Hot Diggity Doom/Transcript

[ hammering ]

12 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,173 [ Sighs ]

13 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:44,243 [ Heavy breathing ]

14 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,145 [ Cage rattling ]

15 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,780 [ Grunting ]

16 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:51,050 Raaaah! Raaah! Come on!

17 00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:55,254 Get ready, toids!

18 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:56,355 Raaah!

19 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,724 I'm mean as a bus, and I'm mad as rocks!

20 00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,992 Gumball guardians!

21 00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:01,693 There's an enemy at the gates!

22 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,263 I'm an all-you-can-eat maniac!

23 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,498 Whoops! Aw, come on!

24 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,502 Ooh, ooh, ooh!

25 00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:13,505 Candy person: Whoopee! [ Crowd cheering ]

26 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:16,175 [ Crowd murmuring ]

27 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:20,112 Thank you, little candies. Thank you.

28 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:27,252 You warm the wax heart of this poor king of ooo!

29 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,854 Now, I hear you asking,

30 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:33,058 "king of ooo, how can you be so wise?"

31 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,193 I'll tell you how.

32 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:38,330 Did you know that I am 8,000 years old?

33 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,665 Could be.

34 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,667 [ Crowd cheering ]

35 00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:42,534 It's true.

36 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,536 I'm that wonderful.

37 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,605 [ Lens clicks ]

38 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:51,643 Now, princess bubblegum -- she says she hasn't gone rogue.

39 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:56,315 She says she's not a wild dog thirsty for blood.

40 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:59,351 She says she's not a literal baby

41 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:02,488 masquerading as an adult woman.

42 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,256 She says a lot of things.

43 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:08,861 Princess bubblegum, you don't make sense!

44 00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:09,761 [ Crowd cheering ]

45 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:12,598 This guy's really working on me.

46 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,133 Ennnh...

47 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:18,871 Yes, dear? Do you have something to say?

48 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:19,605 Mm-hmm.

49 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,774 I'm James' mother, Mrs. James.

50 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:26,879 My son got turned into a mutant mass

51 00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:30,349 and was exiled to the badlands

52 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,652 by princess bubblegum.

53 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,154 [ Crowd boos ]

54 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:36,955 Trehh! Boo.

55 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:40,759 Who isn't mad about their mutant children?

56 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,694 Candy dude: What about sweet p, king of ooo?

57 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,898 You threatened to burn down his mama's orchard.

58 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,367 I did. That is true.

59 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:52,271 Sweet p, I was like a cornered animal.

60 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,806 "I knew no' what thy doone."

61 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,176 I'm sorry, sweet p.

62 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,278 Here.

63 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,346 Psst -- give me a kiss.

64 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:01,947 [ Smooches ]

65 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:04,449 Do you hear us, princess bubblegum?

66 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,351 Do you hear us?!

67 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,819 Shhhhhhhhut up.

68 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:11,190 [ Door opens ] Peppermint Butler: Princess, I'm sorry to disturb you,

69 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:14,226 but I feel that you must campaign.

70 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,395 The candy people are real dumb.

71 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,932 I'm studying something that could be real important.

72 00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:21,733 Dah! This dumb election.

73 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:22,568 It's not even --

74 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,437 [ yawning ] I mean, it's barely even --

75 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,305 [ yawns ]

76 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,339 ...barely even legal.

77 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:31,243 "A barely and yet fully legal election" --

78 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:33,645 that's what my campaign manager told me.

79 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,247 Let's hear it for him --

80 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,248 Mr. x!

81 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,883 [ Laughs ] Weird, right?

82 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,551 [ Crowd cheering ]

83 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:43,789 And even being legal, I mean, I made everyone.

84 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:44,823 I made their homes.

85 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:48,727 The candy people are mercurial, but they're not dillweeds.

86 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,530 And this definitely legal election

87 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:56,768 is in the jam-covered fingers of you, the people --

88 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,303 the candies.

89 00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,738 [ Grunts ]

90 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,505 So, go.

91 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,342 Vote with your hearts. Vote with your minds.

92 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:08,814 Vote for the candidate who's not a teenage gum-golem.

93 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,984 I mean, they know that I love them.

94 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,785 And the votes are in.

95 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:17,589 King of ooo is our new princess.

