Fionna and Cake/Transcript

(The episode starts out in Prince Gumball's castle)

Fionna: Throw it, Cake!

(Cake grabs a Jelly Kinder and twirls it up to Fionna with her arms)

Fionna: Eyahh! (Kicks it to the ceiling where others are)

Fionna: These Jelly Kinders aren't...alive, are they?

Prince Gumball:(Holding one) What? No, they can't even talk.

(The Jelly Kinder frantically lets out a sound and PG hastily covers its mouth)

PG: Kick it!

PG: Thanks for helping me out guys.

Cake: What are these buggers for, anyway?

PG: Oh, they're decorations for my Biennial Gumball Ball. Tonight!

Fionna: Sounds like it gonna be large'. '

PG: Yes! So, Very, Large, I'd like you to be there as my special guest.

Fionna: (Blush) You want me to go with you to the ball?

PG: Heck yes. As my pal!

Fionna: Oh. Right.

PG: It starts at seven, so don't be late!

(Outside storm clouds are forming quickly)

Cake: Fionna, we got trouble! My tail is totally frizzin' out!

Fionna: I'll check it out.

(She goes outside and coming out of the clouds is a cackling Ice Queen)

Fionna: It's Ice Queen!

Ice Queen: The Prince shall be mine!

(Creates a giant glacier)

Fionna: Back inside!

(As they go in the glacier smashes through the wall and Ice Queen slides down it)

Ice Queen: Outta my way, tomboy!

Fionna: Ice Queen, why are you always predatoring on dudes?

Ice Queen: Ha! You should to talk! Keeping all the babes to yourself, totally ice-blocking my game!

(PG looks disgusted)

Fionna: What?

(Forms a slush beast around herself)

Ice Queen: Not this time!

(Slush beast surrounds PG and Ice Queen can be seen lifting him up)

PG: Gah! Slush Beast!

Fionna: Cake! Morning-star mode!

(Cake becomes a mace-like object and Fionna twirls her and smashes her into the slush beast, covering the room in frost and snow and PG comes out of the mist)

PG: You saved me from the Ice Queen!

Fionna: Oh, uh, yeah I guess. Is she gone?

PG: She must have fled. Fionna, you're so strong. And you look so beautiful in the snow. What are you doing later?

Fionna: (Blush) I was just going to go home,and I...

PG: Come with me. Let's go out.

Fionna: Go... out?

PG: Yeah. Let's go somewhere.

Fionna: What?

Cake: We'd love to!

PG: Great! Meet me in the castle gardens in a hour!

Cake: (Dragging a stunned Fionna out of the room) Yes, we'll be there!

(At the treehouse)

Cake: Oh, it's a date!

Fionna: No, it's not. I'm sure when he said "go out," he meant "go out," not "go out!"

Cake: Shut up, he's into you!

Fionna: Come on, you heard what he said. I'm like his guy-friend.

Cake: Well, that could change tonight.

Fionna: If it's a date, why are you coming?

Cake: I'm coming to help you! Hold on, I'm bringing my dulcimer.

Fionna: (groans) Man.

Cake: It's a conversation starter. (Puts dulcimer on her back)

Fionna: Fine, I'll do this if only to prove you wrong.

(At the Castle Gardens)

Fionna: Mm...Let's just bail, I changed my mind.

Cake: No! No retreat, girl.

PG: Hello, Fionna. And I see you brought Cake.

Fionna: That's cool, right?

PG: Only if it's cool that I brought... Lord Monochromicorn!

(He falls out of the sky onto the ground)

Cake: Hiya, gorgeous.

LM: (In morse code) H-E-Y.

PG: Accept these tokens of our esteem.

Fionna: (Awkwardly) Hey you didn't have to, guy...

PG: Nonsense. For you Cake, a satchel of Nepetalactone. Mo-Cro picked it himself.

Cake: Catnip! Sweet babies! (Starts tapping the bag against her head)

PG: And for you m'lady, a bouquet of posies.

Fionna: Oh, uh, they're...

PG: There's a surprise at the center.

Fionna: Huh! A crystal sword! I'm all about swords! How did you know?!

PG: I pay attention to things I see you being all about.

Fionna: Thanks dude. It's just...WOW.

PG: Come, for the wowiness has only just begun!

(Fionna is riding a giant Cake and PG is riding LM)

Cake: (Whispering)Psst, Fi, tell Gumball that you think he's "HAWT".

Fionna: (Whispering) What?! No!

Cake: (Whispering) Guys like to hear that they're hot!

Fionna: (Whispering) Will you keep your voice down?!

PG: Oh, Fionna!

Fionna: Hey wussup.

PG: I thought we might have a little race. A playful race to Marshmallowy Mweadows.

Fionna: Okay, but I'm gonna kick your butt. (Awkwardly) Not that I'm thinking of butts...

PG: Excellent. (He and LM take off)

Cake: After him Fionna. After your man. (They take off)

(They race to the Mweadows)

PG: (Breathless) Good race, Fionna.

(Cake are LM are both exhausted and sweating)

Cake: Why are y'all breathless if we're the ones running?

(PG hums and jumps into a hole under the flowers)

Fionna: Gumball!

(Jumps in after him and they both come up, Fionna holding PG and PG holding a pink skull)

PG: Sorry, I saw a pearl pygmy skull in there. It reminded me of you. The way your eyes sparkle. (PG's eyes sparkle and Fionna's eyes sparkle as she laughs nervously)

(Fionna, Cake, and PG are all riding LM)

PG: Fionna, there's something I want to tell you.

(The song Oh, Fionna begins and at the end, Fionna and PG gets dropped off on a hill laughing)

Fionna: Oh my gosh, dude. That was like the stupidest thing ever.

