User blog:BNSF1995/Adventure Time with Finn and Fionna/The Monster

[The episode begins with Finn, face down on the couch.]

Fionna: [offscreen] Finn? Where are you?

[Fionna enters the living room and finds Finn.]

Fionna: Finn? You okay?

Finn: [voice muffled by couch] Leave me alone, Fionna.

Fionna: Finn, please. Don't shut me out. I'm here for you.

[Finn lifts his head up to reveal he has been crying alot.]

Finn: Why? Why did it have to happen?

Fionna: [sadly] I don't know. I just don't know.

Finn: I could've stopped it.

Fionna: How? There's no easy way around diplomatic immunity.

[Finn starts to get angry, and stands up.]

Finn: Diplomatic immunity?! That freak has no legal jurasdiction! He's just an dangerous fanatic! I should've put him down like the mental case he is instead of resorting to pranks! Why didn't I kill him? That's what I keep asking myself: WHY?!

[Fionna puts her hands on Finn's shoulders in a reassuring manner.]

Fionna: Because you're a good person, Finn. In hindsight, I should've come along. Maybe things would be different now.

Finn: What's the point? It's all over. PB just sees me as a kid now. She won't acknowledge the time we spent together during that period. I fear I'll...[he begins to cry again] never love again.

[''He breaks down in tears. Fionna, also tearing up, pulls Finn into a hug.'']

Fionna: Shh, it's okay, Finn. I'm here.

[Finn pulls back after a bit, but he and Fionna are still in an embrace.]

Finn: Th-th-thank you...

[Fionna gives a small smile, and kisses him on the cheek.]

Fionna: Come on. Let's go for a walk. We can go see what Choose Goose has.

Finn: Yeah...I guess that'd be okay. As long as we don't go anywhere near the Candy Kingdom.

Fionna: I'll make sure of it.

[''Finn and Fionna step outside the Tree Fort. Finn takes a deep breath.'']

Finn: Been a few days since I left the house.

Fionna: It's understandable.

[All of a sudden, a Lumpy Space person approaches them.]

Lumpy Space Messanger: Sir! My sir! A message from their majesties. [activates hologram]

Finn: The King and Queen of Lumpy Space. How may we be of service? And...why do you look different from the last time I saw you?

Lumpy Space Queen: [crying] We can't find our baby girl!

Lumpy Space King: [crying] She's been missing for days!

Finn: Oh, Glob, this again. Look, we'll find her, alright? I've got a good idea as to where she is.

Lumpy Space King: [to queen] No more tears, Boobly-Bear. [to Finn] Please, take her these sandwiches we made. She loves these sandwiches. Thank you, my friends.

Finn: Sandwiches, huh? Alright, let's get going, Fionna.

Fionna: Right.

[Scene changes to Finn and Fionna walking through a forest with the basket of sandwiches.]

Fionna: So, where do you think she is?

Finn: I know where Lumpy Space Princess is. She's in the woods eating beans.

Fionna: Ah, I remember. Back when Marceline and her ghost friends pranked us.

Finn: That was...an interesting experience. Still wouldn't actually go through with it for real, though. I could never, ever imagine giving up my humanity.

Fionna: Yeah. Me neither.

[''They stop at the base of a tree and look around. A little person holding a sock falls out of the tree.'']

Fat Villager: Please, please help me. A monster is terrorizing our village and has eaten up all the crops.

Finn: Why were you up here in this tree?

Fat Villager: I thought I saw some food, and I was hiding from the monster. [groans] You must help. [eats sock]

Finn: Hmm. I guess we can help this guy real quick and then get back to LSP.

Fionna: Where's your village?

Fat Villager: Umm, I don't remember.

[Another Fat Villager falls from a tree.]

Fat Villager: Howard remembers. Hey! It's Howard! Howard! You remember where the village is?

Howard: Yeah, I marked it on the map, but [sighs] it's only half.

