Wizards Only, Fools

Synopsis
Starchy asks Princess Bubblegum to use magic to cure him, but she does not believe in magic.

Plot
In the Candy Kingdom hospital, Princess Bubblegum tries to heal Starchy of a cold with a serum, but Starchy is unwilling to be healed unless by means of magic. Princess Bubblegum asks Nurse Poundcake to hold him down, but declines due to her uncle being a magic worker and curing her of her sadness. Princess Bubblegum then explains that magic is just science "presented like mystical hoodoo." She proceeds to mock magic, which causes Nurse Poundcake and Starchy to be offended. She promises that she'll go to Wizard City to get a cold spell. She employs the help of Finn and Jake.

On the outside of Wizard City is a wall of rock. Jake stretches to look over, but says there's nothing but "more mountains." Finn tries to butt his head, but to no avail. Princess Bubblegum walks in with a tape recorder and explains that the wall is unlocked only with the voice of wizards. After an awkward recording between the Ice King and Bubblegum, he says the password, which is "Wizards Rule." This makes the wall fade away. Finn is astounded by the magic, but Princess Bubblegum believes it is just "a vocal registry rigged to a vibration modulator" and that "the density is all wobbled." Jake stretches and asks how Bubblegum would explain Jake's ability, which she calls a "mutation."

While in Wizard City, they see police interrogating a man impersonating a wizard and purchasing magic items from the town. He is transformed into a hollow stick for his crimes. Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum hurriedly rush into a shop to order a cold spell. The man behind the counter presents a crystal bottle. Bubblegum asks how the spell works, to which the man behind the counter responds with, "it works by magic. It's a spell." Bubblegum is hesitant to buy it and starts arguing with the man. He then calls their bluff and calls the police. They are on the run when they bump into Abracadaniel. Finn forces Abracadaniel and the others into a nearby door Abracadaniel walked out of.

In a cave underground, Bufo, the Laser Wizard, the Forest Wizard, and a hologram of the Ice King are discussing a sacrifice of Abracadaniel when he returns. The gang interrupts them by arriving on an elevator, and they are confronted by the wizards. When Finn and Jake plead with the wizards, the wizards threaten to kill them, but they are interrupted by the police, who tries to arrest the wizards for "harboring non-magic users." They escape, but leave Abracadaniel. Before the police can kill Finn, Jake, Princess Bubblegum and Abracadaniel, Princess Bubblegum orders to talk with the Grand Master Wizard.

In his palace, the Grand Master Wizard expresses his dissapointment with Princess Bubblegum and Abracadaniel. He says that they can go if she says "wizards rule." She refuses due to her belief that magic is just science and gets all four of them locked in jail. During breakfast the next morning, Abracadaniel challenges Princess Bubblegum to an "honorable prison stabbing to the death." Princess Bubblegum defeats Abracadaniel, but refuses to kill him. Finn throws Princess Bubblegum the cold spell, which is really just a spell that releases cold air.

Back at the hospital, Abracadaniel pretends to use healing magic on Starchy. As he is distracted by the magic, Finn holds him down as Princess Bubblegum injects Starchy with the healing serum from the beginning, ending the episode.

Major Characters

 * Finn
 * Jake
 * Princess Bubblegum
 * Abracadaniel

Minor Characters

 * Starchy
 * Nurse Poundcake
 * Stranson Doblo
 * Ron James
 * Ice King (as a hologram)
 * Bufo
 * Laser Wizard
 * Forest Wizard
 * Grand Master Wizard
 * Huntress Wizard (cameo)
 * Brain Wiz (cameo)
 * Lady Wizard 1 (cameo)
 * Lady Wizard 2 (cameo)
 * Wizard Students
 * Snail

Trivia

 * It is revealed in this episode that Princess Bubblegum considers Jake's shape-shifting powers as a mutation instead of actual magic.
 * This may be the second time she took off a suit and had a cyber suit underneath it. The first time was "Lady & Peebles."
 * When Princess Bubblegum and Abracadaniel fight, we see a character that looks like Furnace from "Ignition Point."

Episode connections

 * The title references a line from Ice King in "Reign of Gunters."
 * Princess Bubblegum has the same hairstyle from when she was 13 in "Mortal Recoil" and "Too Young."
 * Ice King continues to try and join the secret group of Bufo, Laser Wizard, and Forest Wizard as he did in "Reign of Gunters" by being invisible.
 * The prisoner outfits that all Wizard City prisoners wear in this episode resemble almost exactly the outfits worn by the Flying Lettuce Brothers in "One Last Job." This could mean that prior to the events of "One Last Job." they were both imprisoned here.
 * Finn comments on how it is hard to find anything due to the lack of signs, similar to what the Ice King states in "Reign of Gunters."
 * Grand Master Wizard mentions Princess Bubblegum as being a "dear friend to the wizard community." This could reflect the episode "Wizard Battle" where a kiss from her served as the prize for winning the battle.

Errors

 * When Princess Bubblegum said she was making fun of spells, the purple collar on her shirt disappears.
 * When Jake turned into an igloo, his prison uniform disappeared.

Production notes

 * This episode's original title was "Only Wizards Allowed."
 * Despite being the 26th episode of Season 5, "Wizards Only, Fools" is not the season's finale. It is one of numerous Season 5 episodes produced after September 2012 instead of with the rest of Season 5 in the recently passed summer, listed as a "Season 5.2" episode.