Memories of Boom Boom Mountain/Transcript

’'(The episode starts showing the marauders village)''

'' Squid Bartender: You guys sure you want another round of squid ink? *laughs* (Two Marauders drink their mugs and then one smashes theirs over the others head.)

Head Marauder : (The camera pans to show many marauders rough-housing in pairs. Then it shows Finn and the Head Marauder fighting.) You’re not too bad for a human boy!

Finn: Not too bad!? I’m better than that! (Hears Mountain Man crying) *Pauses* (Throws the Head Marauder out of the way) Jake! Do you hear that?

Jake: (He is riding a bucking half-stag half-marauder)What’d you say? Whoa! (Gets tossed and then kicked over to Finn)

Finn: I think someone’s crying. (The Head Marauder jumps Finn) Stop! (Knocks the Head Marauder off) This is serious! I gotta go find out where that crying is coming from! (Begins to walk away)

Head Marauder : Get back here you chickeeeen!

Marauders: Ohhhhhhhh! (Backing up the Head Marauder )

Finn: (Turns around) What did you call me?

Head Marauder : You can’t just walk away from a roughhouse!

Finn: (Jumps on top of a table) Hey! Listen up you cold hearted marauders! Someone’s out there crying for help and I’m not gonna ignore that!

Jake: Awwww here it comes! Lay it down Finn!

Finn: A long time ago when I was a baby, I went boom boom on a leaf. Boom! Boom! (Flash back shows baby Finn going boom boom on a leaf) And I fell backwards and sat in my own boom boom. I cried for a day. But no one came to help me. (A lady bug lady and her child walk past as the mother covers its child’s eyes) That day I vowed to help anyone in need! No matter how small their problem. (Flash back ends) And that’s why I need to go. (Runs off)

Jake: (The Head Marauder starts to clap and the others follow) He still cries when he poops. Thanks for being cool guys. Wait up Finn! (Boulders are rolling down the mountains Mountain Man is crying) It’s comin’ from up there!

Finn: Someone must be caught in that avalanche! Let’s get it on! (Finn hops on Jake’s back and he stretches them to the top. Avoiding boulders) So, who’s crying?

Mountain Man: I am.

Finn: Whoa! Aww, what’s wrong fella? You cryin’ boulders?

Mountain Man: Yes, I am sad. Having been forced to watch roughhousing men for centuries.

Finn: Ohhhh! I see. You’re feeling left out and you wanna roughhouse too! Well I can take you on tough guy! Come on Jake! Back me up! (Starts punch the mountain)

Jake: Yeah, do it Finn! Hit ‘im with a boulder! And then hit ‘im with another rock!

Mountain Man: Please! No roughhousing! It…m-makes…me…soooo.. SAD! (Boulders are launched from his eyes)

Finn: Huh? Why?

Mountain Man: Because they’re so rough on each other!

Finn: (With a slight stutter) But a smooth well controlled roughhouse bolsters your guts and rejuvenate the muscle.

Mountain Man: No! It’s raunchy and maddening! All those men and their disgusting fantastic bodies!

Jake: Whoa. This guy’s got problems.

Finn: *gasp* (Flash back starts.)

''Ladybug kid: Look mommy! (Points at Finn)''

''Ladybug Lady: Honey! Don’t look! That kid’s got problems! (Walks away as in the first flashback. Flash back ends)''

Finn: I’ll help you mountain!

Jake: Whoa! What!

Finn: I’ll stop those roughhousers from being rough!

Mountain Man: Really? You’d do that for me?

Finn: Yes sir! My names Finn and I’m gonna help you out!

Jake: But Finn, we’re not gonna shut down the roughhouse for really are we?

Finn: No way! But there’s got to be some kind of solution. I’ll figure this out Mountain Man! (Jumps of Mountain Man) Yup!

Head Marauder : Aw! Finn! Ready to get destroyed!

Finn: N-nooo! Wait, um, actually, could you guys stop being so rough.

Marauders: What!? (One marauder hits his head on a table)

Head Marauder : Whoa whoa whoa! (Waves off other marauders) What are you talking about Finn?