Cake: See you back at the treehouse. (Winks to Fionna, Fionna blushes, as Cake and LM fly away)

(It is night. PG and Fionna are laughing)

Fionna: Jeez, I dunno, I thought about it. But I think you could wear your pants as a shirt, if you really needed to.

PG: (Laughs) Okay, okay, now you ask me something.

Fionna: Oh, um, is this a date?

PG: (Laughs) Fionna, come to the ball with me.

Fionna: As your chum?

PG: No, as my girlfriend.

(At the treehouse, Cake is playing a game on Beemo and Fionna rushes in)

Fionna: It was a date! There was singing and junk!

Cake: I know! I was there for that part!

Fionna: Cake, he wants me to come to the ball as his girlfriend!

Cake: Oh my goodness! It's almost seven! You need something to wear! Oh, hold on honey, I an gonna make this happen!

(Cake is fitting a white dress on Fionna, purse and all)

Fionna: How am I suppose to fit my weapons in this?

Cake: It's a ball! You don't need weapons!

Fionna: (Puts the crystal sword in her purse) I'll take my retractable sword.

Cake: Okay! Lets go, go, go!

(Fionna arrives at the ball on Cake's back, inside Marshall Lee is flying around and he and Fionna wave to each other, others like Lumpy Space Prince are there and PG is talking to a female Cinnamon Bun and sees Fionna)

PG: I've been looking for you.

Fionna: Well, here I am.

PG: Ha Ha! Hey, I wanna show you something.

Fionna: Okay. (Goes with PG)

Cake: Okay, girl! I'll see you later!

(PG and Fionna go up a flight of stairs to his room)

Fionna: What? Hey, is this your bedroom?

PG: Fionna. (Unbuttons his shirt)

Fionna: (Backing up) Heh, Whoa. (A drip of water falls on Fionna and see looks up to find Prince Gumball frozen upsidedown on the roof) What?!

(The PG in front of Fionna laugh and that laugh becomes a woman's cackle as Ice Queen pops out his chest revealing it was her in disguise.)

Ice Queen: This was so much easier than I thought it would be! (Shoots ice lighting at Fionna, she dodges.)

Fionna: This is really messed up, Ice Queen! (Ice Queen causes a ice pillar to grow under Fionna's feet and head towards the ceiling.) WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH ME?!

Ice Queen: You're what stands between me and my Gumball! (Spikes come out of the ice pillar and tear into Fionna's dress. An angry Fionna rips her dress free and jumps off of the pillar.)

Fionna: I can't believe I fell for this trash! You got me to show up with a dress! And a pur- My purse! My sword!

(Ice Queen throws ice shards at her and Fionna dives and grabs her purse and unsheathes it, Ice Queen just laughs as it recedes and locks her hands in an ice ball.)

Ice Queen: You like my ice sword?

(Cake comes from behind a curtain near the bottom of the staircase outside PG's room and hears the sound of the struggle upstairs)

Fionna: Get it off me!

Cake: Fionna!

(Ice Queen laughs and Fionna rushes up and smashes the ice ball against Ice Queen's head, Ice Queen blasts her with a blizzard of snow, shooting her towards the ceiling by PG and she smashes the ice around him, freeing him and her hands, Ice Queen shrieks in frustration and is brought to the ground by ice raining from the ceiling. Fionna lands on the ground with PG in her arms.)

PG: Oh my goodness. (Fionna puts him down and Cake bursts through the door)

Cake: WHAT'S GOING ON IN HE...(Sees PG with his hand with Fionna and her dress in tatters and rushes towards PG) AAAHH! Don't you touch her! (She jumps up and flails and scratches on his face until Fionna pulls her off)

Fionna: Shh.. It's okay, it's okay, it was the Ice Queen.

(Ice Queen shoots a blast of ice needles at Cake)

Ice Queen: Paws off my prince!

(Cake lets a pained cat howl as Ice Queen laughs until Fionna punches off her crown and kicks her in the face.)

Ice Queen: (Groans and snarls) My magic tiara...my powers!

(Fionna grabs her neck)

Fionna: And this is for yanking my heart guts! (Punches Ice Queen to the ground where Cake, wearing the magic tiara, blasts her with snow.)

Cake: Ha Ha! I'm a queen! (Fionna knocks off the tiara)

Fionna: No, you might catch her crazy.

PG: Wow, Fionna. You're, you're just really incredible. Maybe we should meet up, for a date.

Fionna: (Pushes him away) No way, man. Not interested. (Thoughtful sigh) I think the reason I got all these guy-friends and no boyfriend is because, I don't really want to date any of 'em. I don't need feel like I'm waiting to be noticed. I know who I am. And I'll know what I want when and if it ever comes along. But there is one guy I would do anything to date. (In a smitten voice) The Ice King.

PG: What?!

Cake: Me too, Ice King's the real deal!

(Lord Monochromicorn pops out from under the floor)

LM: (In morse code) W-E L-O-V-E Y-O-U -I-C-E K-I-N-G.

Fionna: Ice King is the hottest hottie, and I can't wait to...(The camera fades into Fionna's mouth and fades out of Ice King's mouth in the his castle)

Ice King: "To marry him!" said Fionna. Then she turned to Prince Gumball and said "I hope Ice King will sweep me off my feet and take me to the farthest corner of Ooo, where we will do nothing but kiss and eat a whole bunch until we get fat and die." The end. So, what do you think of the fanfiction I wrote about you guys?

(Finn and Jake are trapped with half their bodies in a block of ice, with Jake in head first, with book manuscripts in front of them, Gunter has a book too.)

Finn: Uh...

Ice King: (threateningly) Tell me you thought it was good!

Finn: Uh, It's good! It's good! It's really good, dude! It was amazing!