The Witch's Garden (episode)/Transcript


 * [The episode begins with a frog carrying a crown walking with Finn and Jake following behind.]


 * Jake: Dude... how long are we gonna follow this frog?


 * Finn: I just wanna see 'im put on that crown.


 * [The frog walks past a locked gate.]


 * Finn and Jake: [Running towards the gate] Wooow!


 * Jake: It looks cool in there!


 * Finn: [Pointing to lock on gate] Too bad we don't have the key to this.


 * Jake: What're you talkin' about? [Indicating his legs] I've got two keys right here!


 * [Finn laughs and gets on Jake's back. Jake stretches over the wall of the garden.]


 * Finn: Whoo-hoo!


 * [Finn and Jake land inside the garden.]


 * Jake: Wow! Look at this place!


 * Finn: Jake. Are these donuts?


 * Jake: They look like donuts.


 * Finn: But maybe they're poisonous donuts! [Jake begins sniffing one of the donuts on the bush.] Yeah! Sniff it, Jake! Suck up those toxins!


 * [Jake sniffs it thoroughly.]


 * Jake: Wait a second... I don't know what poison smells like.


 * Witch: Hey! [She strains towards Finn and Jake on her cane.] [Lifting her cane] Razzamafoo!


 * [She switches places with Finn and Jake.]


 * Jake: Hey!


 * Finn: What gives?!


 * Witch: You ate one of my donuts!


 * Jake: No, I didn't. I just sniffed it.


 * Witch: RAAAAAGH!! You're lying! The stink of magic dog lips is everywhere!


 * Finn: Holy slug, lady! Calm down!


 * Jake: Listen, Mrs. Witch.


 * Witch: I never married!


 * Jake: Well I never ate your donuts.


 * Witch: You... you're eating one right now!


 * Jake: [Mouth full] No, I'm not! [Noticing he is holding a donut] Whoa-hoa! Hm... That's weird... I don't even remember grabbing this. My subconscious must be hungry, huh? Huh... whatever. [Finishes donut]


 * Witch: [Convulses angrily] MAGICUS NOMORICUS!


 * Jake: Uh-oh. [Gets blasted]


 * Finn: AAH! [The magic smoke makes him and Jake cough.] Dude, are you okay?


 * Jake: Yeah... I think so. Just a little chilly. [Noticing he is in his underwear] WHOA!


 * Witch: Ahahahahahehehe!


 * Finn: What did she do to you?


 * Witch: I stripped him of his magical powers!


 * Finn: For stealing one of your billions of donuts?!


 * Jake: Yeah, it's not like I killed your husband or somethin'.


 * Witch: [Livid] I AM NOT MARRIED!


 * Finn: The point is you overreacted.


 * Jake: And what gives? [Pointing to his nipple] I used to have like eight more of these things.


 * Witch: The only way I'll give back your powers is if you admit your error and say you're sorry and mean it! ...'Cause I can tell the difference.


 * Jake: Well, you can forget it because you're the one who's wrong! [To Finn] ...Right?


 * Finn: Total support, dude.


 * Witch: [Convulsing angrily] RRRRAAAARRGH!! [Waving her cane] Go-backicus-from-whence-you-came-icus!


 * Finn: Aw, now you're just makin' these up!

[He and Jake disappear.]


 * Witch: [Rubbing one of the donuts] Are you alright, my... my donut pretties? Heh heh... Wait a second. YOU'RE A BAGEL! LIARS! LIARS EVERYWHERE! [The bagel becomes "stripped". Scene shifts to the Tree Fort.]


 * Finn: There's gotta be a way to get your powers back! Where'd they come from, anyway? Were you born with them? Or... did you have a freak industrial accident?!


 * Jake: Ha. That takes me back. Let me just... remember. [A memory bubble appears above his head.] I see a memory. When I was just a pupster... I'm rollin' around in a mud puddle, and I'm just... lovin's it. Oh, no! [The bubble explodes. Jake pants from exhaustion.] Whoo... Remembering is hard work.


 * Finn: What happened next?!


 * Jake: Oh. Um... I went into the mud, and... I guess I became a magic dog?


 * Finn: Okay! Then our course is clear! We'll roll you in every mud puddle in Ooo until we find the one that'll restore your powers.


 * Jake: [Lying down] That's nuts, man. You got any idea of how many mud puddles are in the land of Ooo? Four? Maybe even five?


 * Finn: Jake, come on! We've always been lucky, buddy! Maybe the first mud puddle we find will be the right one!


 * Jake: Nonsense... but I like it!


 * Finn: [Jumping out window] Then away! Hyuh! Whoo-hoo!


 * Jake: Yeah, let's do it!


 * [Finn lands on his feet; Jake lands on his face with a thud.]


 * Finn: Oh, my gosh!


 * Jake: I forgot that I don't have magic powers anymore. How do we search for the mud without my powers?


 * Finn: We run! Run like energetic little boys! [Finn runs quickly away.]


 * Jake: [To himself] This whole time, I thought running was some sort of... leg magic. [Jake begins trudging along. Before long, he gets tired.] Huh... Look at me. I'm runnin'! [Pants heavily; the camera gets ahead of him as he slows down.] Oh, no... [Thud; camera pans back to Jake.] [Out of breath] Running.... is... evil...


 * Finn: Come on, lazy bones!


 * Jake: It's too hard!


 * Finn: I guess you could ride on my backpack.


 * Jake: [Straining] I can't reach. [Finn bends backwards; Jake grabs on to Finn's neck.] You good, Finn?


 * Finn: [Choking] You're... strangling me... a little, is all.


 * [Scene transition to the River of Junk.]


 * Finn: Look there! Across the River of Junk! There's an ideal mud puddle.


 * Jake: I'll stretch into a boat! [Strains then farts] I'm startin' to really miss that old magic of mine.


 * Finn: We can swim this river easy! [Jumps into river] Come on, Jake! [Swims across, leaving Jake behind]


 * Jake: [To himself] Man, that looks exhausting.


 * [A projection of Jake's subconscious appears on a piece of furniture in the river.]