User blog:Magma Princess/Adventure Time with Finn Fionna/To cut a woman's hair

(We find our heroes in the forest with Finn feeding baby birds in nest mashed up food)

Birds: Chirp Chirp Chirp

Finn: Hey Fionna give me some of that apple

Fionna: Don’t you think that’s a little gross Finn?

(Fionna reaches into her pack and pulls out an apple and hands it to Finn)

Finn: It’s what mother birds do it all the time.

(Finn starts chewing apple.)

Fionna smirks: I know what you’re thinking about.

Finn (Blurred because there is an apple in his mouth): What?

Fionna: Kissing Princess Bubblegum on the mouth.

(Finn spits chewed up apple to baby birds.)

Finn (quickly & with nervousness in his voice): No I’m not. And I wouldn’t even do that ever.

Fionna laughs: Yeah you would, your just bad at talking to girls.

Finn: I’m talking to you

Fionna: I’m your sister I don’t count

(Finn continues feeding birds)

Finn turns to the bird with a bandage on it’s beak: Should I keep goin’ Misses Yodar.

Misses Yodar: No Finn that’s plenty, thank you.

Finn: Okay

(Throws away apple)

Finn: Let us know if you need anything at all.

Misses Yodar: You two are heroes

(Finn jumps off tree and spins around branch to land swiftly on the ground while Fionna does a double backflip onto the ground)

BMO (From the Tree): BMO needs help!

Fionna: *sigh* BMO, don’t climb a tree if your too afraid to come down.

(She turns to Finn)

Fionna: I’ll go get him, you go look for monsters to beat up

Finn: K!

(Finn walks along the forest until he hears a rustling sound in a bush, Finn looks at the bush confused)

Finn: Huh?

(Tree Witch pops out of the bush)

Tree witch: hey how’s it going?

(Brushes the bush off her dress)

(Fionna jumps out of tree and places BMO on the ground)

Tree Witch: Is that true? What the bird said? You guys are heroes’?

Fionna: Were you spying on us?

Finn: Why are you hiding in that shrub?

Tree Witch: Oh, I wasn’t hiding or spying, I’m a tree witch. I can hear everything in the forest, plus I can turn into Trees and shrubs and bushes and stuff. Check it out.

(Holds out arms and they grow into mini trees then pops back to normal hands)

BMO: Bleh

(A Tree Wizard comes out from the bush behind Fionna)

Fionna: AHHH! Who the NIGHTOSPHERE are you, and why are you so ugly?

Tree Wizard: Shut up you annoying kid! I’m the all mighty TREE WIZARD. I’m a level 35 wood nomad and a level 56 online role-player!

Fionna: So a nerd, right?

Tree Wizard: You will pay for your insolence!

(He reaches up and all the leaves from the surrounding trees form around him to make a gun)

Tree Witch: STOP! My foolish brother, what are you doing? These two are heroes they can make us beautiful again!

Tree Wizard: Really?

Finn: Yeah, sure, what do you need?

BMO: Finn maybe we shou-

(Tree Witch cuts BMO off)

Tree Witch: So listen I need you two heroes to get me a lock of Princess Hair and my brother some prince hair.

(Scratches armpit then sniffs)

Finn: Why do you need guys need Princess & Prince hair?

Tree Witch: Why!? Because we have a balding problem, what are you blind?

(Pats bald head)

Tree Witch (Louder) Are You Blind!?

Finn and Fionna: No, what you’re not bald-starts nervously talking gibberish.

BMO: You guys are really bald

(Fionna slightly kicks BMO)

Tree Wizard: Anyway, we need the hair so we can put it on our head. (sticks her head out) And then we’ll be beautiful.

Finn: Oh, well we now lots of Princesses

(Fionna punches him)

Fionna: annoyingly laughs

Fionna(Normal): can you give us a minute?