Finn: Could you guy just tone down the roughhousing a little?

Marauder: What!? (Hits head on table again)

Head Marauder : Whoa! Hey, hey. Shh. It’s all right fellas. Finn, I’m sure this tone down the roughing thing has something to do with your boom boom, and I can respect that, but how can we POSSIBLY! Make roughhousing! Less rough!

Finn: (Sees a duck and rat to the side) I think I have a perfect idea! (Finn is seen tying several ducks to a marauders hand) This’ll soften your punched for smooth knock outs. Like punching a dream!

Marauder: (Head Marauder punches someone and the ducks quack) Ha! Ha! Pigs on my knees! Pigs on my knees! (Knees someone in the face and the pig oinks) 

Jake: That’s like math (While fist bumping Finn) 

Finn: Mathematical. (On top of Mountain Man) What do ya think? Fixed all you’re problems right!

Mountain Man: No! That was terrible! Now they’re just punching animals! It’s worse than before and it’s in no way a good solution!

Finn: I’m sorry!

Mountain Man: Well you should be! It’s not fair to those animals and it’s not fair to me! I might just start to cry again, you know? (Starts to cry again)

Jake: Aw, man.

Finn: Come on Jake. I gotta give this another shot!

Jake: Finn this guy seems like a real nut job. You know what I mean? I don’t wanna get sucked into this guy’s hang-ups.

Finn: Yes I do Jake. That’s what I vowed! To help anyone in need! No matter how small their problem! (Boom Boom) At least I have to try brother.

Jake: (Jumps of Mountain Man with Finn) So be it brother.

Finn: Hey guys. I’m back. (Marauders are roughhousing and ignore him) Hey guys. Guys? Men! Men. Please stop a second. Men! Boys? Please? I have more to ask of you! Bros? My bros? (Pets marauder) Brother?

Marauder: What? Did you just pet me! I’ll pet you! Pet pet! Heeeey! Pet pet. Hey this is great! (Pets other marauder)

Marauder: Hey! Did you just pet me!

Marauder: Yeah! I did!

Marauder: Well I’ll pet you back! Wha-whoa. What the- This is awesome! (Starts to pet each other)

Finn: Alright! This could be it! (Finn goes around and spreads the petting addiction)

Head Marauder : Finn! *laughs* You’re really mixin’ things up in the best of ways today!

Jake: (Being petted by animals) Maybe you can solve everyone’s problems. Like a cherub with it’s bottom out.

Finn: *laughs* Okay, cool. Hey, I’m gonna go tell the mountain.

Jake: Alright I’m gonna- *sighs* stay here this time.

Finn: (Mountain Man laughs) So, everything’s fine this time, right?

Mountain Man: Yes! Thank you Finn!

Finn: (back in the village) So the mountain is totally fine with everyone petting. I feel great.

Jake: Right on man! The marauders are going crazy over the petting! They’re petting each other raw! Check ‘em out!

Finn: (The marauders look un happy whilst petting each other) They look kinda rashy.

Head Marauder : Hey Finn! Hey man. As you can see the petting got sorta out of hand. (Marauders pets him and he smacks his hand away) Stop that! We are done with that! We’re going back to roughhousing!

Finn: No wait fellas! The mountain doesn’t like roughhousing.

Head Marauder : Well we don’t like not roughhousing! Ya see the problem here?

Finn: Well. Well what if we rotate the entire mountain 180 degrees around, so the mountain’s facing the other direction. That way, you guys can keep roughhousing and the mountain doesn’t have to watch it!

Head Marauder : Sounds fine with me!

Finn: What do ya say mountain!

Mountain Man: That’s okay. Only if you guys promise to stay healthy and not roughhouse after you rotate me.

Head Marauder : That mountain can talk?

Jake: Just promise him anything, he’s out of his gourd.

Head Marauder : Yeah! We’ll stay healthy!

Mountain Man: Oh! Thank goodness! Alright kids, spin me the math around!

