User blog:ElectricMayhem/My Fanon Episode

(I know it's not Halloween, but I couldn't resist making this episode)

Princess Bubblegum walks from behind a red curtain onto center stage into a  spotlight.

PB: Hello, loyal Adventure Time fans and long-time viewers. Before the episode starts, I must warn you all that this Halloween special is  very, very scary, and those of you who are under the age of 11 may want to head off to bed---

The picture shuts off like a television being unplugged. The little white dot remaining at the center expands into a green line which becomes modulated with Ice King's voice like an oscilloscope trace.

[picture shows a green line]

Ice King: There's nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust your picture. Me and Gunter are controlling the transmission.

Gunter: [squaking noise]

Ice King: Gunter! You're ruining the spooky feel of this gimmick! Anywho, for the next 30 minutes or so, we will control this episode. You are about to experience true horror, true terror, and true... uh...  stuffs.

[green line turns into outline of Finn] -- Ice King opens the show, "Horror Time"

Lightning strikes as the show title card appears and the camera swoops towards a dark forest. A tombstone reads, "Me-Mow". Some dust falls off the tombstone as lightning strikes, revealing a question mark under Me-Mow's name.. Marceline pops up from the bottom of the screen, hissing. She turns into a bat and flies off. A bunch of shadows appear, and morph together to form the Lich King. A zombie-pterodactyl flies up out of the bottom left corner and disappears into the top right.

Push in on the tree fort, panning upward to a window, where Finn's distinctive hat can be seen in the window. Down below, Cinnamon Bun and LSP approach. They're dressed as Dracula (CB) and a zombie super-model (LSP), both carrying a bag of treats.

They walk into the tree fort.

Inside, Jake holds a flashlight to his face and concludes telling his scary story to Finn and BMO.

Jake: ''And so, there was no survivors.... MWAHAHA!''

Finn is hardly impressed and says it isn't THAT scary.

Finn: Nice shot, Jake, but it isn't all that scary.

Jake takes it as a challenge.

Jake: Fine, then. I'll tell you a story that'll make you wet your shorts!

BMO makes an "OOO!" face.

BMO: Yay, trick or treat horror!

Jake begins the story.

=
================================================================= The Shmowing

=
=================================================================

"The Shmowing" appears on the screen, followed by a vertical shot of BMO, Finn, and Jake traveling along a twisty mountain road.

Finn: [singing] Walkin' to the castle, castle walkin' to, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-diddly-doooo....

[they finally arrive at PB's castle]

Peppermint Butler: Oh, goody! The plumbers have arrived. Heh heh heh, look at them, so wise when it comes to toilets and potties....

Princess Bubblegum: Uh, they're just Finn, Jake, and BMO. They're the winter caretakers for the castle.

Peppermint Butler: Yes... they sure are.

[PB takes the 3 on a tour of the castle]

Princess Bubblegum: This castle has quite the history. It was built during the great zombie invasion of 1302, and was used as a prison, an insane asylum, and even an undewear factory at some point...

[they stop in front of the elevator, which opens and disgorges a river of blood]

Princess Bubblegum: Hmm, that's odd. Oh, well, next we will take a tour of the bathroom area.

Outside, the camera stars high above a hedge maze and zooms down to Peppermint Butler watering one part of it.

[a roar and some grunting is heard, and then a firey hole burns through the hedge]

Finn is thrown through the burning hole.

Finn: Hey, Pep But, me and Jake slayed that dragon for you..

Peppermint Butler: Oh, my, Finn, look what you've just -- [thinking] No, no, go easy on him. After all, he is the only one of his kind...

Finn: Dude, please don't mention me being the only human and all... gets me depressed, ya know?

Peppermint Butler: [gasps] Oh, my! You must have.... [whispering] "The Shmowing"!

Finn: Ooo, Shmowing, that sounds kinda math!

Peppermint Butler: Shh! Don't say it out loud! Now, look, Finn, if Jake starts acting... cuckoo, call me with your... you know what.

Finn: [confused] Thaaanks???

Inside, Jake sits on the couch, munching on some chocolates. He grabs his cell phone to call Lady Rainicorn.

