for now, so I can...

248 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,379 destroy you!

249 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:42,881    Hang on to your turkeys,

250 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,884    because I'm about to make the toughest flapjack ever.

251 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,686   Some purple chicken milk...

252 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,120      dramatic cornmeal...

253 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,255       NOoooo!

254 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,091          And the tears of this reflective turtle.

255 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,728 [ Whispering ] You will outlive everyone you love.

256 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,964        [ Normal voice ] Cry for me, little mama!

257 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,900          [ Sizzling ]

258 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,735          Here, Fionna!

259 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:04,736           [ Shing! ]

260 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,104 Tasty!

261 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,907 Hey, Ice Queen, I really liked your story.

262 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,208          The imagery was tight.

263 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,744   Can you bElieve it was my first draft?!

264 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,679 No way!

265 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,249 Gotcha!

266 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,719            I call it "Portrait of an Author."

267 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:21,920 [ Chuckles ]

268 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,888 I really did like her story, though.

269 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,791 I wonder how that Ice President got elected.

270 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,763           Talk about life imitating art.

271 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,965       Gunter, did you see what Daddy did?

272 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,267          Did you guess the secret theme?

273 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,268 Wenk!

274 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,937       No! You're way off!

275 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,406 Fionna and Cake were at the breakfast table.

276 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:44,175        Gumball consulted the periodic table.

277 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:47,445 Flame Prince set fire to the table of contents.

278 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,682       The...purple thing had a tablespoon of syrup.

279 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,586       And Ice Queen...did a tabley thing, too, probably.

280 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:55,787 Wenk!

281 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,489           They're not like regular stories.

282 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,690        They're shorter.

283 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:01,292 I'll call them...grabl--

284 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,428          No -- tables!

285 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,529 Wenk.

286 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,100           [ Slurps ]

287 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:14,339    I'll never look at tables the same way again.