Tree Wizard: Ya, Okay, make it quick, and if you try to escape, he cocks hos leave gun, I’ll make sure to give you a present

Fionna (whispers): We shouldn’t give the hair to them

Finn (whispers):: Why not?

Fionna (whispers): Because they’ll use for evil

Finn: maybe there good guys

Fionna: He has a gun!!!! Plus the’re crazy ugly.

(She turns her finger into a Venus fly trap and it swallows a butterfly. While the Tree Wizard takes out his grass gun and shoots butterflies)

Fionna: If they were good then they wouldn’t be so ugly.

Tree Witch: Are you guys still talking?

Tree Wizard: Maybe there making an escape plan.

Finn: So what do we do? Tell them we can’t help them because they’re so ugly?

Fionna Smacks him on his head: No dude she’ll kill us or put a freaky curse on us or something if we did something stupid like that

BMO tugs on their shirts so that they give him their full attention: Maybe BMO can be of some help

(BMO walks over to Tree Witch)

BMO (Smooth talking with romantic music in the background): Hey girl, sorry about that, (lays down), don’t mind if I take a load off do ya?

(Finn and Fionna mouthes drop open and they stare at one another)

Fionna (whispers): Did you now BMO was cool?

(Finn shakes his head)

Tree Witch: What were you guys talking about?

BMO: How pretty you are

Tree Witch: Huh?

BMO: We were just saying how someone as pretty as you doesn’t even need a full head of hair.

Tree Wizard: Sis, you not gonna fall for this pile of butts

(Finn & Fionna bends down next to BMO)

BMO: Isn’t that what we were just talking about Finn?

Finn: Uh, ya totally BMO

Tree Witch: Oh, (giggles)

BMO: If I wasn’t already dating Loraine I be on you like butter on toast.

(Tree Witch Falls on ground to stare at BMO)

Tree Witch: I don’t mind if you have a GF.

BMO: Oh umm…

Finn: Dude I don’t think it’s working

Fionna: Ya, I think you’re making things worse.

(Tree Witch starts cuddling BMO)

BMO: ah-ah-ahhh

Tree Witch: How would you court me?

BMO: Umm, Spaghetti dinner.

Tree Witch: Hmm

Finn: Look lady we can’t help you guys get hair

Tree Witch: Why not?

(Tree Wizard fingers holds the gun ever so tighter)

Finn: Because we only help when someone in danger

Tree Wizard: Oh why didn’t you say so?

(Stands up and cracks his neck)

Tree Wizard: (Grunts)

(Uses magical powers to pick up BMO)

BMO: Huh what’s happening?

(He puts BMO in his arms and sticks a gun to his screen)

Fionna: I told you they were evil

Finn: Ahh Yaaaa!

(Jumps to attack Tree Wizard, but he deflects him with a force field)

Tree Wizard: What? You Forget I’m a wizard?

Finn: Maybe

BMO: I’m doomed

Tree Witch: Well maybe you should get us some Princess hair. So maybe your friend doesn’t get shot by my BROTHER!

Tree Wizard: Get us hair by Sundown or your friend DIES.

(BMO starts crying)

BMO: Please Finn go get some Princess Hair

Finn: All right, Fine

Fionna: We’ll hurry BMO

Tree Witch: wait! Don’t tell anybody what you need it for

Finn & Fionna: What? Why?

Tree Witch: I don’t want anybody to know that I have a balding problem.

Finn: Okay…

Fionna: That’s stupid

(They start to walk away from forest)

Fionna: So Finn what’s the closest prince near us?

Finn: Have to be… Gumball

Fionna: Ughh, but the candy Kingdom is so far away.

Finn: What about the Ice King? If you’re a king you must at one time been a prince, right?

Fionna: Ya! And I can just beat him up and take it from him!

Finn: See you later Fionna!

Fionna: See you later Finn!

(Scene changes to show Finn looking at castle)

Finn: It’s Muscle Princess’s Castle!