Jake: [with phone up to his ear, realizing there's no cell service] Hmm. Guess I can't check on Lady and the Pups...

Jake: [grabs for chocolates] Hmm. All out, I guess. Oh, well.

BMO: Jake, are you upset?

Jake: Of course not!

BMO: Good.

Jake: [crazy] I'LL RIP YOUR CIRCUTS OUT THEN PUT THEM BACK IN THROUGH THE HOLE I CUT THROUGH YOUR FACE!!!! BMO: AAAAAH!

Finn: Jake, you're scaring BMO! Go calm down, dude.

Jake sits in the bathroom on the toilet.

[a ghostly LSP appears in front of Jake]

LSP: Oh my lumping Glob, what're you pouting about?

Jake: LSP... let me use your phone to call Lady!

LSP: No. Not unless you totally disembowl Finn and BMO or somethin' like that.

Jake: Why should I do that?

LSP: Uh... they'd be, like, really grateful if you did it, and.... JUST FLIPPIN' DO IT, ALRIGHT?

Jake: Okay...

Finn walks into a darkened room calling for Jake.

Finn: Jake? Jake? Calmed down yet? [notices typewriter] What this? He's writing a book? [reads it] "All boringness and no fun make Jake angry". Whoa! That's not what I was hoping for....

[lightning strikes, revealing Jake standing in the back of the room]

Jake: Hello, brother...

Finn: Ready to apologize to BMO?

Jake: What do you think, Finn? Do I look like I'm ready to apologize, or do I look like I'm ready to... what's the word?

Finn: [kind of creeped out] Attack me and BMO in a murderous rage?

Jake: That's it!

Jake stretches into random shapes and sizes, then turns back to normal and chases Finn. Finn runs over to his backpack, and grabs his sword, pointing it at Jake.

Jake: [backing Finn slowly up some stairs] Put the sword down, Finn. You wouldn't slash your BRO, would you? I thought you were more, well, HEROIC then that!

Finn swings off his backpack and hits Jake in the head with it, knocking him out. He picks up Jake and carries his body into a cold shed behind the castle, leaving him there with a bunch of weapons.

Finn: Should I leave him here with all these axes and daggers? Well, the worst he can do is get the blades of e'm all covered up with his smudgey fingerprints...

Finn exits the shed.

Inside the house, Finn and BMO sit around peacefully eating dinner. Outside the door, Jake chops his way in with an axe.

[Jake chops through door]

Jake: Heeeere's Jakey!

Finn and BMO: Aah!

The 2 run out through the other door, being chased by Jake. As they run, Finn remembers something important.

Finn: Don't worry, BMO. I can use my... [whispering] "Shmowing"... to call Peppermint Butler. [concentrates]

[Peppermint Butler is dusting off some statues]

Peppermint Butler: Uh oh. Finn and his talking video game are in trouble!

[He runs out of the room so fast that his cell phone goes flying out of his back pocket and through the open window]

Peppermint Butler: Pep But's coming to the rescue! [walks into hallway] All right, stretchy mutt... bring it on!

[Jake runs up and kicks him in the back, knocking him out]

Finn: Oh, crud.

Jake walks towards them menacingly with the axe. They run outside into the snow, but Jake stretches forward to catch up with them.

As he raises the axe high above his head to chop, he suddenly notices Peppermint Butler's phone in the snow.

Jake: YESSSS! [drops axe and grabs phone]

Jake: [talking on phone to Lady] Lady! Girlfriend, mother of my pups, [sad] person who I miss. [all lovey dovey and mushy] Don't be sad, Lady, I'm coming home soon... okay, bye. [Jake hangs up and suddenly notices some chocolates lying on the ground] This is the best day ever!

[Finn and BMO sigh]

[End of segment one]

Finn is unimpressed.

LSP and Cinnamon Bun enter the room.

LSP: Oh my glob, scary stories!

FINN: You two are just in time for this story, which I call...

=
================================================================= A Nightmare In The Candy Kingdom

=
=================================================================

Segment two title: "Nightmare in the Candy Kingdom"

Cinammon Bun plays monkey-in-the-middle with Santa Claus and a leprachaun.