[''Another Fat Villager falls from a tree, holding the other half of the map. Howard runs over to the villager and joins his half to the other's.'']

Howard: Well, we're all ready.

Fat Villager #2: We can't leave yet.

[Yet another Fat Villager falls from a tree, followed by a much smaller Fat Villager.]

Fat Villagers: Aw.

[''An even smaller Fat Villager falls from the same tree on top of the small Fat Villager. It then takes a very tiny villager out from underneath its shirt.'']

Howard: Alright, now we're ready.

Fat Villager #3: What's in the basket?

Fionna: Sandwiches.

Fat Villagers: Food! Food! [reach for the basket]

Finn: Wait! You can't eat this food! It's not ours to give!

Fat Villagers: Aw.

Finn: Now, show us the way to your town.

Fat Villager #4: Too tired from hunger. Carry me?

Finn: [sighs] Okay. [picks up villager]

Fat Villagers: [cheer]

[Scene changes to the village.]

Fat Villager #1: The monster lives in that windmill, but we're too scared to go near it.

Finn: Well, lucky for you, as grade-A adventurers, me and Fionna are resistant to fear.

[''Finn and Fionna walk up the windmill. Finn picks up a dagger off the ground, then drops it.'']

Finn: What am I doing? I don't need a dagger.

Fionna: Be alert. Anything could pop out of there and attack without warning. [pulls out Kitty Litter Sword]

Finn: Right. [opens door and walks in, pulling out his Root Sword]

Fionna: Be careful, Finn.

[Finn, sword drawn, walks toward a bed and pulls back the cover, revealing Lumpy Space Princess.]

Finn & Lumpy Space Princess: [scream]

Finn: It's you!

Lumpy Space Princess: Finn, what the junk?

Fionna: Well, that was easier than I thought.

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, sandwiches! [takes basket from Fionna]

Fionna: LSP, what the heck are you doin' here?

Finn: Are you in here making out with the monster?

Lumpy Space Princess: [stops eating sandwich] No... I am the monster.

Fionna: What?

Lumpy Space Princess: It's a long story.

[The three pull up some boxes to sit on as a flashback begins.]

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: It all started at my lumpin' parents' house.

Lumpy Space King: Daughter?

Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah?

Lumpy Space Queen: How are the sandwiches?

Lumpy Space Princess: They're lumpin' delicious, Mom.

Lumpy Space King: You know, you could enjoy your mom's sandwiches every day if you came back more often.

Lumpy Space Princess: No. You can have them delivered to me at my apartment.

Lumpy Space Queen: We want you to move back home, sweetheart.

Lumpy Space Princess: What?! [throws plate of sandwiches away] You invited me here under false pretenses?! [storms out]

Lumpy Space King: Wait, sweetheart. We're just worried about you.

Lumpy Space Princess: Ha! Y'all don't think I can make it on my own? I'll show you! I'm running away!

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: I stormed out and left Lumpy Space forever.

[Flashback ends.]

Fionna: Oh, and then you found this windmill.

Lumpy Space Princess: [mouth full of sandwich] No. Something else happened first. Keep listening.

Finn: I can tell this is gonna be long.

[Flashback resumes.]

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: I was so cold, and I was so very hungry.

[''Lumpy Space Princess wanders through a forest and peels the bark off a tree. She eats it but immediately throws up. Thunder rumbles, and it starts raining.'']

Lumpy Space Princess: Uh! Oh, Glob! Maybe I can... make a shelter out of these nuts!

[She assembles some acorns into a small igloo-like structure, but once she gets inside, it falls apart.]

Lumpy Space Princess: It's not fair.

[''Some wolves come up and lick her. They stop to let Mama Wolf pick her up and take her into their cave.'']

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: I was rescued by a family of wolves. The mama wolf was all like, "We must take care of her, as if she were our own." And Papa Wolf was all like, "This is a special child who needs special love because she's gonna be great when she grows up."

[Flashback ends.]

Finn: So these were talking wolves?

