Jake/Quotes

"Actually, I think I'm beating it back with sheer willpower. (grows another lump) Oh, my."

"(Lumpy Jake) Yeah, right behind you. Just gotta turn my back on this guy."

"Sleds are for suckers! Just ride on my gut!"

"No, no, you do mean sexy hot!"

"You shouldn't marry Finn. He pees his pants constantly. All the time."

"She got past me, man. I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me."

"Crack open that book and read something for fun's sake, alright?"

"Finn, let the business men handle it."

"Yeah, Stanley, for a watermelon, you get into way more trouble than you should."

"I taste awesome."

"(Imitating Princess Bubblegum) Hey, shorty, you should pick your boogers and then fart!"

"(Imitating Ricardio) You look kinda like a big pink baguette!"

"I keep finding baby shoes. What the heck, man! And they're all lefties!"

"You know what they remind me of? Well-dressed pickles."

"(imitating the Ice King) I'm the Ice King, and I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool!"

"(In Korean) He said diarrhea."

"No, no she didn't. She didn't say "diarrhea who"."

"He still cries when he poops. Thanks for being cool, guys!"

"This dolphin fell in love with me!"

"House-hunting is WIIIILD! You've GOT to try it."

"I'm not scared! I was singing! I was singing my scream song. Wooaah! Wooaaooh!"

"I'd rather be dancin' with some babes!"

"Whoa, dude, why are you naked?"

"You're so cute, I could just maul you to death."

"I could probably think of a reason of why that's villainous if you gave me enough time. Maybe..."

"I am an assassin! I'll kill you and raise your children as my own!"

"I'm gonna go rescue all the babies in town. ONLY THE BABIES."

"Heh-heh, I can't take you seriously when you're singing, man."

"I have pants! Spun from spider webs... by pixies."

"I wanna help you outta this, man, but she scares the filling outta my doughnut!"

"Don't you worry, Finn. I'll get you out of there. I've got a perfect plan! (Marceline sees him & hisses at him, scaring him off) I'm not running away, Finn, this is just part of my plan!"

"I saved my bro from a scum-sucking vampire!"

"The bazooka goblin has you in its sights!"

"Girl, if you weren't a figment of my imagination, I'd wannna to have your baby..."

"Dude, be calmed by my saliva."

"I'm not cute, I'll mess you up..."

"Poots on newts!"

"What's your deal, screwy?!"

"I can't have you messin' up my bread and butter, dude."

"My subconscious must be hungry."

"Oh man, I imagined my mom naked!"

"Hey, get outta here, horse! I wanna go to sleep and you're creeping me the math out!"

"Now go sit in the corner, and think about your life."

"Hold my sandwich, BMO. I'm gonna go find Fi-- (gasps) A dancing bug!"

"But you said I was gonna hurt everybody."

"If I had a penny for every time someone went crazy hopped up and magic energy... I'd be Abraham Lincoln."

"Just hop on my powdered donut, boy!"

"Uh oh. Man, we got GOT!"

"Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?"

"Easy peasy, livin' greazy."

"It's probably a computeel gleech."

"WHOA! What'd you just read?"

"Don't do anything stupid!"

"Buddy, just breathe into me."

"Hey, Finn, let's duck out. This turned out to be boring."

"MUST! FIND! FINN! MUST! (Voice gets slightly deeper) MUST! PARTY FOREVAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"We can rule them like gods...(deep voice) angry gods."

"Yeah, I could go for some blood."

"Get your hero on!"

"I'm...not...a...BANANA!!"

"(on becoming a vampire) And what if we become evil? I'll have to start wearing cologne."

"Hey man, watch it. I think that's my nerp, but super-stretched out."

"Wanna just smash 'em all?"

"So cute! I just wanna give them candy."

"I love you, Everything Burrito."

"I'm puttin' an end to all this craziness with my Pick-Axe Hand."

"Fish People! I'll be, uh... a dolphin!"

"Tastes better than blood! Or does it? Hey Finn do you think blood tastes better than ketchup?"

"Whatever, man. This is a crazy cruise, and Susan is our crazy captain, and I'm a crazy clam shell!"

"Oh, I'm coming with you... if only to be disruptive and obnoxious."

"Well, I know what's missing. Talent. I'm getting out of here you hacks. Talentless hacks!"

"Ya gotta speak in rhymes. Speak in rhymes all the times!"

"EEEWWW, monster guts!"

"YOU'RE SICK, PARTY PAT!!! I'm gonna go watch T.V."

"(Susan Strong falls on the grass) Yep. you killed her... Felled by surface world germs."

"(mumbling in his sleep) Meat Man. I'm sorry, Meat Man. I didn't mean it, man."

"Dude, let's kill the horse."

"Uh-oh. Somebody's gonna do a quest for a frog."

"... and since you want more, it's time for step four."

"Come on, the ocean is your friend, and you got friends all around you right now. Miles and miles of friends."

"Love like theirs will always find a way. It will crawl up all over you and drain your body fluids, poisoning slowly till you pass out. Circle of life, Finn… circle of life."

"Yaaaaaaay! Noooooo!!"

"That thing's gonna bake our beans!"

"Ow, my hippocampus!!"

"Dude. Seriously."

"When you see the wicker devil in the tree afterlife, tell him Jake said, "Hello"."

"The Morrow is a bird."

"Help! Stranger danger!"

"Hey, we all have our own ways."

"That's some funky junk, brother."