Cinnamon Bun: Okay, Santa, I catch you cheating one more time you're out and Easter Bunny is back in!

Santa: [guilty] Sorry...

[A huge shadow resembling Freddy Krueger appears]

Cinammon Bun: Aaaah!

[The camera pulls back to reveal King Worm standing in front of Cinammon Bun, wearing a sweater and top hat like Freddy Krueger and holding a tree branch with pointy branches sticking out at the end, making it look kind of like the branch has Freddy's claw glove]

King Worm: Sweet dreams... [laughs evilly]

[he swipes at Cinammon Bun, who wakes up screeching]

Cinammon Bun: [sighs]'' Thank goodness it was a dream! [sees his scrapes from the branch''] Gaaaaah!

Cinammon Bun tells Finn and Jake about the nightmare.

Cinammon Bun: And then he scratched me with the stick! And the weirdest thing was that he was giant worm with a CROWN!

Jake: [gasps] Oh my Glob! Finn, King Worm was in my dream too last night! But in the dream he hit me with a big hard candy cane. I still have bruises from it, man! [he has bruises on his stomach]

Tree Trunk: [soaking wet] He threw me into the ocean like I was a football! [sobbing] Help us, Finn!

Jake, Cinnamon Bun, and Tree Trunks: [sobbing] HELP USSSS!!!!

Princess Bubblegum is sleeping. In her dream, she is working with chemicals in her lab.

PB pours some of a green chemical into a beaker of pink chemicals. It turns grey. She drinks it, and it turns her into a panda.

A bunch of judges run in and give PB a ribbon.

Judges: HOORAY FOR THE OFFICIAL SMARTEST SCIENTIST TO EVER EXIST IN THE HISTORY OF OO!!!! YAY!!!

Princess Bubblegum: It was simple, really. I just took some of the main chemicals: H20, orange juice, lighter fluid, spit, and poison!!!

[one of the judges morphs into King Worm; everyone gasps]

'''King Worm: Poison, huh? Well, pick YOUR poison, princess... death by fire, or death by... um... EVIL STUFF!'''

Princess Bubblegum: Aah! [runs off]

King Worm: [laughs] You're a great scientist and a great princess, but are you a great escape artist?

King Worm shoots fire out of his mouth, and the fire chases down PB, until it catches up with her, and

[PB wakes up screaming]

Princess Bubblegum's pajamas are all charred and burnt, and smoke is coming from them. Fortunately, PB isn't harmed too much.

Finn and Jake are in the Tree Fort, trying to find out what all the victims have in common.

Jake: Well, me, Treetrunks, PB and CB were there the day of the... "accident".

Finn: WHAAAAAT?

The scene changes to a crowd of people watching King Worm fight off some cops. King Worm wipes them out easily then starts attacking the crowd.

Jake: [voice over] It all started on the sixth hour, of the sixth day, of the sixth month. That's three sixes, and THAT is an unlucky number.... Anyway, Worm was attacking a bunch of people.

Tree Trunks: [horrified] Help!!!

Cinammon Bun: [also horrified] Save us!!!!

Princess Bubblegum: Don't worry, Finn and/or Jake will come save us!

Jake runs up to the scene of the crime.

Jake: Sorry, Finn's busy doing the laundry. But Jake's here!

Jake stretches around King Worm, tying him up, but is distracted by smores being cooked over a fire.

Jake: Ooo, smores! I want some!

Jake stretches over to get a smore, accidentally pulling King Worm toward the fire.

King Worm: GAAAAAAAAH!

King Worm is about to fall face first into the fire, when

The scene changes back to Finn and Jake in the tree fort.

Finn: Jake! Don't you realize what this means? The next time anyone falls asleep, they could [weakly] die!

Jake: WHOA! I'll never fall asleep again! [falls asleep]

Finn and Jake try hard to stay awake that night. BMO gives Finn a cup of coffee to drink while he and Jake watch "Heat Signature 2".

Finn's falls asleep for a second, but fortunately, BMO shakes him awake.

Finn: It's impossible, Jake... we have to fall asleep eventually.

Jake: You're right, man! The only thing that would make sense is for me to go to asleep and defeat King Worm once and for all!

Finn: Dude, are you insane?

