Marcy & Hunson/Transcript

This article is a transcript of the Adventure Time episode "Marcy & Hunson " from season 1, which aired on December 17, 2017.

Transcript
Swordsmith Deity, from your unseen throne, bless this sword with your mighty hone! This new sword is guaranteed to defend you against Princess Bubblegum's heinous family. Uncle Gumbald! [CLANK!] Aunt Lolly! [CLANK!] Cousin Chicle! [CLANK!] I like your swordsmith hat. I'm wearing it in honor of my special guest. Am I your special guest? - No. - Dang. [SIZZLING] This sword will serve you much better than your old, cursed Grass Sword. This sword is also cursed, but it has a compass in the hilt! Neat! And now for one more thing The special guest I now will bring! [SPLAT!] Maloso vobiscum et cum spiritum! [WHOOSH!] [GASPS] Hunson Abadeer! Finn the Human! And Jake the Dog! Hey, did Marceline call me It is I who summoned you. I humbly ask you for an infusion of nightosphere magic upon this sword. Okay. I proclaim this blade Ow! Ow! "The Night Sword"! Now to send you back. Not so fast. It's like I got a free flight here. I'm gonna go see my little girl. Back in the hole, Marceline's dad. I'll behave myself. No soul sucking. No evil stuff. I'm trying to be a better person. Maybe it's too late for me, but I'm trying. Oh, I'm so ashamed of the things I've done! [CRYING] Have some dignity, man! All right. You may leave the circle for one day. Wheeeeee! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Time to suck some souls! [SUCKING] [CLANK!] Hey, what gives? Phantom manacles your wrists shall constrain until you're back in your hole again! Finn. Let's go see Marcy. Great sword making, Pep But. Yo, see you guys at the concert! Walkin' in ooo, not suckin' out souls Walk, walk, walk, not suck, suck, suck Walk, walk, walk, not suck, suck, suck Hey, could you stop saying that, please? So what's my little monster up to these days? Is she still all goody-goody? Still half-vampire? Started dating anyone? Yes, yes, but no, then yes again, and maybe? Look, maybe cool it with the prying around Marceline. Nah, she loves it when I pry. [CHUCKLES] Oh, Chicle, have you finally discovered the vampire girl's weakness? I think sooo. [CHUCKLES] Chuckling mode off. [WHISTLING "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT"] You know, now that we're here, I'm having second thoughts. It just seems like no matter what I do, I always tick that girl off. [CRASH!] Marceline! Long time no see. Some goober with glasses summoned me. What's that thing? Just gonna put this here, okay? Now let's go suck some souls! I don't know what it is. Uhh, heh. [CLEARS THROAT] Psst-psst. Dad, what are you doing here? I'm in town for the week, and I don't really have a place to stay, dot, dot, dot. Mnh. How many souls did he suck on his way here? Oh, I guess like zero. But See! I made Finn a cool, new sword and everything! I guess you can crash here. Great! Thanks for inviting me. That is not what's happening. We're gonna jet, Marcy. What?! You just got here. Invite them in, Marceline. Do you have a bathroom? Yeah, there's one upstairs. I just have to freshen up. Is my dad really behaving himself this time? He's just been singing songs and stuff. Yeah, he seems pretty fun for an old guy. Hey, wait a minute. I'm an old guy! Hey, excuse my unsociableness. There's just one thing The venetian blinds in your bathroom kind of jumped out at me and got broken. How could you wreck the blinds just by going to the bathroom? Let me make it up to you. I've got some soy sauce and some ketchup. I'm good. Here's an SD card, some twist ties. I don't want any of this junk! Hey! I'm gonna need a place to sleep tonight. Do you have an air mattress? - Yeah. - Great! You can sleep on the air mattress, and I'll sleep on your bed. It's in the closet. Finn, are you gonna let my little girl blow up that air mattress? Not on my watch! [DOOR OPENS, CLATTERING] Hey, Dad, I think I'm gonna go out for a walk before bedtime. But, Marcy don't you have a solo gig tonight? Ss-ss-ss-ss! I get it. It's air mattress talk. Ss-ss-ss-ss. Aren't you giving a concert tonight? Ss-ss-ss. At the Ghost Amphitheater? Ss-ss-ss. Concert? It's a good thing your friends remembered that. Thanks, Jake. Let's go! [SIGHS] [CHUCKLING] Do you hear, like, a really stupid-sounding laugh? Yes. I have a nice laugh. [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] Time to blend in completely unnoticed. [GASPS] Hey, what you got there? Peanuts? MARCELINE: Hello, Hamburger Hills Cemetery! [BOOM!] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marceline! You're doing great, baby! I haven't started yet. Slow dance with you I just want to slow dance with you I know all the other boys are tough and smooth And I got the blues I want to slow dance with you I want to slow dance with you - Slow dance - I just want to slow dance with you - Slow dance - Why don't you take the chance? I've got the moves I'd like to prove I want to Slow dance with you Hey, Pennebaker! No illegal recording unless you're family. Yoink. [WHISPERING] Just ignore me. Dad! You're wrecking the show! This is my daughter! I am proud of my punk daughter! I made that! Sit down, man! Yeah, you're killing the vibe. I'm just explaining my part in all this. Ugh. This is terrible. Boo, I say. Yeah! Boooo! [CROWD BOOING] Don't worry, honey. I'll work the crowd. Hey, it's me Hunson! I'm happy to field any questions from you dummies. Can you believe Marceline has a bougie trash daddy? I heard this guy even eats ghosts, you know, like us. What? Really?! Sure, sometimes. Off the stage, skin sack! Okay, okay, settle down, pal. Don't make me come out there. What you gonna do "eat my fries?" [HAWKING] [SQUISH!] [SPLAT!] [GASPS] My bass! [LAUGHTER] Come on, ectoplasm comes right off. Don't! You wreck everything. [LAUGHTER] Mad daddy! Hammer fist strike! Let's get him, fellas. Ha-ha! [ALL GRUNT] [GROWLING] [WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!] Dad, quit clowning. Uh, just havin' a little fun. [STRAINS] [GROANS] Come on, Dad, fight back! He can't. Pep Buts bound his powers. What?! They sassed you. Better pop that cork, Peps. All right. All right. Chicle! Oh, whoops, was that bad? [LAUGHS] [HUNSON GRUNTING] [LAUGHTER] [HISSES] Swish! Vampires can't hurt ghosts, stupid. Shoot. Finn's turn! Wha?! Good night, Hamburger Hills! There will be no encore. BUBBLEGUM: My gracious. I'm so sorry you had to deal with Cousin Chicle's schemes. My family's out of control. It's fine. My cool daughter took care of it. And guess what I got from a vendor. It looks too big to me. But they said that's the style now with punk rockers. Thanks for standing up for me tonight. I'm bad, but I'm no so bad, right? So when are you gonna have some kids? Dad!