All the Little People/Transcript

(Finn and Jake are sitting atop a cliff made from a decrepit skyscraper overlooking some body of water)

Finn: Hey Jake, do you think you should date someone just like you or someone who’s like your opposite?

Jake: I don’t know. I’m the first come first serve kinda guy. Get in line ladies! This Rainicorn thing can’t last forever! *chuckles* (Magic Man peeks out from under a strip of grass) I didn’t mean that. Don’t spread that around.

Finn: So it’s not good to weigh someone’s qualities against your own?

Jake: Well, no. I mean, if you feel something, ya FEEEEEl something! (Jake’s head turns into a graph and his hand an upward moving arrow) It’s not about personality matrixals and charts, it’s all about the bu-bumps in your heart! (His head is a heart shape that beats every time he say “bumps” or “pumps”. He gets extremely close to Finn and his eyes are bugging out)You can’t stop the pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps! (Finn chuckles and then magic man)

Finn: Alright, well, what about BMO and Ice King?

Jake: What about them? (Looks confused)

Finn: Woould they make a good couple?

Jake: Whoa! Wait! Did BMO say something to you?

Finn: No no no!

Jake: Oh, I see. You’re being weird.

Finn: (Magic man reaches down into his hole and pulls out a bag) It’s not that weird! Come on!

Magic Man: Do what thoust will be the whole piece of Law.

Jake: BMO and Ice King?

Finn: (Magic man puts the bag on the outside of Finn’s pants) Yeah!

Magic Man: I’m not coming back.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Magic man retreats into his hole) You’re creepin’ me out.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Jake gets up) I’m just thinkin’ out loud. (Jake starts walking away and Finn bends forward so he can see Jake between his legs) What, can’t think out loud?

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Finn is walking back home with Jake) Oh, is THAT what you’re doing?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Yeah man! Pffft, jeez don’t be judgy.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: I’m not!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Yeah you are!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: How could you know that?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I can hear it in your tone.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: You caaaan? (In a mocking tone)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Yeah wise-guy.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Hey what’s that in your pants? (Jake points to the bag)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Finn looks at the back of his pants) What! Not again! (Finn sees the bag on the other side) Oh. I don’t know. (Finn grabs the bag) Whoa look.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Crazy. (Finn opens the bag and reaches in) Careful dude.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: What the? (Finn pulls out his hand with PB, LSP, BMO, Jake, and himself)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: What the heck are they alive! (They are now moving around aimlessly)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Hey are you guys alive? (BMO starts to fall off, but Jake catches him/her) I don’t know man, I think they’re some kind of magic toy.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Maybe it’s black magic. Maybe we shouldn’t mess with them.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: No man look! That’s you! (Jake is playing the viola with LSP on his back and Finn and BMO are dancing to the music) You’re totally shedding on the viola.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Yeah, that’s good. How many more thingies are in there?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Finn looks in the bag) Duude. Like a lot. Come on! Let’s check this out at the house. (They run towards the house)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: I’ll make a special spagot (spaghetti) with a new sauce.

<p class="MsoNormal">(Finn is at the table while Jake is cooking the spaghetti)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Finn dumps out some of them onto the table) Sheesh. So many. PB, you hang out with lady. (He picks up PB and moves her towards Lady) C-listers, go back in the bag. (Finn pushes Xergiok, Donny, Tiffany, Lemongrab, one of the Gumdrop girls, and Turtle Princess )

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Jake is stirring the noodles) Who’s in the C-list? (He adds something from a bottle. Presumably wine)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Jake dumps some spaghetti onto each plate) Tiffany, Donny. Well, he’s okay. Xergiok- a bunch a these guys!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: That’s not very nice. (Jake turns off the stove and brings the food to the table)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Don’t worry man. They’ll get involved eventually.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Involved with what? (Jake sits down and gives Jake his food)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I don’t know. Involved. Check out Lady and Princess Bubblegum! (Jake stretches to get forks)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Lady and PB are having a conversation. It looks as though PB is asking Lady questions) What are they talkin’ about?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: It’s hard to say, but I think it’s got something to do with Lady being pregos.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Whoa! What kinda narrative are you trying to create here!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: That’s your narrative buddy.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Alright, well, what else ya got goin’ on?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Hmm. Not much really. I got Ice King over here. (He points to Ice King)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Ice King? He’s not C-list?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (He is looking through the bag to find Ice Kings drums) Yeah, well, I saw his drum kit in here. Here we go. (He finds it and puts it in front of Ice King.) Okay, jam out little Ice King. (The Ice King starts playing)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Little Jake sees the Ice King playing and runs over to him to join in) Noo. Don’t play with that hack. Aww man. Hmm. (Jake looks surprised) They’ve got good chemistry. Who’ve guessed?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Cheemistryy. (Finn looks as though he just had a good idea)

