Evicted!/Transcript

Marceline:Transcript
Jake:And after the carnage that it had wrought, the vampire SMASHED THEIR SKULLS!!! Just for the fun of it!

Finn:No way!

Jake:Yes way, it did. And then the vampire hunched over it's victims, and breathed their vaporized blood mist.

(warbling with tounge)

Finn:Ah, geez! Jake, is this stuff you're saying true? Or are you just trying to mess me up? You have to be honest.

Jake:Oh, it's true, man. I heard it from a reliable source.

Finn:Reliable? Rats!

Jake:Yeah. Some say it haunted this very tree!

Finn:This tree?!

Jake:(ominously)Good niiiight...

Finn:Jake?

(Jake warbling downstairs)

Finn:You're full of it, Jake!

(Jake warbling ominously)

Finn:Errr..(he hears croaking and sees a worm on his bed) NO WORMS ON THE BED! (Hits worm with pillow.)

(sees a tree limb tapping on his window, then a mysterious figure taps on the window)

Finn:Huh?(lightnig crashes, and the figure's scary face is seen)

Finn:AAAAAH!!! (runs downstairs)

Finn:Jake! Jake! I saw someone outside the window! I think it's the vampire, an I think we're unprepared, and I---

Jake:Relax, buddy. I made that story up. I was just trying to scare you.

Finn:But you said you heard it from a reliable source!

Jake:Ha ha! I made that up, too. I was trying to scare you, and it worked! (laughs)

(the window blows open by itself, the lights go out, and Jake screams)

Finn:No one's outside.

Jake:Whew!

Finn:It was just the wind, scaredy-cat.

Jake:I wasn't scared, I was singing. I was singing my scream song. Ahh! Ahh! AAaah-uh-aah!

Finn:You're a total wuss, man.

(a bag drops, there is a vampire on the ceiling that hisses and scares Finn and Jake)

Marceline:Hey, guys. What's up? I'm Marceline, the Vampire Queen.

Finn: (afraid) Are you gonna smash my skull and breathe my blood mist?!

Jake:Don't suck our blood!

Marceline:(laughing) Calm down, weenies. I'm not gonna do that. (lights candles)

Finn:Sooo, you don't suck blood?

Marceline:Sometimes, I do. But it's not the blood that I like. It's the color. I eat shades of red.

(sucks the red out of a strawberry, and gives it to Finn)

Marceline:Uh, I am exhausted. I've been traveling all over the land of Ooo. And I've seen some things that would really make you say "like what?"

Finn:Like what?

Marceline:I encountered a school of goldfish beasts. (a flashback of Marceline riding giant goldfish)

Marceline:And I fooled around in the Fire Kingdom. (a flashback of Marceline hoola-hooping in the Fire Kingdom)

Finn:OOO!

Marceline:Oh, and check these out. (she has nuts in her hands)

Finn:Nuts?

Marceline:Oh, these aren't ordinary nuts. (squeazes the nuts and they become little creatures)

Finn:(laughs) You're wonderful.

Jake:Um, yeah. Thank you for not sucking our blood.

Marceline:You guys seem cool, too. But as you can see, I'm really tired. So you two should probabaly get going.

Finn:What?

Marceline:(sighs) Look. (she removes a poster and reveals an "M" carved into the tree) "M" for "Marceline".

Jake:Aw, man.

Marceline:I carved in this tree years ago. Way before you two rascals started squatting here.( kicks F and J out)

(shuts the door)

Marceline:Good night!

Jake:Come on, Finn. Let's get out of here.

Finn:She can't kick us out of our house!

Jake:Finn!

Finn:Get down here, lady! And fight me!

Jake:She's a vampire, dude!

(Marceline sucks the red out of a crumpet, and throws it onto Finn)

Finn:I'm gonna kill her.

Jake:Dude, if half the stories I've heard, made up or true, vampires will kill you. There's no question!

(Marceline hisses at them and then walks away, laughing)

Finn:But, what about our home?

Jake:A VAMPIRE TOOK IT! Aw, man. We should go house-hunting.

Finn:But, I like our home.

Jake:Finn, house-hunting is wild! You've got to try it.

Finn:Really?

Jake:Yeah, man! It is so nuts!

Finn:Ha! You wouldn't know nuts when you say it.

Jake:Bla-bla-bla-ble-ble-bla-bloo-bloop!

Finn:Okay, I'm in! Heyup! (hops on Jake)

Jake:Things are gonna start going our way. (sun rises)

Jake:See? What'd I tell ya?

(song begins)

So Finn and Jake

Set out to find a new home

It's gonna be tough

For a kid and a dog on their own

There's a little house

Aw, Finn's sticking his foot in it

Well, that's a bad idea, dude

Cause, now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Finn!

And now they're chillin' on a side of a hill

Thinkin' livin' in a cloud' be totally thrillin'

Unless they find somethin' inside

Like a mean cloud man

And his beautiful cloud bride

A beehive

Oh, no!

Don't put your foot in there, guy

<p style="text-align: center;">Ya'll tried that before

<p style="text-align: center;">And you know it didn't

<p style="text-align: center;">Turn out right!

<p style="text-align: center;">Big shell, go inside

<p style="text-align: center;">Look around, seems alright

<p style="text-align: center;">Frog jumps out!

<p style="text-align: center;">Barfs a tiger

<p style="text-align: center;">Throws down potions

<p style="text-align: center;">For food and fi-i-re!

<p style="text-align: center;">You know you should have stayed

<p style="text-align: center;">And fought that sexy vampire lady

<p style="text-align: center;">But Jake was feeling terrififed

<p style="text-align: center;">He was super scared of her vampire bite

<p style="text-align: center;">Which is understandable

<p style="text-align: center;">Cause vampires are really powerful

<p style="text-align: center;">They're unreasonable

<p style="text-align: center;">And burnt out on dealing with mortals

<p style="text-align: center;">Oh, Marceline

<p style="text-align: center;">Why are you so mean?

<p style="text-align: center;">(Marceline)

<p style="text-align: center;">I'm not mean

<p style="text-align: center;">I'm a thousand years old

<p style="text-align: center;">And I just lost track

<p style="text-align: center;">Of my moral code

<p style="text-align: center;">(Singer)

<p style="text-align: center;">Oh, Marceline

<p style="text-align: center;">Can't you see these guys are in pain?

<p style="text-align: center;">(Marceline)

<p style="text-align: center;">No I can't

<p style="text-align: center;">I'm invested in this very cute

<p style="text-align: center;">Video game

<p style="text-align: center;">(Singer)

<p style="text-align: center;">So there go our boys

<p style="text-align: center;">Walkin' on the icey ground

<p style="text-align: center;">Headin' towards they're destiny

<p style="text-align: center;">I'm sure they'll figure somethin' out

<p style="text-align: center;">(song ends)

Finn:This is weak! I don't even like any of these places. I wanna go home.

Jake:Finn, let me tell you a little about what home really means.(plays viola)

Jake:La, la, la... (singing) Home isn't a place, lemme give you a clue..

Jake:Home isn't a place, where I care about you...

Finn:I don't wanna hear a lecture, dude! I just wanna go home...

Jake:(singing) But, home is where your heart is, Finn! And where is your heart, Finn? Well it's right here inside you when i'm sitting here beside you! (talking) With your lucky stars to guide you from above. (They look up, a star floats around, then poofs and disappears)