(Knocks on door)

(Muscle Princess picks up the door from the inside and throws it away)

Muscle Princess: Hi Finn

Finn: Uh, Hey Princess Muscles

Muscle Princess: What brings you by?

Finn: Uh you were the nearest princess and I need a lock of your hair

(Muscle Princess Looks away and blushes)

Muscle Princess: I understand

Finn: You do?

Muscle Princess: Mm Hmm,

(Starts to hug Finn)

(Finn Screams and falls through her arms onto the ground)

Finn: What are you doing?

Muscle Princess: Trying to give you a hug

Finn: Why? I want hair not hug.

Muscle Princess: Oh I see, you want to take things slo-o-ow.

Finn: No I’m here to save you from your hair, it looks really bad. Cut it off quick

Muscle Princess: Of course it looks bad. If I have beautiful shiny hair then no one would look at my muscles

(Starts punching Finn around)

Muscle Princess: Come back when you want to get serious about loving me!

(Slams door back into place)

(Screen now shows Finn lying on the ground beat up and bruised)

Finn: I am terrible at talking to ladies.

(Scene changes to Fionna wondering around in the ice kingdom)

Fionna: Where is that that injudicious excuse for a king.

(Ice King floats down from the sky and lands before her)

Ice King: Finally a beautiful Princess has ent- Oh it’s you

Fionna: What’s that supposed to mean?

Ice King: why can’t you bring beautiful princesses with you?

Fionna: Shut up! I just need your hair.

Ice King: Wow! I new we were friends but I never expected you to like me that way.

Fionna: What no, I don’t, I mean, well your old!

Ice King: Awww, young ones in love are always the cutest!

Fionna: That’s it I give up

Ice King: I’ll be waiting here my little bunny!

(We know find Finn back in the woods looking for Princesses)

Finn: Were am I going to find a Princess. Princess, Princess, Princess… Who’s that?

(Shows LSP sleeping at a hobo camp)

Finn: It’ Lumpy Space Princess,

(Finn looks around confused at the trash he sees around her)

Finn: Does she live in the woods now?

LSP (Sleep Talking): Get Away From my camp! I’ll cut you… I’m never going back

Finn: Huh, wait does she even have hair

(Finn gets really close to LSP, revealing her body is covered in very short purple hair)

Finn: She does!

Finn: Well hair’s hair

(Pulls out a pair of scissors)

(LSP wakes up in the middle of him clipping her hair)

LSP: Om My Glob, what the stuff are you doing? Why are you cutting my lumps?

Finn: Because their so…

LSP: I knew you liked me!

(Screen pans to show Finn’s face in disgust)

Finn: No I don’t I was just stopping by because…

LSP: Just admit it lover boy, you can’t resist me! Well if you want these lumps, you got to put a ring on it. Where’s my ring!?

(Finn does a high-pitch scream and runs away)

LSP: I knew you liked me Finn, that’s why your running, get in touch with your feelings babe!

(Finn was running through a dense fog now when he hits something and falls to the ground)

Fionna: Ow, look were you’re going okay?

Finn: Sorry, it’s hard to see with the fog. Oh, did you get the Ice King hair?

Fionna: Oh, he, um, pulled an army of penguins on me, so I um couldn’t defeat him. So I guess no luck on your end either, huh.

Finn: Ya, what am I going to do?

Fionna: Huh? Look over there Finn!

Finn: A grave Yard? Yes! There got to be a harry Princess in there that won’t think I’m hitting on her.

(Finn goes around all the tombstones asking Princess)

Finn: Ughh! Come on

Fionna: Bingo! Finn! I found one!

(He stops at a grave stone and starts reading what it says)

Finn: Here lies Princess Beautiful, she was so beautiful. Hey that’s perfect! And sort of Macomb. Oh well.

(Finn and Fionna starts digging up her grave)

Finn: Ah-Ha!

(He reaches the casket and opens it.)

(Only to be surprised to find no hair on the princess)

Princess Beautiful: Hi Finn

Finn: Ahhh!