Lumpy Space Princess: No, they were normal wolves. I knew what they were thinking because of their body language. Stop interrupting, Finn.

[Finn frowns.]

Lumpy Space Princess: I found a home where I could act like myself.

[Flashback resumes.]

[The wolves lick Lumpy Space Princess, and she runs with them.]

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: They took care of me.

[''The wolves present some dead rabbits to Lumpy Space Princess. Then Lumpy Space Princess howls at the moon with '' them, and runs with them again.]

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: I knew that if my parents could see me now, they'd be jealous of how lumpin' awesome I am.

[The wolves and Lumpy Space Princess, each carrying a pumpkin, run back to the cave.]

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, my Glob!

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: But then, the drama started.

[A wolf licks another's back.]

Lumpy Space Princess: [gasps] [leaves cave and floats over to two other wolves] Stephanie, Sue, can you guys keep a secret? [Sue pants] Okay, here's the secret: I just saw Jessica making out with Mark... behind Tony's back! Stephanie, are you even listening? 'Cause I'm kinda freaking out right now! Tony's gonna come back from hunting any minute now, and—

[A howl is heard.]

Lumpy Space Princess: [gasps]

[Three wolves drag a dead horse toward the cave.]

Lumpy Space Princess: Hi, Tony! Oh, my Glob. Guys, what are we gonna—[Stephanie and Sue walk away toward the cave] oh.

[Scene changes to inside the cave, where the wolves are eating the dead horse.]

Lumpy Space Princess: So, should we say something to Tony?

[The wolves continue eating.]

Lumpy Space Princess: You guys! [floats over to the middle of the cave] TONY, JESSICA'S CHEATING ON YOU!

[All the wolves stop and look at her.]

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, my Glob. Oh, my Glob. Oh, my Glob.

[The wolves start growling and surround her.]

Lumpy Space Princess: Look, I'm sorry. I know it's none of my business. I know, I—

[Stephanie howls.]

Lumpy Space Princess: Because I think Tony has a right to know, Stephanie!

[Another wolf howls.]

Lumpy Space Princess: Nuh-uh, Miranda, I do not like Tony.

[Jessica starts licking Lumpy Space Princess.]

Lumpy Space Princess: [slaps Jessica] No, Jessica! Don't cheat on Tony with me!

[The wolves growl, pounce on her, and start biting.]

Lumpy Space Princess: [screams] [breaks free and leaves the cave]

[The wolves run after her.]

Lumpy Space Princess: [panting] Ah! [looks at a wolf on her right] Oh, Glob! [looks at a wolf on her left] Oh, no! Aah! [falls off a ledge] [screams] [slides down the cliff and lands in a mud puddle] Oh, Glob.

[Scene changes to the Fat Villagers harvesting crops.]

Lumpy Space Princess [voice-over]: I came upon a tribe of villagers.

Lumpy Space Princess: [face covered in mud and twigs] [groans]

Female Fat Villager: [drops barrel of apples and runs away] Monster!

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, I'm so hungry! [eats the apples]

Male Fat Villager: Monster! [runs away]

Lumpy Space Princess: Ah! [eats plants]

Another Fat Villager: Monster! [runs away]

Lumpy Space Princess: [takes wheelbarrow of watermelons and apples and dumps its contents into her mouth]

[Flashback ends.]

Lumpy Space Princess: Anyway, then I found this windmill, and whenever I get hungry, I dress up like the monster and I go eat all the villagers' crops.

[Finn gets really angry.]

Finn: LSP, WHAT THE NIGHTOSPHERE?!

Lumpy Space Princess: Why are you so angry all of a sudden?!

Finn: YOU ARE CULTIVATING A CULTURE OF FEAR IN THIS DEFENSELESS VILLAGE TO JUSTIFY STEALING FOOD FROM THESE INNOCENT VILLAGERS!

Lumpy Space Princess: Don't say that. [drops basket of sandwiches] You're makin' me feel bad. [cries]

Fionna: LSP, no! Please forgive him. Surely, you've heard of recent events in the Candy Kingdom?