<p class="MsoNormal">(Finn looks from several groups of toy people. Ice King and Jake playing together. Marceline and Hunson Aberdeer in the background with Finn stealing Lemongrab’s Lemon camel in the foreground. Mr. Cupcake exercising. Flame Princess and LSP playing cards)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Hey Finn, eat the food before it gets cold. (He pops up from behind Flame princess and LSP) I made a new sauce! Umm, earth to Finn, are you okay?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Yeees.

<p class="MsoNormal">(Finn is now awake, but in bed with Jake fast asleep. Finn looks over at Jake to make sure he’s asleep. Confident that he’s asleep, he grabs the bag from under his pillow and retreats into his sleeping bag. He takes the lens off a flashlight and puts it in front of him. Then he takes Mr. Cupcake and LSP out. Mr. Cupcake starts flexing and LSP is impressed. )

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: *chuckles* (LSP looks enamored and begins working her lumps. Mr. Cupcake and LSP start kissing) Whoooooa. (Finn looks curious and takes away LSP. Mr. Cupcake looks surprised. Finn looks and the bag and then mixes it. Finn grabs lady and then checks to make sure Jake is still asleep. He then puts Lady next to Mr. Cupcake. Mr. Cupcake starts flexing, but Lady ignores him and grazes a piece of Finn’s sleeping bag. When he sees nothing is happening, he pushes Lady into Mr. Cupcakes arms. Mr. Cupcake wiggles his eyebrows and Lady laughs. Finn then grabs Jake and contemplates what he’s about to do. He looks a bit concerned. Lady and Mr. Cupcake are kissing and Finn puts Jake right in front of them. Jake doesn’t notice, but his moves his head around to see them. Then Jake starts yelling “wah”. Mr. cupcake drops Lady and she acts with indignation towards Jake. Jake argues back and then Mr. Cupcake starts yelling at Jake. Jake pushes him and Lady pleads that they not fight. Finn looks towards the bag and then looks back with realization. He empties out the bag. The scene ends)

<p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Jake wakes up and heads down stairs. Finn is sitting at the dinner table with a multitude of Jay T. Doggzone books arranged into a little town.) You’re up early.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I didn’t sleep. (Very blunt and tired)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Jake comes ack to the table with a drink in a mug) You stay up all night readin’ trash books? *Finn makes a weak “meh” sound* I told you man, those datin’ books. (Sips drink) That stuff is mess you up. (Drinks again)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I’m not reading. I’m playing with the little wees

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Oh, let me see little me. (Jake stretches his head to find Toy Jake is sitting by himself next to an open book) Me look so lonely. Hey, Finn, pass me little Lady.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Uh, you guys broke up.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Wha? (Confused)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: She’s with someone else now.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Whooo? (Angry)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: He’s a cool guy, don’t worry about it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Jake hers Lady laughing and goes to the source. He finds Toy Finn in Lady’s lap kissing under a book teepee) Ahhhhhh! (He slams his fists in the table) What the ball man!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Finn laughs and shrugs and doesn’t sound as worn out as before) What?

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: What? What do ya think “what”!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Come on, they’re not real, they’re like toys. These guys here, they’re goin’ out. (Finn points the Marceline and Peppermint Butler in a tea cup. Marceline like the red off of Peppermint Butler’s side.) Pretty serious. And look at Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl. They’re still testing the waters. (Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl are dancing and are joined by Abracadaniel) But I think things are gonna work out. Check out Xergiok and Turtle P. (Turtle Princess is seen lightly spanking Xergiok. Finn laughs) Weird. But cool. Right Jake?