96 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,891 [ All cheering ]

97 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:20,792 Hey, hey!

98 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,694 Princess bubblegum: What?!

99 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,397 [ Rapid footsteps ]

100 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,332 Whaaaaat?!

101 00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,368 You dillweeds!

102 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,469 You're a dillweed,

103 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,570 you're a dillweed's secretary,

104 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:34,640 and you're probably some dillweed I've never met!

105 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,742 You're three dillweeds being dillweeds,

106 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:41,346 and you're going to dillweed this place into the ground!

107 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,382 And you --

108 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:49,354 [ growls ]

109 00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,295 Princess! Princess!

110 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,530 I don't know what a dillweed is.

111 00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,631 Hey, pb, what's the plan?

112 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,566 We pledged our allegiance to you.

113 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,735 Your allegiance is to the kingdom.

114 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,470 [ Sighs ] Dudes, I don't know.

115 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,373 I don't know when I'll be back in charge --

116 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,708 if I'll be back in charge.

117 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,877 I need you both to stick around here

118 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,613 and make sure the candy people are safe,

119 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:17,249 even if it means working for a wad.

120 00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:20,519 Auf wiedersehen, meine champions.

121 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,653 Mwah.

122 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,689 Mwah.

123 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,793 [ Bells ringing ]

124 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,895 [ Crowd cheering ]

125 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:37,703 There's a new golden and waxy mornin'

126 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,037 good times a-comin'

127 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,205 you've got your warning

128 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:43,709 there's cheap healthcare, the workcamp's there

129 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:46,945 the general tone is laissez-faire

130 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,848 I'm a princess, I'm a princess

131 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,085 I'm a priiiinceeeess

132 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,786 [ pop ]

133 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,893 [ Peppermint Butler grunting ]

134 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,762 [ Lock rattling ]

135 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,964 What's up, peps?

136 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,300 It's stuck.

137 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,470 [ Grunts ]

138 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,905 [ Strains ]

139 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,741 [ Clatter ]

140 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,677 [ Wood clattering ]

141 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,946 [ Bats screeching ]

142 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,614 Ho, no, no, no, no!

143 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,516 It's okay, everyone. It's okay.

144 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:27,619 Close your eyes and repeat your safety mantra --

145 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:31,523 hoodie hoodie hoodup, hoodie hoodie hoodup, hoodie --

146 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,392 peppermint Butler: Princess? Huh?

147 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:33,992 Oh. Sorry, peps.

148 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:38,029 I'm just so used to having my citizens around to protect.

149 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,565 This is gonna take some getting used to.

150 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,668 Permission to speak freely, ma'am?

151 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,136 Granted.

152 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:45,804 This horrible dump does not meet

153 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:49,841 the level of fancy to which I have become accustomed.

154 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:50,876 Noted.

155 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:51,643 Also, fyi --

156 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:55,013 my Uncle gumbald built this cabin with his bare hands.

157 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,749 I spent my summers here when I was younger.

158 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,752 Anyway, it'll probably take a really long time

159 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,521 for the candy people to realize

160 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,856 a bad ruler is worse than a good ruler.

161 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:08,827 Plenty of time to spruce this place up.

162 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:14,599 Whew!

163 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,003 Starchy thought life would be better under the king of ooo,

164 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,672 but now there's even more stuff to sweep.

165 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,807 [ Sighs ] Poor old starchy.

166 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,443 Always getting the sweaty end of the lollipop.

167 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,511 Hey, starchy. What are you doing -- sweeping?

168 00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:28,547 Oh, uh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.

169 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,649 Suh-wee-ee-eepin'.

170 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,950 Yeah. Mm.

171 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,886 Hey, is it me, or is getting purpler out here?

172 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:35,654 Oh, yeah.

173 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,522 I think that's the catalyst comet.

174 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,125 Guess it's getting pretty close or whatever.

175 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,159 Jake: Getting close?

176 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,761 Should we evacuate or...

177 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,830 What? No, no. It's cool, I think.

178 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:48,066 It's just here to, like, shake things up, you know? It's okay.

179 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,769 We've got sort of a -- a relationship.

180 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,873 C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-comet?!

181 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,542 Oh, starchy don't feel good about this.

182 00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:58,977 Starch? Eht.