Lumpy Space Princess: Something about some guy with a lemon head going in an taking over?

Fionna: There's more to it. But long story short, Bubblegum is back to her normal age, and whatever there was between her and Finn...is gone now.

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh...oh, Glob. I didn't know. Finn, I'm so sorry.

Finn: [Still a bit angry] Don't be. The only one who'll be sorry is Lemongrab when I'm done with him.

Fionna: Come on, Finn. Let's get these sandwiches sorted out.

[Finn and Fionna pick up the sandwiches, put them back in the basket, and hand it back to Lumpy Space Princess]

Lumpy Space Princess: Thanks, guys.

Fionna: LSP, if you wanna feel better, you should apologize to the farmers and make amends.

Lumpy Space Princess: Really?

Finn: Yeah, that'll work.

[Lumpy Space Princess leaves the windmill with the basket in hand and floats into the village.]

Fat Villager: Monster! Monster! Monster! Monster!

Lumpy Space Princess: No. No, wait!

Fat Villagers: [armed with a hoe, a saw, and a dagger] Monster! Monster!

Lumpy Space Princess: I'm not a monster! I was just pretending to be a monster.

Fat Villagers: Uh?

Lumpy Space Princess: I'm sorry that you're starving because I ate all of your crops, even though you're all still really fat, and I probably helped you lose some weight.

Fat Villager: Did she just call us fat?

Lumpy Space Princess: Don't get all bent out of shape! I'm just being honest!

Finn: LSP!

Lumpy Space Princess: What?

Finn: My, Glob! You are just terrible today!

[Lumpy Space Princess eats a sandwich.]

Fat Villager: Look, the monster eats while it apologizes! Let's kill it!

[''They chase after her with tools and a lit torch. Finn and Fionna follow. They corner her against a cliff.'']

Lumpy Space Princess: Please don't kill me!

Fat Villager: We have to!

Finn: Well, you don't have to.

Fionna: Yeah, you could just let her go.

Fat Villager: If we let her go, she'll keep eating our crops, and we'll starve!

[Finn snaps and pulls out his Root Sword.]

Finn: THEN YOU'LL DIE!

Fionna: FINN, NO!

Finn: IT'S MY WAY OR THE UNDERWORLD, YOU SENTIENT BLOBS OF LARD! I'LL TURN YOUR VILLAGE INTO A MASS GRAVE AND FERTILIZE IT WITH THE BLOOD OF LEMONGRAB!!!!!

Fionna: Finn! Please! This isn't like you!

Finn: OUT OF MY WAY!

Fionna: This isn't righteous!

Finn: OH, BUT IT IS! I SEE NOW MY NEW PURPOSE: CRUSH THE ENEMY! SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE ME! AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN!!!!

Fionna: Finn...you've finally lost it...no. Please, no. I can't lose you to evil!

[Meanwhile, Lumpy Space Princess is still cornered by the villagers]

Lumpy Space Princess: Why don't you just get your parents to buy you more crops?

[Some small Fat Villagers come into view]

Fat Villager: We are parents! Those crops were for our children!

Lumpy Space Princess: You guys are parents? Just like my parents... [takes a note out of the basket that  reads, "Come home. We lumpin love you. —Mom & Dad"]

Lumpy Space Princess: Here, [hands basket to Fat Villagers] I want you to have these sandwiches.

Fat Villagers: [eagerly] Sandwiches.

Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah, they're really good. They're made with a lot of love.

[Each Fat Villager starts eating a sandwich.]

Lumpy Space Princess: I saved the village!

[Scene changes to Lumpy Space.]

Lumpy Space Princess: [to her parents] And that's how I saved the village! [eats a sandwich]

Lumpy Space King: Well, we're just glad you're home.

Lumpy Space Princess: Whatever.

Lumpy Space King: And thank you, Finn and Fionna. Finn and Fionna?