Jake: Kind of... I haven't slept in forever! But, seriously, Finn, I started this mess so I should end it!

Jake yawns and closes his eyes. He opens them again and looks behind him to see the candy kingdom, looking all dark and sinister. He walks cautiosly through the kingdom, observing everything around him. Suddenly, King Worm, with huge wings and laser-shooting eyes, swoops down and chases Jake. Jake screams and runs away while King Worm shoots lasers at him and laughs like a maniac.

Jake: Oh my Glob, this was a stupid idea! Stupid stupid stupid!

One of the lasers hits Jake in the back, burning off some of his orange fur.

Jake: GAAAK! My back....

King Worm lands on the ground and morphs into a giant Godzilla-like monster.

King Worm starts shooting lasers out of his mouth, and the chase continues.

KING WORM: Good night, don't let the bed bugs bite!

A bunch of small flea-like creatures with King Worm's head appear out of thin air in front of Jake and jump onto to him, then begin biting him repeatedly. Jake still manages to run, but starts screaming in pain.

Jake: Ha... this isn't so bad OOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!! Mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy!

Jake shakes off the bugs, then turns around and looks at the giant King Worm.

Jake: Hey, wormy, I've had ENOUGH!!!!

Jake stretches to giant size and begins wrestling with King Worm.

King Worm: When I'm done with you, you'll just be a stretchy corpse in a PET CEMETARY!

Jake stretches his fists into giant boulders, and starts pounding on King Worm's head.

Jake: GRRRRRRR!!! WORM, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

Jake uppercuts King Worm, knocking him out.

Jake stretches down to normal size.

Jake: [sighs with relief] That's one less nightmare.... Now my dreams can go back to normal... giant hot dog, here I come! [a giant hot dog appears]

Jake: Oh, man... this is the life....

[behind Jake, King Worm gets back up, and morphs into a giant tarantula]

Jake is about to take a bite out of the hot dog, but the King Worm tarantula grabs him.

Jake: GLOB HELP ME GLOB HELP ME GLOB HELP ME!

Giant Hot Dog: I think I just wet my bun....

The giant hot dog grows legs and runs off.

Jake: [pointing at the giant hot dog] HOT DOG! YOU SISSY!

Finn: [running toward Jake] Jake, you're in big trouble! Wake up, man!

Jake: Hey, wait a second! If you're here, then you wussed out and fell asleep!

Finn: I'm not asleep, I'm a figment of your imagination, dude! You dreamed me up to save you! Jake: Then stop talking and save me already!

Finn pulls out his demon blood sword, runs up the back of the giant King Worm spider, and jumps down to the arm that's holding Jake. As he falls past the arm, he sticks out his sword, cutting the arm a little bit.

King Worm: [dropping Jake and grabbing the wounded arm] Hey!!!!

Jake lands really hard on the ground.

Jake: Ouch!

Jake stretches his arms around the King Worm, tying him up. He pulls the giant spider-worm down to the ground with a loud thud.

Jake: So I can dream up whatever I want?

Finn: Duh.

Jake: Hmmm... I dream that King Worm explodes!

King Worm: What? NO!!!

King Worm blows up, and the blast sends Finn and Jake flying up into the sky.

Jake: AAAAH! We're gonna faaaaall!!!

Just as Jake said, the two begin to fall quickly to the ground.

Finn: Dream that you're awake!!!

Jake: Okay, okay, I will!!!!! [concentrates hardly] I dream us awake, I dream us awake, I dream us awaaaAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

The two are about to hit the ground, when Jake suddenly wakes up screaming.

Finn: Are you okay?

Jake: Yeah, me and dream you totally kicked that jerk's butt/

BMO: Ha, you said butt!

Jake: Yeah... I guess I did.

The three of them walk out the front door the next morning.

Jake: I don't know, Finn. Something tells me that there's still somethin' wrong!

[Lich suddenly appears out of nowhere in front of the 3]

Lich: I'VE RETURNED AT LAST! PREPARE TO D [BMO throws a peanut at Lich's head] Hey, what was that for? [BMO throws more peanuts at him] HEEEEY!

Lich runs away as BMO throws peanuts at him.