Fionna: Zombie!

(Finn moves her skull around checking to see if she has any hair)

Princess Beautiful: What? Please stop that

(Finn climbs out of the whole followed by Princess Beautiful)

Finn: Where’s her hair?

Princess Beautiful: Thanks Finn

(Finn pushes away from the bottom of the tombstone so he can read the rest)

Finn: Here lies Princess Beautiful; she was so beautiful ''But Died Of Chronic Baldness. ''Dang it!

Fionna: Well that was useless.

(Finn pulls out his communicator watch and contacts BMO, BMO appears but beat up and damaged)

Tree Witch: I’m gonna be so beautiful. And go to parties

Tree Wizard: And I can totally get my old girl friend back, this’ll prove to her that I’m not a nerd.

Finn: BMO, BMO, I’m so sorry. Getting Princess Hair is, is, impossible. They all just think I’m in love with them. Ughh, I can’t do it! You gonna have to just die.

BMO: Noooo!

Tree Witch: Quiet down! I’m daydreaming!

BMO (whispers): Finn, if they think you like them then use that, embrace it! Find the least terrible Princess you can play her some music, cook her meal, smooth talk her until she like you, and then get the hair.

Finn: Wait, you mean like go on a date?

BMO: Marry a princess if you have to! Just get her hair!

(BMO gets punched once more and Finn’s watch goes blank)

Fionna: What did BMO say?

Finn: Were going to plan a date.

(Now shows Finn & Fionna running into the candy kingdom)

Finn: Princess Bubblegum!

(It shows Finn holding an ax standing in front of PB watering her plants)

PB: Hi Finn!

Finn: I-I need you to come with me

PB: Why? I’m watering right now.

(Finn smack the water can out he hand)

Finn: Just come on, we don’t have much time

(Scene now shows Fionna walking down a candy hallway were an explosion comes from the kitchen)

She opens The door and yells “Gumball”

Gumball: Oh, hello Fionna how do you do?

Fionna: Gumball I need to you to go on a date with me!

Gumball: I just made some bread if yo- Wait what?

(Fionna picks him up and starts to run into the forest)

(They all enter an open spot in the woods with a pot of boiling water in the middle)

PB: What is this Finn?

Gumball: Umm, Fionna does this mean yo-

Finn: We’re all going to have a spaghetti dinner

PB: Oh really? Where are we going to sit?

(Finn goes off yelling and chops down a tree)

PB: Uh Finn?

(Fionna then chops up the tree even more to creates seats for all of them)

Finn: Put your butt here! Hurry!

PB: Oh.

(Finn pulls a fancy table cloth from his back pack along with silverware, dishes, and a candle and places it all on the tree)

(He then turns to a little Lady Bug with a violin)

Finn: Hey Simon, make it romantic

(Finn then goes to the boiling pot of water and pulls the spaghetti out)

Finn: Oww. Here shove this in your mouth, it’s hot.

(He drops the spaghetti on the table)

(Fionna the rushes to get Gumball serving)

PB: Finn, I don’t understand…

Gumball: Fionna you never…

Finn: Please Princess just stick it in your mouth.

Fionna: Please eat the grub

PB: Well, Okay

Gumball: IF you say so Fionna

(Fills her mouth with a big spoonful of spaghetti)

(While gumball takes small proportionate sections of spaghetti

PB (Muffled): Your lucky I like spaghetti.

Finn: Um, Princess, do you like me?

PB: Finn, of course I like you

Finn: Really?

PB: Yea

Finn: Yes!

Finn: Now give me some of your hair!

PB: Oh Finn, that’s sweet, sure I’ll give you some of my hair.

Gumball: Fionna it was really nice of you to set this all up

Fionna: Yea, yea, do you like me?

Gumball (Looks with deep longing in his eyes as if he’s been waiting for her to say this for a long time)

Fionna, you mean so much to me (He picks up her hand and looks into her blue eyes)

Fionna: So you’ll give me some of your hair?

