User blog:ElectricMayhem/Crappy Fanfic Saga Adventures UNITE OR WHATEVER - Episode 1

Our series starts with Me-Mow and Donny the Grass Ogre in some place or wutevz with da Lich.

LICH: Go out into the real world... find this user called "ElectricMayhem", and PUNISH HIM for his stupid blog posts and attempts at being funny!

ME-MOW: But we are not prepared, sensei master.

LICH: Then I shall GIVE YOU POWERS!

DONNY: How many powers?

LICH: OVER 9000!

ME-MOW: What, 9000? There's no way that can be r---

LICH: SHUT YO MOUTH! [grants Donny and Me-Mow powers]

DONNY: Wow! I feel stronger! AND EVILER!!!! RAAAAW! How 'bout you, Me-Mow? .... Uh, Me-Mow....

ME-MOW: HISSSSSSSS!

LICH: Oh, yeah. I turned Me-Mow into a total insane troll/hater.

DONNY: Why?

LICH: 'CUZ I'VE GOT DA POWA! YEAH! UH-HUH!

DONNY: Well.... okay.

ME-MOW: RAAAAAAWR!

DONNY: Well, we'll go capture that EM guy for ya.

[in the real world]

We see EM walk into a pet store.

EM: Got any grapes?

EMPLOYEE: No, I don't find that duck song funny.

EM: FINE!

EMPLOYEE: Want this orange dog, it's for sale?

JAKE: Hey, you can't sell me! I belong to Finn. FINN THE HUMAN!

EMPLOYEE: Haha! It speaks little doggy gibberish!

EM: Awesome, I'll take it!

JAKE: Wut? You're sellin' me to HIM? HIIIIIM?!!?!?111

EMPLOYEE: I cannot understand doggy gibberish.

JAKE: URGH! You son of a---

EMPLOYEE: You cannot swear on this wiki... for some reason.

JAKE: THAT you understand?

EM: Heh, such cute doggy gibberish... let's roll!

The next day, EM brings Jake to the dog park.

JAKE: Urgh! I should be mathematically slamacowin' shmow-to-da-zowin' with my totes blooby bud, FINN! Wait... what?

Suddenly, EM noticed his crush, Penny, walking by.

EM: Uh, hey, Penny!

PENNY: Oh... um... hi... [runs off]

EM: Geez. SUM PEEPLEZ KAN BEE SO ROOD!

JAKE: Why is she named after a coin?

EM: You stay here and make doggy friends. I gotta hit the can.

In the bathroom....

EM: There you are! Time to HIT you! [punches tin can repeatedly] HA! I love hitting the can. OOOOOH, PUNS ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL THING.... or, is that technically things?

Just then, EM was mugged by a grass ogre dude.

EM: HOLY CRAP! WHO ARE YOU!

DONNY: Are you ElectricMayhem?

EM: Uh... what?

DONNY: IS YOUR WIKIA USER NAME ELECTRICMAYHEM?

EM: Aaaah!

DONNY: IS IT!

EM: Holycrapholycrapholycrap!

Just then, Penny entered the bathroom and saw the two.

PENNY: Dude, this is the girls' bathr--- WHAT IS THAT?

EM: Some guy, I guess! NOW HELP ME!!!

Penny ran to help EM, but was tackled by the crazed Me-Mow.

ME-MOW: Galfraxtranzlifoxdsfnhgv! HEE HEE HEEE!

PENNY: What the? [pulls out pocket knife]

ME-MOW: Mow?

PENNY: Bad kitty! [decapitates Me-Mow] BOOM! Where yo ugly head at now, Mittens?

EM: GAAAAAAK! HEEEELP!

PENNY: Oh, yeah!

DONNY: Die, ElectricMayhem! THE LICH DEMANDS IT! [is attacked by Jake]

EM: What is HAPPENING today?

JAKE: Just shut up and RUN FOR IT!

PENNY: Sounds good. LET'S-A GO!

EM and Penny escape the girls' bathroom as it suddenly bursts into flames for no reason.

EM: Who--- how WHAAAAAT?

JAKE: It's okay! I'm okay! Donny and Me-Mow are still dead! Let's go before they turn into zombies or wutevz! [runs off with EM and Penny]

TO BE CONTINUED