Lich: Cut that out!!!

BMO: He's not THAT tough.

[End of Act Two.]

In the tree fort, LSP and Cinammon Bun are shaking.

Finn: I knew it'd scare you guys!

Lumpy Space Princess: I'm not scared, I'm just shaking because it's so lumpin' cold! Who left the window open?

Jake: The window was closed when Finn started telling that UN-scary story....

Everybody stares at the open window, scared because they have no idea who opened it.

Suddenly, they hear a familiar voice.... Marceline.

Marceline: What a bunch of scaredy cats?

They all look up and see Marceline floating above them.

Finn: Oh, it's just you. You had Jake scared for a second there.

Jake: What? It was you who was shaking in your little booties.

Finn: I don't wear booties. You do, dude.

Jake: Yeah, well... uh.... hey, Marceline, we're telling scary stories.

Marceline: I know. I heard Finn's. It wasn't all that scary.

BMO: I threw peanuts at the Lich!

Marceline: Uh.... sure you did... well, you guys wanna hear my story? I call it...

=
================================================================= Draculene

=
=================================================================

Finn and BMO are reading the news.

Finn: Check this out, BMO! Some other local dude has been drained of his blood with two teeth marks on his neck.

BMO: Oo! Says here that police have no idea what's going on.

Jake is heading out.

Jake: Gotta go. Me, Lady, and the pups were invited to Marceline's. She said she couldn't wait to have us and our precious blood for dinner or something like that. You know those wacky goths...

Finn: 'Kay. Just look out for those vampires that've been sighted lately.... [shocked] wait!

Finn looks over at Jake.

Finn: Jake.... you forgot your coat, dude! It's flippin' raining out there!

Jake: Oh, yeah. Thanks.

[Jake exits]

Finn: oh, and in a completely unrelated story, the last few people that Marceline invited for dinner have just mysteriously disappeared... weird.

BMO: I hope Jake doesn't go coincidentally missing like those other guys.

In the next scene, Jake, Rainicorn, and the pups are walking along a dark road with dead trees lining the sides, under a moon in a cloudy evening sky.

As they walk along the narrow road to the house, Marceline' head appears in the sky, a wavering ghostly image against the full moon. When they arrive at the house, Jake rings the doorbell.

The door creaks open, and the family walk in to the dark stone entrance hall. Marceline appears in a puff of smoke on some nearby stairs.

Marceline: Well, if it isn't my good friends, Jake and... um....

Jake seems to notice that Marceline's shadow seems to act independently of her body, and he becomes suspicious.

Jake: Something's strange... pups, did any of you guys toot? Be honest.

Jake Junior: Uh... Charlie did it!

Marceline seats her guests at one end of a long table while she takes the other end.

Jake: Ooo! Mac and cheese! [fancy] Very sophisticated.

Suddenly, a bunch of vampire bats fly over the table, screeching. They head over to Marceline, and land on the table in front of her. She starts petting them.

Marceline: Me and the bats have a lot in common. We both like blood.... [whispering to herself] precious, precious blood...

Jake is becoming more certain something's terribly wrong. He tries sneaking away to investigate.

Jake Junior: Where are you going, Dad?

Jake: Uh.... I need to go... to the bathroom. Yeah, that's it.

Jake runs past a few doors.

Marceline: You just passed the bathroom.

Jake: Uh, I'm a dog. I go outside.

Marceline shrugs her shoulders then continues eating.

Jake is wandering in a dark hallway.

Jake: Hmmm... what's wrong with this picture?

A stone gargoyle next to Jake blinks it's eyes a few times.

Gargoyle: I dunno.

Jake: Yeah, man... it doesn't seem too wait.

Jake stares at the gargoyle for a few seconds.

Gargoyle: Hi.

Jake runs off screaming.

Jake runs down some stairs, still screaming, and soon ends up in what looks like a blood bank.

Jake: Marceline has her own blood bank? Well, what'd ya know?

Jake notices some coffins and shudders.

Jake: [scared] Gaaaaaaahhh......

The lids start to slide off the coffins, and zombies come out of them.

Jake: Lady, pups, Marceline, heeeelp!!!!

One of the zombies grabs Jake's throat and strangles him.