Finn: Now I just need to set up some sort of pulley system.

Mountain #2: No! Over here! Don’t turn him around! If you do, I’ll miss looking at his beautiful back! It’s gorgeous!

Mountain Man: Huh? What? Really!?

Finn: What!? A-but-ahh. Um, maybe what we can do is.

Mushroom Creatures: Excuse me. We need your help. There’s no music playing and we desperately want to dance!

Finn: Oh, ah just a second you guys. I’ll a- I’ll help you out in one minute.

Coal Man: Hey! Pipe down over there! I want some peace and quiet!

Finn: Let me just a-

Cactus Creature: I need to be pollenated!

Finn: Huh!?

Cactus Creature: Pollenated all over to make my babies!

Finn: Everybody please! One problem at a time!

Dragon: (Roars) My butts itchy, but I can scratch it!

Ice Cube Creature: This waters to cold (Sitting in a puddle)

Fish: Mommy, please keep the flies away from our mommy. (Their mom is out of the water surrounded by flies)

Electroids: (Points to Plum Frog) That guy stole our triangle.

Plum Frog: (Points to Electroids) They swiped my plum.

Marauders: We wanna roughhouse! We wanna roughhouse!

Naked Wizard: I’m naked! *laughs like the crazy old man he is*

Mountain Man: (Freaking out) What’s happening!

Finn: (Freaking out as well) Ahhhhh! Everybody wants different things! And some of them want stuff that’s exactly the thing the others don’t want.

Jake: Whoa dude. Hold on. So this guy wants this and that guy wants that, but man. What do you want? (Flashback begins “What dooo yooou waaant?”)

''Joshua: Want do you want baby? (Picks up Finn) Why are you crying? Margret this baby won’t tell me what’s wrong with it, and it’s stuck to a leaf, and it stinks.''

''Margret: (Takes Finn) Give it here Joshua. This baby needs love and kisses to be happy (Kisses Finn’s head several times and Finn starts laughing) There see? Now it’s happy.''

''Joshua: You just kissed a boom boom baby. So don’t expect any more sugar from mesweetheart until we wash your dirty dirty face.''

Finn: *gasps* Hmm. Jake. What I want is to help anyone in need, so everyone is happy!

Jake: *laughs* Wow, that’s pretty corny man, but let’s do it dude! Wooohoo!

Finn: (Holding megaphone) Ready over there mushroom gang?

Mushroom Creatures: Ready Finn!

Finn: Ready dragon?

Dragon: Yes sir!

Finn: Ready Mountain Man?

Mountain Man: *laughs*…I’m ready.

Finn: Go!

Fish: (The marauders begin roughhousing with strings attached to their limbs. The strings make several fans blow the flies off the fish’s mother. As well as playing music)Yay! The flies are leaving!

Coal Man: (The flies go and plug the coal man’s ears) Heh. Can hear a thing! (Throws to coal blocks onto two see-saws. This gives the frog back his plum and the electroids back their triangle) 

Cactus Creature: (The Mushroom Creatures here the music and begin to dance in the flowers which the pollenate the cactus.) Pollen! Here they come! (She buds and the babies fall off)

Dragon: (The dragon scratched his butt on the cacti and then melts the Ice Cube Creature with fire.) Oh yeah!

Naked Wizard: ( Steam rises up and the Naked Wizard grabs a chunk and puts it on his head.) Not naked! (Jumps into water)

Mountain Man: (The steam blocks the Mountain Man’s view) Hey, I can’t see anything! Is anyone roughhousing?

Jake: No!

Mountain Man: Radical.

Mountain #2: (Shows Mountain Man’s back to have a lake and river flowing down it) And I can still see this gorgeous back!

Mountain Man: Thank you Finn! You really helped everybody!

Jake: (Marauders lift up Finn and cheer) Stop! I’ve got a problem.

Finn: Well, what’s the matter?

Jake: This dolphin fell in love with me!

Finn: That’s the opposite of a problem! (Finn and Jake are then shown riding the dolphin in the water) Adventure Time!

(End of Episode)