Jake vs. Me-Mow/Transcript

In the Wildberry Kingdom, Wildberry Princess ,humming, is taking a pie out of an oven, walks pasts a room filled with meat, and puts on a counter. WB knells down to put her oven mitt in a drawer and when she rises she notice a small hole in a pie but simply shrugs and takes the pies to a table where Finn and Jake are sitting)

Jake: You've got a lot of meat, Wildberry Princess.

WB: Oh, you know.

Finn: Thanks for cooking looking for us.

WB: Oh, you're welcome Finn and thank you for answering my urgent summons.

Finn: Hey yeah. How can we aid thee? (Eats a piece of pie)

WB: Oh, it's nothing really. Someone's trying to kill me.

(Finn and Jake spit out their pies, their food flies in each other’s mouth, Finn gags)

Jake: Still tastes good.

WB: It's no big deal. Finish your pie.

Finn: It is a big deal and I demand dets.

WB: Okay.

Jake: (Mouth full) I'm listening but I'm gonna keep eating. (Chews pie tray)

WB: (Goes over to a table) I suspect that I've been targeted by the Guild of Assassins.

Finn: Whoa, how do you know?

WB: I found this note stabbed to my door... man. (Lifts up a note from the Guild of Assassins with a knife pierced through it)

Finn: (Gasps) Princess, we vow to protect your juice. Right, Jake?

(Jake is devvouring a pie messily)

Jake: Sometimes, I think there's a monster who lives in my stomach and that's why I'm hungry all the time. (Giggles and continues eating)

Finn: Uhh, Princess, let's continue this briefing outside.I can't look at his mouth when he gets like this.

(Close-up of Jake mouth belching, Finn and WB leave the room and Jake puts down the pie tin and wipes his mouth, Jake eyes WB pie and taps the table with his arm)

Jake: (Whispering) Princess, want me to finish off your pie? (Jake stretchs his hand into WB shaped puppet and imitates her voice) Yes, Jake. All my pies. (Jake begins to eat the pie when he see something inside it he continues eating to find a small cat) Hmm...hehehe, a tiny cat. (The cat hisses and bares her claws at Jake) Whoa!

Me-Mow: (Jumps onJake's face) Quiet! Or you die! (Points a syringe of poison at him).

Jake: You're the Assassin!

Me-Mow: (Saluting) Me-Mow, assassin second class. But once I take out a princess, I graduate to full membership.

Jake: Well I'm no princess, sister!

Me-Mow: I know. But since you've blown my cover, you will slay Wildberry Princess.

Jake: What!? I'd rather be injected with poison!

Me-Mow: Oh. Umm...okay.

Jake: I mean, I will assassinate Wildberry Princess.

Me-Mow: Good. Oh, and if you try to trick me, I'll poison you. (Climbs into Jake's nose)

Jake: (Stifled) My nose!

Me-Mow: Blegh! It's like warm garbage up in here!

(Finn and WB re-enter)

WB: You done in here, Jake?

Jake: Oh, uh, yeah. So, um, Wildberry Princess. So, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be killed.

WB: (Nervously backs off) W-w-why would you say that?

Finn: Dude, are you trying to freak her out?

Jake: I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here.

Finn: Are yo trying to freak me out.

Jake: Uh, I'm sorry, Wildberry Prin...cess... (Hears bells, looks at a bag of meat, grabs WB's crown) You should... let me... do something... and, it will be...good. (Places WB's crown on the meatbag)

(In Jake's nose)

Me-Mow: What's going on out there? (Looks through Jake's nostril to see the meatbag with WB's crown)

Jake: (Punching the meatbag) Eat this! And that! Ooh, how do you like this, princess!