User blog:Craft3dc00kie/Boy. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Yeah, I'm not going to be back forever. I'll just check in periododically here every so often.

But there's a few issues I have to get out of the way first.

The first of which being that this website left a pretty big scar on my life.

I don't know how exactly, but almost 5-7 days threw it into utter turmoil almost a year later. Those 5-7 days was when Sekeid'ah-UuaDliles were "dating."

Let me start by saying I checked this wiki so often before I signed up, I became engrossed by it. And one day, the chat caught my eye. I tried to join, but had to make an account first. When I did, I found about 20 people online at almost 11 P.M. EST. 2 of those people were waiting for a guy, who one of them- Sek- was dating. Somehow, we bonded over a couple private messages, and became close friends. I would run home from school and log on here, just to see if she was on. Eventually, not long after, maybe 1 or 2 days, I found out that Sek and the guy broke up. I tried to act like I didn't know why, but I knew it was because Sek and I had been growing closer- at least I assumed so. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. All I know is, we were dating soon after, and I wanted to keep it unknown to a lot of people. She let it slip eventually, and even though I was a little mad at her, I let it happen.

Now, I've seen a whole lot of stuff about how long-distance relationships "aren't real if you haven't connected to the person" or "seen them in real life." That is all totally wrong. I stayed up until 11 my time talking to Sek, and stayed up twice until 12:30-1:00 laying awake in bed, thinking of her. Thinking of an imaginary day where we'd meet in real life. A day where we'd see each other for the first time, and we would just love each other for who we were.

That day unfortunatly never came for us.

One afternoon in our PM, she brought up that she had dated this wierd, ninja-like guy in real life. I had my laugh, but I though he was real. And she went on with the joke. She said he brake in through her window, made out with her, made "him" say where I live, and even said he had people all over. Eventually, she admitted it was a joke, but I was too ticked to let it slide. When I logged on again later that day, we decided to end it. I kept going on chat for a while after that, then I just left.

It took me about 6 months to get the courage to come back. When I did, I was greeted with a feeling I had never felt before: what I assume to be depression. The feeling was too much, and I just had to log off. But then I didn't feel like getting up to go to bed. I didn't feel like moving at all.

Another month went by, and I came back, so did that feeling. I just couldn't shake it at all. I got so stupid, I logged on again a weej or so later while listening to one of the most sad songs I'd ever heard. All I wanted was Sek's forgivness and a comforting hug from just about anyone.

Now, here I am again, 2 months later. Still feeling the same way. Depressed from logging on, feeling that feeling of being able to say that I was going out with someone, feeling that feeling of remembering I couldn't let it go.

I can't let her go. I'm not asking for Sek back, I'm just saying that this is why I haven't been on and why I have that title. If you wanna hear the song, I'll put it up on my main page.

But I think its safe to say my life is ruined by this website.

And now another important thing I think you should know about me.

Please note that this defines who I am, and if you have an opinion on it, try your best to keep it to yourself.

I am a bisexual. I haven't known this for long, but about 2 weeks ago was when I first realized it. Please note that this is the first way I'm coming out of the closet, and that I've only said this to one friend.

And, well, I guess that's it.