Hug Wolf/Transcript

bMr. Cupcake]]e Tree of Blight.

(The tree roars in the center of a dark forest; the camera pans out to show Finn and Jake.)

Finn: Every hundred years, it spews evil spores across the land.

Jake: Then let's burn its butt down to the roof rubbin's. (The duo walks forward.) Finn, I can feel a bunch a' eyeballs peepin' us from the woods.

(The Alpha Hug Wolf suddenly lunges out and Finn and Jake gasp. She lands next to the duo and punches Finn rather softly.)

Alpha Hug Wolf: Hhyuuugs!

Finn: What the?! Is this an extra butt?! (Pushes her away.) Quick, Jake! Burn the tree!

(Jake runs off.)

Alpha Hug Wolf: Huuuugs! (Finn grunts and they begin circling each other) Gonna cut you up, boy! I'm gonna snuggle you to pieces!

Jake: Dude! The tree's about to 'splode its evil juice all over!

Finn: No! (Gasps as the Alpha Hug Wolf makes a roaring charge at him. The Alpha Hug Wolf embraces Finn and howls.) Jake, hurry!

Jake: Is he crushin' you, man?!

Finn: (Lowering his voice slightly) No, he's just... hugging me gently!

Jake: Oh...! (Turns and talks to tree) When you see the wicker devil in tree afterlife, tell 'im Jake says, "Hello."

(Jake sets the tree on fire which makes it explode; a piece of the tree lands on the Alpha Hug Wolf and she runs off screaming. Finn is violently coughing.)

Jake: Hey, buddy, you okay?

Finn: Didn't even tell me its name.

Jake: Wha?

Finn: (Noticing the tree is burned down) Oh, sweet! Hahaha!

Finn and Jake (In unison): Hot to the touch!

(Scene cuts to Finn and Jake's Tree Fort. Jake is whistling and playing Portender Defender on BMO. He notices Finn is hugging BMO and stops playing.)

Jake: Hmmmm... Dude, why're you so huggy?

Finn: I just feel affectionate, I guess. Hugging helps.

Jake: Hmm... (Feels Finn's forehead) You got a fever, man.

Finn: I feel hot. (Holds BMO tighter)

BMO: Finn, you're hurting me.

Jake: I think you need a good night's sleep.

(Scene transition to Finn and Jake's bedroom. Finn is seen hugging a pillow and Jake blows out a candle. Finn whines like a dog in his sleep. Cut to the next day; Finn and Jake are picking up litter in the Candy Kingdom.)

Jake: You feelin' better today?

Finn: Yeah. I feel like a million clams.

Jake: Good. Hey, you think we have enough candy litter. (Eats some of it) Litter for lunch! Mmm!

(Finn continues picking it up and Cinnamon Bun enters and runs into Finn.)

Cinnamon Bun: Huh? Not again!

Finn: What's the matter, Cinnamon Bun?

Cinnamon Bun: Please, Finn. If you're gonna hug me again, don't make it as hard as you hugged me last night.

Finn: Uh... I didn't hug you last night.

Cinnamon Bun: Yes, you did! My love handles still hurt! You came into my room around midnight and gave me a squeeze--a really strong one! (Groans in pain)

(Jake joins in.)

Finn: CB says I hugged 'im. Haha. Cinnamon Bun, you got some crazy notions. I tell ya. (Laughs; Cinnamon Bun also starts to laugh. Jake just makes a worried face. Cinnamon Bun exits as his laugh faints. Finn and Jake sit down.) Oh, Cinnamon Bun. (Eats some candy litter) (Muffled) What a crazy story, buddy.

Jake: Yeah, buddy, but you were pretty huggy last night... buddy.

Finn: Wait. You don't think I actually snuck into Cinnamon Bun's room and hugged him, do you?

Jake: I'm just sayin' you were really clingy.

Finn: (Eats more litter) (Muffled) But no. Why would I? And don't tell me it's because I have repressed emotional feelings for Cinnamon Bun.

Jake: No. I have a theory, ...but I don't like it.

(Scene cuts to what looks like a museum of sorts.)