[The scene cuts back home to Finn bawling into Fionna's chest]

Finn: IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! WHY DID PB HAVE TO BECOME 18 AGAIN?! WHY?!?!?!

[''Fionna says nothing. She just holds Finn closer. There is then a knock at the door.'']

BMO: I'll get it!

[BMO walks to the door, and opens it to reveal Prince Gumball.]

BMO: Oh, hello, Bubba! Here to be schooled again?

Prince Gumball: Not today, BMO. Besides, I don't think I can stomach another loss at Street Fighter II. I'm actually here to see Finn and Fionna. Are they home?

BMO: Uh...Finn's having a moment.

[Finn's crying can be heard upstairs.]

Prince Gumball: Yeesh, he is really taking this badly.

[PG walks upstairs.]

Prince Gumball: Hey, Fionna.

Fionna: Oh, hi, PG. Uh, now isn't a good time.

Prince Gumball: Yeah, well, I heard about what happened a few days ago. Let me tell you: last time I go on a state visit to another kingdom. I'll leave it to sis next time.

Fionna: So that's why you weren't there when Lemongrab came. He was opportunistic.

Prince Gumball: So, give it to me straight: how badly is he taking this?

Fionna: He had a rather violent psychotic episode earlier today. He blew up at some villagers and tried slaughtering them when they threatened LSPs life. He even quoted Conan the Barbarian.

Prince Gumball: That...sounds very serious. Oh, this is all my fault! I've broken the bro code!

Fionna: Bro code?

Prince Gumball: Yeah, bro code. Me and Finn are bros, right?

Fionna: I...guess.

Prince Gumball: Look, I was sent to deliver this letter. I would've sent Cinnamon Bun, but he and Balsamic Vinegar were busy smashing their heads into stuff.

Fionna: Oh...wow.

Prince Gumball: Yeah, I've gotta get back before they do anything permanent to themselves.

Fionna: Alright. See ya.

[''Prince Gumball leaves. Fionna then opens the letter as Finn slinks to his bed in depression.'']

Fionna: Huh...this looks like PBs handwriting alright.

[Fionna walks upstairs and finds Finn in his bed.]

Fionna: Hey, Finn? This letter is addressed to you.

Finn: What does it say?

Fionna: It says...

Dear Finn,

''I heard of a near-slaughter in a village near the forest, and since it was LSP-related, I thought you and Fionna would be there. Turns out I was right.''

''I can't help but think that this incident was my fault. The time I spent as a 13-year old...I still remember it. It's not five years ago to me, it's yesterday. I cannot fathom how much I hurt you, Finn, and the events of earlier today have wracked me with guilt. I have lost sleep over the events of a few days ago.''

''However, there is nothing I can do now. Even if I wanted to re-de-age, Lemongrab would still return, as Prince Gumball does not have as much power as I do, and therefore, does not have the authority to rule the kingdom in my stead, which is why I send him as our representative. In hindsight, I wonder if I was too greedy with power, and whether we should be equals. I mean, I know he's younger than me by, like, three years, but should it really matter? We built this kingdom from the ground up together, yet I've treated him as second-rate. No more. We are now equals as of today.''

''Even if age separates us, that shouldn't stop us from being friends. I still care about you, and Fionna. You two are the greatest heroes Ooo has ever known. And if you went off the deep end, I don't know what I'd do.''

''In closing, please. Don't avoid me like the plague. No one besides Lemongrab is to blame. Not even yourself. I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really...''

Fionna: Wow. She wrote "really" 50 times.

''SORRY about the Lemongrab Incident. I hope we can put this thing behind us and return to how things used to be.''

Sincerely,

Princess Bonnibel B. Bubblegum

''PS: Don't ask what the middle "B" stands for. I don't even know.''

[Fionna puts down the letter, and looks at Finn.]

Fionna: You okay, Finn?

[Finn gives a small smile, but still has tears in his eyes.]

Finn: That...that's all I wanted to hear.

[The episode ends.]