Jake: [strangled] GAAAAK! GAAK! LAAAADYYYY!!!!!

Jake Junior walks into the room.

Jake Junior: Dad? [notices the zombies] DAAAAD!!!!

Jake Junior attacks the zombie and manages to knock it over, saving Jake.

A zombie's hand rakes its claws along Jake's side, and he screams in fright. He and Jake Junior run off and run up the spiral staircase. On the way up, Jake Junior notices a screaming voice. It's an old man all the way in the back of the room being cornered by zombies.

OLD MAN: Aaaaah! Heeeelp meeeee!!!!

Jake Junior runs past the zombies over to the scared man. She fights off the zombies, but is suddenly grabbed by the old man. The old man hisses at her, revealing his fangs.

Old Man: You fell for the oldest trick in the vampire book!

Jake Junior: Aaaah! Dad, help!

But it's too late. Jake already ran back to the dining room.

Jake runs up to the table to tell the others what happened.

Jake: [breathlessly] Marceline, Lady --- wait, where's Jake Junior?!?! Marceline: Jake, she's right here! Jake Junior: [droning] Hello, faaaaamily. I just wandered off and got lost. But Marceline here found meeeee.

Jake: Oh. Glad to know everything's okay. Well, let's get back to eating.

Back home, Jake tosses and turns in his bed, unable to sleep. When he hears a scraping noise at his window, he opens his eyes and looks over at the window. Jake Junior and the other pups, now vampires, are floating outside the window with Marceline.

Jake Junior: Join us, Faaatheeer. It's aaaawesooome being a vaaaampire!

Marceline: It is, I've been a vampire for literally CENTURIES now!

Jake: Aaaaah, Finn!

Fin: Jake! How many times have I told you that you're only imagining the pups outside the win oh, Glob!

BMO runs in.

BMO: Quick! We don't have much time! [holds a stake and mallet]

Marceline and the pups hiss at them. They all turn into bats and fly off quickly.

Jake: Finn, I've got to do something! Lady's totally going to freak if she finds out I let them drink blood after their bed time!

Finn: The only way to cure them is to kill the head vampire... who must be Marceline!

Jake: Kill my friend? B-b-b-but - [sighs] fine, if it'll cure the pups....

So the trio head off to Marceline's castle.

BMO: We finally made it!

Jake: But where are

Marceline and the pups drop down from the ceiling and attack the three.

Jake: Gaaah! Bad pups! You are SO grounded!

BMO: Help!

Finn: Get off!!!!

{Finn remembers the garlic he keeps in his backpack}

Finn: Wait.... I always keep garlic in my backpack!

Jake stretches his hands into Finn's backpack, and grabs the garlic.

The vampires jump off of the trio, hissing at the garlic.

Finn: Don't make us do this, Marceline!

Marceline laughs menacingly at Finn.

Marceline: You don't have the guts to finish me off!!!

Finn: You're... [sighs] right. Jake, how can we kill her? She used to be our friend!

Jake: Friends, shmends, gimme the stuff!

Jake quickly snatches the garlic out of Finn's hands and throws it into Marceline's mouth, then stretches his hand over to her mouth and slams her mouth shut, making her swallow it.

Marceline: [choking on the garlic] H-- f-- j--- k--- y [melts]

The next day at the tree fort, Finn, Jake, BMO, and the pups are eating breakfast.

Jake: So glad my pups are back!

Jake Junior throws her dinner to the floor, then hisses at Jake.

Jake Junior: I'm still a vampire!

Jake Junior, the rest of the pups, Finn, and BMO float up from the table and hiss at Jake.

Jake: Aaaaaah! Impossible! We eliminated the head vampire!

Finn: No, BMO's the head vampire!

BMO: It's always the one you least suspect! Now it's time to suck your blood!

Jake: NO!!!!!!

Suddenly, everybody stops and looks at the screen. King Worm, Cinammon Bun, LSP, Marceline, the gargoyle, the zombies, the old man, Lady Rainicorn, Princess Bubblegum, and Peppermint Butler walk in. Everyone looks at the screen smiling.

Everybody: Happy Halloween!

[End of Act Three.]

The end.