Gumball (laughs): Sure, but only if you give me some of yours.

(Fionna cuts off a link of her hair and hands it to Gumball, without questioning it)

As he hands her his hair, he pulls something out of his pocket

Gumball: Fionna, I have something else I want to give you, for you to use in emergencies

Fionna: You mean like the Lich?

Gumball: You’re not supposed to know about that yet!

Fionna Shrugs: A lot of stuff gets leaked on the internet

Gumball: I have a magical ring to give you, it protects you against evil magic, but you should only useit in real emergencies.

Fionna: Umm, okay

(PB tears of her hair)

PB: Here, take it you cutie

(Finn jumps on the table knocking everything off)

Finn: Thank you Princess Bubblegum!

PB: My spaghetti!

Finn & Fionna run off to save BMO

Gumball: Hey sis, you don't think fionna really li-

PB: Nope she doesn't

Gumball: But we could be a cute couple!

Princess Bubblegum: For The Last Time NO! Plus she doesn't even like you.

Gumball: Yes she does, we went on a date!

PB: She was using you dude

Gumball: Well you use your boyfriend all the time

PB: Wai-what? Finn is... He doesn't... He likes Flame princess

Gumball: Your not supposed to know that!

(Scene is back to the Tree Wizard holding the gun to BMO’s face)

Tree Witch: My cat had kittens. I’m thinking about naming one of them little whiner. What do you think? Do you think that’s a good name?

(Finn & Fionna appear holding PB’s and GB’s hair)

Finn: Totally did it. Genuine Princess Hair, hear that BMO?

BMO (Quiet and muffled): Just give it to her already

Finn: all right lady, a deal is a deal.

(Finn hands her the hair and she gasps in excitement)

Tree Witch: This isn’t hair! It’s bubblegum!

Tree Wizard: Mine is Gum too!

BMO: What?!

(Finn takes the hair back and licks it)

Finn: It is bubblegum!

Tree Witch: Well I guess you failed, say goodbye to your friend.

BMO: Noooo!

Finn: Wait!

Tree Witch: What?

Finn: If I learned anything today it’s that I’m awesome at talking to ladies. And you lady are crazy ugly!

(The Tree Witch does an almost silent gasp)

Fionna: Duuuude!

Finn: Having beautiful hair isn’t going to get you anywhere. Because your ugly inside and out. So ugly I want to throw up.

BMO: Finnnnnnn!

Finn: No one will ever find you beautiful, EVEEEER. And it got nothin’ to do with the old chrome dome; it has to do with what’s in here. (Points to his heart)

Finn: Can you get off my friend now?

(BMO cries)

Tree Witch: Well now were going to kill your sister too,

Fionna: what?!

Tree Witch: Well don’t get me wrong I now I’m ugly, and evil, but that speech isn’t going to change me

(As the Tree Wizard tries to grab her Fionna slips on her magical ring and punches him in the nose)

He falls back on the ground

She then flip around picks up the gun he had dropped and shot him and the Tree Witch

Finn: Fionna!

Fionna: I don’t know what happened I think this ring took control of me, (she quickly takes it off and places back in her pack.)

BMO: Look their glowing!

The tree Witch and Tree Wizard glowed such a bright light and then both spontaneously exploded.

Confetti and streamers came out of nowhere and landed on Fionna & Finn

Finn: Geez, I feel kind of bad

Fionna: Ewww, is this like their guts?

Then they look before them and see two young and beautiful woodland nymphs

Female Tree Nymph: Thank You two heroes!

Male Tree Nymph: Yes you saved us from the curse of being evil wizards for the rest of our lives

Fionna: Oh, so the only way to reverse it was to die?

Female Tree Nymph: Yes but it was so long ago that we had forgotten how to reverse it.

Finn: Great happy ending for all

BMO walks up to female Tree Nymph

BMO: If we dated Loraine would never have to know

Fionna: BMO!