Jake: Your questionable behavior started about an hour or so after you got hugged by that wolf man, right?

Finn: ...So?

(Jake pulls out a book and drops it on the ground. The cover reads "BESTIARIUM VOCABULUM (BEAST COMPENDIUM) ((ANIMAL BOOK))". Jake opens it.)

Jake: Well, I've been thinkin' that maybe that wolf man wasn't what he seemed. Maybe he was some sort of hug wolf. Yeah, here it is. (Reading book) "Hug wolves--a subset of wolf men which roam the countryside with a fervid hug lust. Every night, hug wolves must go out and hug people to satisfy their insatiable craving for hugs. To become a hug wolf, one must be hugged by an alpha hug wolf on the night of a full moon!"

Finn: Like last night!

Jake: Yes. So you must be a beta hug wolf. A lower-level creature.

Finn: Well, how can I get uncursed.

Jake: Lemme, um... read the book a little more. (Does so) Says there's no known cure.

Finn: Uh... I'm scared, Jake... (Attempts to hug Jake but he slaps him away)

Jake: No hugs!!

Finn: I'm sorry! (Grunts) I feel hot! Rrrrr!!

(Jake looks worried. Cut back to the Tree Fort where Jake is covering Finn with packed frozen peas. BMO is wimpering.)

Jake: What's wrong, BMO?

BMO: I am terrified of Finn.

Jake: Hmm. Well, that plant's not gonna protect you. (BMO stops shielding himself in disbelief) You can get this under control, buddy. ARE YOU READY TO OVERCOME THIS THING??

Finn: I think so.

Jake: I said... ARE YOU READY TO OVERCOME THIS THING??

Finn: Yeah. I heard you. I said I think so.

Jake: I'm tryin'a' getcha to shout.

Finn: Oh. Okay. IS THIS GOOD?!?

Jake: Nevermind. Now. I want you to think about hugging a cactus. How would that feel?

Finn: Prickly and painful.

Jake: Good, good, you're doin' great!

Finn: Cool. So, can I hug the cactus now?

Jake: No, you can't hug anything.

Finn: But that poor cactus! It... it... NEEDS ME! (Stands up and knocks packed peas off body, knocking Jake down. He pants heavily then growls.)

Jake: Oh, no, the hug lust is already takin' over your brain!

Finn: (Growling fiercely) I want to hug you, Jake! Close!

(Jake ties Finn up with rope then chains him down.)

Jake: Finn... say something to reassure me.

Finn: I'LL HUG YOUR MOM!

(Jake makes a frightened noise and backs away quickly.)

BMO: Jake! We need the silver baseball!

(The full moon outside is shown and shines from behind the clouds. Finn completes his transformation.)

Finn: Hrrugs!! HUGS FOR BUDDIES! (?) (Howls)

BMO: Oh, Glob! Oh, my Glob, Jake! Mama!

Finn: Bring it in, guys! (?)

BMO: Screamoooo! (?)

Jake: BMO! Strobe light mode! (BMO activates his strobe lights.) Back, beast!

(Finn busts out of a window howling and runs to the Candy Kingdom. The scene cuts there.)

Mr. Cupcake: Surely this frosted drink will soothe my fevered tempers. (Finn pants heavily and his POV is viewed as he watches Mr. Cupcake and goes towards him.) Hellooo? Good heavens! A lycanthrope! AAAAH!!

Finn: (Hugs him) Pucker up, bro! (Grunts and roars as Mr. Cupcake groans)

(Finn goes off to the Gumdrop teenager's room and goes towards her in bed)

Gumdrop teenager: Dracula? AAAAH!! Eeee!!

Finn: (Roaring) HUUUUGS!!

(The Gumdrop Dad busts in.)

Gumdrop dad: Get away from my daughter, ya hairy teenager! (Mimicking the sound a shotgun makes when one cocks it) Ch-ch... (Mimicks a gunshot noise and shoots the teenager's mirror.)

Gumdrop teenager: Aaah!!