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (He slowly backs towards the exit) I don’t like where you’re going with this. It ain’t wholesome. I’m gonna go to Lady’s for a few days. To clear my head.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Okay. Whatever whatevs. (Finn goes over to Finn and Lady and chuckles) Weird. (He grabs Finn and Flame princess and says “Huuh?” curiously. He puts both of them near each other, but nothing happens. Finn breaks off part of a cookie and puts in on Toy Finn’s head. He grabs it and Flame Princess yawns. Finn uses a pencil to move Finn’s legs to walk towards Flame Princess. Flame Princess is pleasantly surprised to see Finn and giggles. Finn breaks part of the cookie crumb off and gives it to Flame princess. They then start to eat each end of what’s left. Lady comes out of her teepee to see Finn and Flame Princess and starts crying hysterically. Finn then drops PB in between Flame Princes and Toy Finn. At first they awkwardly stand around, but Finn moves PB’s hand onto Toy Finn’s shoulder. She begins massaging his shoulders and he likes it. Real Finn looks around nervously to make sure no one can see what he’s doing. Then they kiss and Flame Princess is outraged. She begins yelling at PB and PB yells back. Toy Finn tries to diffuse the situation, but Flame Princess leaps onto PB. PB’s dress catches on fire so she runs away into Lady’s teepee. Using Lady as a kind of hose, the water being tears, PB partially extinguishes Flame princess. They begin fighting and Big Finn is astonished and begins blushing. A card comes up that says 16 weeks later)

<p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Jake: I’m back! I got over all that messed up stuff you did. (The tree house is covered in trash and Finn looks awful) Yeesh. You okay man.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I don’t know.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Toy Finn is standing on top of a book staring into the distance)What’s little Finn doing?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Heeee’s thinking.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: He looks sad. What’s he thinking about. (Jake looks concerned)

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I don’t know. Probably lots of stuff.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Where’s little Rainicorn?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Probably still crying.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Wha?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: She’s not handling the brake up very well.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Jake sees Lady crying in her teepee still) Aww.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: PB’s good, though. (PB is on a weight bench lifting weights and she has become very toned. She looks very angry) After little Finn dumped her, she started working out. Looks like she’s really into it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: This is messed up dude. You’ve crossed the line from weird curiosity to some dark messed up stuff.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (He looks perturbed)I know!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Marceline has licked away half of Peppermint Butler) The destruction! (Xergiok looks like he’s in pain and Turtle Princess is furiously spanking him) The depravity! (Choose Goose, Abracadaniel, and Lollipop Girl are all tangled up together) The wrongness of it all! I’m taking that bag back to the cliff where we found it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Jake tries to grab them but Finn grabs his arms) No man! I gotta fix this mess! Look at me man! I’m staring into the shadow of my darkest mind hole! I gotta help him!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: You can’t! Just let them do their own biz man!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I junked them up to hard though! I gotta step in!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Who would ya do that?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Finn let’s go of his arms and Jake steps back) I’m gonna talk to him.

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: But he can’t hear you.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Yeah, why is that?

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Hmm. Maybe we’re on different dimensional planes and the border between our planes is like a two way mirror. So we can see him, but he can’t see us.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Finn gets really close to Toy Finn) Lemme try this. Finn! Can you hear me? (Finn sticks his tongue out while talking and pokes little Finn a few times) We’re connected! FINN! (Little Finn is shown standing as the same cliff as in the beginning and talks as though he’s depressed)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Try shakin’ him.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Why?

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Maybe we’re vibrating on different intervals. Try shakin’ him at different speeds and see if he responds.

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (Finn grabs him and starts shaking) Okay. Fiiiiiiinn! Fiiiiiiiiiinn!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Now go faster!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN! (In the Little People world, some cloud begin to form a crude Finn head)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Faster!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (The cloud Finn says this in the Little People world) FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN! (The clouds dissipate and little Finn looks surprised)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Go slower, he saw you!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: Okay. (Cloud Finn says this in the Little People’s world) Fiiiin. Can you hear me?

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: (Little Finn responds with “wah”s) Whoa! Neat!

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: I made you do those crummy things. I’m why yous guys is fighting. I’m the big you. I came to apologize. I will never interfere with your lives again. (Little Finn asks a question) Don’t worry I will- take care of it. (The clouds dissipate and then reassemble) Sorry my arm got tired. (Little Finn is confused by this) Never mind it’ll be fine. Goodbye little Finn! I’m not coming back!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Now what?

<p class="MsoNormal">Finn: (He is shaking Lady, PB, and Flame Princess at the same time and they all see the cloud) Hey ladies! This is big Finn! I caused all the problems! It wasn’t anyone’s fault! Don’t be mad at each other! Have a… Dance party! Okay goodbye! I’m not coming back! (Finn pulls a stereo out of the bag and starts the music. The three of them begin dancing)

<p class="MsoNormal">Jake: Is that gonna do it? (The little people to the party and start dancing) Get the C-listers out. (They begin dancing as well) Good party. Oh flip! (BMO and Ice King are dancing) Look who’s hittin’ it off with the Ice King! *chuckles*

<p class="MsoNormal">