Puhoy/Transcript

Jake: Beep beep! Look out! Beep beep! Pillow delivery! Look out buddy!

Finn: Uuf!

BMO: Uuf!

Finn: Come on Jake...

Jake: Sorry buddy, just trying to cheer you up some.

Jake: I mean here you are chillin' out with history's coolest friends, building an actual pillow fort, but you just sit there sulking- I mean what gives!?

Finn: *sigh* I guess I'm just thinking about Flame Princess, I told her a joke the other day and she didn't even laugh or anything; guess it's over between us.

Jake: That's it?! A joke?

BMO: Maybe she just didn't get it yet.

Finn: Year right Beemo, more like she used up all her laughs on some other guy's jokes probably.

Finn: Man, having a girlfriend is hard.

Jake: No! being crazy is hard. You're getting all hung up, all hung up on imaginary problems, you gotta focus on what's real man.

Jake: You see this cup? This is literally my favorite cup.

Jake: Now it's gone forever so it's not real and I don't care about it anymore.

BMO: *gasp* Oh no! My favorite window!

Finn: I don't even know what you guys are talking about.

Finn: I think I just need some alone time. Gotta let my mine fester a bit you know? I'll be back in a little while.

Jake: Finn! Festering is always bad man! There's no good kind of festering! Finn!

Finn: Man, this looked smaller from the outside. What's this now?

Finn: What the?!

Finn: Jake, what's in here?!

Finn: Jake?

Finn: Oh whoa! Did Jake build this part too? That guy needs some more girlfriends or something.

Finn: Hey Jake! You need more girlf- what the...? Doors gone?

Finn: Hmm, maybe there's another door in yonder pillow town.

Finn: I don't get this at all.


 * Screaming in the distance*

Pillow children: Dragon!! Blanket dragon! Run!

Finn: Huh?

Pillow child: Oof! Hey mistah, you betta get runnin' bwanket drwagon!

Finn: Now this I understand!

Finn: Whoa, that's it?

Pillow child: Wow.

Pillow people: *cheering* Did you see that.

Finn: Hey, uh how's it going?

Quilten: Hoy hoy there! I am Quilten, son of Pillowford and you have saved our village!

Quilten: You and your sharp pillow.

Finn: Hah, it's nothing- I kill things all the time.

Quilten: Oh nonsense! This calls for a celepillowbration!

Pillow people: *cheering*

Finn: *sigh*

Rosalinen: There you are Finn the Human.

Finn: Oh, hey there...

Finn: Um, you can just call me Finn if you want.

Rosalinen: Alright Finn, my name is Rosalinen daughter of Quilten, you have to call me the whole thing.

Finn: Oh uh...

Rosalinen: Just kidding!

Finn: Heh.

Finn: Oh, uh your dad seems fun.

Quilten: Oh ha ha, oh my! Huzaaah!

Rosalinen: *chuckles* yeah. Um, you wanna dance?

Finn: Oh, well... I have a girlfriend.

Rosalinen: *laughs* Dummy, its a dance not marriage.

Finn: *laughs* yea, okay!

Finn: This place is weird.

Rosalinen: Are you telling me that birds in your world don't poo little pillowcases?

Finn: Naah, just regular poo.

Rosalinen: Hey, like this.

Finn: Eh yeah, it's really cool, where I come from I live with my friend, whose my brother and he's a dog. We fight stuff, it's cool, its really different than here.

Finn: I mean where I'm from blankets and pillows are used for bedding.

Rosalinen: *laughs* Well they're used for that here too.

Finn: Heh heh uh.

Quilten: Woo oo ooh hoo hoo! Delightful.

Finn: Ah man, it's been nice Rosalinen but I gotta get back to my home.

Finn: Quiilten, I need your help to find a portal to my home world.

Quilten: Of course we will do our best to help you, Finn the Flesh Pillow. But you're not making a fold of snese!

Quilten: Please, share our food, you need nourishment.

Finn: It taste... like... a pillow...

Quilten: I'll give your compliments to the pillow.

BMO: Oh, there you are! You found your mug, I thought you say you didn't care.

Jake: *sips*

BMO: That mug is empty.

Jake: I wonder what Finn's up to.

Jay: Roar! I'm the blanket dragon!!

Bonnie: Well I'm daddy! Cha-pow!

Rosalinen: Jay, Bonnie. I bet you dad's just about finished chopping wool. You guys wanna bring him his lunch?