Gumdrop dad: Ch-ch. (Fake gunshot noise; repeats a couple of times as Finn runs away) Ch-ch. (Goes towards window) Eh... eh... SHE'LL NEVER MARRY! (Chases Finn away with more gunfire)

(Transition to the next day; Jake is walking with BMO in the Candy Kingdom.)

Jake: Finn? Finn?

BMO: There he is!

(Finn is in a river. Jake shakes him awake.)

Finn: Huh? Huh? (Princess Bubblegum chases a cat in the background for some reason.) What... What happened? Jake... what happened to me last night?

Jake: You hugged... everyone.

Finn: NO!

(Candy People appear and shout angrily)

Upside-Down Ice Cream Cone: We're mad, but we're not gonna go down there.

Finn: People of the Candy Kingdom, all I've ever wanted was to keep you all safe, ...and because I can't undo the hugs I've caused, my sole wish is to be locked up forever in the Candy Dungeon.

(Scene cuts to the candy dungeon.)

Candy Baby: Why's Finn in the cage, Mama? Isn't hugs nice?

Candy Mother: Oh, baby... (Hugs it in concern)

Jake: Candy People, let's make sure that alpha hug wolf pays for what he's done!!

Candy Person #29: Yeah!

Candy Person #33: Yeah, I agree with the last guy!

Jake: Cinnamon Bun, you watch over Finn!

Cinnamon Bun: Uuuuuhhhh...

Jake: Let's go, boys!!

Cinnamon Bun: Uh... bu-, bububut...

Crowd: No more hugs! No more hugs! No more hugs!

Randy Candy Person: Without consent!!

Cinnamon Bun: Uh...

Finn: Huh? (Watches full moon appear from behind clouds and gasps) HUUUGS!! (Growls)

Cinnamon Bun: Finn? (Finn keeps growling as he transforms.) Uh...

Finn (Fully transformed): Cinnamon Bun... let me out...

Cinnamon Bun: I-I-I-I'm not supposed to.

Finn: Don't you want a hug?

Cinnamon Bun: I can't, man!

Finn: Not even a little one?

Cinnamon Bun: Uuuuhhh...

Finn: You wanna hug?

Cinnamon Bun: (Mutters) YES!! HUG ME!!!! (To himself) C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon... (Unlocking door) Which way does this turn?!? (Finn lunges out with a roar and tackles Cinnamon Bun.) Owww! Ow, my sides.

(Scene cuts to the forest from the beginning of the episode.)

Candy crowd: SAY NO TO HUGS!

Jake: I smell someone bein' hugged right now! (Spots alpha hug wolf hugging an antelope.)

Antelope: Uh... I have a wife.

Jake: That hug be your last, demon!

(Jake stretches his arms and repeatedly punches the alpha hug wolf)

Alpha Hug Wolf: Rrr...still love you! (Attempts to embrace Jake's arms but misses) Raaah! Come here, baby!

Jake: No huggies! (Alpha hug wolf lands in front of Jake and the crowd. The crowd mutters, frightened.) Eh... Finn... I've failed you.

(Suddenly, Finn lunges out in the same way the alpha hug wolf did at the beginning of the episode and tackles the alpha hug wolf. They commence their "hug battle".)

Alpha Hug Wolf: I'm gonna hug you up.

Finn: You call that a hug?

(They continue their battle.)

Jake: This is the biggest hug that's ever existed!

(Finn and the wolf begin sparking as they battle. The alpha hug wolf forces Finn near a cliff, but Finn gets a hold of her before she can push him off. They both start glowing; soon an explosion occurs and forms a heart-shaped cloud. The smoke clears.)

Finn (Back to normal): Uuuugghhh.., Huh? (Finn notices that the alpha hug wolf is also back to normal; she lets out tired groans) You... You stopped hugging me.

Alpha Hug Wolf: Yeah... You stopped, too.

Finn: I just... didn't feel like I needed any more hugs.

Alpha Hug Wolf: Me neither.

Candy Person #29: The curse is broken!

Jake: (Runs up to her) Can I get a hug?

Finn: JAKE!!!!!

(Suddenly, the girl turns into another screeching Tree of Blight)

Jake: AAAH--! (The episode ends abruptly.)