Goliad (episode)/Transcript



(The episode begins with Jake trying to form a cube while Finn is trying to build a stick fort using twigs)

Jake: What'ya building?

(Finn stops building the stick fort)

Finn: Uhm, it's just a little stick fort.

Jake: Oh rad!

(Jake shrinks to a suitable size to play with the Stick Fort)

Jake: Look. It's just my size.

(Finn and Jake both laugh while Jake climbs onto the top of the fort)

Jake: (Role-Playing) Hey, get away from my fort you big stinky monster!

Finn: I like it when you get small Jake.

(Jake picks up a leaf from one of the sticks)

Jake: Yeah me to.

(Stick fort starts shaking mysteriously)

Jake: Woahwoa!

(The fort smashes into pieces, Jake falls but lands on his legs and Peppermint butler appear from underneath the broken stick fort pieces)

Finn: (Surprised) Woah, Peppermint butler!

Peppermint Butler: Finn, Jake. The Princess wants to see you.

(Scene changes to the Candy Kingdom, with Finn, Jake and Princess Bubblegum walking down a set of stairs)

Princess Bubblegum: As princess of Candy Kingdom, I'm in charge of a lot of candy people. They rely on me, I can't imagine what might happen to them if I was gone. And after my brush with death, in the hands of the Lich, (while yawning) I realized something (Stops yawning). I'm not gonna live forever Finn. (Whispers) I would if I could.

(Finn and Jake stare at Bubblegum)

Princess Bubblegum: The modern science just isn't there yet.

(Finn and Jake loot at each other while Bubblegum is talking)

Princess Bubblegum: (While unlocking a door) So I engineered a replacement who can live forever.

(The door unlocks and Bubblegum opens it)

(Finn and Jake stare)

Princess Bubblegum: I call her: Goliad.

(Finn and Jake walk towards Goliad)

Finn and Jake: (Finn)Wow! (Jake) Aww she's cute.

(Jake trys to climb in her tub but Goliad pushes him out)

(Jake laughs in response while Finn walks closer towards Goliad)

Finn: Hi Goliad, I'm Finn.

Jake: And I'm Jake.

Goliad: Hi Finn, Hi Jake.

Finn: Hi Goliad.

Goliad: (quietly) Hi Finn.

(Princess Bubblegum sits on a small seat)

Finn: What did you use to make her?

Princess Bubblegum: Oh, uhm... (starts brushing Goliads's paw with a brush) Pretty standard candy creature soup.

(Scene changes to a flashback of Princess Bubblegum trying to create Goliad)

(Bubblegum pours in candy soup with Cinnamon Bun inside it into a mixture of a unknown green sludge)

Princess Bubblegum (not in flashback): Some acids.

(Bubblegum pours scientific acids into the mixture while Cinnamon bun climbs out of the green mixture)

Princess Bubblegum: Some algebra.

(Bubblegum scrapes chalk dust of the small chalkboard into the mixture)

(Bubblegum then pulls out a necklace that has a miniature treasure chest on it)

Princess Bubblegum: (While picking out one of her baby teeth from the treasure chest) And I threw in one of my baby teeth so she had my DNA.

(Bubblegum throws the tooth into the mixture and starts stirring. It mixture turns and starts glowing in a hot pink color)

(Scene goes back real time, inside the Candy Kingdom)

Finn and Jake: Wow, DNA?!

Princess Bubblegum: Yea all it takes, is just one little tooth. Or, (pulls out one small strand of Finn's hair)a single hair.

(Bubblegum goes back to brushing Goliad's paw)

Princess Bubblegum: It's all it takes.

(Goliad moves her paw away from the brush but Bubblegum keeps brushing in the same spot where her paw was)

Jake: Princess Bubblegum, are you okay?

Princess Bubblegum: Yea, I'm good. Haven't slept for a solid 83 hours but... yea, I'm good.

Jake: Uhh you should go to bed.

Princess Bubblegum: I can't go to bed, Goliad has huge mondomamabrains.

(Goliad is then seen playing with a bunch of stuck together cubes)

Princess Bubblegum: I still need to fill them with knowledge. (Starts yawning) about how to rule a kingdom. (Stops yawning)

(Finn and Jake go closer towards Bubblegum)

Finn: What? Let us teach her.

Princess Bubblegum: Uhh, okay. I guess that will be alright.

Finn and Jake: (Finn) Yea! (Jake) Yea teachers! (Finn) Yea wohoo! (Jake) Teach, teaching teachers. (Goliad looks at Finn and Jake)

(Finn starts running around towards the door and Jake Stretches towards it in a pattern)

Finn and Jake: Woow,woow,woow! (Finn) C'mon Goliad.

(Goliad walks with Finn and Jake outside)

Finn: (While leaving Bubblegum inside Goliad's room)See ya later princess, get some sleep!

(Princess Bubblegum starts mumbling)

Princess Bubblegum: Huh, Bye guys... (Starts sleeping)

(Scene changes to a candy Playground)

Finn: Look Goliad. This is a Pre-school. I'm gonna set up some obstacles and all that for you to learn on, is that ok? (starts patting Goliad)

Goliad: Yea thanks Finn. I'm excited to learn.

Finn: Okay great. Jake, you go and get some kids from inside to help with the lesson and such.

Jake: Okay, C'mon Goliad.

(Jake and Goliad walk towards one of the rooms while Finn walks away and goes to find some items)

Goliad: Yes Jake.

(Scene changes to inside the infants room)

(Jake and Goliad walk inside)

Jake: Uhm...

(Jake and Goliad see the children being naughty and messing around)

(A peanut candy child growls)

Jake: Uhh...

(Jake notices some two candy people trying to rip one of the children arms off while he is laughing)

(One of them rips his left arm off and starts hitting him with it)

Red Gumball/Candy Child: (While beating him up) Stinking, durken...

(A marshmallow child is seen eating some of the toys, then suddenly a screaming green candy person falls and gets injured right next to him. Then the marshmallow starts beating him up)

(Some more of them are messing with the elderly)

Peanut Child: Get his brain! Get his brain!

(Jake's face turns red, he grows to an enormous size.)

Jake: Alright! It's my way or the highway! Quit donkin' around! I'm Don Juan Cherry Tempo!