Jay & Bonnie: Yes!

Finn: *laughs* Alphanumeric!

Finn: Hello sheep! You don't make a fluff of sense!

Jay & Bonnie: Daddy!

Finn: Oh! What is this!

Finn: A pack of fearsome pillow goblins?!

Bonnie: Daddy, we're your kids!

Rosalinen: psst, Finn, they've brought you lunch.

Finn: Oh they have, have they.

Finn: Tiny pillows. Mmm mmm mm mmm.

Jay: *giggles*

Finn: Darling, you've out done yourself.

Jay & Bonnie: Grand pillow!

Rosalinen: What's my father doing here?

Quilten: Ah hoy!

Jay & Bonnie: Grand pillow!

Quilten: Oh oh oh, come here!

Quilten: Oh. but I've come to speak with your father.

Finn: What is it Quilten?

Quilten: When you first arrived here, you told us about a mysterious door that led you to our world.

Finn: Yes, of course.

Quilten: Our archeologist found this in the pillow catacombs.

Quilten: The Pillownomacon.

Finn: Oh my glob.

Quilten: There is no information about the door say for the fact it shows up periodically then disappears.

Finn: Quilten, I need to find that door.

Jake: Uh, hey Beemo, I gotta snag my mug from you.

BMO: Oh, really?

Jake: Hey no don't sweat it, I'll make us some hot chocolate.

BMO: Jake, you drive a hard burger.

Finn: Hello?

Rasheta: Ah yes, come in.

Finn: Are these The Great Abracadabra Mountains, and are you Rasheta the Great Oracle, dweller of said mountains?

Rasheta: Yes, you must be Finn the Human Man, seeker of the wandering portal.

Finn: Yes, I've searched or decades, how did you know?

Rasheta: I've read it in the tea leaves, this newspaper I found from the future.

Finn: Does it say how I get home?

Rasheta: The real question is: are you sure you want to?

Finn: Uh yeah!

Rasheta: Well don't worry you won't be here long. *farts*

Finn: So there is another way to...

Rasheta: Not long now *farts*

Finn: *coughs*

Finn: *coughing*

Bonnie: Father

Jay: What did the Oracle say father? Have we come to the right spot finally?

Finn: I think so, but the oracle spoke in riddles.

Finn: And I have to fester on this one for a bit-

Rosalinen: Oh Finn, I know you have to go, all these years I've known.

Rosalinen: But now that it's time...

Rosaline: Oh man, I'm just all messed up about it. Just promise me you'll remember us, when you're back in your real life.

Finn: Hmm, that reminds me Rosalinen, something Jake told me just before I came to this world.

Jake: Your getting all hung up on imaginary problems, stay with your new wife, you've known her longer now than any of us. You're not even sure if I ever really existed. And I'm pretty sure I didn't looked like this.

Finn: Man, how did he see it all coming so clearly?

Finn: Come on everyone pack your things, we're going home.

BMO: *laughing* Goodness Jake, why don't you do this with your other babies?

Jake: Well, Rainicorn babies age rapidly they don't need their parents a couple hours after they're born.

BMO: That really stinks huh?

Jake: Mmmmm

BMO: Hot chocolate is ready!

Rosalinen: Finn... Finn

Finn: Wh-what?

Rosalinen: Are you comfortable?

Finn: I'm alright.

Bonnie: Um, dad... dad. We just wanted to say that we *cries*

Jay: That... we love you dad.

Finn: I remember... back... when I was dad.

Jay: Dad, you are our dad!

Finn: I ain't dead yet!

Finn: Oh, no, wait! Here it comes! Ooooh! Oh oh boy!

Jake: Hey buddy, you feeling better already?

Finn: Huh? Oh I don't know man.

Finn: I just had the number one most wildest dream.

Jake: Really?

Finn: Yeah! I was g-

Finn: Hello? Oh hey! Oh *chuckles* thanks!

Finn: Yeah, okay, bye.

Finn: That was Flame Princess, she said she didn't get my joke until just now and that it's really funny and awesome!

BMO: Ha ha! I knew it!

Jake: Yeah, that's great man. Now what about this dream?

Finn: What dream?

Jake: The dream you were just talking about.

Finn: Huh?

Jake: Just a second ago!

Finn: *shrugs*

Jake: The dream you just had in the pillow fort!

Finn: Pfft!