183 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,080 Starchy's mind is burdened.

184 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,915 Oh, Mrs. gumdrop! He's coming.

185 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,251 The comet -- it's gonna snuff out all life as we know it.

186 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,686 Mrs. gumdrop: What?! Oh, good glob!

187 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,921 Shouldn't we try and calm them down?

188 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,156 Ehh, not after that whole

189 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:14,493 "knock my tower over onto the castle" thing.

190 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,694 A lot of guys got smooshed.

191 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:19,164 They need to hear it from someone they really trust.

192 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,932 King of ooo! King of ooo!

193 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,934 King of ooo? King of ooo?

194 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:23,668 King of ooo?

195 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,737 Wait, are you saying "king of ooo"?

196 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:26,638 What are you saying?

197 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,940 I thought it was "kinkoff goo."

198 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,141 [ Tapping ]

199 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,077 Hey. You hear that?

200 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,245 [ Tapping continues ]

201 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,113 Downstairs.

202 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,781 King of ooo?

203 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,617 King of ooo?

204 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,618 King of ooo!

205 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,753 [ Tapping continues ]

206 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:44,122 [ Ratcheting ]

207 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,056 What the --

208 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,591 it's that guy from before.

209 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,860 He's mucking around with pb's ship --

210 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,696 added all kinds of engines to it.

211 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,465 Hey!

212 00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:56,201 Hey, what do you think you're doing?

213 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,003 Pb don't let nobody touch her stuff --

214 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,238 not even me, and I'm cool -- least of all you,

215 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,741 you sauce-tasting Brian-sniffer -- whoa!

216 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,943 [ Gasps ] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

217 00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,978 Yeeh! Yeeh!

218 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,013 Whoa!

219 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:08,947 Uhhh!

220 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,616 [ Weakly ] No mercy, Jake.

221 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:15,620 [ Straining ]

222 00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:17,856 [ Chuckles ]

223 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,724 Aaaaah!

224 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,359 Hey, I'm back -- [ Gasps ]

225 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,296 What the bing bong ping pong?!

226 00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:26,197 Gunther?!

227 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:26,965 [ Chirps ]

228 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,701 What the king Kong sing song?!

229 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,570 Whoaaaa-- oof!

230 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,073 Sayonara, suckers!

231 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,109 [ Laughs evilly ]

232 00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:41,313 [ Crowd screaming ] Uhh...

233 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,714 [ Grunts ]

234 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,716 [ Grunts ] Candy person: Ugh!

235 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,319 Comet! Comet! Comet! Comet!

236 00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:49,154 Comet! Comet!

237 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,088 Oww!

238 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,957 Aaaaah!

239 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,291 [ Munching ]

240 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,161 Toronto, I've been princess for four hours,

241 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,797 and society has already totally collapsed.

242 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,966 Plus, now the sky is falling, I guess.

243 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:05,070 Is this possibly... Somehow my fault?

244 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:05,804 Pbbt!

245 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,739 No way! Okay, look.

246 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,375 Without your calming presence and selfless leadership,

247 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:13,211 this situation would have been a hundred times worse.

248 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:16,948 History will remember you as ooo's greatest hero.

249 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,850 As always, the voice of reason.

250 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:22,120 Once again, my saintly nature has compelled me,

251 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:25,290 unthinking, to assume the burdens of others.

252 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:29,060 But a true justice demands a true accounting.

253 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:33,198 And truly this is all bubblegum's fa-aa-aa-ault!

254 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,066 [ Rumbling ]

255 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:35,834 Oof!

256 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:40,038 Good glob! What no-o-o-o-o-w?

257 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:45,710 Looking good, peps.

258 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,779 Man, this feels kind of good, right?

259 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:51,716 It's like we're building a whole new kingdom from scratch,

260 00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:54,953 only without all my beloved citizens this time.

261 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:58,890 And their dull, pleading chicken eyes.

262 00:10:58,892 --> 00:10:59,858 Maybe the king of ooo

263 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,860 could hold down the fort for a little while.

264 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,062 I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

265 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,865 Anyway, I'm gonna get some fresh air.

266 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,099 B.R.B.

267 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:09,367 What the --

268 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,969 why's it so purple outsi--

269 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,737 [ explosion ]